228 – One’s own identity
‘I should do my job properly.’
Even though he had to take on the role of a clown, Ed did his best to rehearse.
He put his all into spitting out harsh words that would break Lucas and Claire’s mentality.
Then Eve and Elena, who had been laughing at Ed’s clown appearance, also turned serious.
Because Ed knew the devil better than anyone else, I was horrified to see Ed act with such determination.
“···Perfect. “Even though I know you’re in there, it feels like a real, real devil.”
Ed, who literally came together as one and created a virtual devil.
Elena stroked her chin and acknowledged Ed’s talent.
If his magic and the Emperor’s ‘space control’ are added to this, anyone would have no choice but to be deceived.
“Your clowning is quite interesting.”
But then.
The emperor scratched his back and began to trudge along.
He looked closer to an unemployed man in his 40s than to an emperor, and he was waking up with the look of someone who had just woken up from sleep.
“Woe, meet your Majesty the Emperor!”
Even if he looks like that, the emperor is still the emperor.
As soon as Elena saw the Emperor, she quickly knelt down and bowed.
However, the Emperor smiled and placed a beer can on top of Elena’s head and said.
“Hey. Have you still not got all your memories back? “What kind of formality are there between classmates?”
A fleeting look of affection towards Elena.
However, those eyes disappeared in an instant, consumed by long-term boredom.
The emperor yawned as if everything was bothering him, then approached Ed again and spoke to him.
“Hey. Hado Yui~ Are you good at acting?”
The emperor speaks to Ed in a friendly manner and throws a beer can.
Ed immediately raised his spider paw and took the beer can.
-Push it!
No, I tried to get it but failed.
A beer can got stuck in a pointed spider foot and exploded.
“Ah. There was a lack of consideration. Sorry.”
As the emperor said that, he opened his can of beer and took a gulp.
Ed soon came out of the Cassandra suit, took the beer can that the emperor had just thrown, and drank it together.
The emperor opened his mouth with a faint smile.
“Hey. Hado Yui. Do you remember? “When development was over, we went up to the rooftop and finished the day with a can of beer.”
“···Of course.”
“···Kekekekeuk. I feel better now that my memories have come back. There comes a time when we say things like this.”
“···Okay. There will also come a time when you and the emperor will drink beer and reminisce.”
“Kkkkkkkk.”
“Anyway, it must have been hard for you too. “Because I have lived alone holding on to these memories.”
“······Well, that’s right. And that’s because I’ve inherited memories for a really long time… Now, I’m much older in this world than I am in the original world, so I don’t know what’s real. No, I don’t know what the existence of ‘I’ itself is. “The moment you inherit accumulated memories, your current self is completely buried, and you become something that cannot be identified.”
“······.”
“···If we don’t succeed in this round, the same will happen to Sephilia. The ego gets mixed up with the ‘I’ accumulated over countless years. “She is no longer my daughter but becomes ‘me.’”
-Tung.
The sound of something falling to the floor.
The emperor shook his head in the direction from which the sound came.
There, Elena, who had dropped the beer on the top of her head, was looking at the emperor with a stern expression.
Soon, her shoulders were shaking and she spoke to the emperor.
“What are you talking about just now? Sephilia… Ah, no. “Her Royal Highness becomes Your Majesty?”
“······.”
The emperor looks at Ed and Elena alternately with a sullen expression in response to Elena’s harsh words.
Soon, the emperor looked at Ed and said.
“Didn’t you tell me?”
“···Uh.”
“Why?”
“Because the Master cares for Her Highness the Princess.”
“······.”
The emperor nodded as if he understood Ed’s answer.
Soon, he took a sip of beer, burped, and looked at Elena.
He said to her, throwing her empty beer can at her.
“···Soyun. No, it’s Elena now. Well, whatever the name is.”
“······.”
“Listen carefully. Well… No. Edgar Fix and I are from another world than this one. “That goes for you too.”
“······.”
“We who fell into this world had to think about survival first. “The game’s will was to eliminate us.”
The emperor said so and talked about the myth of ‘Genesis.’
This is the great history of the people of heaven fighting against the prince of hell and winning.
“···Well, the war ended with Ed’s sacrifice. The Grand Duke was sealed in ‘annihilation’, and peace returned to the world. But we still couldn’t return to the original world. It was a structure that could only be restored if the Archduke of Hell, the culprit of all this, was eliminated. “That’s how we, the ‘Celestial People,’ came to settle in this world.”
