52 – The Meaning of Living
While Tina joyfully engaged in a snowball fight at the training ground, I went to find Elysia to have a conversation.
Elysia was in the midst of being adorned by the maids, and it was almost finished. So, as soon as I faced her, I approached closely.
“Elysia.”
“Harte?”
“First, put this on, then we can talk.”
I immediately draped the shoulder-loving on Elphesia. I hadn’t originally carried it with the intention of wearing it. I just wanted to cover the side slit of Elphesia’s thigh, which was as consistent as ever today.
“Phew! This should put your mind at ease.”
“What kind of ease is that? It’s hot indoors!”
“The corridor is cold. I was worried about Elphesia.”
“Cold? Really… ugh.”
Unlike the bewildered Elphesia, the maids were innocent. From their perspective, I was the epitome of a loving and considerate husband.
“My lord always prioritizes the lady.”
“Why are you so kind…”
“The Duchess is the same, and those who grew up in the temple are all good people.”
My shoulders rise so high that they could press on the trapezius muscles. Whatever the intention, praise has a way of making even a whale dance the waltz.
“So, what brings you all the way here?”
“Do I need a specific reason?”
“…”
“Elphesia?”
Elphesia, who had briefly closed her mouth, mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
“It’s not anything specific…”
“Alright then.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Whenever Elphesia showed her honest side, it somehow made me feel good. Yes, I want to see a transparent heart more than transparent thighs. Definitely…!
“In fact, it sounds ridiculous to say it like this… but it’s true that I came because I have something to discuss.”
“Something to discuss?”
“Yeah.”
On a snowy day, she usually didn’t want to go outside, but today was different. There was a reason to willingly venture outside.
“Let’s go on an outing, Elphesia.”
“Isn’t it not suitable weather for an outing? Are you talking about the year-end party?”
“No way.”
It was natural for her to misunderstand. She had already received over five party invitations from various places. Many mansions were hosting parties to celebrate the new year. But unless something special happened, he had no intention of accepting any invitations.
“It’s almost New Year’s. It’s a rare occasion, so I thought I could take you to an incredibly popular place.”
“A popular place?”
“Yeah. It’s something that wouldn’t be possible without me.”
“That… piqued my interest a little.”
Elphesia showed a hint of excitement. So I began to babble about the plan I had in mind.
“You know about the bells that ring in the capital’s temple to announce the New Year, right?”
“Not many people don’t know.”
How about watching it from the VIP seats? It’s a rare occasion, so I’ll even bring Julian along. Coincidentally, Echo is also staying at the temple…”
“That doesn’t sound bad. But what do you mean by VIP seats? You know that people gather in front of the temple at midnight, right?”
“There’s a pond that only people with a baptismal name and a few high-ranking priests can enter. The sunrise there is incredibly beautiful, you know? We’ll listen to the New Year’s bells, spend some time at the temple, and then come back as nobles.”
Elphesia listened silently, nodding her head. From her reaction, it seemed like a decent plan in her own emotional way.
“But won’t Julian be busy?”
“Well, considering how busy that guy is. Let me ask first.”
“Even if you send a letter, the reply will come tomorrow.”
“Well, you can just ask in person if you want.”
As soon as I finished speaking, a sacred aura manifested. Then, golden particles floated around like fireflies, signaling the miraculous prelude.
Swoosh.
The space was unveiled like a curtain. Surprisingly, the seemingly empty air became a passage connecting to another space. Right now, in front of me, Urien was seen having a meeting with people, as if reflected in a mirror.
Thunk!
At that moment, on the other side, the nobles connected to the linked space were thrown into chaos.
“What, what is that…!”
“M-Magic!”
“Calm down! Isn’t that Lady Harte Kyungso Luminael?!”
Looking at the turbulent scene on the other side, it seemed like they had seriously mistimed their actions. I scratched the back of my head and chuckled softly.
“Well, what do you want, Headmaster?”
“Uh… Have you been quite busy?”
“… As you can see.”
Urien replied in a tone that seemed to say, “Can’t you figure that out by looking?”
“Are you planning to stay busy in the future too?”
“I don’t know what’s ahead, but if the Headmaster makes time, I’ll make time too.”
“That’s fortunate. We were thinking of organizing a celebration party for those with shared academic, professional, and family ties.”
“Well, none of the three of us match that description, but…?”
