251. first kiss and then
***
There are times when you suddenly forget that you shouldn’t.
It’s important.
It is also so important that I can never forget it, but at some point I was unaware of it and forgot it. There were times when various situations overlapped and confused on such a basis.
However, it was something I couldn’t forget.
I didn’t think of it first, but when the other person approached and remembered it. I took a big pause.
It was right now.
From nob le mt l. co m
Now that the lectures on Tuesday are all over and I left the classroom.
As if I had been waiting, it was only when I faced Glesia that existed outside the classroom that I felt it.
“…ah.”
It seemed that my thoughts had stopped with a short sound leaking out of my mouth in a daze.
Even so, I saw Glesia transparently meeting my gaze.
“Agar Castle. Any appointments after that?”
“… … doesn’t exist.”
“Then can you give me some time now?”
Unlike usual, Glesia’s voice felt awkward.
And despite the awkwardness, my heart seemed to sink. Today is definitely the day I promised to meet her regularly. Yeah… I haven’t forgotten that either.
that day last weekend.
From the day my life’s values and thinking changed, I’ve been thinking about Glessia all the time, but the problem was that too many thoughts cluttered my head.
As if my thoughts were buried like a single book between the stacks of books, I couldn’t fully think about Glesia.
again.
“…”
From nob le mt l. co m
Now that he was walking alongside Glesia, who was leading the way, he couldn’t open his mouth easily even though he caught a glimpse of her.
Last weekend we parted ways.
From nob le mt l. co m
No, rather than saying halfway, she kissed me suddenly, and we were over.
‘kiss… .’
While thinking about that moment in a daze, Glesia met her gaze.
flinch.
Then, as if we were in agreement, we turned our heads at the same time… Our atmosphere was so different.
Even though they are different, they are so different that it is difficult to talk to each other easily. How long did he walk along Glesia like that?
We were able to reach a park.
The park we always promised to meet, and the park where we spent time every day. The lush greenery decorated my vision, and unlike my complicated mind, refreshing air entered my body.
pop.
And then. Glesia’s steps stopped.
“Agar Castle.”
With a determined voice, she turned her head to face me, and now I did not avoid her gaze.
I had to face it properly.
“Last weekend… that… you know what I did.”
When Glesia brought up the main topic, I paused for a moment while waiting for her words to come out.
‘What the hell… should I say.’
I had no idea what she was going to say to me.
Originally, I should have thought about Glesia properly and visited it first, but I couldn’t. I was sorry for that, but I listened to what she had to say.
“…ha.”
When Glesia let out a deep sigh while suddenly shaking her head, my heart seemed to sink even more.
“I was also very embarrassed at the time why I acted like that…. I know my words sound strange to you… but at the time I felt I had to do that. I thought you wanted me to… er… kiss you.”
The words that followed were incoherent.
It seemed like an excuse for his actions, or it seemed like he was expressing the feelings in his heart.
“Glesia. Did you think you wanted me to do that?”
“Ah, yes… . Because I thought the words you said to me meant that. Now… I’m not really sure about that. Whether or not you really looked at me in that way is all… .”
While smiling awkwardly at my words, I try to answer somehow.
The fact that Glesia was working hard… I could see it at once. And I also vaguely felt something about Glessia’s attitude.
‘also… … .’
I thought that there might be a big problem with what I said and did.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about that quite a lot.
Well, looking back, it was strange.
There was not one person who had a heart for me now.
Coincidentally, several people have feelings for me at the same time and express their affection. In the process, they directly spoke their minds to me, or there were even people who felt like they wanted me to do so, like Glesia.
“There is agar. I think it’s weird too. I think it’s the right thing to say anyway. Because I think I can decide my attitude in the future only when I honestly hear your answer to why I kissed you then. So what do you think… of me?”
He asked in an awkward yet sincere voice.
Faced with Glesia, who looked at me with a voice full of deep worries… I asked back like an idiot.
“So, you… do you want to ask me about my heart?”
“that’s right. Yes, how do you feel…”
When I heard the confirmation, I burst out laughing without even realizing it.
It was really a laugh without reason, and it was like a smile that leaked out without my knowledge.
And the answer to that was fixed.
