Extra Chapter. With the mind that it’s the last night
It was early in the morning one day.
Waking up midway from sleep, Emilia hurriedly checked the seat next to the bed.
The figure of a lover who faintly breathes and sleeps soundly. Only then did I feel relieved and lay down on the bed again.
Would you like to spend a cold dawn like this today?
As the number of days I spent the night with open eyes increased, the number of days I naturally took a nap also increased one after another.
A while ago, Ludwig worried about his body condition in a friendly voice, saying that he seems to have been sleeping a lot lately, but she dismissed it as no effort and hid it.
How long will these days last?
at least it won’t be long
Emilia was no fool. He knew better than anyone else that there was no guarantee that the situation would get better by hiding it without telling him.
But the reaction he would show when I told him this was more frightening than anything.
“Ludwig… … .”
I carefully kept his name in my mouth so he wouldn’t wake up.
Even when he fell asleep, when we talked together, and when we spent the first night together, the lump that appeared on his head had disappeared before he knew it.
Emilia unconsciously reached out her hand over his head, but all she could get was the cold morning air.
‘It was from that day.’
It must have happened on the day he met Sophia again.
It was a day no different than usual, and to satisfy Sophia’s curiosity, I picked up a wooden sword for the daily sparring.
Although his swordsmanship had recently risen, Emilia was confident that she would never lose.
It was because she had accumulated time and she had a talent that was not envied.
‘What was it?’
But something was strange that day.
In the middle of the sparring, his attack suddenly came in as usual.
It was a car that I thought I was perfectly aiming for a minute gap while the battle continued after cutting it out.
As if someone invisible was pulling his hand from the side, the arm moved and cut away her sword.
The result is her defeat.
However, that was not the only thing that was strange.
‘It’s faded since then.’
Like everyone else, the lump was always floating on top of Ludwig’s head.
However, right after the match was over, it started flickering like a lamp that had run out of life.
After spending the first night with him like that, the next morning when I met him, he soon disappeared into pure white.
It must have been after that.
The reason why she inadvertently followed Ludwig’s head with her eyes more often.
Each time, his lover responded casually, asking if he had anything on his face, but Emilia laughed and apologized to him, saying it was nothing.
‘Why has it changed so much?’
If it had been her before, it might have been rather welcome.
When I had to visit Goddess Hypresia, I was busy asking questions in front of the goddess statue several times.
Why did you curse me like this? Why did I have to go through such an ordeal?
It was not her part-time job to feel the feelings of others she did not want to see or hear.
However, when human beings change their position and situation, there is a time to change what they said.
That was exactly the case with her.
His core, which whispered love to her every morning when he met her, always shone brilliantly.
That glow was a symbol of truth. And it was also a proof that he was a special existence to himself. It was like a compass of sorts to her.
If you follow it, there is always light at the end.
Although it may be small, that warmth warmly embraced Emilia’s heart.
However, the light disappeared, and the milestone disappeared, and she fell into even greater confusion.
‘If you disappear… … .’
There is no such thing as eternity in the world.
It was one of Emilia’s tenets, everything has an end and she never believed in eternity.
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Just one thing, it wasn’t as much as what a man named Ludwig Ipretz had said.
Every time he whispered of eternal love, he regarded the brilliance that flashed as a symbol that this person would stay by his side forever.
The light that the one who crawled out of the dirt pit barely greeted is a precious existence that can never be lost again.
That’s why she also got a lover named Ludwig, and never thought of life without him by her side. no, i didn’t think
For the eternity he promised always shone with brilliance.
‘If you knew me like this, you’d despise me, right? Ludwig.’
He also knew that there was someone who would care for him more than he did, and he knew that he was a waste of time to stay by his side.
However, because he said he loved him, he believed that his words were permission and stayed by his side with his face covered.
However, as of now, there was nothing to prove her relationship with him.
It started with a little anxiety.
Anxiety welled up one morning when he was late to meet him in the garden as usual.
He got up from his seat and tried to search all over the mansion, but luckily he was lying in his room because he overslept for a while.
You didn’t leave me Upon realizing this, he sat down and shuddered at his own stupidity and weakness.
I told myself that this shouldn’t be the case.
But the only thing that came back was the question of himself that was inside.
‘Can we go back to the days without him?’.
He made no reply. no, that would have been impossible.
If he affirmed, it seemed that the questioning voice would take him away at any moment.
If he denied it, it seemed that he would have to stay there forever, plunging himself into the bottom of the abyss.
“no no… … !”
The future that couldn’t be with you, the past that couldn’t be with you.
It would all be just terrible memories for me.
So I couldn’t say anything to him.
If you come to know my ugly insides like this, then I feel like you will disappear forever before my eyes.
If I’d rather remain weak like this, wouldn’t the kind you always protect me?
Whenever such antinomic thoughts disturbed my mind, I felt sick to my stomach.
I wrote down my inner feelings in my diary and apologized to him every day in an invisible place.
Maybe that’s why when my father brought up the story of the wedding, I was happy as if I had accomplished everything.
Wouldn’t it be less likely that you would leave me if it became a formal marriage relationship instead of an engagement relationship?
After that, the inner me kept talking to me.
Hide a little more. Even if he said that he would only pay for the wedding, it would not be too late. that he would accept all of me.
That ugly and dirty existence was so powerful that I couldn’t cut it with the swordsmanship I had learned.
The guy whispered without leaving his head all day.
‘But now… That shouldn’t be the case.’
It was under the assumption that Ludwig did not notice his condition at all.
Who wants to make a lifelong bond with a nuisance woman who trembles with anxiety whenever he is not around and lives only by keeping him in sight?
It’s not that people are good, they’re stupid. At least Emilia thought so.
“Ludwig, Ludwig… … .”
Maybe this will be the last time, so I call his name anxiously.
When this dawn passes and tomorrow morning is bright.
Even then, if you lay by my side and watch over me like you do now.
I will definitely tell you Even if the light I’ve been chasing so far disappears.
i asked you to be a place for me to return to.
Even if I had to break the promise I made with my own hands, you shouldn’t be around a girl like me.
Even if I return to the world that lied to me, being buried again in that dirt pit.
‘It’s warm.’
Maybe this will be the last time, so I hold his sleeping hand carefully.
You melted my heart with these hands.
You stroked my hair with these hands, caressed my back, and patted my shoulders.
The world without this warmth must surely be cold. It will be fine though.
Because I had a colder life in the days when I didn’t know you.
The winter that will come again after spring will be a little warmer than before.
After that action, Emilia gently closed her eyes.
Somehow, my heart felt lighter than before.
Did they say that there is nothing to fear from a person who puts everything down? It was just like that now.
The flowing tears moistened the pillow, but I didn’t care.
Still, I can sleep well tonight.
If it was like before, I would have had to think about how to excuse my swollen eyes after spending the night in tears. You won’t have to do that now.
You won’t have to ask for eternity in the love you whispered anymore.
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Just one day, even just one day tomorrow. May I remain the woman you love.