No, look, Mr. Yenica (2)
It’s been quite a while since I entered ＜Failed Sword Castle of Sylvania>, and I have been interacting with and building relationships with many people in this world as well.
In the process, some people got along well and became a special relationship, and there were many people who became kinked and twisted and became more subtle.
That’s what human relationships are all about. You can’t get along well with everyone.
lived a busy life
They say they are taking a break now, but there are only a handful of days when they first came to Aken Island and slept properly while rolling and rolling.
The reason I lived that way is simple. Because I had to survive.
A real and realistic threat to life came several times every semester.
Food shortages, suffering from cold or heat, or getting sick… . as well as a threat to survival
In the scenario, it is accompanied by a fight with the enemy at the risk of life… Indeed, every moment was a series of threats.
Reality is different from movies.
Time passes and the seasons change, even while clashing with the opposite sex as if on a school trip, enjoying the tightrope of a relationship, and clutching at a pounding heart.
While exchanging a friendly conversation and creating a plausible atmosphere, there is no such thing as the maintenance of the hut, the hunting traps that are spread out, or the waiting for the prey caught without corrosion.
I saw lovers exchanging words of love even on the battlefield where bullets were bouncing.
Only in the movie can it be a beautiful love story of two lovers who resist a harsh fate.
However, on the battlefield of reality, the meaning of love is nothing more or less than a weakness.
The tragedies of reality always happen suddenly without a double track.
One day, when you suddenly see the face of your lover on a stretcher, you see the beauty of a bullet pierced by a bullet, and the shape of an ugly pupil… The affectionate feeling of love turns into a curse and corrodes the body and mind.
The main character of the whole world acted as if it were him, but the spotlight never shined on himself.
Even the death of a lover is just used as a scene in the passing background, just like the deaths of other soldiers.
If you look at such a scene countless times, you will naturally realize who it is.
A situation in which the blade is inserted just below the neck. If there is a time when you have to struggle before death, you must focus all your mind on survival to survive.
How many times have you almost died just on this journey to Roth Taylor’s mansion?
The reason why he was able to continue to survive in the face of numerous death threats was because he focused only on surviving.
Because of that longing for survival, my comrades always called me ‘Croach’.
Even if you throw him naked in the middle of the desert, he will somehow survive and die after being expelled.
I always make self-suggestions.
Prioritize your work and do the necessary things first. I am a mechanical device that must be rational and rational anytime, anywhere.
Whether it’s a battlefield where countless people die, or an academy full of love and romance.
If there is a knife under my neck right now, the first thing I need to pay attention to is survival itself.
I lived like that until I got out of the battlefield and the poison was released a little bit, and there was hardly any shaking.
Cold reason has always clearly determined the weight and priorities of work.
― ‘A person whose heart is frozen.’
It was only then that the old story buried in the other side of my memory came to mind.
― ‘The harsh reality made you like that, but the world isn’t just cold snow and rain. Surprisingly, there are many sunny and warm days.’
― ‘But if you get used to looking up at the sky wet with snow and rain, it will rain tomorrow too… . It is the human psyche that has no choice but to think.’
― ‘I hope that one day you will meet someone who can melt the ice in your heart like snow.’
From noblemtl.com
Memories from the battlefield or memories after retirement? I can’t remember very well… It was a very sad voice.
― ‘Until then, even if it’s cold, I’ll keep my collar tight and hold up well. You are strong enough to do it.’
* * *
“Ed always has a lot of troubles, but this time it feels different.”
Yenica Palerover over the bonfire spoke with a heavy, serious face.
Sadly, the reason I am so embarrassed is not that heavy and serious. It’s simply because he’s thinking about how to react to Merylda’s whims.
If you can fit in with Merylda’s whim, who pushes her back to kiss Yenika, it might be enough to match her.
The time to be ashamed of kissing and to have a full body is over in no time. If you want to, you can grab Yenica’s lower jaw right now and swipe her lips.
However, we should also consider the position of Yenika, who is suffering.
After kissing you right away, you’ll be puzzled as to what this is.
Once I find out that Merylda’s shallow whim has pushed her back and took my lips, I don’t think I’ll ever feel happy.