“I, too, from my heart… I have a crush on you. That’s quite a good feeling.”
There was no hesitation to the extent that even I was surprised when he said it.
Is it because Glesia has been honest with me first, revealing her heart and the reason for her actions… I also came to convey my heart as it is.
“… !”
Glesia, who opened her eyes wide at my answer, looked into her eyes and continued talking.
“We were obviously friends, and the time we spent with you. Because I didn’t feel bad about it. And I can’t deny that there are good feelings for you on the basis of that. So then. I must have acted that way too.”
Even as I said it, I thought it was a really strange feeling.
Glesia and I considered each other friends. However, I couldn’t deny that when I asked if there was a crush on each other based on that.
There were many times when I was shaken when Glesia suddenly said something to me, and even though I was surprised by her skinship, I accepted everything.
And just by accepting it, I liked her.
If I didn’t like her, I wouldn’t have accepted all of those actions.
“I see… Then I was right.”
“yes.”
Even though we were talking awkwardly with each other, the atmosphere was much more awkward than when we first met.
‘How will Glesia… accept it?’
Clearly… I thought that Glesia had feelings for me more than I feel for her now.
It was she who kissed me first. It’s a possible action because it’s much bigger than my heart.
But the current situation was strange.
I’ve already decided to keep the other two in mind.
It’s just the beginning of a relationship with them. I had to say that I had another woman.
“There, then… you know.”
“Glesia. Yes.”
When their voices overlapped like a coincidence, they hesitated before yielding.
“Tell me first, Glesia.”
“huh. I will… .”
Glessia nodded at my answer and was still staring at me with clear eyes.
Immediately after she turned to me, her gaze never left my eyes. So I couldn’t avoid her gaze.
Because I have to face her properly now and come up with an answer about our relationship.
If I gave her an excuse and did something that made her feel that way, I was also responsible for it.
“I will be very honest. Between us… I’m still not sure what’s going to happen. I still have a heart that I definitely think of you as a good friend… I’m glad that you accepted my actions well… Me too… that moment wasn’t bad.”
A hesitant yet cautious voice.
Even so, I hesitated a little at those eyes full of confusion.
I have feelings. You can be sure of that.
I vaguely felt it because I had been deeply troubled and agonized over my recent love relationship. In addition, even the fact that Glesia’s heart is shaking greatly right now.
She was looking for an answer from me now.
If we can still be friends.
Or should I go to a relationship beyond that?
The answer to the self who hesitates about it… .
“… … .”
As I was about to give an answer right away, a presence suddenly came to my mind.
—-Anastasia’s request.
The request she gave me seemed to hold me back now.
Anastasia had definitely told me. He said it would be really nice if I could be Glesia’s good friend, so he even made an unconventional suggestion, asking if there was something he would listen to.
And I answered that with confidence.
I’m not going to approach Glesia first, though I’m not sure if our relationship will remain friends. If Glesia approaches me, I will think about it properly then… … .
“Han Chun-seong… you know. Am I being very cowardly if I let you choose?”
When he didn’t say anything about that thought, Glesia blurted out his eyes and repeatedly asked.
Glesia was being cautious now. I hope you give an answer about our relationship. And I was worried that I would be burdened.
‘ha… .’
Even as I swallowed my sigh, it felt like my heart was creaking.
Their relationship with each other is confusing right now, and the root cause of the problem lies with me, not Glesia.
I couldn’t simply give her a like or dislike.
“Glesia, I have something I need to tell you first.”
…So I answered with the intention of revealing everything.
“What should I say?”
“About my situation now. I want you to listen to me properly… and decide our relationship. If I’m going to proceed with a relationship with you, that doesn’t seem like the right answer… yes.”
“If you want it to be… ok. say it.”
Even as I watched Glesia answer meticulously, I gently wiped my face.
From now on.
I had to tell the truth
All the truth without a single lie. I had to tell her everything about me.
…but my heart was heavy.
‘How should I look at Anastasia.’
What kind of answer Glesia will give me… I’m not sure, but I’m already worried.
If Glesia accepted even a country like this, I would never have had the slightest face to see Anastasia.
“Glesia. I have someone else right now.”