5
As usual, I listened to the teacher’s lesson at school and prepared another book since the next class was self-study.
“Hey, you need to get your book out”
I looked at him with a where-do-you-think-you’re-going expression and Seokho sighed.
“I clearly said it was self-study until last week”
“No.. you said until next week”
When I said that, he scratched his head and said
“People can make mistakes, you know”
That.. bastard?
“Anyway, I told you now, didn’t I?”
I looked at him with disbelief, but Seokho ran away quickly. I’ll have to beat him up after class.
“Was it here..?”
I asked the other friends and entered the class for my elective.
When I entered the class, the kids who came early were chatting with their friends.
A seat.. a seat
I looked around for a seat.
The seats for one person were already taken by the quick-witted nerds and the rest were seats with uncomfortable desks, seats where I had to sit with a girl, and seats where I had to sit with a few delinquents.
“Sit here”
Then I heard a familiar voice from the side and looked
“…Seoah?”
“Yeah, you can sit here.”
I looked around. I was the only one here, and everyone was staring at me because of Seo-a’s words.
“Uh.. okay.”
I put down my book and sat down. Then I straightened my back and pretended to study hard.
“Hey.. can I borrow your book? I didn’t bring mine.”
Then Seo-a looked at me and said she didn’t bring her book.
“..Huh? Oh, here you go.”
I handed her the book. I didn’t care about this subject anyway. It was life and ethics, and I had given up on it.
“Uh.. but then you can’t see it. Are you okay?”
I nodded my head, too tired to answer. It was hard to speak when everyone was looking at us.
“Okay, everyone sit down.”
Just then, the teacher came in.
“Come on, you can look at it together.”
“Yeah..”
We put the book in the middle and slowly moved closer to each other.
“So this utilitarianism is a theory that says the happiness of the majority is the absolute happiness. You can easily explain it like that..”
“Yawn..”
As usual, the most boring ethics class made me sleepy and I yawned.
“Sleepy? You can take a nap.”
But having Seo-a next to me made me wide awake.
“Ahem.. No”
If I knew this would happen, I should have worn some perfume today.. No, wait, I should have done something with my hair first..
While I was thinking that, Seo-ah next to me was diligently taking notes.
She studies.. so hard
That’s why she becomes a manager of a big company later
I glanced at her studying and tried to focus on the teacher’s words..
“So, the difference between Bentham and Mill’s utilitarianism, this is important, everyone, underline this..”
Hmm.. let’s stop listening
“Hey..”
“Huh..? What’s wrong?”
Did she notice me looking at her earlier? Or.. do I smell bad!?!
“I.. need an eraser, can you lend me one?”
An eraser..?
“Sure, here you go”
I tried to steady my trembling voice and act like nothing was wrong.
“…Thank you”
I had a feeling that Seo-ah sitting next to me had something to do with her saving me last time.
She was studying hard, and I was having these thoughts..
I straightened my posture and concentrated on the teacher’s lesson.
But then the bell rang and I left without saying goodbye to Seo-ah properly. The reason was obvious, the other kids were glaring at me.. Honestly, it was scary
Ding-dong-dang-dong
“Kieeek, it’s over.”
Ignoring my friend who was crying like a dinosaur from the Mesozoic era, I prepared to go home.
In my backpack, there were a few books, notebooks, and a pencil case.
“Hey, do you want to go to karaoke for a change?”
While I was looking for anything else to put in my backpack, Seok-ho had already gathered his friends and called me.
“..No, you guys go ahead.”
Honestly, I didn’t know many songs, and the ones I did know were outdated. So there was nothing much to do at karaoke.
“Hey, what are you leaving me out for? Are you confessing?”
I ignored my friend who was laughing mischievously and organized my bag.
“Ouch! Just go with me once, okay?”
Today, of all days, I felt lonely going home alone. It wasn’t like that before.. Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen Seo-a, who was my wife, for a long time.
“Okay! Let’s go!”
I followed my friends out of school.
What is youth in high school? Well, there are many things, but of course, it’s making memories with friends.
“Oh, we’re here, we’re here.”
“Hi.”
“Uh.. hi?”
Me and my friend Seokho and a few friends from the same class and some of their girlfriends came.
“Where are you going?”
“What? You didn’t say anything?”
I asked Seokho with a smile. It meant he didn’t say anything.
