7. Human or Good Man (20)
Midnight is the most heterogeneous time of the day. The mere absence of light creates silence in the world. Even the scenery I’ve always seen feels unfamiliar, and the moon and stars are only shining like a soft fog in the quiet sky.
It was such a time. One of the few places where the lights were still not turned off, there was an unseasonable warmth on the top floor of Siwoosangdan.
The lamp was heating the room with scarlet heat. The delicious smell of freshly prepared food wafted out. It was a warm atmosphere.
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The food all had a neat atmosphere. ‘Mond Potato Pancake’, ‘Haengin Tofu’, and even ‘Seondojang’ without abalone and beef. They were all warm dishes filled with memories of someone.
In that place, a woman with a mysterious purple color sat with a blank face. As if she still couldn’t believe it, the blue-haired woman stared at her table in silence. Then she cautiously turned her gaze to the other side.
Her man was sitting there, finishing cooking and arranging her clothes. He immediately took out a bottle of alcohol as if it were obvious. He was a bottle of alcohol that appeared so quickly that no one even knew where it came from. He soon poured a drink into the glass prepared in front of him.
The drink was poured with a clattering sound. He looked at Gamwoo as if he had almost forgotten. At that gaze, Kamu closed her eyes and flinched, as if she had done something wrong, but her man only smiled faintly.
“…… Would you like a drink?”
Gam-u, who was trembling slightly, slowly opened his eyes at the warm voice. She studied Si-woo’s expression for a moment, then let out a sigh of relief when she realized that he wasn’t angry at all.
Gamwoo seemed to hesitate a little, but eventually quietly nodded his head.
“…… “Okay, just a little bit.”
After Siwoo heard those words, he took out another glass of alcohol. The clear sound of alcohol being filled into a glass rang out, and Siwoo held out the glass to Gamwoo.
Gamwoo carefully accepted the glass. She still seemed a little uneasy. His slightly trembling eyes were proof of that. Then Gamwoo soon closed his eyes tightly.
And the amount of alcohol in the glass suddenly decreased. Gamwoo didn’t even eat the snack and just drank a glass of alcohol, then held out the glass again.
“Can I have one more drink, please?”
Si-woo looked at Gam-woo like that with bewildered eyes, but then burst out laughing. He burst out laughing.
“I see you’ve started drinking now. You didn’t do that last time.”
“…… “It’s a day that requires courage.”
As the alcoholic beverage spread along with the subtle heat, Gamwoo seemed to gain some courage and said that. Although he was too embarrassed to make proper eye contact, Si-woo poured a drink into Gam-woo’s glass without saying anything.
“Actually, it took a lot of courage to come here.”
“Everyone is like that.”
Siwoo said that as if it was no big deal and put the bottle down on the table. With a thud, the bottle was lowered and Siwoo lifted his glass.
Gam-woo paused for a moment, then realized Si-woo’s meaning and carefully lifted his glass.
A silent toast followed. It took no time for the glasses held by the man and woman to empty.
Siwoo wiped his mouth with a loud sound. Dandelion wine, it was also produced at the Daun Winery in Mond. In terms of aroma, there is no alcohol like this on the entire continent of Tivat, but still, drinking alcohol on an empty stomach felt like hot steam hitting my uvula.
“…… It takes a lot of courage to protect what you want to protect. “I was especially upset when I had to move away from one of my sisters-in-law.”
Go ahead and say it. Gamwoo’s hand holding the glass gained strength. She was silent for a moment, perhaps recalling her memories of that day. There was a lonely look on her face.
Gam-u held out her drink again without saying a word. Siwoo couldn’t read Gamwoo’s expression because her head was down. She just thought that a lot of alcohol was needed to unravel the twisted story.
The drink was poured once again. Siwoo’s glass was also filled with alcohol, and as soon as Kamu received her glass, he closed her eyes tightly and emptied her glass. This was already the third time I drank alcohol in a row on an empty stomach. It wasn’t surprising that I was slowly getting drunk.
As Siwoo was watching, his glass of wine soon became tipsy. Si-Woo said loudly and shook off his harsh feelings. Siwoo’s mouth opened again.
“Still, it’s been rewarding. I guess Cheon Kwon-seong conveyed his message pretty well, right? Thanks to… ….”
“…… “Why did you do that?”
Gamwoo’s question was suddenly asked. Si-Woo, who was holding a glass of alcohol, cast a curious look at Gam-Woo in that same posture. Only then did Gamwoo raise his head.
