I Became a Person Who Wanted To Drop Out of the Academy chapter 67

67 – Episode 67 – Princess, Alice Tarot 9 –

Episode 67 – Princess, Alice Tarot 9 –

The princess showed no particular reaction to my words.

And that’s why I continued speaking.

“Your Highness, death isn’t as painful as you might think. It’s just the process leading to death that can be painful. Some people try to avoid death, thinking that death itself is painful… but death itself is not painful.”

“Have you experienced it…?”

“Yes, a long time ago, long before I was born in ‘this place.'”

Death itself is not much different from falling asleep.

However, the body that reaches death is often in a terrible state, which is why it can be painful.

“It was quite a long time ago. There was a man who lived. That boy was destined to live a normal life and die a normal death. At least, that’s what he thought.”

“What are you trying to say…?”

“But ironically, life can be truly capricious. He fell ill, even though he hadn’t committed any particular sins. It was a terrible disease that threatened his life, lung cancer.”

So, I quit smoking after being reborn.

Humans have infinite possibilities because they learn lessons from the past.

“That world was different from this one. There was no sacred power, no magic, no aura, nothing of the sort. Medicine had advanced, but there were still quite a few diseases that, despite treatment, meant certain death.”

In South Korea, the disease that kills the most people is cancer.

There are many incurable diseases even with modern medicine.

But the ironic thing is that modern medicine, even if it doesn’t guarantee a cure, can offer the possibility of maintaining life.

Modern medicine also prioritizes that aspect.

“The people in that world found a different way. They couldn’t guarantee a cure, but they found a way to hold onto their lives.”

“Of course, the illness wouldn’t go away, and it was painful, but at least I could stay alive. However, it wasn’t really living.”

Humans feared death.

That’s why they tried to avoid it.

The biggest reason why humans feared death was the painful process leading to it.

It might also be because no one had ever experienced death.

I was the same.

So, I tried to stay alive.

Because I was afraid.

“When I first got sick, people around me visited me often. Friends, family, coworkers… many people visited. But you see…

People need hope to have a reason, a motivation. Without hope, they give up.

A body deteriorating day by day, a dying soul, excruciating pain. Eventually, people turned away from me.”

Some of them may have felt that there was no hope for me to survive.

Some might not have wanted to see me suffering so painfully.

Only they know the truth.

“Being kept alive without a cure. Living was painful.”

That’s why I could endure torture.

I was more hopeful and less in pain than when I was just living day by day without hope.

And through those series of events, I had no choice but to adopt a different way of thinking, because the mindset of a soldier on the battlefield and that of a conscientious objector are not the same.

“Your Highness, honor, wealth, or anything else, none of it can accompany you to the world beyond death.

If there is an afterlife, those who are even more honorable will overflow, and having much wealth is as worthless as a piece of metal in the netherworld.”

So, I didn’t really care about honor, the gazes of those around me, or wealth.

What mattered was the purpose.

If it’s necessary to achieve the purpose, I’ll obtain it.

If it’s not necessary to achieve the purpose, I’ll discard it.

“All humans die. So, if the purpose becomes something you can’t take with you… in the end, it’ll all be in vain. I can say this even if others can’t.”

The reason is simple.

Even if others can’t, I have the right.

Because I am…

“I was born in a different world, lived for 27 years and died from illness, and was reborn as the son of the Marquis of Mentutihothep.”

Alice just looked at me.

I also looked at Alice.

We were two people who could only feel each other in the darkness.

All our senses were communicating with each other.

“Because I am Abraxas Mentutihothep.”

Who am I really? I have been pondering over this for a long time.

Am I a human who lived in South Korea?

Or am I Abraxas Mentutihothep?

It was all pointless.

Because I am me.

Even the most important element in shaping a human’s identity, which is the name, is determined not by oneself but by others.

Even some people change their names.

Identity is determined by me.

There is no need to entrust my identity to a name decided by others.

I am Abraxas Mentutihothep.

And I am also a human who lived in South Korea.

I am not a different existence.

Because humans are beings that naturally undergo changes.

Alice, who heard my explanation, had a confused expression in her mind, perhaps finding it difficult to explain.

Of course.

No one would simply believe the fact that I have lived for decades in a different world.

They might think it’s a fabricated story.

