193 – 38. About yourself
“……That’s how it happened.”
Slurp.
After taking one sip of the prepared black tea, I put down the cup.
I knew it was rude to drink a single shot of high-quality black tea, but I didn’t pay much attention to it because my stomach was burning more than that.
The other party also…… Out of consideration for me, they served me some tea that was lukewarm.
“You’ve worked hard, junior.”
“I am always grateful to Senior Samuel.”
The person who listened to my concerns in the student council president’s office was Samuel Lipson, an Arab student.
He is Lily Whiterose’s subordinate and vice-student council president, and he is a powerful figure who leads the student council behind Lily, who is practically a face.
No matter how little the student council does, his competence is certain, but more than that, he is someone who goes through a lot of trouble because he sincerely follows Lily.
Because he was the only one left in this spacious student council president’s room.
“Hey, Chairman Lily…?”
“Hmm… It’s obvious. This time, is it your Korean Empire historical drama? I was hooked while watching the drama…”
“Yes?”
“Are you an undercover envoy? Anyway, I went there to do that. Even though it’s a private sanction, it’s not much different from what I usually do…”
Samuel sighed and picked up a mountain of documents piled up next to him.
His eyes darkened as he read the densely written letters.
“This…Is a claim for damages for destruction of a building. This is a complaint for violence…This is a claim for compensation for psychological damage? Anyway, it varies.”
“…Are you handling it all by yourself?”
“Well, isn’t it? Actually, it’s not that difficult. Legal issues are handled by the Whiterose family. However, Whiterose doesn’t provide support for compensation for property damage…”
Well. In the first place, she is Lily, who lives off of the scholarship she receives as the student council president because the living expenses provided by White Rose were cut off.
It’s a problem like a lawsuit, and it could expand to the entire White Rose, and it could turn into a muddy fight, so even if that were the case, it would be a gesture to take care of personal compensation.
So, does that mean Samuel is managing Lily’s property and paying it back?
“…Do you have any debt?”
“It’s worth it. Even if we were to give it a scholarship, how much would it be? I and the other kids are orphans who were saved by Chairman Lily, so there’s no way we have any money… We mainly borrow a lot from you.”
“Yes? On our side?”
“He’s a mega-rich guy. He’s famous in the lending industry. Credit information, collateral, circumstances, borrowers, bank accounts… He lends out huge sums of money without worrying about such things at all. He’s not confident that he’ll get ripped off. That’s true in reality as well.”
“Ah…….”
“Still, I’m running something like stocks, so I’m paying interest on a regular basis… Oh, sorry.”
“Ugh, no, senior.”
Stocks.
If you do it well, you can achieve a virtuous cycle like Samuel, increasing your wealth and paying off your debts.
…… My appearance was a bit funny.
“Isn’t it my fault?”
“…Well, no matter how you think about it, it’s not your fault that you took all your money and pretended to lose it and hid it.”
“Rather than that… The problem was that I was trying to pay off my debt quickly.”
I did not tell Samuel everything.
That I came from another world, or that I was looking for a way to return.
What I consulted with him was to remove that part and change it.
“That’s not it.”
“…Senior?”
“2,700 Trillion…Well, it’s definitely an astronomical amount of debt. It’s virtually impossible to repay, but if you have a debt, you want to repay it quickly, right?”
“Uh…….”
“I didn’t hear the details of what happened at the church, but it was something worth owing that amount of money, wasn’t it?”
“……….”
I see…… Did.
If 2 trillion dollars had not been mobilized to change the Pope’s mind, Eileen’s intervention and refutation of the former God would have all been useless.
It was the most necessary amount and the most appropriate place to change the mind of the utilitarian Pope in a short period of time.
Even now, I have no regrets about being in debt. Although there are none.
“Still, a debt is a debt, right?”
“What’s wrong with trying to pay off your debt quickly? It’s normal for creditors to keep trying to keep you owed, and for debtors to try to pay off their debt quickly. You don’t have to blame yourself.”
“……Yes.”
Samuel’s words…… It was extremely sincere.
Could he say that because he doesn’t know the context?
