71 – Her Her (4)
From Noble mtl dot com
The sound of my pounding heart passed over the breakwater and surged through my heated mind. When I placed her clasped hands on her knees, I felt the salty texture as if her whole body had been dipped into sea water. The day she was probably executed. It felt like the tears that Yuna couldn’t shed were flowing from my hands instead.
“…”
I closed my mouth and looked around nervously. The duke and his wife, and even Eren, were looking at me with astonished expressions. It felt like I had never seen such a confused expression since playing rock-paper-scissors on the bed that day.
Was it too sudden? Feeling sorry, I held Ellen’s hand tightly for no reason.
Well…And although it’s a little selfish, I also thought it was fun without realizing it.
“Is this…Pregnancy?”
Even Ellen was in such a state, and the duke and his wife, who did not know the circumstances, could not have been in a good state. They just stared at my face without even having time to look at each other. It felt as if a thick layer of cold sweat was pouring down from the passing hour hand.
“…Yes. I’m pregnant.”
After a short period of time had passed, it was the Duke of Richmond who regained his composure first among the two. He cleared his throat and calmly opened his mouth.
“The birth of life is something that should be celebrated under any circumstances. Especially in our empire, which is protected by Ennessic, the goddess of life.”
“I thought your father would understand. Thank you, father.”
“But lying is a sin that cannot be forgiven under any circumstances, Yuna.”
A frighteningly cool-headed word struck me like a dagger. He admonished me as if he were scolding me in an extremely calm voice.
“If it is something related to life, it is an unforgivable sin. “If you were trying to shake my heart by making up a child who didn’t exist, I can’t possibly dismiss it as a simple prank.”
“Are you saying you don’t believe me?”
“How can this father believe a lie that even your lover cannot believe?”
As the Duke’s arrow headed towards him, Ellen’s hand on his stomach twitched slightly. The duke kept his eyes focused on his appearance and continued speaking.
“How can you pretend not to know when you are lying like that with your whole body? “Lies that are not elaborate are poisonous, Yuna.”
“I’m not lying, Dad.”
“Stop it. “There is nothing more ugly than sitting around holding on to something that has already been caught.”
“…”
I bit my lip at his words. No matter how hard I tried to shake him, his composure would not be shaken. He now seemed perfectly convinced that what I had said was a lie. Unlike the Duchess, who gets emotional when she digs into his weaknesses, the Duke is like a heavy shield with no cracks in sight.
…
But if I was going to give up like this, it would have been a lie that I would never have started in the first place.
“…It’s natural for Ellen to react like that, father.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, Ellen probably doesn’t know.”
I raised my head once again. And I looked at the duke as unwaveringly as possible.
“Ellen probably doesn’t know yet.”
“What is that…”
“At that time, I was sleeping so soundly.”
“Huh…?”
Ellen and the Duke looked at me at the same time at the words that felt somewhat realistic. Imagination stirred in the eyes of the two people and spread its wings. I opened my mouth again to blow a tailwind there.
“I’m sorry, Ellen. Hidden until now. But I couldn’t bear it.”
“What does that mean?”
“I know. “This should have been done when both of us had memories.”
“Remember…?”
Ellen quietly reflected on my words and was lost in thought. She is probably recalling memories from her past. She asked if she had lost consciousness recently. Has she ever been so soundly asleep that she couldn’t wake up no matter what happened? She will probably be able to find the right answer quickly without having to think for a long time.
Just once. There was a night like that.
The moment he realized that, astonishment beyond embarrassment began to spread across Ellen’s expression.
“Yuna you…!”
“Okay. It was then. I am so grateful and lovely that you did everything for me, but you were sleeping so defenseless. So I had no choice. And more than anything, back then I didn’t know when I would see you again. “At first, I started out just out of curiosity, but as time went on, I couldn’t control myself…!”
“Uh…Huh?”
Ellen now stuttered her words like a broken machine. Her stretched imagination seemed to tingle her whole body.
“Is it Yuna? “What is that…”
And the duke also looked at me with an equally perplexed expression. Cracks finally appeared on his face as well. I swallowed and opened my mouth to stick it in there.