In order to dig up information about the remains of the highest spirit that Merylda knows, the act of casually kissing a person… In a way, this is irresponsible behavior.
If you are not familiar with it at all, Yenica Palerover is a colleague I have lived with for the longest time since I came to this world. I don’t want to be treated badly.
If so, wouldn’t it be enough to just kiss as a person to person? Regardless of Merylda’s whims, that aside.
well Looking back, it is not so.
No matter what I thought, when Yenika learned the truth, it was obvious that she thought I had kissed me on Merylda’s whims.
Then there is only one last possibility.
He tells Yenica all these facts and asks if he can kiss me as a request.
… I’m not an expert on dating, but I know that the last number is the worst.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you, Yenika. I think this is a problem that I will have to ponder slowly on my own.”
After talking like that, I tried to mask the conversation with Yenika.
However, to Yenica, whether it was conveyed in a different way, she suddenly inflated her cheeks and opened her eyes wide.
“… really?”
Am I heartbroken?
I thought we were able to share everything deep inside, but the fact that there is a hidden part in the crucial part isn’t very pleasantly accepted… Yenika started grunting.
“Ugh!”
For a while, Yenika made a strange noise as she pounded her feet.
From my point of view, I have nothing to say. There is no choice but to stare at Yenika as if embarrassed.
“… Ed, can I ask you a strange question this time?”
“… Do whatever you want.”
“I’m now debating whether it’s better to ask Ed more and make him talk about his worries somehow, or if it’s better to pretend he doesn’t see him.”
“… Are you talking to me about it?”
Yenika sighed deeply, grunting.
Then he looked up at the sky, as if he was choosing something to say, and thought carefully.
The sun is setting at some point. In fact, from my point of view, it feels like dinner has finally come.
After entering the rest period, the day became noticeably longer. It is a luxurious feeling to be wasting each day that I used to save it by splitting it into several equal parts.
“I’m afraid Ed will be bothered.”
Did you suddenly succeed in condensing the chosen words into one sentence? Yenika spoke again.
“What?”
“I don’t want Ed to be a burden.”
From my point of view, I don’t understand how you came to such a conclusion through what kind of thinking.
In fact, the human Yenica Palerover has always wanted to be helpful to me, but almost never did any harm.
It’s not for Yenica to worry about being bothersome or burdensome… Isn’t that something the people around him should be worried about when dealing with Yenica?
When such worries came out of an unexpected person, I looked at Yenika with an absurd look.
“Sir, you look complicated… Ed.”
“No matter what I say, you will take it as polite comfort. I was thinking about how to say it so that it doesn’t feel like that.”
“That’s right… ?”
“Well, I guess I have no choice but to talk straight-forward. How you take it is up to you.”
Having said that, I, too, looked at the setting sky and spoke casually.
“You’ve never been a burden to me, Yenika.”
Not too bloated, but not too bland.
Telling the truth as it is is the answer to most problems in the world.
“It’s just that.”
Yenica listened to this and stared blankly at the fire for a moment, then smiled softly.
Is it a sense of satisfaction that blooms? Or is it a feeling of relief?
In fact, I can’t really pinpoint which one it is. The human heart is like that fluttering bonfire, that it shakes here and there.
Since emotions are so complex, it is impossible to say with certainty that the psychology behind Yenika’s warm smile is one thing.
Fortunately, he doesn’t look worried.
“I see… .”
In the words that followed, I realized that I had dug my own grave.
“Then I will question Ed!”
“… What?”
“What is your concern? What! Say it quickly!”
Did you choose the wrong option?
Yenika is talking while shaking her arms with a pale face.
“Ed’s worries are also mine, so tell me quickly!”
And Yenika put down her cane and her luggage, whimpered and took a small wooden chair from the corner of the camp, and sat down in front of me, facing me.
It must have been quite hot on the back because she was close to the fire, but Ignoring it, Yenika sat with my eyes on me.
“… … .”
“I won’t move until you tell me.”
“Then I get sweaty on my back. Aren’t you bored… .”
“It’s even more frustrating to see Ed struggling with his head wrapped around himself!”
When we got to this point, Yenika was even more stubborn as she clenched her teeth and stomped on the floor.