‘I guess not.’
What am I thinking in the first place?
Do you really think it’s my fault? Are you blaming me because I can’t believe I was betrayed by the first friends I made? Or is it pointless nonsense and self-sacrifice?
Once again, I realize that I am in a truly mediocre state.
‘I am a fortune teller even though I hate fortune telling, and the only thing I know how to do is fraud and deceit, so I use it to beat myself up.’
It’s the same this time too. Living in such contradiction, I am not even sure how I feel or what my emotions are.
‘I…’ … ‘Are you angry?’
Or are you resigned?
Fortune teller, Namgoong Min, fortune teller, Namgoong Min, fortune teller………
‘…… ‘That’s funny.’
If this was going to be the case, why shouldn’t Have been accepted in America, in that abandoned city hall?
Anguish over identity, agony over contradictions, self-hatred towards myself.
Well…… It’s complicated and difficult.
“…You seem to have a lot to worry about, junior.”
“I guess…That’s right. At first it was a question about my assets and debts, but it gradually grew into a question about myself.”
In the end, self-employment is rewarding.
The karma of putting aside the worries and thoughts that I had been harboring until now to focus on the problem in front of me.
Look at what I have achieved so far. Among them, was there anything that did not involve incitement, fraud, or deception?
…… Does not exist. And even though I knew it, I was ignoring it.
It is just time to fully face that rejection, karma, and backlash.
‘Again…… ‘Maybe we can postpone it.’
You can just laugh this off, receive a reasonable apology, and put it off again.
But how long should I do that?
How long until we meet Jisoo and return to the original world?
──Just, you can’t go back…… ?
…… Leaving Liu, Lane, Eunha, Eileen, Seongnyeo, Seongja, Lucas, Kim Seong-il, and all the people I have built relationships and memories with?
To that original world?
“Ah…”
My head hurts. It hurts and it hurts.
In the first place…… Why did I have to worry about all this?
‘Because I came across as a fortune teller?’
Because the only job left was fortune telling?
Well, in the first place.
Why did Jisoo call me to this world?
For what reason?
‘I…’ … ‘What were you doing before you came over?’
Probably, I was just going to my part-time job.
I was a little tired and tired because I had been working hard all day, but I was still walking steadily…… Did you throw it?
I don’t remember well. Is it because it happened a year ago?
…… In the end, it spins around and returns to Jisoo again.
Yes, I have to meet Jisoo. For that, you must use the developer’s room key you obtained this time.
And for him.
Once I have finished the debt and lingering regrets that remain in this world──
“…Oh, my.”
This is my first time again.
──Please remember, Namgoong Min oppa.
──That I, a person, gained life thanks to my brother.
‘Eileen.’
I guess I wasn’t as strong as you thought.
…… I stood up quietly.
“Let’s go now?”
“I’m still confused, but I can’t continue to be dependent on this… I need to think about it slowly again.”
Even so, I doubt whether I can come to a conclusion on my own.
I was about to leave the student council room with a bitter smile on my face, but Samuel stopped me with the corners of his mouth slightly raised.
“Well, junior.”
“…Yes?”
“You said earlier that it’s about worrying about yourself, right? Normally, even if you think about such worries on your own, you can’t come to a conclusion. Rather, you end up falling into a quagmire.”
“……….”
“That’s why you need advice from others. What defines a person as a junior is not only the junior himself, but also the junior as seen by others.”
“But even if it’s just advice…”
“I’m not talking about those kids who tricked me. I also had someone who helped me when I had a similar problem as you.”
“Yes?”
“Ah, it’s coming back slowly.”
Boom!
Before Samuel could finish speaking, Lily kicked down his front door and came in, laughing wildly.
He was wearing pure white full plate armor that was somewhat crumpled and damaged.
“hahahaha! Lily Whiterose of the highest mountain, a knight among secret royal inspectors, has returned!”
“You’re back, Chairman. What about the other two?”
“The servants are still weak, so I left them at the hospital to help them become true knights! They weren’t seriously injured, so that will also serve as a foundation for them to become knights!”
“……President Lily?”
