17 episodes
While trying to take a selfie, I felt like I was going to vomit just looking at the camera lens, so I finally put my phone down on the coffee table and stared into the lens.
Yang Yi-hyung, who had been doing that for hours, drank an energy drink and said.
“I should have bet something else, why would a beggar bet a million won?”
“Because you don’t have money, you have to bet money to make it harder.”
“Do you want to live your life like that?”
“Oh, it’s thrilling.”
“If I looked like you, I would never live like that.”
Five.
I guess I’m in good shape these days. I feel like I often get compliments on my looks.
I don’t think my looks are bad either. However, I don’t think that’s the level of being an idol.
More than anything else, I’ve been told too often that my eyes are strong throughout Kuk Seon-ah’s activities. Not only the comments but also the staff and other trainees heard it quite often, so I seriously thought about getting plastic surgery. That’s when I realized how disgusting I was with people.
Even now, if I search for my name in a portal window, this question message appears on the first screen.
[Kook Seon-ah, is there any way to cut out the part where Jung Hae-won appears? Every time I see it, I get so annoyed.]
Two years ago, I had read all of those articles. I don’t know why.
[Jeong Hae-won 1st to 5th Inseong case summary.txt]
[↳ Our Jiho is so pitiful ㅠㅠ He had to take care of such personality trash… … .]
[↳Did you see this week’s national hatred when fighting Min Ji-ho?
[The more I look at ↳↳, the more I look crazy]
[Suddenly, I thought of Jung Hae-won, what are you doing these days?]
[↳ Thinking about it, I have tantrums again after a while hahahaahaha
[↳ Still, Jung Hae-won carried the ratings]
[↳↳It was fun, but I remember being very stressed while following Kook Seon-ah hahahaaha
[↳ I don’t think I’m even going to be in the entertainment industry]
[↳ But it’s a small piece that I can’t understand with the general mindset hahahaahaha]
[↳↳Is it possible to live a daily life with that personality?]
[↳↳Usually you are fine and only the people around you are affected]
[There is a reason why adults hate strong impressions]
[↳ Admiration = Science^^]
[↳Your eyes feel so bad ㅠㅠ]
[↳↳I am not a national hater for nothing]
Hey, nickname scale. national unit. When I think about it that way, it has some sort of impact.
Anyway, the stress on my appearance was the biggest reason that kept me from showing my face and taking pictures.
Whether it’s plastic surgery or a tight combination of makeup + lenses, how can it not be hidden?
After thinking positively, I finally picked up the camera.
Still, after staring at it for a few hours, I got used to it. In almost five hours I managed to take a selfie.
As soon as I finished taking my selfie, Yang Yi-hyung called me.
“If you do, come quickly.”
I grabbed the stool next to Yang Yi-hyung and sat down. And I listened to the song that Yang Yi-hyung was working on. It was an arrangement for a contest by a boy group in their 14th year.
read at https://noblemtl.com
Obviously, they were professionals with 14 years of experience, so the requirements were detailed and accurate. I said looking at the notes left by the members.
“A real pro.”
“All the long-lived kids have a reason. Listen to this.”
And then they start eating me right away. Yang hyung helped me with ‘Turn on the Light’, so this time it’s my turn to help.
It’s a very difficult time to compose without a team, and I think that team work really needs to fit well. In that sense, I got along well with Yang Yi-hyung.
They both say everything they want to each other and then compromise. It would be ridiculous if there were strong opinions and if the evidence was too clear for both, it would be ridiculous, but we decided on rock-paper-scissors. And if I lost there, I accepted it without saying a word.
While I was working, I looked at my phone and saw that Hwang Sae-byeok had a call.
[Do you have a million won?]
When I quickly looked at my phone, it was 9pm.
As I promised, just as I picked up my phone to shoot a one-minute video, Ji-Woon Shin came into the filming set after the filming was over.
I asked.
“Why are you here?”
“Before practice starts, I want to have a late-night snack, but I don’t have anyone to eat with.”
“Didn’t you have dinner today?”
“Go-going is going home.”
Shin Ji-woon said and shrugged. I looked at Yang Yi-hyung because I was getting hungry too.
“Brother, it’s me.”
“Brother, I’m a high school student.”
Shin Ji-woon also added. Yang Yi-hyung said with a look of wanting to take a double bath.
“Isn’t the company buying you?”
“I don’t buy expensive things. We are not that popular.”
Yangi-hyung finally turned on the delivery app to see if he could get food from beggars and high school students.
While waiting for a late-night meal, I held out my camera to Shin Ji-woon.
“Take a picture of me. More than a minute.”
“Ugh.”
Shin Ji-woon pretended to be cute again and picked up the phone.
I got used to the camera because I was holding it all day today, but my mouth didn’t fall off. So Yang Yi-hyung said as the studio became quiet.
“Then take a picture of him, and I’ll tell you.”
The music that Yang Yi-hyung played was ‘If I Become a Star’, a song that Yang Yi-hyung composed for a team assignment with Kook Seon-ah. Shin Ji-woon said excitedly.
“Uh, hyung, I really like this song.”
“It’s a song I cherish a lot.”
Yang replied.
When I heard the song, I remembered the time of Guk Seon-ah. It was a song that I stayed up all night to re-record this song while I was afraid of being cursed.
Coincidentally, the members who sang this song at this time were me and the six First Light members.
When I was listening to a song while thinking about Guk Seon-ah, Yang Yi-hyung said to Shin Ji-woon.
“You know that the first public version you heard of this is completely different from the final version, right?”
“I know.”
“Your group all came to the studio when this was first released. At that time, all of you were gone and only iron was left, but he said that. I love this song.”