The face had a subtle blush. Her eyes were slightly dilated. After three glasses of alcohol in a row, it seemed like I was finally getting drunk.
“My younger brother Siu said that he is someone so precious that I want to protect him even if I have to turn all of Liyue into enemies.”
“That’s right.”
“But why?”
Once the horse’s reins were loose, they could not be held back. Kam-woo’s question struck Si-woo in an instant, and Si-woo just looked at Kam-woo without saying a word. As if she didn’t know the purpose of her question.
Gamwoo chewed his lips as if he were indignant. She didn’t know what she was upset about. Her words continued.
“Li Yue was Siu’s younger brother’s enemy.”
“A Li Yue was like that. “Some Liyue wasn’t like that.”
Questions and answers went back and forth. Siwoo drank his drink in a relaxed manner. Gam-woo looked at the scene without saying anything, and then asked the question he wanted to ask the most.
“…… “But why did you show mercy?”
Siwoo put down his drink. Then he raised his chopsticks and looked at Gamwoo quietly as he asked the question. Gamwoo continued to ask. It was as if he desperately needed an answer.
“If I wanted to, I could destroy it. The profit that can be obtained from the top of the elder Cheon-kwon is…….”
“That’s the merchant’s way.”
At those words, Gam-u closed his mouth. Now it was her turn to look at Si-woo. Her mysterious purple eyes calmly sank. When she was drunk, she actually seemed calmer.
Her terrible anxiety and nervousness that had been bothering her for so long disappeared. Her heart, which had been shaking from the moment she met Siwoo, began to stabilize as if she had found her weight. Her drunkenness added heat to her chest.
Her heart was cracking. A torrent of emotions that had been suppressed by anxiety and nervousness until now. Gamwoo couldn’t figure out what it was, so he was a little scared.
However, Siwoo still looked calm. He tried to pick up a snack and eventually poured a drink into his glass with a sigh. And he quietly added his words.
“…… That’s not my way. “We pursue profit, but we don’t destroy anyone.”
“But he was Siwoo’s brother’s enemy.”
“Can’t we forgive our enemies?”
At those words, I felt like something moved me. She opened her mouth again, but felt Siwoo’s gaze and closed her mouth.
Siwoo was staring at Gamwoo in silence. Seeing her true self in those eyes, Gam-u lowered her head.
I knew. The fact is that this is closer to complaining. Because the ‘enemy’ that Si-woo wanted to forgive was not Eung-gwang.
That warms Gamwoo’s heart. I don’t understand, she is an unforgivable person. She disowned Si-woo, and she misunderstood Si-woo and put Si-woo in trouble. When they met again, she got angry and argued with Si-woo.
What is this heat, the heat that desperately penetrates her heart? Gamwoo couldn’t figure it out at all. She bit her lip.
Her small voice came out from Gamwoo’s mouth as he lowered his head. Her voice sounded like she was holding back something.
“…… Even giving up hundreds of millions of mora?”
“Because there are things in the world more valuable than hundreds of millions of mora.”
As Siwoo said that, she got up with a sigh. And after a while, Gamwoo flinched at the feeling of her presence next to him.
Si-woo held Gam-woo’s hand without saying a word. Gam-woo looked at Si-woo in shock, but only bitterness appeared on Si-woo’s face.
When Gam-woo saw where Si-woo’s gaze was directed, she suddenly came to her senses. His eyes were focused on her thumbnail.
Thinking of Si-woo, Umji used to get hurt on purpose. There are still scars there, so it may not be very pretty hands.
With that thought in mind, Gam-woo unconsciously tried to pull his hand away, but was stopped by the strength of Si-woo’s grip. He was stronger than I thought. Of course, if he wanted to, he could just shake off his hand.
Still, he’s a guy. Gamwoo realized that fact for the first time. Siwoo just smiled bitterly and applied the ointment again and wrapped the bandage.
“…… You’re doing this again. “It’s a bad habit, this.”
Again. Gamwoo was secretly anticipating this situation. The fact that Si-woo would notice her wounds like he always did, but there was something that even she could not have expected.
Every time Siwoo’s hand touches, the warmth seeps into his chest. It wasn’t the soft sensation I felt before. It was warm and nice, but even more than that, it was a tickling sensation.
A feeling like a child poking the soft part of his chest with his finger.
Gamwoo suddenly remembered a question.
“…… Siwoo’s younger brother.”
