Became an Academy Spearman chapter 188

188. Kali & Agar

***

“… … A Cadet of Han Chun-seong.”

A faint smile escaped his face.

The answer was really simple.

“Cadet Han Chun-seong… came to suppress his emotions casually.”

The main thing was that he, a cadet, acted that way in the first place. I don’t know when he started feeling that way, even though he spent quite a bit of time with me.

I didn’t think it would be that short if you’ve been expressing your feelings to me today.

‘The past period… How hard was the cadet Han Chun-seong?’

He had been hiding his feelings so that I could not know at all, and he tried to get over the situation by belatedly taking care of his words.

Thinking back on it, it was really unexpected.

I really hadn’t felt anything like that from the cadet of Han Chun-seong until today. There was no feeling that he was looking at me as a member of the opposite sex or harboring any other feelings.

Occasionally, when I was wearing a revealing training suit, or when I seemed to be conscious of me as a woman, I could see it. That kind of reaction was extremely trivial.

Other than that, Cadet Han Chun-seong thoroughly controlled his emotions and showed only endless improvement.

He was engrossed in training and did not show any other private feelings.

‘But I, the instructor… … .’

Would it be right to approach him and try to develop a relationship with him, who was trying so hard to hide his feelings?

“I say I like you too… … .”

Is it really right to destroy our relationship as instructor and cadet?

Seruk.

I shook my head and my heart ached.

“… It can’t be.”

Cadet Han Chun-seong was working so hard. Even though he had a clear love for me, he tried hard to hide his feelings and devoted himself to training.

And why. We knew each other too well.

Because there is a line that we must not cross.

Because you can’t cross that line.

Even he, a student, was trying so hard to hold himself back.

“…”

In an instant, an empty laugh leaked out, and it seemed that the confused mind was being sorted out.

A really simple answer. Then I had to adjust to his behavior.

because that’s right Even as a cadet, he tried to keep the line with me, but as an instructor, I couldn’t cross the line.

“ah.”

Then, there was one fact that I inadvertently realized.

‘no way… … .’

Why did cadet Han Chun-seong cling to training with such unreasonable and incomprehensible will?

That was unusual for anyone to see. Even if someone asked him to do the same, he showed something so great that he couldn’t show the indomitable will of Cadet Han Chun-seong.

Could it be that Cadet Han Chun-seong had to be so engrossed to suppress his emotions?

“…”

As he exhaled lightly, one side of his chest throbbed. My heart is filled with emotions that are soggy and still contain heat.

If Cadet Han Chun-seong had been terribly involved in training to hide his feelings for me, then everything would have been understandable.

Originally, cadets who entered the academy do not have a clear sense of purpose.

Even if he tried to advance and develop after entering the school, that was nothing more than a vague purpose. Normally, it was impossible to have a strong will like that of Cadet Han Chun-seong.

But Cadet Han Chun-seong was with me all the time. ‘Everyone’ looked like that.

Always growing and trying to see beyond that. That in itself was an act of constantly pushing oneself to the limit, as if constantly whipping it.

Beyond his outstanding talent, he tries to continue to face his limitations somehow.

But the reason for all these actions… … .

‘If it were for me.’

It was understandable why he was so absorbed in training. And I thought it was highly likely that Cadet Han Chun-seong was like that.

“…really.”

Even when I opened my mouth, I felt like I was speechless.

There was a huge ripple in my mind as I decided on my future actions. Even as I stared blankly at the ceiling, countless thoughts constantly tormented me.

…

It’s time to reach midnight. The space where Carly stayed was enveloped in thick darkness. Even the moonlight coming in through the window was blocked by the curtains, so it didn’t shine brightly inside.

“little… … .”

Carly muttered blankly in the thick darkness.

“If only a little bit… … .”

If anyone who knew Kali saw it, Kali, who had an unbelievably affectionate look, just muttered blankly.

“I wonder if it’s possible.”

***

ㅡ Regret is too late no matter how fast it is.

Even though I don’t know the origin of the word, I thought it was very right. That’s the right theory, but it’s the absolute right theory… .

The fact that you think it’s a situation you’ll regret in the first place is because you think you shouldn’t have acted that way.

dumb dumb.

Looking at the ceiling of the dark dormitory, Chun-seong could not sleep at all.

“Am I really crazy too… .”

Even as I spit out the words as if I was blaming myself, I only regretted why I did that.

I couldn’t control my emotions for a moment at Carly’s immeasurable kindness to teach me to open up.

