35 – Happiness is in the Order of Grades (2)
Mother.
A word I had never used in my life. Of course, it wasn’t that such a presence didn’t exist for me. But I called that presence by a slightly different name.
I’m sorry.
I was wrong.
I won’t do it again.
That was the name of the original sin that gave birth to me, as well as the magic spell to defeat that demon. Of course, it didn’t always work. There were days when it wouldn’t work unless I recited the spell all day long, and there were days when I ended up with long scars on my calves before it worked. Even now, sometimes. When the sky is locked under gloomy clouds, there are times when the scars embedded in my memories throb and ache.
Therefore, my mother’s appearance was always like the beginning of a disaster to me.
“Yuna, is there something wrong?”
Perhaps my trembling heart was evident on my face, as the professor of magic approached me with a voice full of doubt. Finally, I managed to force a smile and lifted my head.
“Oh… no. So, is my mother here right now?”
“Yes. She is waiting for you and having a conversation with the principal.”
“She’s waiting for me?”
“Yes. Isn’t that obvious? After being separated for so long due to living in the dormitory, she must want to spend some time with you. That’s why I came to find you.”
“But what about the rest of my classes?”
“It’s okay. Since the exams just ended, most of the classes probably won’t cover any significant content. And as Ellen mentioned, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to take a day off.”
She glanced at Ellen with a slightly bewildered expression, and Ellen, as always, smiled playfully. I should have smiled along, but I couldn’t even muster the leisure to smile, so I tightly sealed my lips. The professor of magic gestured to me in response.
“Well then, let’s go, Yuna. I’ll accompany you to the principal’s office. Ellen, you should go quickly and prepare for the next class.”
“Oh, yes. I understand, Professor. Then, I’ll go, Yuna… no, Yuna.”
“Oh… yes. I understand. Ellen… sir.”
We awkwardly exchanged greetings and parted ways, and the professor looked at us as if we were adorable. Then, as she walked away, she muttered softly.
“Why are you acting like that all of a sudden? Are you afraid I’ll spread rumors?”
“Oh no, it’s not that…”
“Don’t worry. I have experience in keeping secrets. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Yes…”
I should have felt relieved, but I simply couldn’t find the space to do so. My mind was already filled with thoughts of my mother. The professor continued to speak cheerfully, unaware of my state of mind.
Anyway, it’s good for you, Yuna. The Duchess herself came to see you.”
“Ah… yes.”
“I heard how proud you are, praising to the point where your saliva dries up. I felt so embarrassed listening to it that I could hardly speak.”
“Mother… really?”
“Yes. You should have heard it yourself. Parents are not good at giving such praise in front of their children. Are they too shy? Anyway, the certainty is that they are incredibly proud of what happened this time.”
“They are proud, you say.”
“Yes. Very much so.”
“I see…”
Despite the positive stories, I stammered at the end of my words, feeling tense. There were no good memories associated with the name ‘Mother.’ And above all, the visit of the Duchess was an event not present in the original work, making me even more uneasy.
Of course, I might be reacting too sensitively. If the professor’s words were true, it didn’t seem like she had come with malicious intent.
I didn’t even know if I should be happy about it. The fact that an event not in the original work had occurred meant that there was a change in Yuna’s life. Whether it was a positive or negative change, I didn’t know, but at the moment, the former seemed more likely. That made sense logically.
But no matter how much I tried to reassure myself, the tension remained, sticking to the back of my throat like a thick sludge as I approached the chancellor’s office. The closer I got, the faster my heart pounded, resonating like the prelude to a disaster. The Duchess. Yuna’s mother. Just the thought of them being in front of me made my wrists and calves feel like they were burning.
To me, the term ‘mother’ represented such a presence.
“Oh my. You’re already here. Shall I knock then?”
“What? Uh… just a moment…!”
When I snapped out of it, we were already in front of the chancellor’s office. I hurriedly clapped my hands, but her hand was already knocking on the chancellor’s office door.
“Chancellor, Duchess. Yuna is here.”
“Oh, is that so? Please come in.”
“Alright. Yuna, then…”
“Wait a moment. Please wait. I’m still not quite ready.”
I knew it was useless, but I stalled for time. My heart, still pounding, was begging desperately for more time. Just a little more. I haven’t prepared yet. My clothes are a mess, my hair needs fixing, and most importantly, the preparation of my heart…!
Flap.
But in that moment, the door on the other side opened first, and a strange gust of air burst out from inside. I froze in surprise, still in the same posture from the sudden gust of wind. And then, the sound of footsteps echoed towards me. Every time I heard that sound approaching, I clenched my fists tightly and finally raised my head.
When I looked up all the way to the ceiling, I met the cold face of the Duchess.