After this, the emperor began to tell the story of the celestial people.
After Ed was sealed together with the Duke of Hell.
It explains how the celestial people who settled in this world lived.
“First of all, the most powerful kings of the four directions did not pass down their memories to their descendants. As a result, I gradually became a local of this world and eventually forgot about Ed. And then they began an endless war to take over this land.”
“······.”
“But… No. As Ed’s closest associates, I and his colleagues could not let Ed go like that. So, one guy built his fortress within the ‘Sea Wall’ in preparation for his future, and I ended the war by establishing the ‘House of Orserk’ so that the bloodline of the Celestials would not be cut off. In order for Edgar to return someday, he needed a strong empire to support him.”
The emperor who explained the background of the establishment of the ‘Orserk’ family.
After this, he went to greet Ed who would return someday. And he explained that he had inherited his memory in order to protect the absolute imperial power.
This explains the ‘curse of memory’, in which a child’s child’s child’s child becomes the ‘first emperor.’
“···Sephilia’s anxiety symptoms. Anxiety that this world might be fake. It all comes from a defense mechanism. Because I unconsciously feel that one day I will be absorbed into it, I prepare my mind in advance. This world might be fake. No, more accurately, it is anxiety that one’s life may be just a momentary dream.”
“······.”
“···Well, that’s why I don’t love Sephilia. It’s going to be me anyway, isn’t it gross?”
Stumbled.
After learning the truth, Elena stumbled and touched her forehead.
Then Ed hurriedly came over to her and helped her up.
Elena shouted, shaking off her ed.
“No, let go…!”
“······.”
“There is no need to be a disciple anymore… Se, if Sephilia is going to end up like that anyway… If you, you too, are something other than the Edgar Fix I knew, then our relationship means nothing-“
“Master.”
At that time. Ed hardened his expression and called out to Elena.
Then he grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
Ed said.
“You decide who you are.”
“······.”
“I am Edgar Fix. While I was tampering with my teacher’s cat’s prosthetic leg, I formed a relationship. From that relationship, with the help of my teacher, I became who I am today. “As long as Master defines himself as Grand Mage Elena, to me, he is my Master.”
······The subject of the self is determined by oneself.
At Ed’s advice, Elena’s eyes, which had been fluttering like waves, began to calm down.
Her shaken heart finds stability.
‘It’s warm…. ‘You’re worried about me.’
However, it was not only because of his advice that Elena found her stability.
The feeling of affection seeped into Ed’s eyes.
She has a kind heart that hopes she won’t get hurt.
Because she read those warm emotions in his expression and eyes, her heart recovered.
“···Hey, have we ever been in love in your past life?”
Because of this, without realizing it, Elena let out the question she had been having for a long time.
After learning that Ed was having a ‘return’, she wondered if there would be a time when he and her became lovers.
“···Yes. “There was a time like that.”
However, Ed readily acknowledged that fact.
At the beginning of Infinite Recurrence, he clearly had a relationship with Elena.
“···How were we?”
And Elena carefully asked about their relationship.
What would it have been like for you and Ed to not be a teacher and a student?
Soon, Ed smiled and said.
“···It was hot.”
“······Huh?”
“Master was a predator. “He ate me countless times.”
“···Me? How?”
“···You know roughly what it means.”
Ed says meaningful words and lets out a dirty laugh.
Elena’s face turned red as if it were going to explode.
She cried out, breaking out of Ed’s hand.
“Well, that can’t be possible! “I, I am so shameless—”
“It’s like a kind of obsession.”
“─Woman, huh?”
“It’s not a s*xual desire, it’s something like an obsession. “The compulsion to leave behind descendants with tremendous power.”
“······.”
“Because, Master, you had a vague feeling. “The princes of hell emerging from extinction.”
“······.”
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Elena nodded her head.
She was clearly feeling anxious, her own subconscious wary of the Prince of Hell.
Didn’t she suffer from anxiety about having to stop them, to the point where she had nightmares about him every day?
“Because of that anxiety, Master was very interested in training the next generation. When I, a fellow Celestial, realized my talent, I even felt s*xual urges. “I think he was probably trying to give birth to a strong child who could stand up to the Duke of Hell.”
“······.”
Elena lowered her head with a confused expression.
What on earth had happened to my original self, who had intact memories, to be wary of the Duke of Hell to the point of feeling s*xual impulses?
At that moment, Ed, who had been reminiscing about something, opened his mouth.