“Oh! You are the external advisor of external advisors and a junior fortune teller from the highest city! This Lily Whiterose welcomes external advisors!”
After making that declaration, Lily Whiterose laughed so loudly.
At that shocking appearance, even my momentary worries were blown away, and I made a truly subtle expression.
Samuel was naturally talking to Lily as if he was used to it.
“The armor is pretty damaged.”
“Hmm! Among the wicked thieves, there was a mix of people with professions. How dare a man with the profession of Plunder civilians! I couldn’t understand what he was doing, so I personally judged him like a knight.”
“It’s a thief inside the gate. Well, it’s not that bad.”
I was wondering where he had been so he would say something like a thief, but I was wondering if he had been inside the gate.
I heard that vicious job holders or various criminals stay inside the gate to avoid investigation and often attack people coming from nearby villages or entering the gate.
‘But the secret inspector…… Am I right?’
I think I just did my best to be chivalrous.
“Anyway, what’s going on with you, our junior among our external advisors and a fortune teller from the highest city? Did you come here to become a knight!?”
“Oh, no. Just consult with Samuel…”
“Consultation on concerns! Listening to other people’s concerns and resolving them is also a virtue of a knight! If the concerns of someone as smart as our external advisors are concerned, it is bound to be difficult! Lily Whiterose of the highest mountain will take care of those concerns. I’ll solve it!”
Even though the tension is a bit high and she is crazy about chivalry, Lily is a good person.
From Noble mtl dot com
It’s a bit burdensome to speak with your face pressed in, but……
‘Samuel also said to listen to the advice of others.’
Well, it’s better than not listening at all.
She spoke to Lily similarly to what she had said to Samuel.
2700 Trillion in debt, me trying to pay it off as quickly as possible, my friends pretending to lose all my money and hiding it, and the worries about myself that started from there.
Even though quite a few parts of the story were omitted, Lily listened with a very serious attitude, rather than a loud laugh or high tension.
Perhaps it was because of his unexpected attitude that I was able to talk with a little immersion.
“… So, in the end, I am so contradictory and don’t know what kind of person I am…”
“……That’s natural, junior.”
“Yes?”
“What kind of person in the world can clearly define themselves? People change over time and due to small incidents.”
“……….”
“Even this knight among knights was extremely weak when he was young. Although he was a , He was the weakest and weakest among his peers, so I had no confidence and did not love myself.”
“…Is it real?”
“Nothing. A novel about a knight I happened to pick up when he was being ridiculed as the disgrace of the Whiterose family… That became my dream. People can change even with such trivial things, or at most with just one book.”
“……………….”
“So, what am I like now? A knight among knights, Lily Whiterose of the highest mountain? Is that my identity? Will that continue until I die? Is there a difference between the person I was as a child and the person I am now?”
“……Ah.”
“The junior’s story seemed to be somewhat limited. That’s natural since it was about himself. But even with that, I could feel that the junior was seriously thinking about himself. I want to praise my junior for that alone. Girl.”
Sigh.
Lily looked at me with a charming, charming smile rather than her usual boisterous smile.
Now, she wasn’t crazy about chivalry, she wasn’t the student council president of Romance Academy, and she wasn’t what I saw in the game.
She was just a senior who was a little older than me and had gone through a lot more troubles.
She did not call me her external advisor, but called me her junior and was giving me her own advice.
“Junior, life is full of worries. I don’t know about other people, but that’s what I think. Some people may think that you are wandering around and spending a lot of time on useless worries.”
“……….”
“At least in my opinion, the junior is making excellent progress.”
“……………….”
“One day, the day will come when the junior will give his or her own answer. The answer may become a guideline for the junior’s life, or a brief milestone.”
“……Yes.”
“But the day will never come when the process of coming up with an answer becomes useless. So don’t worry, junior. There is nothing wrong with you now, and someday you will come up with your own answer.”
“So until that day comes.”
“You should think hard and think about it again.”
“The longer the junior thinks, the more valuable the answer will be.”
“Until the day we find the answer, Lily Whiterose will support Namgoong Min.”