If someone who didn’t know the situation saw her, they would mistake her for a statue. Her face was so cold and composed. She certainly had a beautiful appearance, much like Yuna, but the overwhelming aura that emanated from her haughty demeanor made it impossible to think of her as beautiful. In addition, her heavily pale makeup made the coldness even more palpable just by looking at her.
In that sense, she was very similar to Yuna’s late mother.
“…Yuna.”
At that moment, the Duchess opened her mouth and called my name. Her voice was so chilling and sharp that it seemed to freeze the air. I answered with a mosquito-like voice, feeling my pounding heart shrinking.
“M-Mother…”
As I answered pitifully, she slowly approached me. Step by step. Step by step. Step by step. Every time the sound of her shoes echoed, my heart shrank even smaller. Finally, when she stood in front of me, I couldn’t even dare to meet her gaze and lowered my head. The Duchess looked at me with a disdainful expression and opened her mouth.
“Yuna.”
“Mother…”
“Our beautiful child.”
“Yes?”
And suddenly, she hugged me tightly.
“M-Mother?”
In the warmth of her embrace, I was extremely confused and asked in a trembling voice. But the Duchess, without any hesitation, held me tightly, almost as if she was squeezing me.
“Oh, our beautiful Yuna. I missed you so much. How can you not even send a single letter after being apart for so long? Why didn’t you reply to my last letter?”
“Mother, that’s…”
“Oh, my. Call me ‘Mother’! Have you been in the dormitory for so long that you’ve forgotten how to address me? Or are you embarrassed to do so in front of other people?”
“Yes? I…”
“Just call me Mom as usual. Why carry that embarrassment for no reason?”
“Ah… Yes. Mom.”
“That’s right. I’m your Yuna.”
Only then did the Duchess release her embracing arms and face me. Unbeknownst to me, her eyes were now moist with tears. I was taken aback by the tears, unable to speak, and the Duchess tenderly stroked my head.
“Even if it’s because of your studies, isn’t it too much? I told you to keep in touch regularly.”
“I’m sorry… Mom.”
“No, it’s okay. Still, do you know how happy I was to hear about you? Really. Since entering, you haven’t missed the top spot. Our dear child, I’m so proud.”
“I…”
To be precise, even before entering, Duchess. Since you confidently secured the top spot in the entrance exam.
At that moment, the principal discreetly joined us. He was looking at us with a very pleased expression.
“Yuna here is a talent we also admire at our academy. Grades, behavior, social life—she’s an exemplary student in every aspect.”
“Your praise is overwhelming, to the point where I don’t know where to put myself. Of course, Yuna is an excellent child, but…”
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“It might be a presumptuous thing to say, but Duchess, you haven’t changed at all from before. Born into such a beloved home, Yuna can only achieve such outstanding grades.”
A beloved home? And has it been like this from before? Objectively, it wasn’t a false statement. Yuna started deviating when she began to fall behind Elise academically. Now, it’s inevitable that her relationship with the Duchess is good. And in fact, the pressure on Yuna came more from the elders of Richmond rather than her parents, so it wasn’t entirely strange.
Yet, I still felt awkward amidst all this. Perhaps, playing the role of a ‘child from a beloved home’ was excessively burdensome for me. Nevertheless, amidst it all, the Duchess continued to fondly stroke my head.
“I haven’t done anything. I’m so grateful that Yuna is doing well. Honestly, I was quite worried. Whether you eat well or not. If you feel lonely in the dormitory.”
“We are doing our best to take care of those concerns, Duchess. You don’t need to worry.”
“Of course, I understand. Oh, by the way, I’d like to take a little tour of the dormitory where Yuna is staying. Would that be okay?”
“Of course, Duchess. Of course. Naturally, you would be curious. And you two will have a lot to talk about. Can I arrange a carriage for you? It’s a bit of a distance.”
“That would be an honor. Well then, shall we go now, Yuna?”
“Yes… Yes? To my dormitory? Right now?”
“Well, of course. Your mom is so curious. By any chance, do you have anything weird hidden? Like naughty books?”
“It’s not like that…”
I still felt awkward in all of this and finally managed to speak. At that, the lady lowered her head towards me and spoke in a hushed voice.
“It’s a joke, my dear.”
And then, she even winked playfully. It was clearly not an action done with any sense of formality. Only then did I manage to smile a little and respond.
“Yes. Mom.”
“Alright. Let’s go.”
Once again, she held my hand, speaking in a whisper. Between the intertwined fingers, the two letters of “mom” were deeply engraved. The name was unexpectedly warm and gentle.
Throughout the way to the dormitory, she firmly held my hand. Even inside the shaky carriage, her hand gripped my heart without a tremor.
“So? Is dorm life manageable? Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m okay.”
“Why are you so tense, then? Is it because it’s in front of the headmaster? I heard that the headmaster usually deals with students strictly, right?”
“I can’t deny that. I usually try to treat students with as much courtesy as possible, but I think it just feels stern to young students.”