“···And I think Master probably saw other people through me.”
“·····Huh? Are you projecting someone else?”
“So, it means that you see someone through me who you can’t forget.”
“······.”
Elena’s expression hardened.
Aren’t Ed’s words the same as saying that he dated Ed as a substitute in order to replace someone?
“Of course, that doesn’t mean you don’t love me.”
However, Ed quickly added the following words before Elena misunderstood.
And he began to explain why he thought so.
“Master loved me. To the point of overflowing. However, that love was expressed because of Master’s obsession, and was not sincere. Because the eyes of the teacher who met me were somehow empty. Even though he was seeing me, it felt like he was missing someone.”
“···Sorry. “It must have hurt.”
“Why do I feel sorry for my current teacher? The teacher of that episode… No. “Elena from that episode and Master now are completely different people.”
“···Still. “Because we are fundamentally the same person.”
“······It’s okay. Because I was happy. “It’s just that there was a hole somewhere in Master’s heart, and we only regret not being able to fill it, but we did our best.”
As Ed said that, he remembered the time when he and Elena were lovers.
Elena, who tried her best to love herself, and himself, who suffered from not being able to fill her emptiness.
Honestly, Ed felt sorry.
Enya and Isabella were the refuges she chose because they could not satisfy her heart.
But instead, she met Enya and Isabella, and Ed thought it was right not to end up with Elena.
Her words are emptiness that cannot be filled by her own efforts.
So, his relationship with Elena is more like a colleague than her lover.
A helper rather than a colleague.
He was more suited to being a teacher and disciple than a helper.
In other words, the current sense of distance is just right.
The two people in this relationship are trying to force their hearts to change because they cannot love each other.
Because there is no need to try to fill a heart that cannot be filled.
“So, Master. We like it right now. “No more, no less, just this much distance.”
That’s how Ed defined the relationship between himself and Elena.
A relationship in which two people can be the happiest.
Master and disciple.
“···Master, you will find it someday. “How should he define his relationship with those around him?”
And Ed supported Elena, her former lover.
She, too, will one day find herself and be able to put those around her in good shape.
However, Elena still spoke to Ed with a complicated expression.
“···Can I find it? I still don’t even know who I really am. “I didn’t even know that her sister or her sister, Sephilia, had such a secret.”
“···Of course. Even if it seems impossible, it’s up to you in the end. “The proof is right in front of your eyes, Master.”
Elena nodded her head, looking at Ed in front of her.
Wasn’t he also able to get the current Enya and Isabella after numerous failures?
“Besides, the way to save the princess is simple. Defeat the Prince of Hell and save this world. Because then the Orserk family can finally be free from their duties.”
Ed said that and looked at the emperor.
The emperor was still smoking a cigarette with an expression of annoyance about everything, but then he stuffed it into an empty beer can and muttered.
“Well, that’s right. Fatherly love has long since disappeared, but she is ‘still’ my daughter anyway. “I want to protect you as much as I can.”
The emperor said that and stood up.
And he narrowed his eyes sharply and looked at Ed.
“Of course, for that to be possible, you have to trust me. “As this is a mission that has been going on for hundreds of years, unless there is a clear victory, the ‘succession ceremony’ will begin as planned.”
Elena swallowed her saliva with a nervous look on her face.
Because it is obvious what the ‘succession ceremony’ the emperor is talking about.
In other words, it means that she will overshadow herself as the princess.
In that case, her princess personality will be completely swallowed up and she will turn into her bored emperor.
‘I will never let you do that.’
Elena made a promise.
I will save this world and protect Sephilia as well.
That was the true and only desire that ‘Current Elena’ had.
“Hey. Hadoyui.”
But then.
At some point, the emperor, who had summoned the sofa and was lying down, called Ed.
He then gestured with his chin at the crystal ball containing the images of Lucas and Claire.
“Do you have time to do that? “They’re almost all there.”
Lucas and Claire arrived at the destination as the emperor said.
However, Eve intervened and said that it was okay since she was taking enough time.
Just like the cliché of a huge horde of monsters pouring in before the boss appears.
They are creating an atmosphere by sending in the creatures they have made so far.
“Now all you have to do is show up. “I’m ready.”
In that way, Eve handed Cassandra’s helmet to Ed.
Ed immediately put on the Cassandra suit and helmet and headed to where Lucas and Claire were.
Now is the time for this dad to let his son play with dolls.