76 – Episode 76 The War of Toothbrush Beards
Among the jokes that have nothing to do with facts, there is this anecdote.
One day, Hitler and a German general made this joke.
“If Italy becomes our enemy, how many divisions will we need?”
“Two divisions will be enough to stop them in the Alps.”
“What if Italy becomes an ally?”
“Then, we must send 30 divisions to utilize the Italian army.”
It may seem like a joke, but considering that Hitler actually went through a similar situation, it was a joke that I couldn’t laugh at.
Right now, the people who joined our alliance were ‘those’ Italians.
What he actually did was also a sight to behold.
It was humorous that they were stopped while attacking France with 50 divisions, which did not have many troops to spare, but in the meantime, a house was robbed and 1/3 of the mainland was lost.
Of course, Italy itself has strong regional characteristics and is playing on its own, and since it has been fighting the Ethiopian War and the Turkish War in succession since before World War II, it has not had enough time to reform its military, so it is difficult to admit that it is difficult to show the strength of a great power. You can.
But it wasn’t that one. Does it make sense to pour more than 30 divisions into the 10 or so divisions of the negotiation army and still fail to block the landing?
I was at a loss as to what to do with the sh*t Italy had made.
As I was looking down at the map and gritting my teeth, Falkenhayn came in.
As soon as Falkenhayn heard Italy’s request for help, he burst out laughing. That’s how I felt.
Why are Germany’s only allies being Austria-Hungary, Italy, and Romania?
Was Bismarck, who created the Triple Alliance by bringing together these idiots, really a diplomatic genius? Wouldn’t cutting that guy off have been the best decision in my life? For a moment, I sympathized with the idiot with the arm that cut off Bismarck.
“I hate to see this, but I think we need to send relief troops to Italy.”
“Do you have enough troops to do that?”
The current empire is not squeezing its manpower to the limit like in the last episode, so its scale is much smaller than it was back then. To be honest, Ludendorff, who selected 13 million people out of a population of 67 million, was mentally ill, and it is not strange that I selected 5 million people.
From these insufficient troops, one million troops were selected and garrisoned in the huge eastern colonies.
Considering the troops consumed at Verdun, the strategic reserve was insufficient to support the Western Front. In times like these, Ludendorff-style conscription was imminent.
“But you still have to squeeze it out. “If Italy falls, then we will have to use more troops.”
I knew that too. Hitler also planted 30 divisions all over Italy for that reason.
“How many divisions would be good?”
“I think six divisions is appropriate.”
Although it may seem small, it was a huge number that made Germany, which had not become Ludendorff, want to vomit blood.
But I couldn’t not send it.
I once again cursed Italy and signed the list of support for the strategic reserve that Falkenhayn had written.
Among them was the name of the 6th Bavarian Reserve Division.
*
Adolf Hitler, a young Austrian-born man, was an aspiring painter who wanted to enter the Vienna University of Fine Arts, but his talent was not enough to achieve his new dream. The university refused his admission on two occasions, and Hitler had no choice but to look for another path.
Hitler turned his attention to architecture instead of art, which seemed unlikely, but even here the threshold was too high for him to enter. It was not easy for Hitler to find a decent job with his educational background, having even dropped out of the Gymnasium due to conflict with his father.
Of course, Hitler wasn’t really desperate for a job.
Although Hitler lived in homeless shelters, he had the legacy of his father, who had amassed a huge fortune while working as a customs officer. Although he dressed scantily and did not eat decent food, he had enough money to spend lavishly on cultural activities such as Wagner’s operas.
“Germans should listen to Wagner’s music, not vulgar Jewish music.”
During his stay in Vienna, Hitler was influenced by anti-Semitic politicians such as Karl Luger. He listened carefully to their arguments and came to believe in German nationalism.
“After all, the reason we Germanic people did not become the world’s strongest is because of the Jews. If we just removed the impurities within us, Greater Germany could have become stronger, so why couldn’t we do that?”
Hitler was obsessed with extreme Germanic supremacy.
In the meantime, when World War II broke out, Hitler tried to volunteer for the Austrian army.
Even Austria, which was inferior to Germany, was a Germanic country. The Germanic nation must win.
However, Hitler could not overcome the hurdles of the Austrian military conscription inspection.
“What kind of army is this guy who can’t even hold a gun? He thinks the imperial army accepts anyone.”
So he applied to join the Bavarian army.
“Has that Austrian guy applied to join our army? Oh, the paperwork is annoying. Just handle the fact that he volunteered.”
The Bavarian Army, which was in turmoil due to World War II, organized volunteer enlistees into the 6th Bavarian Reserve Division.
If the Schlieffen Plan to invade the West had been activated, Hitler’s 6th Bavarian Division would have had to fight in northeastern France, but he was lucky. Because of the Kaiser’s unexpected decision, most of the German army, including the 6th Bavarian Division, was relocated to the Eastern Front.
“You have to deal with insignificant Slavs.”
Unknown to Hitler, this transition saved him from the hell of trench warfare. Hitler followed the division moving east into Russia.
The division, which briefly performed security and tranquilization missions in Russia, received orders to move south again to Italy.
Hitler was quite excited by the news that he was going from cold and harsh Russia to warm Italy.