“Nursery is also Hakyun.”
“…”
He stated an indisputable fact, but Yuri’s face sank. But now, I know Yuri well. Regardless of whether his face sours, he does what needs to be done.
“So, are you coming? Will you speak?”
“…… I’ll go.”
“Well then.”
That’s exactly how it is. He’s happy to be invited. Anyway, he looks a lot like Elficia.
“Somehow, the director’s expression seems really unpleasant. Rather, I hope he doesn’t use miracles for such useless things.”
“The New Year’s gathering is a significant event. If you start campaigning, Papa will be very sad, as it’s already the eleventh time.”
“Ugh! Can’t you leave right now?”
Paat!
Unable to endure, Yuri soaked the space. In that completely blocked space, I conveyed the result to Elficia with a triumphant look.
“As you can see, Yuri is also participating. The remaining meetings that are eagerly anticipated may not be going well either.”
“It’s a bit strange to say this, but you really use sanctity in such useless places. You’re not the type of person who does that recklessly.”
“Well, that’s true, but…”
Elficia’s point is valid. Sanctity should only be used after careful consideration in truly unavoidable situations. Using it just for convenience is an act far removed from virtue.
Despite knowing all this, I unnecessarily caused a miracle. At least for me, it was worth it.
“I wanted to spend New Year’s with the family that first appeared together, the first family I ever had.”
“…”
“While people visit temples with their families every year to welcome the New Year… it was an unfamiliar experience for me, who lived in a temple.”
Originally, I considered it a luxury.
Because my inherent value was solely about overcoming crises of extinction and preserving existence.
But since the day I decided to leave the temple, my perspective changed.
A lifetime of fulfilling my mission resulted in a death whose cause I didn’t even understand. Beyond the absurdity, it was an opportunity to reconsider the value of my existence.
Could there be a different value for me? Is it not right to now search for at least one value worth sacrificing for?
When my thoughts reached that point, I recalled the words spoken by the former Pope.
[Indeed, it might be good for Harte to go outside and experience life. It’s not something that should be done, but I sincerely contemplate it.]
At that time, I resolved to follow those words. Unlike the cramped temple, I believed I could find the value of existence outside…
However, the outside world was a living hell, contrary to expectations.
Using sacred things for personal gain was forbidden, and my honed sword skills were practically useless. I was even deceived because I knew little about the ways of the world. Thanks to that, I lived day by day in hunger, but my life continued, spared by the baptismal name.
Then, one day.
I empathized with a child on the verge of death in a carriage accident and treated him, only to find out that he was the son of Arwel, the Duke of Gungjeongbaek.
That was the turning point in my life.
With the money provided by the Duke, I established an orphanage, and thanks to that, I had a family for the first time.
Although our connection was brief, the transformation of consciousness was astounding.
I can truly do anything. Suddenly, such thoughts occurred to me.
Knowing that there is a place to return to uplifts a person.
Family was no different from my second calling.
Therefore, I sincerely take Elphesia’s hand and express my gratitude.
“Thank you, Elphesia.”
“Why are you suddenly like this?”
“Just.”
Truly just. In reality, there was nothing particularly special to say, something that should be exchanged casually in everyday conversation.
“I’m always grateful for you being with me, and for being my partner. Always thankful.”
“Mm…”
“I know you always consider me and the kids. Not only that, you know everything, even things I hide.”
“…I’m just doing what needs to be done.”
“Yeah, what needs to be done.”
I find Elphesia’s simple aspect more admirable than anything else. Therefore, I, too, had to follow her example and do what needed to be done.
It’s probably my duty to express gratitude clearly. Because, after all, we have a good relationship.
I know our relationship is a contract. Nevertheless, I wanted to do something for Elphesia beyond the contract. Perhaps because she first gave me a world beyond what was expected.
So, it seems like it’s time to think about what I should give Elphesia.
It’s not about a clear give-and-take meaning. I just wanted to see Elphesia genuinely happy. As if I were delighted with everything she provided.
What name should I give to this feeling?
“Thank you, Elphesia.”
Ah, for now, let’s call it ‘Gami,’ as a temporary measure.
Certainly… that name seems fitting.
Still, it’s a bit regrettable.
The warmth exchanged in our joined hands feels somewhat lacking in a name to attach to.
So, let’s focus our consciousness. Let’s find a name that suits this warmth.
Slowly, taking our time.