223. A Hazy Relationship (8)
“Go, Eugene.”
Again.
He’s saying it again.
I’m hurting Eugene’s heart again.
Even now, I can’t do anything but freeze Eugene and urge him.
“Before it’s too late. Hurry.”
I’ve known for a long time that love can’t be fulfilled.
I realized long ago that there is no beautiful ending at the end of this road.
If only I had known this before I met Eugene.
If I had, would I have rejected Eugene from the beginning?
‘No······.’
I couldn’t have refused.
No matter how many times I go around, it’s the same.
No matter how many times I face this disastrous end, my decision will not change.
I don’t regret it either.
Well, because I’ve already realized it.
How good it feels to be in love.
How precious an experience it is to connect with someone.
Once you know that, it’s impossible to go back to the time when you didn’t know.
There’s no way I can lock myself up again and become a cold, frosty monarch.
It’s like I’ve been cursed.
A curse that gives a human heart to a tin machine that was only meant to protect and rule the country.
Because of that, I’ve caused so many people to suffer.
Not to mention Eugene.
Jill and Julia too.
Of course, I didn’t show it on the outside······.
I still haven’t forgiven those two.
I hate them.
I can’t shake the thought that if it weren’t for those two, Eugene and I would have had a happy ending.
This is my true nature.
I try to hide it and pretend to be human.
But inside, I’m seething with ugly emotions.
It’s obvious what will happen if I go back to the present world in this state.
I’ll go berserk again.
I won’t be satisfied with Eugene’s return, and I’ll go mad trying to monopolize him.
In the end, I’ll freeze everything and destroy it.
And Eugene, who has returned several times, knows this well.
The fact that I will never change.
Eugene may know my true nature better than I do.
“Huh? Eugene?”
“······.”
“Eugene. Why aren’t you responding? Eugene······.”
“······.”
But something’s wrong.
Why isn’t Eugene responding?
Most of his limbs and face are frozen, but his heart is definitely beating.
I’ve given him enough magic power.
I could feel his magic power being broken down in his body and converted into magic.
But why? Why?
Eugene still hasn’t returned?
“Eugene. You’re going to die like this. Go quickly. Please!”
“······.”
“Go! If you do, there’s no point in me staying here! I’m only staying because I want you to live······!”
“······.”
Thud, thud, thud.
Eugene’s body trembles.
As if trying to move his frozen body.
But the ice that has frozen him to the bone doesn’t budge.
I was afraid it would break if I kept going like this.
“Ah!”
Splash!
Eugene’s ankle fell off.
Eugene came towards me, leaving his foot frozen to the ground.
He broke his other foot in the same way and walked towards me as if he was collapsing.
I shed tears at the sight of him and quickly caught Eugene.
“Why? Why······!”
I don’t understand.
Eugene, you weren’t like this.
You were a rational and reasonable person.
You were brave, but you weren’t reckless.
You would choose a worthwhile sacrifice, but you wouldn’t choose a certain death.
But why······!
You’re trying to die with me when it’s obvious that you’ll die here.”Go back, Eugene. Please… I’ll ask you… Go back and take good care of the Saintess and Julia… Okay?”
“Wh… What…”
Creak, crack!
Eugene’s frozen face began to move.
Her frozen cheeks tore slightly, and Eugene forced out a voice.
My heart ached so much that it felt like it was going to burst.
“You’re so dishonest… Are you going to be fake until the end?”
“What… What are you talking about…”
“When did you ever care about Jill and Julia? I know you hate them more than enemy spies.”
“…”
It was true.
But I had never told anyone, not even Eugene.
“How did you know? If you don’t even know this, you don’t deserve to love me.”
“If I know…! You know what will happen if I go back! If I go back, everyone will die! Me, you! Everything you hold so dear will freeze to death! So stop being stubborn and stop being so greedy! Go back before it’s too late…”
“…”
“Why, why! Why are you being stubborn again!!!”
I’m going crazy with frustration.
Eugene is not the kind of person who would do this.
She’s not the kind of person who would act so irrationally.
As if waiting for something, Eugene’s magic didn’t move an inch.
She didn’t seem to have any intention of going back.
“Yes. You’re right. I’ve never once thought of Jill and Julia as friends. I always thought of them as my rivals, as people I would have to push aside someday. The happiness you want, Eugene… I’m the one who will destroy it all. I’m a jealous, unforgiving, envious, expressionless, rude, blunt, and lonely person…”
“Blunt? You? You don’t know. You don’t know how unconsciously you wag your tail and act cute.”
“What, what the hell…!”
My body shook violently as Eugene snickered.
Is this the time to joke around?
We’re dying!
No, my two legs have already fallen off, and my face is breaking as I speak…!
I couldn’t see anything because of the tears streaming down my face.
Then Eugene’s hand twisted and broke, and some of her fingers broke off and reached out to wipe away my tears.
My vision cleared.
And Eugene’s face began to come into clear view.
Her eyes, devoid of doubt or fear, looked down at me.
“You’re jealous? You’re not going to get along with Jill or Julia? They’ll probably feel the same way. They’re even more gloomy than you are. On the contrary, the more honest you are with them, the happier they’ll be because they won’t have to hide their gloomy side.”
“What’s that…”
“You think you’re the center of the world. No, you’re nothing special. Why do you attach such a grand meaning to your talent? Aren’t you just an ordinary person who’s just exceptionally strong?”