When you get to this point, you can’t say anything or just ignore it. I should have rather not brought up the story in the first place.
As I pondered over and over again, I decided to open my mouth.
“Well, if we think about any problem together, we can find a solution in no time! Ed, don’t grieve too much, just tell me… .”
“Can you kiss me once?”
Yenika couldn’t finish her words, and she froze in that posture.
* * *
“Me, Merylda is so… Why are you talking about such useless things? .”
Wasn’t the color of human skin red, not flesh?
Yenica, who had been stubbornly standing right in front of me with her back to the bonfire just before, widened her distance as if she had always been, and went to a flat rock in the distance and turned and sat.
The face does not turn blush, and the skin tone itself changes, and the same words are repeated.
“Wow, it’s definitely worth worrying about Ed… . All, because the party is in front… . No, but then, for a moment, how far did Merylda talk… ? uh… ?”
I couldn’t even intervene recklessly as they were gibbling so much that I couldn’t tell if they were talking to me or talking to myself.
However, I conveyed the points I was worried about without adding or subtracting.
Even if Merylda pushes her back and kisses Yenika like this, it will only be a deception for Yenika.
I am not a person who ate so badly that he wanted a reward and played with people’s hearts.
However, there is one thing to make sure of here.
“It feels like an overabundance of self-consciousness, but if we keep talking about it… .”
As I slowly opened my mouth, Yenika glanced at me. The sitting posture in some places is as if you are in an important position.
“that… you to me… what… Whether you have feelings… I know roughly… . In fact, not knowing is absurd.”
“S, stop! mm, stop it for now!”
Yenica covered her mouth with a trembling hand, avoiding her gaze.
It is pitiful to see them trembling and trembling as if they had become herbivores in front of predators.
“Ed, I can’t breathe… .”
“… … .”
“That, yes… What… ! That’s it! yes! I am… Well… How could you be so kind to Ed without any heart?! In fact, it’s normal! It’s not like we’re talking about setting the mood and feeling embarrassed, right? Ooh, we’re all grown up! Why are you acting so awkwardly! evil! Aww!”
Her eyes are full of Yenika, who looks more nervous than anyone else in the world as she speaks like that.
It’s probably because of Yenika’s side that makes me nod my head despite the evaluation that she’s a girl who looks like she came out of a fairy tale.
However, if Yenica Palerover is a girl like the main character in a fairy tale, I am a cockroach struggling in the gutter of reality.
After chewing the cud, there is a part that can be seen.
“I’m sorry. Because I am such a person.”
“Yes… ?”
“I lived a long time in an environment where I was in a hurry to survive, so I had to put off everything else.”
On the other hand, it is the weight of the tragedies I have seen.
Those who saw the sight of a loved one being shot and carried on a stretcher collapsed together.
The reason I had an antipathy to such a figure was not because I was pathetic about being in a relationship even though my life was on the brink of imminent danger.
For a person who might die at any moment to recklessly communicate with others is because that in itself puts a burden on it.
In a situation where I cannot take responsibility for even my own life, am I not thinking at all about the position of the person who will face my death?
The pain of a broken heart is temporary, but it will be healed someday, but the pain of loss is much more likely to last a lifetime.
It’s even more difficult to stand up on your feet, and you’ll usually fall down without being able to overcome it.
Had I known that, I should have acted more cautiously.
You shouldn’t have interacted with other people carelessly.
have gone through many trials.
The script was twisted a lot, and the development was twisted a lot, but… Anyway, I came this far by keeping my life alive.
The battle for the imperial power, the family civil war, and the subjugation of Velbrok. Even the remaining trials have been running long enough to be easily lifted with one hand, but as is the case with trials, the remaining trials boast a more severe level of difficulty than the ones that have been overcome.
If I can finish all the ordeals and really hold this Sylvanian diploma in my hands.
If I can leave Aken Island and live my life fully with all the abilities I have accumulated, many careers, and personal connections… .
If all the disasters set in the scenario of ＜Sylvania’s Failed Swordsman> are resolved, and I can stand on my own two feet in this world… .
When that time comes, I will break free from the fear of death… Will we be able to envision a bigger future?
Will the day come when we will be able to move away from worrying about ‘how to survive’ and move on to ‘how to live’?
