233. change of heart
***
next Saturday morning.
Heaven blinked blankly.
“… … .”
In my field of vision, I could see the ceiling of the dormitory slowly getting brighter.
‘When did time pass like this?’
As I kept thinking and worrying, time passed without a sound.
Yesterday, facing the apostle, I passed the crisis, and at the end of the day, I just kept thinking about it, but it was already the next day.
Seruk.
I dazedly rubbed my eyes while gently sweeping my face.
I couldn’t sleep and my body was quite tired.
I couldn’t sleep at all last night.
As I felt fortunate that today was the weekend, the light breath leaking from my mouth tapped my hand slightly.
“…ha.”
As I put my hand on my face, a mischievous laugh leaked out.
“How long will my luck last?”
Luck while muttering. Until now, I thought I was lucky. It’s because I’ve been lucky all along that I’m living my life the way I am now.
It was like walking on a tightrope, all of the moments I had overcome the countless crises I had been through.
From nob le mt l. co m
No matter when the line breaks and falls down at some point… Crises that aren’t strange.
And yesterday… .
“Glesia… was hurt.”
That was an obvious error in my judgment.
madness of witches. I decided that the power of the apostle that would exist in the second episode was at a level where I could overcome it at will.
This world was already greatly distorted from what I knew, and even though it was far away from me, I thought so and tried to face the apostle with Glesia.
And in the process I realized
“…”
My vision of looking up at the ceiling shimmered again.
The new model of Glesia that floated in the air and was covered in blood.
Looking at her at that time, the feeling that my mind seemed to be out of place still came to mind even after a day has passed.
“This way… can’t.”
As I muttered blankly, my heavy breath tickled my hand again.
The past few days I have decided on my actions.
Replaces Leonhardt, who has lost his attributes, and fills the void.
Act first to prevent another victim from appearing and execute the apostle… .
I was so determined.
However, that thought collapsed just as it was yesterday at Glesia’s appearance.
my actions.
my judgment.
The firm confidence and belief in it disappeared, and I looked back at myself as it was.
ㅡBecause I’m really fine. Han Chun-seong, think of your body first. You are very tired.
I suddenly remembered the calm voice Glesia had given me before parting ways.
From nob le mt l. co m
Not knowing why, she followed me into the woods and had such a terrible accident, but she didn’t resent me in the least.
…So I felt it more.
“Even the person I had a relationship with… I couldn’t keep it properly.”
Even though I muttered blankly, my heart was heavy.
Because Glesia was seriously injured by my actions. Looking back now, it might have been even more dangerous.
Thinking about it, only empty laughter leaked out.
Obviously, my growth rate was faster than anyone else’s.
Quite a bit of time has passed since he even surpassed Leonhard, the main character of this world.
But even so… I fell short.
In the end, I couldn’t be ‘alone’. Facing the crisis to come, trying to solve it alone is… .
I can’t imagine that next time I’ll be as lucky as this time.
From nob le mt l. co m
No, I shouldn’t have thought that way. I had to think more concretely and make a better judgment.
Squeak.
A deep breath leaked out as he idly raised his upper body.
And in order to do that, I had to put into practice, not just think like this.
“…I need to get ready to go out.”
The day was already bright, and I had to get myself together thinking of the time I could go to meet them.
Yesterday, I had an appointment with Carly while explaining the situation facing the Apostle.
He said he wanted to talk about something more serious, and even asked her to set aside time today, the weekend.
And Carly… readily accepted my words.
slap!
A pat on the cheek awakened my hazy mind.
*
After preparing to go out, I must have walked for some time, and I had arrived at the place I had promised before I knew it.
Carly’s private training room. I promised to meet her here.
Knock knock.
He opened his mouth while knocking on Carly’s private training room.
“It is agar. Instructor Carly.”
ㅡCome in.
Listening to Kali’s calm voice as usual… I took a moment to catch my breath and calm myself down.
‘I have no choice but to ask for something.’
I spoke to her the other day, but I couldn’t explain it properly. I accepted all of Carly’s harsh criticism of me after listening to me yesterday.
I thought of Carly, who kept worrying me about why I did such a reckless act, saying it was a very dangerous act… Now I had to ask her for help.
clap.
When I carefully opened the door and entered, I saw Kali wearing a pure white training uniform, not an instructor’s uniform.
“First of all, I’m really sorry for asking you to take time off the weekend.”
“no. You don’t have to bend over like that.”
I slowly approached her as she looked at me with a light smile.
