The Regressor and the Blind Saint chapter 115

The moment Renee asked questions, the first thing Vera thought of was, ‘It’s coming.’

It’s because Renee’s heart and me who said those words already knew everything about it.

That’s right, wasn’t it too blatant? The signals and emotions that Renee was sending him seldom thought of hiding themselves.

I knew it, but I ignored it.

Because it was not considered right to respond to it, and I didn’t know how it would affect René.

They turned away and turned away and looked away with so much effort, but they were appearing in front of their eyes in an unavoidable form.

Vera felt sorrow inside.

“Lady… .”

“Tell me.”

Renee’s face turned red. The heat passed through the palm of his hand to Vera.

There was an answer that I was trying to come out without knowing.

But before the answer was complete, Vera scattered the sentences that came to mind.

‘… You must refuse.’

It had to be. He could have had a bad influence on Renee. It means that the light may no longer be able to illuminate itself and illuminate the world.

Vera licked his lips with a wretched look on his face.

… However, no words came out.

Reason and sensibility are based on different judgments, because the values they think are right are different, and because Vera has always been a human being who has always put greed ahead of time.

Vera could not contain his emotions with rational judgment.

So, I started to spit out the words that I couldn’t get out of my head for a long time.

“… I am a man of evil thoughts.”

“Are you talking about that again?”

“Listen.”

Renee’s lips clenched tight. Vera took a deep breath looking at it, then continued.

“We value efficiency in getting things done. There is no morality in its effectiveness. So, when faced with a job, the first thing that comes to mind is violence as a way to solve the problem in front of me.”

“Vera didn’t.”

“Yeah, it didn’t happen after all. To be precise, I haven’t done anything like that since I met St.

It was a story about inner fear.

“Now that I know it’s not right, I think of it, but I don’t put it into practice. However, that doesn’t mean that my thoughts are gone. It does not mean that the human nature of considering the evil first is not lost.”

Vera knew himself well.

He was a man who knew how ugly he could become, and how deep and gloomy the bottom was.

He was a man who knew how to fear.

“I have fear. Maybe one day I will surrender myself to this evil thought without even knowing it. Is it not true that what he did after judging that he was not evil is actually an act of evil? Because of that fear, I have to suppress my emotions.”

Because he was so ugly that he made emotional judgments, he was a human who couldn’t tell the difference between good and evil, so he needed a universal good and an embodiment of that good.

He was a human who had to entrust his judgment to that incarnation.

“So I don’t want the saint to have my color on it. I don’t want to reveal what’s in it, because I don’t want this evil thought to move away, and I don’t want the saint to mistake this evil for good.”

Renee felt the sincerity in Vera’s tone as he spoke.

I felt sad about it.

“… Everyone has bad thoughts. Do you practice it or not? That’s what’s important.”

“I can’t.”

Vera dismissed Renee’s words at once.

“What I want is to become a person who can think good, and to be the first person to think of good when faced with a job. I must not do that.”

Vera bowed his head.

“… Please do not put me to the test.”

The long words of refusal ended with such earnest pleas.

Renee felt the heat that had enveloped her until then disappeared.

The earnestness felt in those words, and also the excitement that lies within the sadness, began to suffocate.

Renee felt like she was about to burst into tears, and she couldn’t quite admit the situation, so she rebutted it.

“I don’t get stained that easily.”

It was the best of my heart. It was a heart that I held in my arms for so long.

I didn’t want to back off.

“If Vera has a bad idea, I can give him a pinch. If we get to know each other better, that could be the case. But why does Vera only think I’m going to be tainted by Vera?”

It was a word that did it like a follow-up.

returned answer.

“… Because she is still too young.”

It was like a sharp dagger.

young.

Renee felt nauseous as he was uncovering a question he hadn’t thought deeply about because that word meant too much, and which he had put off because he couldn’t answer it right away.

Renee’s expression wrinkled. A tingling pain came up from biting my lips to the point of making a squeaky sound.

Renee opened her mouth, pouring out her raging emotions.

“… Compared to whom?”

Knock-!

Vera’s hand on his cheek flinched. At that, Renee could recall belated convictions.

‘… It was the past.’

What Orgus showed was the past. All the squeezing cries he had ever seen had already happened to the man Vera so cherished.

… Once upon a time Vera’s light was elsewhere.

“Who is Vera looking at?”

The voice trembled.

He dropped the hand that had been on his cheek the whole time.

“What are you seeing through me?”

An indescribable sadness tore apart the excitement and took its place.

I don’t know the full causality, but there were things I could know nonetheless.

The reason why Vera was so devoted to him from the moment we first met.

That is because there was something Vera was trying to see through himself, through the name of the saint.

That Vera already knew his heart and turned away.

“… Are you looking at me?”

Renee overlaid his anger over his sadness.

Vera, who didn’t respond, hated him so much that he spit out words filled with anger.

“Vera.”

“… Yes.”

“Answer me.”

Vera felt his heart pound at the sudden words. What does Renee know? What are you talking about now?

Because all of that was terrifying.

Vera barely uttered those words, with a confused look on his face, and with his head down, impatient at the prompting for an answer.

“… I am watching.”

He answered as if he was trying to escape the immediate task, like a child who was offended by his mother.

“I… I am looking at the saint.”

It was a trembling voice.

From https://noblemtl.com

Of course, because it was Renee and no one else, I was able to grasp the clumsiness felt in that trembling.

“… Vera is such a bad person.”

A tear fell from Renee’s eyes. Vera’s eyes widened as he raised his head belatedly.

“castle… .”