There were a lot of things to do despite the restriction of being a high school student, such as karaoke, amusement park, PC room, or camping somewhere.
“But it’s smaller than I thought.”
“What can you do? It’s a coin karaoke.”
We wondered where to go and finally arrived at a coin karaoke.
Because there were girls, PC room or billiard hall would be boring, so we came to a decent karaoke.
“Wow! Wow wow wow wow!”
“Candy in my heart~”
“That’s the only thing in my shaaareee”
“Hey, take that bastard’s mic!!”
“My shaaareee”
I laughed happily while covering my ears.
I felt like I had forgotten this kind of experience because I was thinking about Seoah.
“How is it? I told you it would be fun, right?”
Seokho smiled and brought me a drink.
“Thanks for inviting me.”
Usually, if I refuse or back out, I naturally drift apart from them, and as I get lost in the conversation, I soon become distant from them.
“What do you mean by being a good friend!”
But Seokho seemed to be worried about me, who had been thinking a lot lately, and brought me to this place.
“Alright, alright, I’ll sing one too.”
It would be stupid to come to a place like this and not have fun.
I got up from my seat and entered the song name in the title.
“Oh wow! The singer is here!!”
Seokho and the other friends cheered. The reason was that I sang very well, even though I didn’t know many songs.
“It seems to be connected by the word first love~”
I finished singing and put down the microphone. This song was the one I sang for Seoa when we came to the karaoke once, so it was a bit meaningful to me.
“Wow.. that was so cool.”
“You.. don’t tell me”
“Ouch, what are you talking about! Honestly, you think you sing well too, right?”
From Noble mtl dot com
Seokho and the friends nodded in agreement.
“How do you sing so well? I really thought you were confessing.”
I thought of Seoa again at the compliment of a friend, but I shook my head.
“No, it’s just.. I just got better at singing by listening, you know.”
It was just a memory of that time.. Now it’s a past that can’t be turned back.. No, it was the future.
“By the way, I’m jealous. I wish I had a girlfriend too!!”
“Hey, hey, it’s all recorded in the microphone.”
Seokho shouted and a friend quickly turned off the microphone.
“Pfft, so you don’t have a girlfriend?”
“What!?”
The girl who came with our other friend was in the same class as Seokho, so she teased him.
“hahahahaha”
I also laughed at that sight and Seokho was the only one being attacked.
“Hey, you can’t laugh like that either! Huh! You’re also living your school life without a girlfriend!”
Seokho pointed at me and said, but
“What, he’s not making a girlfriend on purpose, right?”
“I think so too. My friends always say they like Jihoon whenever they see him.”
My classmates and other girls also complimented me. No.. I’m not that good.
“What are you shy about? I’m so jealous of you.”
“Puhahahaha, yeah yeah, just sing a song.”
As the song accompaniment came out, Seokho stuck out his tongue and started singing.
We each sang the songs we wanted and then sang some group songs as the mood rose. The sun had already set and the dark night sky was visible.
“Ah, I want to play more.”
“No, my girlfriend says it’s curfew time now.”
“Huh, Minji, you still have a curfew?”
“Well.. yeah.”
The couples said goodbye to each other and I was going to walk home and Seokho took the bus and left.
“…”
As I looked up at the dark night sky and walked quietly, the streets were filled with people who were laughing and chatting and whispering love to each other.
I didn’t know it in the past, but I think I know why being solo hurts more than being a loner.
I miss not seeing Seo-ah more than just seeing her briefly in class. If I had known this, would I have confessed to her then..?
“No.. knowing how Seo-ah is living now!”
As I thought about it, I started to think about Seo-ah’s family situation.
“I have to solve the problem with Seo-ah..”
But I couldn’t tell Seo-ah to leave her home right away when she had no one to rely on.
And if I knew about her family problem without her telling me, she would doubt me and push me away.
But if I had a connection with her and she told me herself…
Then if she came to my house after that…
“No.. no matter how many times we met.. she wouldn’t trust me”
The last time we met was by chance. That’s why there was no way to get close to her by approaching her right away.
She accepted me once out of kindness, but that couldn’t last forever.
So I walked shakily along the road.
I was almost home and I turned on my phone.
[Did you get home?]
As expected, Seok-ho asked me if I had arrived and I wrote back that I had arrived roughly.