The voice was still muffled. Because it was wet, Kamu lowered his head in shame. Siwoo finished wrapping the bandage and looked at Kamwoo blankly.
I was embarrassed, but I couldn’t bear it. She asked with a tearful heart. One question I wanted to ask from the beginning.
It was a question I had had since the day I disowned Siwoo, not today. A crying voice filled the small space left alone with Hwae Si-woo.
“Doesn’t Siwoo’s younger brother hate me…? … ?”
Siwoo’s expression went blank for a moment at those words. He quietly looked at Gam-woo, who was holding back his tears with his head down, and eventually burst into laughter.
After being apart for so long, I came back. In the end, that was the question Gamwoo asked. A very simple yet complex question.
Siwoo thought. He said she was still cute, so he asked back in a playful voice.
“What about Gamwoo?”
In response to Si-woo’s question, Gam-woo’s head slowly lifted. As Si-woo expected, the corners of Kam-woo’s eyes were watery. The sight was pitiful but also cute, so Siwoo burst out laughing.
As Gamwoo just looked at Siwoo blankly, Siwoo asked again.
“Did you hate me, Sister Gamwoo?”
That one word. Gam-woo looked at Si-woo in silence as if he didn’t understand what he was saying, but then he seemed to realize what he meant and was startled.
She denied it, shaking her head violently, as if she would have jumped up even if she hadn’t been sitting down.
“Oh, ah, no! So, it was because my mind was a little complicated that day, and it wasn’t because I hated Siwoo’s younger brother. Actually, I regret it a lot after that…….”
“Me too.”
Gamwoo’s mouth immediately closed. There was still some moisture left in his wide-open eyes. She looked at Si-woo without saying anything, and eventually lowered her head again.
Cowardly. Gamwoo thought so. Siwoo was always like that. It was such a serious and difficult problem for Gam-woo, but Si-woo would casually make it into an insignificant problem with just one word.
And more than that, it warmed his heart. Gamwoo just lowered her head. I felt tears welling up again. She wasn’t the one who cried a lot in the first place.
“I also regretted it a lot.”
“…… Yes.”
“I have never disliked Kamwoo.”
“…… Yes.”
As he was wrapping the bandage, Siwoo continued talking. The feel of the man in his hand made her heart tremble. That soft feeling, and Si-woo’s words in a warm tone, one by one, penetrated deep into the cracks that had formed in Gam-woo’s heart.
Firmly, as if to never forget what happened that day again. Gam-u liked it, but was also afraid. Because I felt something for the first time in my life.
Siwoo didn’t know if he was aware of Gamwoo’s feelings, but he tied the bandage into a knot and stood up. He then looked at Gamwoo’s bandaged thumbnail with a somewhat satisfied expression.
“So, don’t say things like that…” Rather, the problem is that I quite like Gamwoo.”
I think so too. I like Siwoo’s younger brother so much, I feel like things are going to get weird. Called. Gam-woo was trying to speak casually, but he barely managed to keep his wits about him. Right now, Siwoo was just joking. But why are you like this today?
It seemed like it was because I had been drinking. Before he knew it, the anxiety and anger that had been creating a void in Gamwoo’s heart had disappeared without a trace.
Instead, what was left there was trembling. And unknown emotions. Gamwoo felt like his eyes were spinning. Gamwoo thought it must be because of the alcohol, so he tried to soothe his mind and took a drink. I felt like I couldn’t bear it without alcohol.
Siwoo, who was watching the scene, shook his head as if he could not stop him and returned to his seat. How has time passed since then and what did he talk about? Gamwoo could not come to his senses at all. However, I think it was a fun time. For the first time in a long time, Gamwoo smiled. He didn’t even know it had been a few days.
However, what was deeply engraved in her memory were a few words of conversation.
“Now that I think about it, I won the bet.”
“…… Yes?”
To Si-woo’s sudden words, Gam-woo tilted his head and answered. Have you ever done something like that before? After that, I hardly ever met Siwoo.
But Siwoo only smiled mischievously. He spoke jokingly, as always.
“I said I couldn’t win.”
Gamwoo’s eyes wavered at those words. She seemed embarrassed, put down her drink and began to hesitate.
“Well, back then… I’m worried about Siwoo’s younger brother…….”
“But didn’t you win?”
At the same time, Siwoo also put down her drink with a thud. Siwoo’s mischievous gaze turned towards Gamwoo. Gamwoo was in tears. This development was pointing to a future in which Gam-woo would be harmed by Si-woo.