ㅡReally, I love it more than anyone else… No, I like it.

As he recalled the words he had spoken to Carly, his hands shriveled.

Seruk.

Unknowingly, I lifted the blanket all the way up to my face, trying to hide myself.

If there is even a hole, I want to hide myself, and I regret that I want to somehow pick up the spilled water again.

But since I knew I couldn’t do that, I was on the verge of going crazy.

“I really said that, so even Carly would have no choice but to despise me.”

Suddenly, her figure seemed to shimmer again.

As if surprised by my sudden words, I opened my eyes wide. However, after a while, I couldn’t forget the look of Carly, who had a completely cold face.

Even the sparring that followed did not go far. Carly didn’t try to look at me throughout the Dalian.

She sparred while ignoring me completely.

As a result. I had to break down mercilessly within a few minutes. No word came out even as he was pathetically rolling around the arena.

It was overwhelming among all the sparring I had done so far, and I felt a piece of great power from her enough to break my fighting spirit.

If Kali shows sincerity, even if it’s at Attribute Level 5. Because I truly realized that I am nothing.

There was an incomparable difference between vaguely guessing reality and feeling it through the body.

“Whoa… … .”

Let’s remember the moment. My heart seemed to sink.

“Still, I’ve never seen Carly so serious.”

Even thinking about it again seemed like it would shake my heart. I felt like how I had built a great relationship with Carly, but my relationship with her had gone awry all at once.

“Wait a minute, maybe… .”

Maybe Carly took my words as a confession.

Suddenly, I was crazy about that thought.

I instantly felt a lot of affection for Carly, who offered to teach me how to be open, but if she really thought so, it was the worst.

It is not an exaggeration to say that Kali hates love between cadets in the work. That was to the extent that it was emphasized several times in the work.

But what if I, a student, said something similar to a confession to her, an instructor? How did Carly feel about me?

“Ah… .”

Even though it was just an assumption, it seemed like it would go out of its mind.

I sensed at once that Carly must have taken my words badly. She didn’t express anything beyond that because of the relationship she had built up over the years… … .

“How do you really do it?”

I couldn’t think of a way to clean up the large spill.

I felt like I couldn’t sleep, brushing my hair wildly. I thought it would be even more strange if I could sleep comfortably even though my mind is complicated and disturbed.

“Somehow… Let’s look at it positively.”

I force myself to open my mouth and catch my heart. Then, suddenly, he remembered what Esia had said two days ago.

ㅡCarly really cares for you a lot. Perhaps even among the cadets he is teaching, the interest given to cadet Han Chun-seong is incomparably greater. Because Carly sees you very well.

If she, a fellow instructor, told me that much, I couldn’t believe it was a lie.

I felt a really small relief between my confused mind.

“Because we still had a good relationship. I’m sure Carly… will be able to take good care of me again.”

As much as their relationship hadn’t been shallow, I had great trust in Carly. At least the relationship between her and me wasn’t going to fall apart so easily.

So, the focus was on restoring the relationship.

“I think you’d better make time for it somehow.”

It wouldn’t be nice for me to look different to Carly during the lecture, and it seemed like I should do it after the lecture.

glimpse.

I gently turned my head and focused my eyes on a box lying on a nearby table.

It was a box containing mithril, and it was a great favor that Kali had bestowed on me in the past.

I vaguely thought that I needed to repay Carly, but in reality I was putting it off.

“Let’s prepare a gift separately before going to the office.”

He mumbled blankly and seemed to be able to see the road to some extent.

I don’t have enough money right now, but I thought that if I looked for a gift that would make Carly feel good, it could be cheap.

‘Because gifts are about the heart.’

Actually, I don’t think so, but Kali, who has an upright character, would think so.

“So, what’s there for Carly to like?”

I narrowed my eyes while thinking about it.

‘They say women are weak to gifts.’

Even when I recalled words I didn’t know where I heard them, it was difficult.

A gift had to have meaning when received. Gifts were most meaningful when they were useful or desired by the recipient.

In that sense, Kali, an instructor with quite a reputation on the front lines, was also from a fairly high aristocratic family, so she could have had most of them if she wanted to.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that it was practically perfect.

“Then it is said that the kind of gift that fills the gap is meaningless.”

Even though I muttered blankly, my heart was complicated.

Something Carly might like.

And something that is not expensive.

Thinking about it, I felt more trapped.

“Is there really such a thing…?”