Yang-hyung remembered every word I said, whether I was a little pitiful that day.
“When they asked me what aspect I liked, they said it was pretty and sad. It is said that if you just listen, the sadness you have will look pretty and you will feel better. It’s a real 18-year-old feeling.”
I didn’t know you said it so succinctly. hahahaaha.
An 18-year-old came and frowned like that, so I’ll just remember it from an adult’s point of view.
Yang Yi-hyung continued.
“At first, the lyrics were just like this, if I became a star, I could do anything to you or do anything. But that’s what Cheol does that day. I wish the star that came out here was the North Star. So, when I asked why, he said he wanted people’s love to be as stable as a star that doesn’t move like this. When I heard that, I said, oh, he’s having a really hard time. And then I went straight to the lyrics and everything and repaired everything. If it hadn’t been corrected then, honestly, the response wouldn’t have been this good. Cheol looked great.”
[I love you, I love you, I will be your star. Whenever I miss you, I’ll be there wherever you can find it. Like the North Star here and here. I will love you in any season. I love you, I love you, I will be your star.]
It said that no matter how far away I went, I would stay in one place and continue to love.
Listening to it, I remember the overwhelming feeling when I was recording that song.
In the first broadcast, the image was still quite good, but the reaction gradually deteriorated. It was when my fans, the people I thought would be on my side, turned away that hit me harder than the people who hated me from the beginning.
Fans and idols are one set.
If I want to dance and sing by myself, it doesn’t matter if it’s not on stage. I want even one person to stand on stage, so I want someone to look at me. I don’t think there is any other reason other than that.
It sounds stupid, but I still have that thought.
They said they didn’t want to become a disciple, money, or other reasons, but the biggest thing is that they want to stand on stage. I decided to join because I wanted someone to like my stage and music.
What. If the fans hate it so badly, then I can just give up.
I don’t want to think about what happened when the joining was canceled.
Who acts to fail, who tries to succeed.
I decided to put off negative thoughts for a while.
At that time, Shin Ji-woon said as he finished filming.
“3 minutes and 36 seconds. I shot just the length of the song.”
“Oh, hey, I forgot I was taking a picture. A million won was hardened.”
The late night snack arrived just in time, and I didn’t even check the video, so I sent it to Hwang Sae-byeok.
* * *
read at https://noblemtl.com
Of course, the reaction of First Light fans to the recruitment of new members was not good. All the members were running X-Star accounts, and their recent posts were all full of worrying comments.
Hwang Sae-byeok visited the president’s office for the first time after almost debut, representing the members who were worried about the comments. President Park Hee-taek complained as if he had just arrived.
“Chul-i suddenly decided to join the group.”
“yes. I’m here to talk about it. Are you really sure you’re joining? I’m worried that if the kids don’t react well, it’ll be canceled.”
Jung Hae-won didn’t seem to have said that if the reaction was too bad, the joining could be canceled.
President Park Hee-taek answered calmly.
“Certainly not. I have everything ready.”
So Hwang Sae-byeok was relieved and sighed. President Park Hee-taek continued.
“By the way, I don’t know why he suddenly changed his mind, he said it was because of money.”
“Do you have money?”
When Hwang Sae-byeok heard that, he laughed out loud. President Park Hee-taek asked.
“Why are you laughing?”
“If you ask Haewon to choose between 10 billion won and the stage, he will choose the stage.”
“… … .”
“It’s all bullshit. The fact that Jung Hae-won said that he would be a manager, and that he is doing this since he came here, is because he wants to go up on stage. He’s doing hickey because it’s painful not being able to go on stage, and he composes music because of the stage. Dancing, singing, and playing instruments are all because I want to go on stage. No matter what he does, his goal is to be on stage and to meet his fans there.”
Park Hee-taek, president of the company, jokingly hinted at it.
“How about the stage with the first group?”
At that joke, Hwang Sae-byeok didn’t even smile politely and was sympathetic. Then he answered.
“He just has different values. Whether it’s 1 trillion or 100 trillion, why do you need money, you can’t perform on stage.”
“He’s crazy.”
President Park Hee-taek spoke out what he was really worried about.
“If you jump off a roof somewhere because you can’t stand the pressure, you’re in big trouble. That’s what I’m worried about.”
“I don’t die.”
Hwang Sae-byeok said with a tired expression as always.
“If Jeong Hae-won jumps off the roof, it’s not because the stage is scary, but because there is no stage to stand on.”
President Park Hee-taek nodded. Stork Dawn said.
“If he is there, it just gets dyed next to him. get swept away Influenced by it, we decide to live and die together. To be honest, didn’t Jung Hae-won have an uncompromising influence on her being insulted? … Never do it Once I understand why, I can’t curse that much.”
“… … .”
“Once you know, the fans will understand. I’ve seen a lot of our fans crowding around in groups of seven during Kook Seon-ah… … .”
Hwang Sae-byeok, who was trying hard to explain all of his social skills for fear that his joining First Light would be canceled, asked President Park Hee-taek for his understanding when his cell phone rang and checked the video sent by Jung Hae-won.
The video was filming Jung Hae-won, but Yang Yi-hyung’s voice was heard.
[Oh, he said it was very difficult. And I went straight to editing the lyrics.]
As soon as Hwang Sae-byeok saw it, he immediately handed it to CEO Park Hee-taek. President Park Hee-taek said while watching the video.
“Do you have a behind-the-scenes look like this? If you solve this later, the reaction will be fine.”
“Yes?”
“No.”
President Park Hee-taek laughed and then changed his words.
“What are you going to do later? Let’s solve it right away.”