A gentle breeze blows and tickles your face .
It’s not unpleasant, but it’s not very good either .
I swept my hair backwards—then I thought I had to find a place where the wind didn’t blow, and I moved on .
and… .
like that
How long has it been since I wandered through the grave of the sword, wherever I went ?
“… .”
I was able to find a place that particularly caught my eye .
A large rock was placed among the thick trees, and a cozy cave was made as
if someone had dug it .
“… Hmm .”
Aroused my interest, I approached the rock, stood in front of the cave, and looked around .
The smell of cold earth and wet grass .
The perfect shade of thick trees and rocks, and the faint coolness of the ankles… .
I’ve looked all over the place, but I’ve never seen a place so gloomy .
“… Good .”
That’s why, somehow, somehow, I feel comfortable .
A few years ago, after my dad left us .
My mother abandoned me , and
I, left alone, naturally plunged into the darkness .
It felt lonely and lonely at first, but it disappeared quickly after a while .
Because the darkness that enveloped me filled the void before I knew it .
The Internet and games full of stimulating materials were the best painkillers, the
‘friends’ I met in the game were great teachers like no other in the world ,
and the cigarettes I learned by force from my friends were like sweet candy to soothe my empty heart .
A gloomy place like this suits me, who gave up on reality and lived facing the darkness .
However… .
“… No. ”
I have to cut off the desires in my heart, and if I sit in a place like this, even the desires that did not exist may boil over .
Unfortunately, let’s find another place .
Swallow
—I took a step, swallowing my regret, and this time I purposely headed to a sunny place .
and… .
“… .”
After a while, I found a place that looked pretty good .
A wide rock lying on a wide field .
The rock was surrounded by beautiful flowers, and the
grass spread across the grass was swaying in the refreshing wind, making a pleasant noise .
It feels like the best place to practice .
The sun isn’t that hot, so I think it would be perfect to practice there… .
“… Hmm .”
For some reason, it did not touch my heart .
It’s so open and there’s something… . Somehow, it’s so bright that it makes me feel excited .
But… .
“… ha .”
There is no suitable alternative .
If we take the time again, one day we will find a suitable place… ,
there is no guarantee that it will be better than here .
“… .”
I thought that I had no choice but to walk towards the rock in the field, and through the grass and flowers that tickled my
ankles, I was finally able to climb on top of the rock
.
Hui Ying—
A pleasant wind tickling your face .
“… Pretty good .”
I thought it was a better place than I thought, and I just sat on the rock .
Shake-
“… Hmm… .”
Now that I have settled down, I need to start training in earnest… .
When I sat down here, I had no idea what to do or how to do it .
‘ Cut the desires of the heart .’
I could understand the meaning and meaning of it, but I’m not sure exactly how to do it .
“… .”
I sat on the rock and pondered for a while, then sat down with an upright posture and carefully closed my eyes .
“… sup… ha… .”
Then take a slow, deep breath ,
little by little… .
slowly… .
I started to fall deep in my heart… .
‘A sword can cut anything .’ It
is said that the old man couldn’t cut it because of his regrets ,
and it is said that someone forged a sword by cutting off their own desires .
Then what should I cut… .
My goal is to get Jihwan back from his mother .
To do that, we need to become much stronger than we are now , and
we need to become even more poisonous .
By the way… .
I suddenly have a question .
… What do you do after you get Jihwan back ?
By that time, I was already having a happy family with Jihwan .
Let’s take care of each other, love each other and spend the supremely happy days .
What should I aim for ?
“… .”
I feel like my direction in life has suddenly disappeared .
No matter how much I think Jihwan is by my side, even if he only looks at me for the rest of his life, something is lacking .
An unknown feeling of anxiety runs through my throat ,
and a terrifying feeling fills my throat .
… Jihwan is… .
Jihwan is… , really me… , is it right that I am the only one looking… ?
He is a man with a past of giving his body and soul to another woman… .
I said I was deceived by my mother, but… .
It’s already a dirty body as it gets dirty… .