Kali must have sensed that she didn’t ask to meet for sparring or training like before.
That’s why you’re just staring at me.
that buck that buck… .
As the distance narrowed, Kali and my heart were strangely stirred.
“… … .”
Carly’s eyes staring at me without saying a word.
I was aware of the emotions in my eyes, but on the other hand, I was a bit hesitant.
‘Would you really accept my words?’
The delusion that she would accept my words instead of rejecting them. Regardless of the feelings she had for me, the words she was trying to convey to her were words that even I felt ambiguous.
“Cadets of Han Chun-seong. First… I’m sorry.”
Then, when I heard the words, I stopped for a moment.
“Instructor Carly?”
“Yesterday, such a dangerous thing shouldn’t have happened in the first place… I know it wasn’t Cadet Han’s fault either. However, when I think about it now, I think it was too harsh to criticize Cadet Han Chun-seong for his judgment and embarrass him.”
“no. I also think I made too… hasty judgments back then.”
“Even so, agar cadets? I said it because I was really worried about Cadet Han Chun-seong… I hope you don’t keep that in mind.”
Watching Carly speak carefully… I nodded slowly.
I understood everything she said to me and didn’t have the slightest resentment. On the contrary, seeing her as if she was looking at my appearance, apologizing for her words yesterday, made my heart clean.
“I thought I needed to be a little more careful with what the instructor said. You don’t have to say that at all.”
“Because you said that… I feel relieved too. To be honest, yesterday I also felt like my emotions had risen a bit. Even though Cadet Glessia was right next to me, I regretted it all night because it seemed like I said something too harsh only to Cadet Han Chun-seong.”
Seeing Carly again and again apologizing to me, laughter leaked out.
“I’m really fine.”
“Really… are you okay?”
“I don’t really have any in mind. Rather, I’m grateful.”
While I was calmly conveying my words, the worries I had had all along the way and even the delusions of accepting my words seemed ridiculous now.
ㅡKali Ishtar.
She was such a transparent person who worried about me like this right in front of my eyes. An infinitely upright and honest person. And the one who has only been expressing the affection he has for me while expressing his feelings.
Seeing Carly cautiously opening her mouth as if relieved by my appearance, my heart felt lighter.
“…So what are you talking about with me? I thought you were going to say something pretty serious.”
Looking at Carly asking calmly, I didn’t hesitate any more.
“Instructor Carly.”
***
—-It was fortunate.
It was the biggest emotion that Carly felt as she faced Han Chun-seong as she entered the training room.
Saying that I faced the apostle again yesterday. Even at the words that she went to find the apostle herself… Carly stopped saying harsh words that she wouldn’t normally say.
Contents such as why did you make a foolish decision without looking for an instructor.
She said a lot of things that were pretty harsh even to herself.
So… Carly couldn’t even get a good night’s sleep. Although the words stemmed from worry, I thought they sounded harsh to him, not the original meaning, and I regretted it greatly.
However, it was not different from usual, and Kali was relieved at the nature of accepting it meekly, but she put more nature into her eyes.
And why… she likes him.
Involuntarily, I felt it again.
…
“… … I know that I am going to sound like an outrageous demand, but I want you to accept it.”
I listened to the words that continued between the voices that continued calmly, and at the end, I calmly encountered Cadet Han Chun-seong, who never averted his gaze.
Cadet Han Chun-seong spoke more earnestly than any voice I had ever heard.
And it felt like a desperate wind.
So I knew what he was asking of me too. Now, such an agar cadet could not understand a little.
“… … Cadets of Han Chun-seong.”
“yes. Instructor Carly.”
My eyes narrowed even when I saw him staring at me with a serious voice at my words.
‘Why is he talking so hard?’
What Cadet Han Chun-seong wanted from me could easily be summed up in one word.
—-A word to ask for help without any conditions.
It was about not asking the reason for what he said… and asking for help. And I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me to feel.
“Why are you having such a hard time?”
“…yes?”
“You don’t have to ask for it so hard.”
Although he said it calmly, it didn’t sound like a difficult request in the slightest.
Even if Cadet Han Chun-seong didn’t want it so earnestly… I would of course do it if he wanted it.
“That word… .”
“I’ll accept it. Rather, I want Cadet Han Chun-seong to ask me at any time. If there’s a hard job, or if there’s a job that requires my strength, whatever it is. It means that you don’t have to express your meaning as hard as you do now. I will help you one by one and won’t ask why.”