“Now you know. What I’m saying is true. It’s just that Ellen doesn’t know yet. Of course it’s a shame. As a member of the duke family, doing something like that to an unconscious person…”
“Yu…Yuna, what are you saying to the Duke now…!”
At that time, the Duchess, who was in shock, spoke for the first time. When I heard her voice, I got excited without knowing and the words poured out uncontrollably.
“I’m telling you the truth, Mom. I love Ellen, who is here right now, so much that I wanted to hug her completely in my arms. “I wanted to have everything.”
“You…Yuna you…!”
“My mother said. I wonder if I may have been harmed by Ellen. But she’s actually the opposite. Rather, I…I…”
Now I couldn’t control myself either. Maybe that’s why the words I was trying to say fell apart and kept spinning around in my head. Meanwhile, the duchess’s vulgar words that I had heard earlier kept breaking into my sentences. But there was no more time to choose my words, so I finally opened my mouth.
“Well…So! “I want Ellen…!”
“You can’t quit!
“I attacked Ellen!!!”
“…”
“…”
“…”
My shameful words echoed throughout the mansion. Before I knew it, I was standing up with my fists clenched. Because the sound was made with such force, it was clear that Miss Guero and Illya, who were in the other room by now, had heard me. When I thought about that, the heat that had surged quickly disappeared and cool-headed thinking took over.
And then, belatedly, embarrassment also began to rush in like a tidal wave.
“Ah…Ah…”
I let out a groan so that the duke and his wife could not hear. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to just kick out the door.
But now was not the time, so I raised my head closely. Then the duke, who had lowered his head as if he was collapsing, opened his mouth quietly.
“Yuna.”
“…Yes.”
“Just calm down and take a seat.”
“Yes. Father.”
I sat down obediently to his words. Then the Duke spoke in a strangely calm voice.
“When did you first find out?”
“A while ago. I found out about Dalgeori because I couldn’t get it to start. And…I also had morning sickness.”
“Eren-kun, didn’t you know?”
“Yes. “It was completely hidden.”
“I see.”
The Duke calmly nodded. But Ellen was still confused. If she had thought about it a little, she would have known that morning sickness does not set in very quickly in pregnant women, and that she could not have realized she was pregnant in that short a time, but she seemed to have not yet regained her rational thinking.
Meanwhile, the Duke was still nodding his head, pondering my words. I couldn’t figure out what kind of thoughts were floating around in that mysterious expression. After thinking for a while, he finally slowly opened his stiff lips.
“…Okay.”
“…”
“Congratulations. “It’s Yuna.”
“Father…”
“As I said before, the birth of life is always a blessing. How can one say two things with just one mouth when it comes to the written doctrine? Congratulations. “With all my heart.”
After finishing speaking, there was even a faint smile. The Duke looked at me with a vague expression and smiled. Only then did the tension in my body gradually ease.
“W…What do you mean, Duke!”
But then the Duchess’ sharp voice intervened. She said with an excited expression, her lips falling.
“Congratulations. No matter how much it is the birth of life, are you going to bless that crazy girl who arbitrarily has a commoner’s child? “I could never do that.”
“Mother. Please…”
“Yuna, did you think I would just give up if I told you I was pregnant? You’re welcome. Just tear the kid to death and that’s enough. “Do you think anyone would care if at least one commoner’s child dies?”
“Mother!”
The Duchess jumped up from her seat again and grabbed the armrests of her sofa. But before that, the Duke of Richmond’s voice interrupted her.
“Stop it. Catherine.”
“Duke…!”
“How can we, who receive the protection of Ennessic, the goddess of life, say the word abortion so easily? No matter how much of a child you are in the womb, life is life. “Such language cannot be tolerated, even as a joke.”
“But Duke. But that doesn’t mean we can just let a commoner give birth to a child!”
“That doesn’t mean we can stop it. “If even a rumor spreads that our ducal family aborted a child, the family’s reputation will fall even further.”
“Then just don’t get caught!”
In the end, she stood up from her seat. And he glared at me like he was going to kill me right away.
