18 – 18. Learning Once Again
As Frederick said, the meat that day was very tender. It melted in my mouth like art.
How long has it been since I fully and comfortably tasted the flavor of food?
…Still, occasionally, it feels like something cold is touching my back,
Perhaps thanks to my indomitable spirit, whenever I feel something is wrong, my head strangely clears up.
Now, I was waiting for Frederick at the main gate, tapping my fingers on the armrest.
By the way, I still haven’t figured out what to do from now on.
She…well, it’s not certain yet. But there is a possibility that she, like me, is regressing.
I have no idea what kind of messed-up game is causing the heroine to regress, but whatever the case may be.
Thanks to that, she was obsessed with me. I don’t know what the person involved would say, but…
Doesn’t it feel strange? It’s strange for a stunning beauty to say that she likes me and doesn’t know what to do about it.
If she blurted out such words to other people, she would be seen as crazy or out of her mind.
Now, I was occasionally smiling at the servants passing by, returning their greetings.
Isn’t it comfortable? Just the fact that there is a place filled with smiles helped me shake off my anxiety.
And soon, I could greet the old priest coming down the stairs.
“Father.”
“Yes, my son. It seems like you finished your meal well. The chef’s smile is stuck in your ears.”
“The meat was delicious today. So, does that mean we’re going out to town now?”
“Yes, let’s go. There are many places to visit and stories to share.”
He put his hand on my shoulder with a smile and urged me forward, guiding me towards the carriage.
This is also a slightly different flow from the original story.
“Where shall we go, sir?”
“Drop me off at the entrance to town. I need to stretch my legs after a long time.”
“Of course, sir.”
As the reins cut through the air, the horses slowly began to move their feet.
“Let’s see… how old are you this year?”
“I think I’m… twenty-three, right?”
“Twenty-three, huh? When I met her, I was eighteen… or nineteen, I think?”
“Time flies, doesn’t it?”
“It was fast. Everyone did the right thing back then. Everyone… did it that way. At least, during my time.
Why didn’t I send you out into society, to interact more with other nobles…”
He pulled at the wrinkles around his eyes with his hand, then continued his story.
“Come to think of it, it feels like I kept you too tied down. Instead of manners and such, I should have helped you grow stronger.”
“I believe I am perfectly fine…”
“Yes, no. No. Even at twenty-three, you still know too much. And yet, I couldn’t teach you those things fully.”
As his lament continued, and I met his sunken gaze – I could somewhat anticipate his next words.
Nevertheless, I had no choice but to speak. As if it were lines from a predetermined script.
“Father, is there something wrong? Why are you saying such things…”
“…It’s because there might come a day when I have to send you away from here.”
“Is it related to an arranged marriage?”
“How did you know?”
Well, if he starts talking about his own marriage from the beginning, it’s only natural to catch on.
“All the stories Father has told so far have been about that.”
“…Did it show that clearly?”
Instead of answering, I smiled at him, and he lightly stroked his beard before speaking again.
“The Melbus family proposed a marriage. They’ve been talking about finding a good child who’s about a year older than you.”
“What is her name?”
From Noble mtl dot com
“She’s called Irene, Irene Melbus. I’ve only seen her portrait… but yes. She may not be as beautiful as your mother, but well, still…”
“In your eyes, Father, there is no one but Mother, isn’t that right? If that’s the case, she must be quite beautiful.”
“That’s right. But… no. So, what do you think?”
“Should I go there, or would I be coming from there?”
“The conversation seems to be heading in the direction you’re going. What do you want to do?”
“Is that predetermined?”
“No, but the Count Lamber wants it that way. So, it’s the word of the head of the Maelbus family.”
It’s not predetermined, huh. I’d rather it be that way. Then, how about bringing her over to this side?
Bringing her here and letting her stay in a more comfortable place.
But will ‘he’ allow it?
The Count Lamber wouldn’t want her to escape from my clutches.
“For now… I want to stay here, Father. This place is good. But if it’s the Maelbus family… it must be quite a famous family, isn’t it?”
“How do you know that?”
Ah, Lepeti, who originally had no interest in this kind of conversation, just had a garden of flowers in his mind.