“You know what? I feel so good right now that Vera is lying.”

Renee spoke out in a tone filled with anger.

“Vera just didn’t look at me. From the moment I said who I was looking, Vera’s gaze shifted elsewhere.”

cheep. movement. beat. I was sure of it because I knew it all.

Shortly after speaking, Renee felt a bitter taste start to emerge from her lips, which she had unknowingly chewed.

it’s probably torn I’ll avoid this bitter taste.

“It was three and a half years.”

It was right to take action, but Renee spoke before that.

“It’s been such a long time since I’ve liked Vera. Ever since we first met, I’ve been Vera.”

Because there was something I wanted to convey.

“Even if Vera looked at me as a child and pretended not to know. I found out about it, but still… .”

Even in the midst of being so terribly broken, Renee did not stop because there was still a desire to hold onto Renee.

“… I will always be Vera.”

just expressed my heart.

The first place Vera looked at was different, but it’s never going to be different. Vera’s beat, the heat, and the time I spent with him didn’t lie.

Then you shouldn’t give up.

I will not do anything to sit down in despair. Having made such a decision, Renee couldn’t back down at that level of rejection.

arms outstretched Luckily Renee was able to grab Vera because he was so close.

Putting both hands on Vera’s cheek, Renee said.

“Then look at me. Because you have such a dazzling light. Because your light wants you. Look at me.”

poked his head So that Vera’s vision was full of himself, that he could not see everything but himself.

Vera’s startled movements were felt. I felt my cheeks burning.

“Look at Ren, who is not a saint, not an apostle of the Lord.”

He said from a distance between the tip of his nose.

“And answer me again.”

Because he knows Vera is thrilled with him.

“Do you love me?”

I was forced to wear the mask of a question.

What followed was silence.

Renee knew.

Vera will not answer. Even though he is excited about himself, he will turn away from it.

Vera himself confessed the reason, and he explained it with a truly Vera-like reason.

Renee could understand that.

However, that did not mean retreating.

After three and a half years of waiting, the thirst that had been fueled by that had already reached a point where he could no longer stand it.

Renee’s head moved forward a little.

The head was bent to the side.

They pressed their lips together to make a ‘powder’ sound.

For a brief moment, his breathing became entangled. The saliva flowed slowly. It tasted like blood.

And an exhilarating sensation, as if they were all nothing, ran up my spine.

I felt Vera hardened like a stone with my fingertips.

“Fhh… .”

Renee opened the distance again just enough to make his lips fall apart, and vomited into Vera’s lips.

“… You wouldn’t answer? So I did it my way.”

It was as if he was going to smash all his intentions into Vera’s heart.

coerced

“Vera turned it down, so I’ll do it my way. Did I mention that I might be tainted by Vera because I’m too young? Then you can do this.”

He said, raising the corners of his mouth arrogantly, as if to put it somewhere.

“I’m going to paint Vera my color. You’ll make Vera a fool. Evil thoughts and good thoughts, there is no time to do anything, I will just make you think of my own thoughts.”

Vera’s pupils trembled.

“Lady… .”

The moment he was about to answer, Renee kissed him again.

Breathing was entangled again. Vera felt it burn his whole body. It felt like the accident was far away and only instinct was left in its place.

I felt the fear that had been lingering inside me all the time.

The moment it grew into an unbearable size, Renee parted her lips.

“… Don’t argue. Don’t even refuse. I’ll be waiting for you in particular. I won’t talk about this again until Vera tells me he loves me.”

Renee is breathing in a hurry, in the midst of being so cold, with a body that is hot as if it is sweating, while she is dizzy from drunkenness.

He made a declaration that he would never give up.

“Instead, Vera will make you sick if you don’t say it. They’ll kiss you, hug you, or say embarrassing things like this. If you don’t like it, just say I love you.”

Renee thought.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll tear the blankets out of real shame.

These are words that are half-drunk, so surely they will.

However, I wouldn’t regret it.

“If you really want me to be a shining light, I just nod my head. Because your light needs you. Because it needs you to be complete. Because that kind of light is commanding you now.”

The future I decided for myself was Vera, the reason for wanting to be a brilliant light, the reason to go out into the world, and the reason to love myself and love others was all because of Vera.

“And don’t even think about saying the same thing. I am not a child. You’re not the one to take care of. Good or bad, I can judge for myself.”

As Vera was the reason I was going all the way, I wouldn’t regret it.

“Quick, nod.”

urged again. Rene smiled as Vera flinched again at it and began to nod very slowly.

“Well done.”

Renee stroked Vera’s cheek. Then he hugged Vera.

“Don’t say that you’re young again.”

I put it in my arms and whispered so. It kept getting caught while I was pouring it out, and he said in annoyance.

“Because I think Vera is a lot more childish.”

The past didn’t matter anyway. It was and will always be by Vera’s side now. After all, Vera will own it.

Renee hugged Vera as hard as she could, so that he couldn’t go anywhere, only his own scent could be absorbed by Vera.

“Because the light of Vera is already bright enough to move on on its own. Don’t worry about that.”

It was a rebuke to Vera, a rebuke to himself.

It was a promise not to fall, and it was a determination to win him.

Very small terrace.

Renee hugged Vera in the sweltering cold and stroked the back of Vera’s head as if to show off her adulthood.

It would have been nice to see it as a kind of ritual.

If you ask what the ritual is for, Renee will answer.

It is a ceremony to reaffirm the determination to not wait any longer and move on to achieve it.

I swear I’ll give my all to have him.

What I do for him, it’s a little early for me alone, and at the same time, it’s s*xual recognition.