066. Dream (4)
“Owen!”
Amidst the swirling memories, someone wrapped their hands around his cheeks.
The warmth of the touch made Owen finally focus on reality.
Outside the window, lightning and thunder continued as the rain poured down.
“Pull yourself together.”
His breathing still labored.
Sweat had formed on his forehead.
Owen, struggling to suppress the swirling emotions, slowly rested his head on Lucia’s shoulder.
Lucia, who had been sitting across from him, had somehow approached and stood beside him.
“What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”
From Noble mtl dot com
Her worried gaze met his.
Unable to respond, Owen simply hugged Lucia’s back in silence.
In return, Lucia faced him, patting his back soothingly.
Her gentle touch, as if to comfort, was warm.
“Don’t be in pain. I worry about you.”
Strangely, upon feeling her warmth and hearing her concerned voice, Owen quickly calmed down.
His labored and erratic breathing returned to normal.
Similarly, the sinking emotions that seemed to engulf him lightened.
“Feeling a bit better now?”
Perhaps sensing it too, Lucia asked as she looked at him.
Owen lifted his head from Lucia’s shoulder and nodded in response.
As he did, she examined his expression and spoke.
“Why did you suddenly act that way? Were you really in pain somewhere?”
Unintentionally, a smile escaped Owen’s lips as he looked into her worried, red eyes.
Lucia narrowed her eyes in response.
“This is no time to smile. You were really serious earlier. Do you know you were close to hyperventilating? Your face turned pale…”
“I know.”
“If you know, why are you smiling? If you don’t know the reason, it’s something that warrants calling a doctor.”
“No need. I already know the reason.”
As Owen replied, Lucia urged him with her eyes to explain.
In response to her prompting gaze, Owen briefly replied.
“Trauma.”
Perhaps that was the case.
Originally something Owen had, but for some reason, now even she seemed affected by it.
“It was because memories resurfaced, so now I’m fine.”
It seemed that the memory that haunted Owen the most was from that time.
The summer when he was seventeen, heavy rain pouring down, the day he lost both his parents in a carriage accident.
And then, finding out after an investigation that his parents had been having an affair.
Owen crumbled, felt ultimate disappointment, and came to a realization.
– There can’t be love.
The child who had never felt loved even saw his parents’ love as false.
– I was so foolish. I knew it was unbelievable, yet I believed in you.
The sound of rain was audible.
The rain from that year still echoed outside the window.
“…Trauma?”
As Lucia belatedly pursued the memory, she finally spoke.
“Did you have something like that?”
With a face of complete ignorance, and an expression of great surprise and shock, she spoke.
Owen blinked twice at her reaction, then nodded.
“I didn’t know. What kind of trauma could it be…”
Lucia’s voice trailed off as she got lost in thought.
Owen pondered as he looked at her.
Should he tell the truth, or would it be better to keep it to himself?
Wanting to show her only the good side of him, he was torn.
However, he couldn’t ignore her worrying, so he concluded that it would be better to at least briefly explain.
“It’s related to my birth parents, just a bit.”
“Related to the Viscount and Viscountess Berdine? I know a bit about them, that they were having affairs…”
That was as far as the public knew.
The rumor that the Viscount and Viscountess Berdine, who appeared to be such a loving couple, were actually having affairs.
Lucia was also aware of just that much.
This was why she knew that Owen didn’t believe in love, but she couldn’t know more.
Hence, it was easy for him to mention it.
Thinking of Owen, the Océane Villa was a precious place.
Not only to her but to everyone else as well.
In society, the fact that the Viscount and Viscountess Berdine had abused their child was not known.
Externally, it was even rumored that they went to the villa together every holiday season.
Leaving the child at the mansion and taking off was quite audacious.
It must have been a calculated move to prevent rumors of child abuse and neglect from spreading.
“Well, that’s a problem in itself.”
Regardless, what Lucia said was quite a big issue for Owen, so he nodded.
“…that’s not all.”
Lucia seemed to notice there was another reason behind his answer.
Not being surprised, she pondered on how to articulate it.
For Owen, abuse was a horrific and violent memory.
Yet, he did his best to hide any trace of abuse from others.
He believed that to be a ‘perfect head of the family,’ such measures were necessary.
In a way, this was also part of gaslighting and brainwashing.
“They weren’t a loving family. That’s all it was.”
That was the conclusion after much deliberation.
Despite the elaborate phrasing, the horror within his words didn’t quite show.
But it was inevitable.
To be honest, the reality was too dreadful to speak of.
The horror made him feel breathless again, as if he would be engulfed in memories.