“I can’t allow that child to give birth to a child like a commoner. Yuna. That child must bear the seed of the crown prince. There can be no room for disagreement here. Never!”
“…”
“The duke also agreed. Yuna is our last hope. This is our duke family’s last chance! But instead, you are going to provide a clue that will lead to the downfall of our family? Absolutely not! Never!”
“Mother. I am…”
“Yuna, you shut up! Still not sure? You are not just our daughter! Why don’t you know the weight you’re carrying? “Why on earth don’t you know that?”
“Mother please…”
“Okay. It doesn’t really matter anymore. No matter how you come out, whether you are pregnant or not, I will somehow make sure you give birth to the crown prince’s child. Somehow! Even if it means cutting off your limbs and putting them in the prince’s bedroom! Certainly!!!”
“…”
The Duchess’ last words echoed throughout the mansion, just like my false confession. Stubborn stubbornness. The fate that could not be reversed was still churning inside her. Even if the goddess came, it seemed like she wouldn’t be able to change her will.
At that moment, I looked at Ellen for no reason. Ellen also looked at me with her mouth closed. The face that was seriously thinking for me was so reassuring that I felt like a smile would bloom without me knowing.
No, maybe he actually laughed. I slowly stood up before the smile faded. And then, he approached the duchess.
“…”
The Duchess watched me approaching in silence. Before I knew it, I was within reach if I stretched out my hand. But she looked at me with a huff, without slapping my cheek or anything. Probably because the Duke is next to him. If I had something to say, now might be my last chance.
That’s why I took a breath that might be my last. And, I carefully expressed the thoughts I had been harboring all along.
“I’m sorry. Mother.”
“Are you asking for forgiveness now? It’s already too late. “You now…”
“I’m not asking for forgiveness for what I’ve done so far.”
“What?”
“I ask for your forgiveness for what I will say next.”
I looked up at her with her smile on her face. It was the first time in her entire life that she had seen her mother like this. That’s why I spread my closed heart like wings. Even though it was shabby and old, I didn’t want to hide it anymore.
“I know. How great is the responsibility I bear. My father was too old to continue working for the duchy, and my mother prepared me to fulfill her final responsibilities. Things I have enjoyed so far. The things I have. “All of that was actually done by my mother and father for me.”
“Then…!”
“But actually, there is. I have lost more than I have gained. My father also said this earlier. I am a prepared child. Just to build up the family. I was born to have the crown prince’s child, and I entered the academy for that purpose. All the things we did there. The times we spent. “It was all done for the family.”
I took a step back and got both the duchess and the duke into view. The Duke also raised his head and made eye contact with me.
“There is something really strange. For over ten years, I have only acted for the sake of my family. At some point, I suddenly started having those thoughts. No matter how much praise I hear from people around me, I’m not happy. But strangely enough, the idiot sitting next to me smiled as if he was happy no matter how much he failed or was scolded. At first I thought it was stupid. But as time goes by…”
“…”
“…Me too. “I started thinking that I wanted to be happy.”
I heard Eren flinch from behind. Just imagining what kind of expression you would make made me laugh.
“I wanted to be happy.”
“…”
“As a prepared child. I wanted to be happy, not just work hard for my family. “I wanted to be happy just as Yuna, not as Yuna Richmond, mother.”
“How dare you…”
“So just. “I decided to be happy.”
I took a step back again. Strangely, I felt at ease and the tension seemed to disappear in an instant.
From Noble mtl dot com
“As I said before, I didn’t come today to ask for permission. I just came to introduce you to Ellen. “As the last child, I have come to tell you who my spouse is.”
“You are the last child? What does that mean?”
“Actually, I came prepared to be expelled from the family today.”
“What…What?”
The Duchess stammered as if she couldn’t believe my declaration. Her attitude was as if she had never imagined that her daughter would rebel this much.
But from my perspective, it was something I said too late. Maybe, these words should have been said by Kim Yuna, not Yuna. That’s why I looked at her even more unwaveringly.