“I became such a person because I lived like that. It’s not like I’m a human being that I really like.”
There was the sound of twigs burning from the bonfire.
At some point, the sun was setting, and the night spirit was slowly creeping in.
As usual at night in the northern forest, it is truly peaceful from a distance.
This camp, which naturally permeates in the meantime, also seemed to have become a part of the forest at some point.
“Don’t say that, Ed.”
Yenika’s expression suddenly looked at her, and her expression was very calm. At the same time, it looked sad.
The red energy has also gone down a lot, and I feel like I have regained my composure.
“Ed isn’t as cold-blooded as I thought he was.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s not just words. Ed did it earlier. I’m worried that no matter what I say, I’ll take it as polite comfort. That’s how I feel right now.”
Yenika turned around again and looked straight at me.
“The reason why Ed was so troubled and embarrassed was to be considerate of me. As Ed said, if Merylda’s whims had led me to kiss her, I must have felt very strange. All right now… I’d be happy… .”
“… … .”
“Hey, that’s a bit silly… . Ha, anyway… Ed was right. exactly… Me, Merylda! You’ve done something so useless! It’s okay, it’s okay… Don’t make me worry like this!”
Again, Yenika trembled at the tip of her lips and began to gasp for breath.
“anyway… Pretend I didn’t say what I just said, Yenika. As I said, kissing you like this isn’t polite to you, and you don’t need to play with Merylda’s whims.”
“Eh, Ed… But, the remains of the spirit that Merylda spoke of… Is it really necessary?”
The remains of the highest spirit.
It’s a mysterious artifact that will dramatically increase the stats related to spirits, which is slowly growing slowly, but… There are many ways to find out by roasting Merylda.
There is no reason to stick with this method.
“I’ll take care of it, so you just… pretend you didn’t hear Actually, you’re okay and I’m not okay before. I don’t really want to use you as a tool.”
“Eh, Ed. That’s nice, but… . In fact, I came up with a groundbreaking method.”
“… What?”
Yenika took a deep breath and continued speaking in a hesitant tone, as if reading an awkward line.
“In short, Ed was considerate of me and thought so, didn’t he? Even if they told me that I was okay, they said that I didn’t want to do anything nasty like they used me to eat… ?”
Having said that, Yenika swung down from the rock and came up to me and talked to me.
“Actually, the solution is easier than you think.”
“I’m anxious… .”
“Hey, you can change the subject of your actions… .”
“What?”
“Not Ed, but me.”
It happened before I even answered what he meant.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my breath stopped momentarily.
As for Yenika, she has a timid temperament and often hesitates in everything.
However, there were many times when the situation reached an extreme or when a quick decision was needed, there were also times when he showed daring determination.
I didn’t know that such a temperament would work until this time.
For a while, only the crowing of grasshoppers spread through the forest. Other than that, there is only silence.
There were only two mouths to talk to, because both were blocked.
“Huh… .”
Yenika, who took a quick step backwards after work, covered her mouth and breathed alone.
He widened his eyes and glanced into my eyes a few times, and then, as if he had worked it out, was flexing his shoulders tightly by himself.
“… that… Yeni… .”
“Ahh! I’m tired! I came by boat from my hometown and I’m so tired! I feel like I’m going to fall! See you tomorrow!”
Before I could say anything, Yenika ran into her hut in a fuss.
It was because of the fact that even if we just made eye contact right away, our breathing was getting worse.
Then, with a bang, the door to the cabin closed.
“no… .”
Left alone in front of the bonfire, I looked at the poker that had fallen to the floor.
“… Look… .”
Shouldn’t my position be given some time to talk?
From my point of view, it was like a blue sky… It was difficult to grasp the situation right away.
anyway… There is a strange sense of awkwardness.
The problem is that Yenica and I live next door.
The appearance of Yenica, who raised her shoulders and dropped fuss, was good even when they made eye contact. From tomorrow onwards, I have to keep seeing your face… It was a huge accident.
If I had put an iron plate on my face and asked if I was okay now, I would have responded appropriately.
If you run away like this… what do i mean… .
Worried starting tomorrow morning, I wiped my face over and over again.
NOW KITH
A KITH