“So, I won the bet. “It would be strange if there were no prizes for the bet, so would you please grant me one wish?”
At those words, Gam-u pursed her lips as if feeling mortified, but then she avoided her gaze, and eventually she let out a deep sigh. Yes, Gamwoo lost. And since Gam-woo was wrong, there was nothing she couldn’t grant at least one wish. He was rather a merciful master.
“…… Okay, that’s it. “What is your wish?”
“The horn.”
A word that hits you like a hook.
At the question that pierced the essence of Kamu’s existence that he had been hiding, Kamu took a breath. Her startled eyes stared at Si-woo.
However, Siwoo had a nonchalant attitude. He asked in a calm voice.
“…… “What is it?”
Gamwoo’s eyes shook. She chewed her lip, avoided his gaze, and lowered her head. Then she protested in a quiet voice. It was truly a cute level of rebellion.
“…… Siwoo’s younger brother is guessing too, right?”
“I want to hear it directly, from Sister Kamwoo’s mouth.”
Hearing those words, Kam-u looked at Si-woo with slightly resentful eyes, and eventually sighed as if there was nothing she could do.
If you think about it, it was a problem that had to be revealed at some point. You can’t fake it all your life. However, Gamwoo was scared and anxious.
I’m afraid that even Siwoo will leave her side. She was afraid that once they realized she was different, everyone else would look at her with unfamiliar eyes.
So Gam-u hesitated. Several times, she hesitated.
She closed her eyes tightly. She said in a determined voice.
“…… Siwoo’s younger brother.”
“Yes.”
“I am not human.”
There was no answer from Siwoo. He just looked at Gamwoo quietly, as if he was a little surprised, or as if he knew.
Gamwoo’s words continued. It was a sighing voice.
“That doesn’t mean we’re not human. Actually, I am a mixed race between a divine beast called Kirin and a human. “I grew up among sages from a young age, and after you drove out the demons and established Liyue, I lived among humans.”
At the same time, Gamwoo smiled bitterly. She tapped and pointed to her horn. Perhaps it was because she was drunk, but she was confessing her true feelings that she had never told anyone. Her true feelings, spoken for the first time in thousands of years.
“This is the proof. Not a human, not a good person… Evidence of a mediocre existence. It’s funny, right? A being that can’t mix anywhere…….”
Siwoo swallowed his voice at that self-deprecating voice. He just looked at Kamu and her horns without saying a word. Gamwoo let out a sad laugh.
“I’m sorry for hiding it, little brother Siwoo. “You were very surprised, right?”
Hearing those words, Siwoo groaned as if he was a little troubled. There seemed to be some hesitation. Should I say this or not? A worried face.
Seeing that, Gamwoo became even more depressed. Yeah, that’s surprising. Gamwoo was a batter to everyone. A mediocre being who is neither human nor good.
Some people said that they felt bad for her when they saw that she did not age even after living for thousands of years. In that way, Kamu was a foreign being. Gamwoo knew that fact better than anyone else. Gamwoo also couldn’t put his mind to anything else.
But what if the first person she put her heart into rejects her? It seemed like he couldn’t bear it anymore, so Gam-u just managed to control his trembling chest by clenching his fists.
It was a long time later that Siwoo opened his mouth. Si-woo, who had been pondering over and over again, showed signs of hesitation until the end and then asked.
“So, Sister Gamwoo…” ….”
Gamwoo closed his eyes tightly. Unsure of what she would hear, she waited for time to pass with the heart of a prisoner awaiting her death sentence.
It was in the next moment that Siwoo’s question was concluded.
“…… Why is it ‘dirty’ to touch her horns?”
And silence. A cold silence descended on her drinking party, which had previously had a friendly atmosphere.
Kamu slowly opened her eyes. She looked at Siwoo with disbelief in her mysterious purple eyes. Siwoo was embarrassed and cleared his throat.
It was some time later that Gamwoo’s thinking circuit processed Siwoo’s question. Her face gradually began to turn bright red, and her friend’s head lowered again.
A voice filled with shame came out. It was a voice mixed with crying.
“That, that, that, that…” Well, well, so…….”
“No, no. It’s okay… “First, calm down, Sister Gamwoo.”
Si-woo must have sensed that her mood was unusual, and she urgently began to comfort him. He spoke to Gamwoo in a comforting tone.
“Well, I know roughly what it feels like… ….”
Those words actually aroused Gamwoo’s shame even more. In the end, Gamwoo couldn’t bear it any longer.
