76 – Dongmin Lee (11)
Dongmin Lee (11)
After dinner, I went to my room.
This is where the work laptop is located.
This is an expensive product that Harin bought for me when I was using a ‘broken’ laptop.
Clean blue and gray design.
And the road leading to the room where the workshop is located.
Red burgundy notebook.
It lay there, polished.
The ghost, which vividly broadcasts Haerin’s every move live, guarded the bedside table next to my door.
The screen doesn’t open and stays closed.
Maybe Haerin did a good job cleaning it, and even though it hadn’t been unfolded for a long time, there was no dust accumulated at all.
The bedside table was where the vase was placed.
The reason I got rid of her things and put her laptop on display was to prove that I was no longer monitoring her.
Of course, I’ve never been asked by Haerin, and I haven’t calculated any effect.
At some point, it happened naturally.
Still, despite my efforts, Haerin wasn’t overly interested in the monster laptop.
It seems that human weaknesses such as curiosity do not come to mind for a person with an intellect that is too perfect.
‘Because I can’t see it anyway?’
She said it lightly.
As expected, superhuman coolness.
If I were in her position, she would have studied until the end, whether it was good or not.
How disturbing it is that there is a laptop somewhere that reports her actions.
At least I might have tried to rip it off.
I sat down in front of my desk and looked through the novels I had written.
I’m not yet in the stage of refining, but I’m lost in my thoughts, and I’m sitting blankly watching my thoughts flow.
I needed time to organize my thoughts.
Currently, I am sleeping with Haerin.
That said, I don’t really have s*x like a couple living together or a married couple, or excessive skinship.
As promised virginity before marriage, they only sleep while holding hands.
There are several barricades in this regard.
I was concerned that getting too close to Haerin would make her obsessive later on.
We’re going to live together anyway, so you might ask what it would be like if we did everything we had to do without thinking too complicatedly.
But that’s a simple idea.
It is clear that Haerin, who is brushing her teeth in the bathroom right now, is not the killer in 『Journal』, But she can’t say that she is completely out of it.
She still suffers from insomnia when I’m not around, and when I’m not looking she goes into chronic anesthesia and she becomes a porcelain doll.
She still feels murderous when I’m gone.
In terms of nature, it means that Kang Hae-rin is the same.
Then, how far is nature?
Haerin can intentionally avoid that choice by reading the 『Journal』 And being conscious of her own actions.
Because she is no longer a fictional character.
She has to choose her actions.
If she can’t fix her nature, which is in her deepest inner self, like normal human beings, how far is her ‘free will’?
Will she still have the obsession with me, the possessiveness of me, and the seething desire of her when she sees me that I created in her immature days?
Or can it be controlled by will?
It’s fortunate if it’s the latter, but if it’s the former, even a little bit of skinship will break her water.
That is the reason why I refrain from skinship.
If you don’t know her well enough, her acting according to her desires could ruin her.
That’s why we made the barricade.
It’s not like my sister is dead, and since she left us voluntarily, it’s not that I don’t want to mix with a beautiful girl like Haerin.
A few barricades have already collapsed.
For example, in a situation where her sister might be dead, the reason she wants to do that is no longer a reason not to go to bed.
Nevertheless, the promise was kept.
Harin didn’t even touch me with the tips of her fingers.
It is doubtful that it will not collapse.
Does she mean that she doesn’t have her ‘desire’?
So she can control it?
Occasionally, I saw Haerin smiling faintly after looking at my body with an expressionless face.
As if he was lost in thought, his eyes were calm and at the same time so deep that he couldn’t tell what was inside.
A meaningful feeling that she wouldn’t have discovered if she hadn’t turned her head at the unexpected timing.
“………”
It’s clear that she wants me.
Her If she is configured according to the settings I made, she will probably feel a seething desire.
That’s because it’s like that.
That’s why it was awarded.
To lead peaceful days.
Of course, this may be chronic anxiety due to my growing up environment, which has not been windy since I was a child.
“……”
Blinking Korean cursor.
As she crossed her arms looking at it, a white arm wrapped around her behind her and her cold lips touched her cheek.
Jjook.
“It’s evening, are you writing again?”
When she looked up, Haerin was right in front of her, smiling, clinging to me and looking this way.