“…is that so?”
“Yes, it is.”
After listening to Owen’s vague response, Lucia briefly probed further.
Owen promptly answered her question.
Then, he reached out for the bell pull, a clear sign that he wanted to end the conversation.
Lucia, seemingly resigned, returned to her seat.
Soon, the butlers and maids entered, clearing the empty plates from the table.
The main dishes on the tray were placed on the table.
The meal continued once more.
It seemed like the trauma story was coming to a close.
Sadly, it wouldn’t be long before a similar situation repeated itself, rendering it futile.
***
The rainy weather was dreadful.
Although the original work mentioned Owen’s mood darkening when it rained, this was beyond expectation.
The rain that fell when he visited the mausoleum before seemed shallow, relatively manageable.
Just the sound of rain and thunder made him constantly recall the past.
It was nerve-wracking.
After finishing the meal and returning to the study, Owen couldn’t focus due to constant unease.
Evening came, and the two of them had dinner together again.
Dinner took place at a different venue than lunch, equally grand and splendid.
Each detail seemed to please Lucia.
After dinner, they had a tea time, followed by Lucia being escorted to the guest bedroom by a maid.
Despite being a guest room, due to Lucia’s status, it was a sizable and well-kept room.
As most of Owen’s space was on the 5th floor, Lucia’s room was assigned on the 4th floor.
“Rest well and see you tomorrow.”
“You too, Owen.”
Since they had decided to stay for a few days, lengthy farewells were unnecessary.
They exchanged brief goodbyes and went to their respective rooms.
Heading to the bedroom on the 5th floor, Owen gazed out the window to observe the pouring rain.
What seemed like a drizzle turned out to be a downpour.
It felt like the monsoon season had arrived in the middle of summer.
It seemed like a long, harsh monsoon akin to that of a summer at seventeen.
“Pathetic.”
A cold voice pierced his ears.
By now, Owen knew the owner of the chilling voice well.
“Oh, Mother… I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
The voice of a child pleading echoed.
Yet, the owner of the voice, the child’s mother, remained firm.
“Who did you inherit such weakness from? It doesn’t suit the Verdin Marquis.”
The child’s calves were already covered with red marks from the cane.
-You should know how to use your abilities. It’s absurd to worry about an animal’s life.
As if her anger wasn’t subsiding, she struck the child’s calf several more times.
The tender skin of the child easily swelled and bruised.
When it became difficult for the child to walk due to the severity of the beating, the child’s mother called for a priest.
Naturally, it was a priest who had been firmly silenced with money.
The priest healed the child’s wounds without asking anything.
“If you make such a noise again next time, I won’t stand idly by. Not only you, but your entire lineage will be punished next time.”
The child’s mother threatened the child too easily.
She even exploited the weakness of the child’s lineage.
“Get up.”
As memories faded, new memories emerged.
This time, it was a different voice that was heard.
Yet it still felt familiar.
Yes, it was his father’s voice.
“If you give up so easily, you are not a Verdini.”
Without mercy, the father swung the wooden sword with all his might at the exhausted child, who then sat down, and spoke to him.
However, this was the education style of the honorable Duke Verdini.
He only launched attacks on the child.
Though the child practiced with the wooden sword, there was no way a young child could withstand the strength of a seasoned adult swordsman.
As a result, the child’s body naturally bore various wounds.
There were bruises, scratches, and places where blood was drawn.
After the practice, under the care of the priest, not a single scar remained.
“Let’s stop thinking about it.”
Owen tightly closed his eyes to suppress the rising memories.
Then he turned and headed towards the bathroom.
Without bothering to call for a servant, Owen bathed alone, clearing his mind.
Except for the servants and the knights, he was the only one left in the mansion.
That’s why Owen didn’t pay much attention to his attire and lived as he pleased.
Especially the clothes worn for sleep.
Although he had separate night clothes, what he actually wore to sleep was a bathrobe.
Made of soft material, it was comfortable and dark black in color.
He found it suitable for sleeping, so he had been using it as a substitute for nightwear.
“Let’s go to bed early today.”
Originally, he slept little, woke up early, but today he didn’t want to be more awake.
It was because unnecessary and consuming thoughts kept coming to mind due to the pouring rain.
To avoid looking at the rain pouring outside, Owen drew the curtains on the window.
Although the sound of raindrops hitting the window was occasionally heard, there was no need to see the rain directly.
Covering the scenery with the curtains, Owen soon lay down on the bed.
After turning off the magic lamp, the surroundings were engulfed in pitch darkness.
In the pitch-black darkness, Owen closed his eyes.