Um… so… um…!
“Well, sometimes I hear stories in my ears… hahahaha…”
“Hmm…”
He looked at me with a doubtful face, but soon relaxed and nodded, as if he had gotten over it.
“Well.. It could be possible. The Maelbus family’s influence is growing day by day.”
“So, maybe… I should be the one going. That’s what I think.”
“Yes, it might turn out that way… I’ll try to handle the conversation well, somehow.”
But it was as clear as day that things would go in the direction I was going. The Count Lamber is not one to turn a blind eye.
I could tell by his closed lips that the conversation had come to an end.
Reaching out my arm, I opened the window and took in the sight of the blue sky, mountains, and newly sprouted seedlings outside.
…Before leaving, I wanted to capture this scenery in my eyes.
*
“So… I have to take his place?”
As I sat down next to the crows and conversed with them, I searched for a way to save him.
Suppressing my excitement, while also holding back the desire to go to him immediately.
The crows told me that I had to kill Viscount Lamber. I had to confront him and take his place according to the rules of Melbus.
Caw. That’s all there is to it. That man will eventually kill him.
Whether you like it or not. Whether you obey or not. In the end, you were just a tool to him.
A hunting dog that has outlived its usefulness. Once you get what you want, the tool is thrown into the warehouse.
But, caw. You are a sharp sword. You can cut anything in the hands of a skilled person.
There’s no reason to let it fall into someone else’s hands.
If you love him and are willing to do anything for him, in the end, both you and he will die.
That child is from a family that opposes Melbus. The child of the Gailga family is not compatible with Viscount Lamber.
“I don’t care if I kill him. No matter how many times… it won’t bother me!”
In the midst of the person’s dreadful plan that I hear over and over again, there is me and the fate of the person I love.
From the beginning, I couldn’t even be a person to him.
And, he was brought here to use someone like me, and the sound that he would eventually take even my life hurt my heart.
He had to die. Viscount Lamber had to die for my love. By my hand. By my sword.
Kkaak. Can I eat that? There’s so much of it.
We can also crave hot things. Give it to us. Help us wither away.
It’s still late at night, but if you make noise and raise your voice in excitement, they’ll hear.
The crows approached, illuminating a red light, and chattered towards me. Pecking their beaks, they tilted their heads.
But emotions were clearly important. He clearly told me to value emotions…
Kkaak. That’s good. Without it, there’s no reason to go to humans.
Human emotions are a great meal for us. Stimulating, and the bigger they are, the more satisfying.
But what’s boiling in you right now is dangerous. Bright light can also be felt by humans.
It must be anger. Talking about being angry. The emotion that Lepeti told me about, the one I have towards Count Lambe.
This thing that makes me want to tear my heart out, to grab a sword and slit his throat right now –
…Yeah, let’s do it. I don’t need this. As long as love remains, as long as I have love to give him…
Thinking like that, a crimson mass suddenly appeared in the air, and the crows turned into black mist surrounding it.
An unbelievable sight… it was.
As soon as the crimson disappeared, darkness descended again and took on a new form.
One crow was flapping its wings and causing a commotion, while the other two were staring at me intensely.
Then, a voice flowed into my ears.
Kkaak?! It’s hot! It’s hot! Why is it so hot!
Impressive…! Your light is pure. It’s not murky, it’s clear.
You made a good choice. Purity is always good. Can you give me more of this?
“If… I give you more, will you help me?”
Kkaak. Lamber Melbers promised us his dream. A dream that will devour this country.
Surely, it will be grand, but not eternal. Once his ambition is fulfilled, what more can he offer?
We gave him more power than what was promised, but he won’t give us more than what he promised.
Kkaak. You promised the most precious thing you could give.
The most disgusting and intense thing. That which constantly flows.
We are curious. Will it be close to “eternity”? Can it fill “our eternal hunger” as yours?
“So… you didn’t mention the most important thing. Will you help?”
The crows locked eyes with me.
And then, only one voice came through.
I couldn’t tell if it was one.
When that voice was heard, red dots flickered in the shadows of the trees in front of me.
Of course.