“It’s no use bullying me like that… In all the episodes you’ve seen, haven’t I gone berserk?”
“…”
Eugene’s eyes wavered.
I knew it.
I must have been the same every time.
In every episode, I would have gone berserk and eventually destroyed the world.
There was only one possibility that I wouldn’t go berserk.
Only when I didn’t know Eugene from the beginning.
Only when I didn’t know Eugene, didn’t understand human emotions, and lived my whole life locked up…
“Uh. Never.”
“What?!”
“At least while I was there, I never did anything like that.”
“What?! You said you destroyed the world every time after you left!”
“The timeline would have collapsed after I left, so it’s like it never happened in the first place.”
“…”
What kind of sophistry is this?
Eugene’s confident nonsense left me speechless.
You mean it was okay as long as Eugene was there?
You mean you never saw me go berserk and destroy the world?
“Yerina. Believe in yourself. And believe in me, who will always be by your side. I will stay wherever you are.””Please······.”
“This isn’t the future world. It’s an illusion created by your fear. In no timeline did you destroy the world. It won’t happen in the future either. No. I’ll stop it from happening. If you and I don’t give up, anything is possible.”
Holding onto Eugene’s freezing hand, I slowly laid him down.
His speech was slowing down again.
Forcing his frozen body to move was just a last-ditch effort.
A cold so strong that even his will couldn’t withstand it, freezing everything.
“Are you······ going to······ cast me out······ again.”
“Ugh······.”
Leaving behind his last words, Eugene froze solid.
His fingertips, the tip of his lips, no longer moved.
I couldn’t feel any life from deep within his chest.
It’s because of me.
I killed Eugene.
Because of this cursed body······!
“What?”
As I cursed myself inwardly, I suddenly came to my senses.
What? A cursed body?
Only then did self-loathing wash over me, and I burst out laughing in disbelief.
“Ha······.”
It sounds like a cursed body.
How much have I benefited from my extraordinary talent, in a body that was disproportionate to my abilities?
How many relationships have I met and maintained thanks to my natural birthright?
I’ve seen all the benefits, and now that it’s time to face the consequences, I’m calling it a curse?
Thinking about it, I’m shameless.
This isn’t a curse.
It’s just the price I have to pay for my greed.
To die here is to evade and escape that price.
And to escape is to deny the path I have taken.
A woman who said she would follow the path of martial arts and justice, meeting such a miserable end?
“No······ I don’t want that······.”
Fiddling.
Picking up Eugene’s fingers that had fallen to the ground.
I tear off Eugene’s ankles, which seem to be frozen in the ice, and bring them back.
Then I shed my tears on the cross-section and join them together.
In an instant, the tears froze and the severed parts were joined together.
That’s how I fixed his ankles, fingers, and torn cheek.
Finally, I laid Eugene down whole and put my hand on his cheek.
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The energy that had been constantly flowing out of me began to seep back into Eugene.
But why?
This time, it seemed to be a different kind of energy than the cold that had frozen him from the heart.
“I’m not going to cast you out······.”
I hugged Eugene, who was already cold and stiff.
It may be too late.
I may have realized it too late, and I may have become someone who regrets it with tears in my eyes.
But here, I decided not to back down any further.
Because I knew why Eugene had stubbornly stayed by my side.
Because I realized what he was trying to remind me of.
He didn’t say it in words.
Rather, because he didn’t, it reached me more quickly.
“This is the world I created······. The inside of my essence······.”
The present world of the future?
That’s wrong. This isn’t that.
It’s just a scene that my vague fear has made plausible.
“I’ve been deceiving myself in my deepest place, trying to evade it.”
Shame washed over me.
This wasn’t a place to evade.
It wasn’t a place where I could abandon all responsibility and choose death.
A place to contemplate my own nature.
A place where no one can reach me, where I can forge and evolve my abilities.
Even if I had been drawn here by chance, I was trying to die in such a place.
Eugene must have been frustrated enough to hold on and hang on.
“You said you’d stay by my side······.”
Holding Eugene’s hand.
I put my forehead against his.
And then, slowly, from some point on, I release the will that was about to boil over inside me.Iron shoes with sharp spikes are filled with willpower.
Self-defense rings emit blue light with willpower.
Steel wrist guards roar.
All my weapons on my body respond to my willpower.
That means my whole body is reacting.
What I hold in my hand is my weapon, and my whole body is no different from a weapon.
Inside my body, filled with willpower, the Frost Stream’s secrets melt.
Swordsmanship for cutting, breaking, destroying, and freezing.
The secrets of swordsmanship that I have honed throughout my life are dismantled and dismantled, and then reassembled in a completely different form.
The shape thus created is a much larger shape than before.
It was a huge meaning and will that I couldn’t believe was born from swordsmanship.
“I’ll believe it… you and me…”
Yerina’s fingertips glow, and white willpower envelops Eugene.
Then, Eugene’s body, which seemed impossible to revive, began to melt as every cell froze.
As if turning back time, the cracked body was reattached and came back to life.
Uncontrollable willpower overflows and flows around.
The dark clouds clear, white clouds roll in, and the heavy snowstorm subsides.
The will submerged in the ground melts the snow and the earth.
Grasses that had been dead for a long time regained their blue light in an instant and bloomed.
The permafrost collapses, and the land that seemed to have frozen even time is instantly filled with green life.
The ultimate in swordsmanship, which is only for freezing, breaking, and destroying.
The destination beyond that limit.
It was the secret of the Frost Stream.