0 – 0. The PTSD Sect of the Academy
– Bang!
Bang. The sound of a cannon firing. It was a sound that never grew familiar, the sound of a person torn to shreds. Distantly, the echoes of the explosion reverberated.
Shattered shells scattered in all directions like a banana. It was a 155mm self-propelled howitzer. The high-explosive shell had detonated inside.
The gunner was dead. The driver, who had been maneuvering the vehicle vigorously, had only his lower body remaining. So much blood is contained within the human body. What a lesson.
No. Lessons, survival, I want to live. I want to live. I want to live…!
Someone approached me just in time. Why are they grabbing my shoulders? Don’t shake my body! I’m perfectly fine!
Look at my body! I have ten fingers and toes… I think?
It’s hard to tell because of the combat boots. I’m not sure if I have all ten toes. I should take off my boots right now to check.
– Bang!
It exploded again. It exploded again! This time, it fell right nearby! The turret collapsed! Combat engineers! Combat engineers!
The screams of people. Gunfire. Corpses scattered everywhere like rags. A corpse half-eaten by rats.
Is it tasty? No. There’s no way it could be tasty. That’s a human.
But I’m so hungry. The place is littered with corpses. Even the rats are eating well. What makes me any different from those rat bastards? I could take a bite too; it should be fine.
The enemies are closing in. Enemies everywhere. There’s no escape! We’re surrounded! We’re all going to die!
It’s been over a month since our supply lines were cut! We’re isolated! Even the headquarters has abandoned us! We’re all going to die!
All of us. We’re all going to die! Not a single one of us will be spared!
The enemies are closing in! The enemies, the enemies are coming!
I want to live. I want to live…
I want to live! I want to live! I want to live! It’s so agonizing! Please! Anyone, just get me out of this hell! I’d rather someone kill me—
“Sage!”
“Ugh—!”
I opened my eyes. The breath I had held for so long burst out.
A concerned female professor with a worried expression was holding my shoulders and shaking me.
“Are you alright? You’ve been drenched in cold sweat for a while now… If you’re not feeling well, you should go back. I’ll inform the headmaster.”
“I-I’m fine.”
In truth, I wasn’t fine. I wiped the cold sweat that had collected on my forehead with a handkerchief. Wait. Why is there blood…?
“Oh, no… It’s not… no…”
“Sage?”
“…Huh?”
I came back. Thankfully. It keeps coming to mind. I violently shook my head. My thoughts were in disarray, but I preferred it that way.
I weakly smiled at the female professor still sending concerned glances. She sat next to me with an anxious expression.
“Oh my! Saeje-nim! Your hand!”
My hand? I looked at my hand.
The cigarette, with the filter burnt down, was about to burn my hand. I stared at it blankly.
The female professor suddenly slapped my hand. With just a little bit remaining, the residue of the cigarette, not even worth calling a stub, bounced off into the distance.
“Are you really okay? You have to introduce yourself in the auditorium later.”
“Yes… I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”
“You seem really tired… you should have gotten enough sleep.”
“Haha…”
Tired. My eyes felt heavy. I wanted to lie down somewhere and sleep all day.
I grumbled while rubbing my slightly tingling index and middle fingers. Suddenly, my hand seemed to be trembling. I clasped my hands tightly. The tremor subsided a bit.
I didn’t want to be where there were a lot of people.
In the distance, numerous freshmen entered the academy with excited expressions. Seeing them brought back unpleasant memories, furrowing my brow.
I lit a cigarette. I had smoked more than enough already, but living longer didn’t seem to matter.
The spasm in my hand wouldn’t stop. Because of that, the cigarette I had just lit fell onto the dirt.
“Damn it…”
I roughly brushed off the dirt and lit it again. It tasted gritty with bits of soil.
I probably needed to get a new prescription.
—