“I don’t care if her mother doesn’t allow us to get married. No, actually, it doesn’t matter if anyone doesn’t allow it. Even if my father, His Majesty the Emperor, the Goddess, and the entire world don’t allow it, I won’t care. So, let me say it again.”
With those words, I bowed my head to the Duke and Duchess with true sincerity. Then he stood up again and made eye contact without wavering.
“I’m sorry, Mom. Father.”
“…”
“I have already decided my fate. No one can change it now. Even if you two tear my body to shreds in anger right now, I won’t give up. Because.”
“Now, me. “Because I decided to be happy.”
The wings of my heart, barely stretched out, flapped and flew across the sky. As if relieving the sadness that had been trapped inside the chrysalis, pollen was scattered under the powerful wings. When I looked at it, it seemed so far and so close, like the sun tickling the tip of my nose, that I felt like I was going to sneeze without realizing it.
But I held back and looked at the duke’s face. My daughter’s sincerity, which I heard for the first time, seeped through my deepening wrinkles. His expression was still so mysterious that I couldn’t tell his true intentions.
Nevertheless, I still looked at him with a smile. When the Duke, who had been facing me so unwaveringly, nodded ever so slightly, I smiled brightly.
“Nonsense!”
But the Duchess screamed as if she still couldn’t admit it. The sight of him shaking his long hair like crazy made him look like he was no longer in his right mind.
“Do you think I will accept it? Do you think I will accept you for trying to run away so irresponsibly?”
“Catherine, stop now.”
“No. I can’t stop, Duke. Are you just going to watch me talk so arrogantly like that? I’ll never be able to do that!”
The Duchess no longer even wanted to listen to the Duke of Richmond. She gritted her teeth while standing and let out a maniacal laugh.
“Yes. It’s clear that you haven’t been scolded yet. You’ll probably need a shock like back then to come back to your senses, right?”
“…”
“Pretending to be calm. Do you think I can’t do it? I guess it’s been too long since you’ve tasted bitterness. If I beat that arrogant commoner to death right in front of you, you’ll probably come to your senses to some extent. Don’t you think?”
“Mother, stop it now.”
“Shut up! Shut up! I won’t listen to your bullsh*t anymore. Hey! Call the guards right now! Right now!!!”
“…!”
In an instant, the sound of dozens of footsteps began to shake the mansion as the landlady of the mansion shouted. It didn’t seem like even Eren would be able to deal with that number.
In the end, no matter what we do, we can’t convince the duchess.
She looked at the duke to see if he could find out, but he remained silent. I was just looking somewhere behind me. Before I could follow his gaze, wondering what he was looking at, the Duchess approached me, twisting her lips.
“I did really well today…!”
“Please stop, mother.”
At that moment, Ellen approached us and blocked us. Still, the Duchess let out her tantrum.
“Get out of the way!”
“Please stop now. You know now. Yuna will not listen to your wife anymore.”
“Shut up! I won’t let you use that arrogant mouth anymore!”
“…If you stop now, I can hug you again.”
“Ugh… Ugh. I told everyone to shut up!”
Ellen subtly tempted her, but the Duchess did not fall for it. Then Ellen glanced behind her and said.
“It doesn’t work?”
“Will that work now?”
“By any chance, is now the time to jump up and run away?”
“Yes. I think it’s that time.”
I smiled awkwardly. Ellen also smiled a little hesitantly. But there was no hesitation in her actions. As always, Ellen turned around and hugged my body with all her strength before I could react.
But that action did not lead to the next moment.
“…?”
I was waiting with my eyes tightly closed and tilted my head in doubt. I glanced up and saw Ellen looking behind me with a puzzled expression. Naturally, I also turned my head back to follow his gaze.
And I also made a ridiculous expression.
There was a girl standing there who shouldn’t have been there. The girl looked around with curious eyes as always and then made eye contact with me. I didn’t bother to call her name. Because I know you won’t hear it anyway.
“…”
The girl looked at me, giggled, and poked my cheek with her finger. In the past, I wouldn’t have been able to understand what was being said, but now I felt like I could roughly read the deaf girl’s mind. She looked at me intently without erasing the smile from her lips.
‘I. Came. Yuna.’