But it doesn’t matter.

I will proceed.

As long as the Princess keeps her promise.

Finally, as her thoughts seemed to be somewhat organized, the Princess spoke again.

“Then… why are you still alive? You seemed to have a purpose.

As you said, you can’t take honor, wealth, or love with you to the afterlife. So… what were you fighting for?”

The Princess’s question.

And it was also a precise critique of my actions.

If, as I’ve said, honor, wealth, life, love, none of them hold any meaning,

I have no reason to live.

It’s strange to say I live just because I was born.

I’ve been striving all this time.

And I’ve already defined it.

The reason I live.

[Are you going to leave something in this world, just like your parents left you in this world, A-yoon?]

[Yes! Uncle, you should leave something in Korea too! I’ll take good care of it!]

The reason I live is

to leave something in this world.

No, it’s not just me, it’s the reason everyone lives.

It’s to leave a mark on this land.

“Princess, humans use words, right? They live to leave something in the world.

The reason for giving birth to children, the reason for leaving a philosophy, the reason for leaving a skill. It’s all to leave their mark in this world.”

Don’t let honor, wealth, love, and the like become the sole purpose, it means not making them the sole purpose.

Not for the sake of acquiring honor but to leave a mark in history.

Not for the sake of acquiring wealth but for one’s business to have an impact in this world.

Not for the sake of acquiring love but to have descendants who will be remembered in the future.

If you seek honor, wealth, and love to leave your mark in this world, it doesn’t matter.

I will leave my mark in this world.

“Princess, in the world I lived in, there were people who set fire to libraries in order to be recorded in history.

You can’t take anything with you after death, but on the contrary, you can leave something before you die.”

Many people actually live like that.

I’m not afraid of death.

Because I’ve already experienced it.

But I’m afraid of leaving nothing behind.

Because I’ve made a promise.

“Then what is your purpose? What have you worked so hard to leave behind?”

The princess asked me about my purpose.

I don’t know if she acknowledged me.

I may consider it to be empty talk from a madman.

But since she asked, I should answer.

My purpose is clear.

“This world.”

This world.

“Leaving behind this world.”

Leaving behind this world.

“Fame? Recognition? Those things aren’t important. What’s important is the truth. That I left something behind in this world. That’s enough.

It wouldn’t mean anything if I left something behind but this world didn’t remain. So, I will leave this world itself.”

It is not a moral concept to save the world.

I am not that moral.

If sacrificing my life can save thousands of lives, then I would do it.

But if I need to make an effort to save it?

And if others can do it too?

Well… that is the entirety of my morality.

But the reason I live is to leave my legacy in this world.

And if I can leave this world itself as a legacy?

Then I will act.

Because I can leave behind a valuable legacy above all else.

“Princess. So if you come back to life, please use the notebook I mentioned earlier. It contains information about future enemies, various disasters, and their weaknesses.

And at the very end, please write down my name. Abraxas Mentuitohen, the savior of humanity.”

If I save the princess and in turn, the world is saved.

I will become a legacy in this world.

It would be better if I saved her directly.

But if the revived princess saves the world, that can also be considered a legacy I left behind.

When I meet Ayun after I die, we will have stories to tell.

So, I will die here and save the princess.

“Then… why is it that only I can survive… either both survive… or is there no way for you to survive?”

The princess spoke as if she didn’t understand.

I suppose it’s because I don’t understand why I have to sacrifice myself.

“If the princess had her full strength, we would have fought against each other. But that’s not the case, is it?

And if I could have survived by abandoning the princess, I would have done so. But it’s impossible.”

From Noble mtl dot com

The power that descends upon the royal family, the aura of dominance, is the power to dominate beings of a certain level below oneself.

And the princess is a being who possesses such a strong power that she can control her actions.

But the reason she cannot use that power is because she cannot control such a powerful force and would end up destroying the object of her dominance.

It’s not that she is weak.

“If I somehow weaken the adversaries… the princess will be able to safely escape as the aura of dominance.”

The opposite is impossible.

Since the aura of dominance can only be exerted when the level is lowered, it won’t have any effect until I weaken the adversaries.

Even if the weak ones disappear, the strong ones remain, so I cannot survive.

But if I make the strong ones weak, the princess can escape.