No matter how much he loves me, no matter how much he puts on his body, as long as
he doesn’t become a fool, the memories of his mother engraved in his mind will never be forgotten… .
… How do you compare me… ?
What if I think my mom is better than me because I’m not good enough… ?
“… … .”
I was only imagining it, but suddenly my heart started pounding and I started getting short of breath .
… Jihwan’s beginning had to be mine .
Holding hands, hugging, kissing, sleeping, everything
from head to toe had to be mine .
However, everything has already been taken away by her mother, and her mother has settled in Jihwan’s heart, who will not be enough even if I am alone .
No matter how hard I try… ,
no matter how strong I am… ,
Absolutely cannot take the beginning of Jihwan .
I’m second .
You can never be the first .
Taken from n̲o̲b̲l̲e̲m̲t̲l̲.̲c̲o̲m̲
Quickly— myteeth are grinding .
At the same time, I am reminded of the past when I tried to rationalize that he would be fine as long as he was by my side .
No matter how close I am, if you don’t really see me, what does that mean ?
“… … .”
Evil desires, dark desires fill the heart .
Jihwan must look at only
me, think only of me , and
must depend only on me .
That is the principle and destiny of the world .
By the way… .
Jihwan dared to leave me and roll around recklessly .
He gave his heart to another woman, and even showed love .
… I didn’t even know I was hurt so much… .
so… .
… Wouldn’t it be okay to receive a little ‘punishment’… ?
“… hot… !”
I opened my eyes to the terrible desire that flashed in my head for a moment— I took a deep breath and looked around . The
warm sunlight and bright flowers lit up my eyes, and the pleasant scent of grass carried in the
wind calmed my heart .
‘ desire’ .
What does it mean to cut off desire… .
I was finally able to realize how difficult it is to give up the most basic things
.
*
Time passes… . Day
4 morning .
“… ha… ha… .”
I failed again this time, and just before I was consumed by desire, I barely escaped and was breathing heavily .
The darkness that slept deep in my heart was bigger than I thought, and it was terribly sweet .
Just imagining it makes me laugh out loud, my stomach tickles, and
if I accidentally step in… ,
probably will never get out of it .
“… ha… .”
Loudly
—I laid down on the rock with a heavy sigh, staring blankly at the increasingly bright sky .
“… .”
It’s already been 4 days since I started training .
During this time, I couldn’t shake off the lust deep in my heart .
Of course, I didn’t think it would be easy, but it was not at a level that could be expressed simply with ‘difficult’ .
Like… .
Of course, it was similar to forcibly removing something that was supposed to be attached to it .
“… ha… .”
The more I think about it, the more I sigh .
I don’t know if I’m on the right track, and I’m not even sure if this is the right way to go .
In this way, no matter how much time passes, no progress will be made .
“… That’s not allowed… .” Feeling a sense of crisis for a moment, I hurriedly got up and jumped off the rock
,
to blame— !
Measuring the direction, I moved to the place where the old man was .
and… .
After walking for a while, I finally arrived at a hut by the river .
Without hesitation, I knocked on the door and called the old man .
Smart-
“… Stay !”
OK… .
Taken from n̲o̲b̲l̲e̲m̲t̲l̲.̲c̲o̲m̲
Quietly—The door opened automatically, and a voice from the house I had been hearing for a long time came .
“ Huh? Are you here already ?”
I stepped into the house, reassured that the old man was there, and , feeling cozy after a long time ,
I sat down and talked to the old man bluntly .
“… Please help .”
“ Hmmmm… . Do you need a dwarf’s help? If I can help, I will help. Please tell me .”
Fortunately, the old man smiles and accepts the words as if he’s used to it .
I opened my mouth carefully, expressing my gratitude to such an old man .
“… No matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the craving. … If I add a little more, I think I’ll really get eaten… . … Is this correct ?”
“ Ummm… ?”
Then the old man creaked his armor, changed his posture, and scratched his gray hair and asked strangely .