A distance close enough to breathe.
This level of skinship is no longer objectionable.
I wonder if it became more natural.
“I’m just trying to figure it out.”
“You are sincere, my dear. Were you this sincere when you made me? Are you thinking about writing all day?”
“… That, right?”
In fact, 『Journal』 Is a fantasy that revealed my unconsciousness without adding or subtracting during my most difficult period, so I did not put much effort into writing it.
But if I tell you the truth, I’ll be offended.
From noble mtl dot com
“But, at this point, would you like to go to bed now?”
“… Yeah, just think about it for a second.”
“Tomorrow.”
“……”
“I have to lead a regular life. You decided to limit writing novels after breakfast and in the afternoon, right?”
Haerin said in a low voice.
After living with her, she thinks that her body has become very healthy, but this is what is frustrating.
Every life was woven here.
Of course, it’s not the same as at the training camp, but typically the time to go to bed and wake up was always the same.
Although it is possible to adjust the schedule, we had our own rules that must be done the day before.
“I’m going out tomorrow.”
Haerin said.
“I’ll probably leave early and come back late. I don’t know the specific time, but I’ll be back before 10.”
“Where are you going?”
“I need to find Dami.”
“………”
Instead of not interfering in her sister’s affairs, Haerin promised me that she would come to visit her.
At least it was to provide a forum for her and I to have a ‘honest’ conversation.
“I think I will have to find it soon.”
“Ah… Yes.”
I answered awkwardly.
I was worried, but it’s what I asked for.
Let’s properly tell her that her feelings toward me are wrong, that she is misunderstanding.
Then everything can go back to normal.
I didn’t let go of the string of hope.
I already knew about my sister’s plan, and she knows that, but I can’t accept it.
“If you find Mr. Dami.”
Haerin no longer calls her sister ‘her sister’ and uses the title ‘Dami’.
Probably because I was angry with my sister’s attitude for declaring me her lover, and I also felt some resentment.
I don’t feel the need to point this out.
“Can you be calm and cool?”
“…Do I really have to?”
“………”
“I mean, even if you don’t treat me coldly, I think you can speak normally. She knows she likes me, but she’s going to be honest with me that it’s not like love.”
Haerin fell away from me.
She crossed her arms and looked down at me.
“What if Dami did this?”
She got on my lap and she started kissing me on the forehead, then kissed her on the lips and neck.
The cold yet damp sensation gave me goosebumps.
It was tickling, but it felt good.
“… I don’t think it could ever happen.”
I couldn’t even push Haerin away and spoke with her voice, with her head turned.
There’s no way Lee Da-mi would do that to me.
Of course, the other day he kissed me drunk, but that was drunk and insane.
I got goosebumps at the thought of my sister carving a kiss mark on the nape of my neck.
As expected, I’m not that kind of person.
My position was firm.
“If you do.”
But Harin was persistent.
“… Of course I have to push it.”
“If you don’t push it away, that is a breach of contract.”
“Haerin.”
I ended up laughing.
I was afraid at first, but living under the same roof with her had diluted her prejudice against her, and now these actions looked like cute jealousy.
The tenacious side was her coolness and gap.
I don’t care about my laptop, but when it comes to my sister, I’m jealous.
“Of course. Thats my sister You’re plotting such a ridiculous plot in the first place. Even now, my sister believes that she is completely deceiving me. To distance you from me.”
“Sure.”
“You don’t have to worry. I have no intention of marrying my sister, and I am not that weak.”
I pretended to be strong because I was conscious of Harin’s past remarks that called me ‘weak’.
“My sister has learned jiu-jitsu, but I’m still a man, and I’ll do my best to push her away.”
“No matter how good you feel?”
“…Men are not animals ruled by pleasure.”
“What if you think you will be forced to?”
“… There’s no way that’s going to happen, but if it does, I’ll have to forcefully push it away and make it come to its senses.”
I spoke confidently like a hero.
Haerin smiled lightly at the exaggerated pose.
Now she knows how to laugh like that.
When I was ‘acting’ in front of other people, it wasn’t Kang Hae-rin, it was a feeling that came from my heart.
Now that she has attained the goal of “Me,” She has no interest in other people.
If she had made up her mind, she wouldn’t have worn anything like me. She would have had a school life.