“Perhaps you need to improve your sense of humor a bit. What do you think, Yuna? How about it?”
She once again petted my head affectionately and asked sweetly. It was only then that I answered with a slightly relaxed expression.
“…Yes. It seems right.”
“Oh dear, I didn’t expect Yuna to say that.”
“Indeed, headmaster. You might need to make a bit of an effort.”
Soon, the carriage was filled with gentle laughter. The headmaster’s face showed kind wrinkles, and the lady embraced me, shaking with laughter. It gradually felt like my heartbeat was calming down, with even the tenderness of a mother pushing the baby carriage evident.
Maybe, is this what it feels like to have a mom?
Once again, the thought that I envy Yuna crossed my mind. Friends. Mom. Someone you like. Yuna had too much of what I didn’t have.
To the point where jealousy crept in.
As I entertained such thoughts, the carriage stopped, and the domain of my life unfolded before my eyes. The director smiled in his characteristic way and asked us.
“We’ve arrived. Would you like us to escort you up?”
“I appreciate the offer, but I’ll politely decline. We’ve already caused enough trouble. Besides, I want to walk with Yuna. Right, Yuna?”
“Yes, I’d like that too.”
“Alright then, let’s go.”
Once again, her hand pulled me along. Now, I found myself unconsciously entangled in the warmth of that touch. Unbeknownst to me, I, too, seemed to be feeling a hint of longing for the name ‘mom.’
“Oh, I forgot to ask. Is it okay for your mom to enter your room? Anything to tidy up?”
“Huh? Oh… yes, that’s fine.”
“Really?”
She playfully squinted her eyes. Mothers usually ask such things, huh? It felt awkward, even more so because it was a consideration I had never received in my previous life. I just smiled awkwardly and nodded. Once again, she opened the door to my dorm, smiling at me.
As soon as the door opened, the familiar air hit me. But now, the embarrassment crept in, thinking someone else might have entered. The lady entered and casually looked around.
“You’ve kept it neatly organized. I was worried you might be living in a mess.”
“No, not at all.”
“The servants didn’t do everything, did they?”
That smirk again. Now, I had the leisure to respond to that smirk.
“No, they didn’t. I manage just fine.”
“I wonder if I can trust that. By the way, is there a kitchen? I feel like making a meal for you after such a long time.”
“Mom?”
“Yeah. Why? What’s strange?”
The Duchess preparing a meal herself? It was a bit surprising, but not entirely unreasonable. Cooking would be considered basic etiquette for a noblewoman. I carefully adjusted my expression and nodded.
“Oh… no. It’s fine. The kitchen.”
“Good. I understand. I’ll show off my skills after a long time. Just sit. I’ll be done quickly.”
She moved away, humming a tune, and I sat down feeling uneasy. I still hadn’t fully adapted. The Duchess personally cooking for her daughter. I didn’t know when reading the original, but entering the world myself revealed new aspects of the characters.
Even Elise, whom I thought was just a kind protagonist.
The Duchess, whom I considered one of the sources of malice.
Even Ellen, whom I thought was just an extra character. They were all different from my expectations. In typical transmigration stories, the protagonist usually knows everything and handles situations gracefully.
This world was unkind to the transmigrator.
I thought about this while watching the Duchess’s back.
“hehehehe~”
She continued humming, still moving. However, probably due to the unfamiliar room, she headed somewhere other than the kitchen. I chuckled a bit and called out to her.
“Mom. It’s not that way. The kitchen is next to it.”
“…”
But she ignored my words and continued toward a deep corridor. That was where my room and bathroom were. I called her again with a slightly anxious voice.
“Mom. That’s…”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
At that moment, the Duchess politely knocked on the door. Then, in her still affectionate voice, she said,
“Duchess. Miss Yuna is here.”
“What did you say?”
“Uh…?”
At that moment, my mouth hung open in bewilderment, forming a question mark. However, she still stood at the door, her waist bent as if waiting for someone. Soon, a slackening voice echoed from inside.
“Yeah. Got it. Step back.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
She once again lowered her head and pressed her body against the wall. It was a gesture reminiscent of a maid in some mansion. I stared at her with bewildered eyes, but she seemed uninterested in answering my questions. Soon, the door opened slowly, and someone’s footsteps touched the ground.
And then, the second Duchess revealed herself.
I blankly raised my head to face the second Duchess, who looked identical to the first in every way. They were so similar that one might mistake them for twins, but subtle differences could be observed. Slightly disheveled hair, a touchy attitude, a revealed neckline between loosened clothes. It was like seeing a model sister and a less virtuous younger one.
But in this situation, it was clear who my real mother was. However, I wanted to outright deny that possibility. The second Duchess, who had appeared second, showed talent more in sarcasm than in a warm smile. In the midst of my confusion, the second Duchess spoke with a sneer.
“Long time no see, our daughter.”