“…… “Little brother Siwoo!”
Bwaaak, Gamwoo’s shame was at its peak, and he let out a cry. Si-woo flinched at the sharp shout, trembled, and looked around to see what Gam-woo was thinking.
In no time, Gamwoo raised his head and there were tears in the corners of his eyes out of shame. She glared at Si-woo, then lowered her gaze to the floor and spoke in a resentful voice.
“Oh, you’re being mischievous… ….”
Seeing that, Siwoo was silent for a moment. And then he sighed and offered an apology.
“I’m sorry, Sister Gamwoo…” I apologize if I offended you. “I think I blacked out for a while after drinking.”
The voice was so earnest that even though Gam-woo glared at Si-woo, he had no choice but to soften her expression. Rather, she was a little surprised.
Perhaps it was because she was shocked, but her mind was so calm. Even though her deepest weakness, which she had crouched down to embrace until now, was revealed, there was no anxiety left in her heart.
Still, I felt like I was wondering just in case. Gamwoo asked quietly.
“…… Is that the end?”
When Si-woo, who had an apologetic face, heard those words, he looked at Gam-woo blankly as if asking what he meant. Gamwoo asked again.
“Because I am half human and half good… “Aren’t you surprised?”
Hearing those words, Siwoo let out a faint groan. He tapped the table with his index finger as if he was thinking. It didn’t take long for his mouth to open.
“Honestly, if I said I knew from the beginning, it would be a lie… ….”
At the same time, Si-woo glanced at Gam-woo. Gam-woo looked a little nervous, and Si-woo thought it was quite cute and let out a light laugh.
“…… “After all, you are ‘Gamwoo Sister.'”
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With those words, Gam-woo now looked at Si-woo with a blank expression on his face. Just before she tilted her head, Siwoo continued her words.
“The important thing is that the person in front of me is the general secretary of Wolhaejeong, who went through a hygiene inspection and finished off several bowls of Seondojang… ….”
As if recalling the memory of her first day meeting Si-woo, a blush appeared on Kam-woo’s face again. Regardless, Siwoo’s words continued.
“…… I’m a workaholic who doesn’t care about my body, and I’m also a competent administrator. “She’s a kind sister with a kind smile, but she’s also a cute person with a somewhat goofy personality.”
She was shy at first, but as Siwoo continued, her expression gradually became blank. Gam-woo’s gaze falls on one of her men.
The eyes of the man who said that were calm. His tone was extremely peaceful, as if he had cut off a corner of the past. The warm human voice recalling memories, Si-woo was thinking of Kam-woo so sincerely.
For thousands of years, I was lonely. Gam-u sometimes thought of her as her rocky mountain. A solitary rocky mountain with no grass growing on it, just high.
No one pays attention to the rocky mountain. If she pays attention, she can only stare with awe or fear at how rugged and high the rocky mountain is.
So she endured the ravages of time. It was a heart that had been chipped and worn down over thousands of years. But why today?
Gamwoo couldn’t tell why her heart was beating like this. She just thought.
It looks like that guy invented the heart. The invention was inserted into her heart without anyone knowing, and it seemed as if emotions unknown to her for thousands of years were emerging.
Her breath caught in her chin, a tingling sensation ran through her, and yet she couldn’t stop looking at her man.
Gam-woo had no choice but to just look at Si-woo. Si-woo brought up a topic that had been bothering Gam-woo so much.
“Are you a human being or a good person?”
Not for any of them, but for the woman.
“…… “That’s not really important, Sister Gamwoo.”
Siwoo’s conclusion. To protect ‘Liyue’, not the Liyue of humans or the Liyue of good men.
He united with the various offices, defeated Ying Guang, and nevertheless gave up enormous profits to preserve the Liyue Seven Star system. Therefore, he was qualified to come to this conclusion.
At least that’s what Gamwoo felt. That might be a bit of a selfish interpretation, though.
“For me, the fact that Sister Kamu is ‘Sister Kamu’ is more important. Well, well… “It’s just my opinion.”
As he looked at Si-woo smiling shyly, Gam-woo thought. How could you not think that way?
Are you a human being or a good person? It was the moment when a question that had tormented Gamwoo for thousands of years disappeared.
However, Gamwoo really thought about it that day.
I would rather be a human than a noble giraffe roaming above the clouds.
Though Gam-woo had not yet realized that these were feelings for a man.
For thousands of years, a flower has bloomed on a rocky mountain. The language of the flower was ‘love’.