“ Why are you trying to get rid of lust ?”
Why do you want to cut down on your desires ?
yea of course… .
“… I don’t want to harm the man I love .”
for Jihwan .
I want Jihwan’s love, not his body .
Taken from n̲o̲b̲l̲e̲m̲t̲l̲.̲c̲o̲m̲
Violence and oppression only lead to anger, and anger is a shortcut to the heart .I really don’t know if it can be helped, but I don’t want to use a method that he doesn’t like .
“ Hmmmm… .”
The old man clapped his armor and gently folded his arms, looked intently at me and asked a question .
“… What ‘sword’ are you wielding ?”
sword .
I was able to understand at once what the old man was talking about, the ‘sword’ , and
soon I noticed that the old man was also handling the ‘Sword of the Unknown King’ and opened my mouth carefully .
“… plunder. … A sword of plunder .”
OK… .
“ It’s looting… . It’s amazing .”
What was so strange, the old man looked at me softly, shook his head, and then whispered to me .
“ Well, isn’t the method wrong ?”
“… yes ?”
“ The woman’s goal, as Soin said, was to protect her husband. By the way… . Are you not the other way around ?”
Opposite .
“!”
Instantly, lightning flashes in my mind .
And at the same time, the time I’ve been through so far has become a milestone one by one, starting to suggest the direction I need to go .
the opposite… . Yeah, it’s the other way around… !
Now that I had found the right path, I got up and tried to leave the hut, and the
old man saw me and smiled and added a word .
“ I say this out of boredom, but… . Be careful not to be eaten by the sword .”
Don’t be eaten by the sword .
It was really the best advice for me .
“… thank you… !”
I bowed politely to the old man, thanked him, and left the hut .
Taken from n̲o̲b̲l̲e̲m̲t̲l̲.̲c̲o̲m̲
Quick profit-“… Ah .”
Then, stopping for a moment on the way, I spoke to the old man, who might have been his last meeting .
“… there… .”
“ Um? What’s going on ?”
“… How can I remember the old man? ?”
Then the old man looked at me with curious eyes and said ,
“ I am ashamed… . The dwarf has long since lost his name. so… .”
Soon after, he smiled and spoke with a kind expression .
“ Call me the Nameless King .”
*
Smell of cold earth and wet grass .
The perfect shade of thick trees and rocks, and the faint coolness of the ankles .
There can be no place more perfect than this .
Bump-
I took a seat in someone’s burrow, took a deep breath, and said ,
“… Whoo… .”
She gently crossed her legs and sank into the abyss of her innermost being .
OK… .
The monsters that nested in the abyss, the darkest darkness appeared, and they began to rush in like a swarm .
negation .
anxiety .
anger .
despair .
fear .
And even the desire to covet Jihwan, even if he harmed him… .
Until now, I tried desperately to cut it, but… ,
not anymore .
Denying reality, forcing him to bring out the times he was anxious and angry .
And at the same time, she puts on her tongue the past, which is engulfed in despair, fear, and filthy desire .
He chews over and over again and sucks the pain until he feels insignificant
. Boom-
thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump -thump-thump-thump-thump-thump
– pounding
-ear ear I forcibly remembered Jihwan, who was wallowing with his mother in the video, and raised the pain even more .
My whole body trembles and I feel
my brain throbbing as it melts hot .
Pu -wook— My
nails dig in, and I feel a tingling pain .
Crackling— My
teeth are grinding and my stomach is churning to the point that I vomit .
Pushing himself to the edge of a sheer cliff, he brutally abused him, ready to die .
and… .
“… .”
By the time I finally felt nothing .
After conquering the darkness and reaching the bottom of the abyss, I was finally able to face what my sword needed .
“… .”
I slowly got up, drew my sword, and thought about it again .
sadness . My
heartbreaking sadness that I couldn’t be the first, and
my unfortunate fate that I have no choice but to become a predator forever .
And swallowing sorrow, let’s swing the sword… ,
Hwaah— !
Finally the sky parted .