However, the Italian front was not as warm and comfortable a place as he thought.
The actual image of Italy did not match what he thought.
Aside from the Mediterranean climate, the harsh cold in the Italian mountains was as terrible as that in Russia.
In such an environment, we had to fight against well-trained British troops. Hitler soon realized that the Italian battlefield was more terrible than the Russian one.
“Wake up, chicks. “It is time to fight.”
The 16th Bavarian Reserve Regiment, also known as the List Regiment, was sent into battle according to orders from superiors. The target of the operation was the British army nesting on a small hill leading to Mount Campobasso.
The young soldiers, unaware of the horrors of war, welcomed the attack mission.
“Hey, Adolf. “Don’t even blink and follow me closely.”
“I understand, sergeant.”
Senior sergeant Max Amann looked favorably on the Austrian soldier assigned to him. Even though he was Austrian, I liked his attitude when he volunteered to join the German army.
Hitler was not very good at speaking, but he had his own beliefs about anti-Semitism and German nationalism, so he said something that was quite pleasant to listen to, and Aman deeply sympathized with his words.
Since Aman himself was anti-Semitic and a Germanic supremacist to begin with, it was strange that he was not killed.
Because of this, Arman, who was considered a quite rough person among the soldiers, acted leniently towards Hitler. He had nothing to do with convenience in going out or applying the rules.
“Charge!”
With a whistle, the entire regiment went on the offensive. Since the German army’s heavy artillery had just pounded the trenches, the only counterattack by the British infantry was machine guns.
It took great courage and willpower to fire a machine gun in an environment where it was difficult to even open your eyes due to the poisonous gas.
“Suppress with grenades and rush in!”
As the British army’s machine guns fell silent for cooling, the German soldiers shouted and charged. The British infantry attempted to resist, but their fire nets were not dense. Even when their comrades fell, the German soldiers calmly narrowed the distance and suppressed the positions one by one.
‘As expected, our German army is invincible.’
Hitler ran forward, holding his gun with a confident expression. The battle was as easy as going on a picnic.
The German soldiers soon arrived at the trench abandoned by the British army. The trench was littered with dirt and personal belongings that had not yet been taken away.
As Hitler was about to touch a backpack left behind by a British soldier, Amann struck down his helmet. Hitler was startled by the blunt impact and raised his head. Aman said in an angry voice.
“You idiot.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“What would you do if the British had buried a landmine underneath there? “Do you want your balls to fly?”
Although Aman spoke harshly, it was just to warn him.
Although the British army was said to spend more time building positions, this did not mean that they did not use landmines at all.
In Russia, there were also soldiers who were maimed by stepping on landmines. Several of Aman’s friends he had known before the war were thus crippled.
Hitler was startled by the sergeant’s words and took a step back.
Indeed, I thought it was a cowardly act worthy of the Anglo-Saxons, who deserve to be despised.
From Noble mtl dot com
“This is an unfair, Anglo-Saxon thing to do.”
“Is there anything fair and square in war? Just win and that’s it. Adolf, remember this. “There are no rules in war.”
“But isn’t there such a thing as chivalry?”
“Nothing like that exists on the battlefield. “It’s something that only exists in old fairy tale books.”
There were many things in common between Amann and Hitler, but there was at least a difference in their ideas about war. Aman, who lived as a professional soldier, did not harbor the slightest romanticism about war.
Aman shouted again to his soldiers.
“Don’t hesitate, keep moving!”
At that time, a tearing sound was heard in the sky and everyone looked up. Then a dull explosion echoed the ground.
Kwa-kwa-kwang!
“It’s artillery fire!”
“Hide!”
The soldiers were taken aback by the sudden bombardment of the British army and jumped into the captured trench. Some of them seemed to have forgotten their gas masks, so they hurriedly urinated on the enemy soldiers’ uniforms and wrapped them around their faces.
Hitler was also surprised by the close-quarters artillery fire and crouched on the floor of the trench wearing a gas mask. They lay flat on their faces and waited for the steel storm to pass.
As soon as Aman confirmed that the bombardment was over, he got up and looked around.
The sergeant kicked his men to their feet and then pounded Hitler’s helmet with his fist, who was still crouching.
“Adolf. “Why are you shaking like that?”
“Yes? Is the bombardment over already?”
“Then the British guys on the boat will keep shooting? “It’s okay, let’s get up.”
“I never thought the British would shell here.”
“They also have cannons, machine guns, everything they have.”
The sergeant shouted to his soldiers and ordered them to advance again.
“Are you planning on holding back so the British can fire again? Run and kick some ass before they load their shells. That’s what you do.”
Hitler adjusted his helmet and consoled himself for being scared for a moment.
‘Was I weak enough to be scared by just one artillery barrage? No. I am a warrior of the great Germanic people. I was just confused for a moment because I had never experienced proper artillery fire before.’
Hitler bit his lip slightly and followed behind his senior soldiers.
The battle of the 16th Bavarian Reserve Regiment ended in just one day.
The German army was able to easily complete the mission by eliminating the small British batteries placed on the hill.
But Hitler’s battle did not end there.
There were still many battles remaining throughout Italy.