“Then what are your plans for tomorrow?”
Haerin asked.
This was the ‘rule’ I mentioned earlier.
We always shared our plans the day before and the next day.
The fact that she told her about her plans for tomorrow was part of that.
We shared many things.
We even know that we are between ‘writer and character’, so what more do we need to hide?
My words were similar because my daily life only consisted of simple exercise and writing.
I answered that.
“Then shall we go up now?”
“… Wait a minute, think about it…”
“No.”
“…Just 5 minutes.”
Harin stuck out her lips and nodded.
“Can you come up in 5 minutes?”
“Yes.”
She closed the door and disappeared.
I sighed and looked at my laptop, clicked meaninglessly, and then turned it off.
I checked my phone one last time before going up to Haerin’s bedroom where we are currently sleeping.
There were things you could never check on the bed you shared and shouldn’t have done.
Grace.
There are many dictionary definitions.
Among them, ‘Grace’.
In other words, Hyeeun.
Hyeeun Kim.
This morning.
It was Kim Hye-eun, who had a bad relationship in the past, who sent me a picture of Haerin and I at dinner the night before.
Grace seems to be a nickname.
Checking her profile picture, she was seen wearing a bold white bikini on an overseas beach.
I couldn’t see her face well because she was wearing sunglasses and a hat, but I could tell just by looking at her mouth.
A little bit of time has passed, it’s been 3 or 4 years.
[Hey, Lee Dong-min, do you have a girlfriend?]
[Recipe?]
[Your first girlfriend is me, but.]
…
Looking down past the initial conversation.
[I heard you go to the same school as my sister?]
[Senior Dongmin~?]
[Do you want to see us after a long time?]
[My older sister will buy you a drink.]
“……”
Embarrassingly friendly.
No matter how quickly the perpetrators are forgotten, I couldn’t believe that the kid who saw me crying casually called me ‘friend’.
I ignored it at first.
But she was persistent.
He got annoyed when I kept ignoring him.
I even called.
In fact, what Haerin promised was not to meet the ‘villain’ in 『Journal』, So even if she talked to Kim Hye-eun, it wouldn’t break the promise.
Still, I was reluctant.
If things between her and me upset Haerin, I’m afraid things will become complicated for no reason.
I tried somehow to stop doing this in the middle of work, and I tried ignoring it, but it was difficult to do it this way.
Due to Kim Hye-eun’s personality, she will provoke more if I keep ignoring her, whom I saw as a hogu in the past.
She was very proud of her.
Especially if it’s from someone who thinks she’s weaker or lesser than herself.
She didn’t know what to do.
To her, I must have been the weakling.
The worst thing is that Haerin meets her.
She must have graduated from school. I don’t want to be afraid of her anymore, but if she continues to flirt with her, and then hurt her Harin.
That’s not good for Kim Hye-eun either.
[Tell me tomorrow.]
I replied briefly like that.
There were a lot of overdue messages, but the time given to read and reply to each one was too short.
I don’t know anything else about Haerin, but she was very strict about her waking up and bedtime.
Since Haerin said that she is going out tomorrow, she should be able to properly persuade her through phone calls or text messages.
Don’t contact me anymore.
I left the room.
I turned around and headed for the bedroom on the second floor, holding the red wine-colored laptop on the bedside table on my left side.
Haerin was lying on the bed and reading her book.
The image of her with her hair tied up and quietly concentrating on reading is the image of an intelligent woman that I hoped for.
A few strands of hair flowed down her side.
I quietly went to his side.
“Are you here? Drink this.”
She handed over the steaming tea.
Gyeolmyeongjacha.
This is the kind that is often said to be good for eye health.
As she lives with Haerin, she is receiving various cares, but she is moved by these small details.
Now it has become a habit for her to drink a cup of hot gyeolmyeongja tea before going to bed.
I drank it with pleasure.
As I covered myself with the blanket, a warm feeling wrapped around my body.
The inside and outside of the skin are warm.
Harin’s shoulder lightly touched my shoulder.
Even if you don’t act like an adult, you can feel the longing even if you don’t have deep skinship.
Thanks to you, I felt a little happiness.
I thought I could hear breathing next to me.
The mood lights are off.
I think I fell asleep soon too.
Insomnia is no longer with us.