It would be great if both of us could survive.

But if only the princess can survive, I will sacrifice my life for her.

“So please, survive. I won’t regret my choice. I have already experienced it.”

Suddenly, a heavenly sword appears from the sky.

The celestial sword, shining brightly, stands before me, illuminating the room with a faint glow.

And finally, we can see each other.

Me, smiling brightly, and Alice, soaked in tears.

Our faces intersect in the reflection of the celestial sword.

I move the celestial sword to cut the rope that binds me.

And I also cut the princess’s rope.

In the situation where we are both free, I bid farewell to the princess.

“I will attack the strongest individuals as much as possible… So when you think I’m dead, come out. The people here are all villains, so you can kill them all.

So please don’t hesitate to use the aura of dominance.”

“Do not go…”

“I don’t enjoy pain either, you know? So just live. Please don’t say that you’ll fight with me and help me.

If the princess, who cannot use the aura of dominance, ends up being just a burden. She can even lose a fight. So please, I beg you.”

The princess grabbed my hand at those words.

But she didn’t express any opinion.

“I know.

I couldn’t tell her not to go, even though I wanted to.

Tears welled up in the princess’s eyes, but I had to push her hand away and move forward.

It was time for battle.

To decorate my final moments.

I bid her farewell, a farewell that could be the last before I left.

“Alice Tantalotha. You are one of the most unique people I’ve ever met. You were one of the highest, but you weren’t arrogant at all. That attitude was truly admirable.

So, if you continue to maintain that attitude, you’ll eventually succeed. You can trust my judgment, having experienced it in two dimensions simultaneously.”

Farewell then.

Leaving those words behind, I departed from the princess.

Perhaps the last time I’ll see her.

It doesn’t matter.

I’ve already made up my mind.

“Ah, Yuna. I’ll come to meet you soon… Oh. You haven’t died yet, have you? We’ll have a lot to talk about when you come to meet me later.”

I gathered my resolve once more and continued walking.

“There’s no way to survive…”

The princess despaired in such a situation.

Why did this happen?

The princess was not at fault.

The root of the problem could be traced back to the sinister cult hidden among the professors and the academy’s negligence.”

However, the princess continued to blame herself.

If only she had been a little stronger.

If she had been strong enough to help Abraxas.

Or if she had used her dominion aura more effectively to manipulate him earlier on.

The idea that she could have been helpful in their battle tormented the princess.

“I can’t do anything…”

Objectively, there was nothing she could do here.

Her dominion aura was only capable of destruction, not control.

If she had intervened, she would only be a hindrance.

Even if she could have exerted normal dominion, she might have been able to provoke discord between them.

But it was impossible for the princess.

All she could do was pray to the gods.

She didn’t believe in miracles, but there was nothing else she could do, so she prayed to the gods.

She asked for strength, not for herself.

Not just power, but for help.

If she was closest to omnipotence in this current state where the demon was sealed, she begged for assistance.

For the first time, the princess began to pray.

“I beg you… to have mercy on this poor lamb and grant me the strength to escape from my future…”

The prayer escaped from the princess’s lips.

“One lamb is suffering. It doesn’t matter if you don’t give me the strength to escape this world. It’s okay for me to struggle in pain.”

The princess didn’t have sincere faith in the gods.

There was nothing more absurd than the leaders of this empire clinging to the gods.

The reason for believing in the gods was to achieve something.

But the noble families of the empire had no need to achieve anything unless they harmed each other.

And even these nobles didn’t believe in the gods for the most part because they had to win with their own abilities.

“Even if it’s painful, even if it’s tiring, even if it’s agonizing. It’s okay. However… However…”

However, the reason faith was born was because when one couldn’t do something alone, they needed something to rely on.

Because life doesn’t always go as planned.

“Deliver me from evil…”

A nobleman lowered himself and prayed to the gods for something he could never achieve.

Because it was something he could never achieve.

Ironically, reality is not a novel.

Miracles do not happen to most people.

But the reason miracles are called miracles is because they are not impossible.

[So, why are you crying like that?]

Miracles happen in reality.

Abraxas rescued an angel from Mount Mugak.

Even though he lost his qualification as an angel, he gained freedom as a price, Petroel.

She appeared in front of the princess of her own will.