13. Iris El Devhardt – 02
In the past, when she visited Lumentium with Cain, Aria had the experience of visiting a temple dedicated to Arbel, the goddess of spring, with Cain.
Of course, Aria was only forced to visit the temple by Cain’s hand, and it was absolutely not that she served Arbel or had faith in her. In the first place, Arya did not have the slightest desire to serve such a lesser bitch who was growing a flower garden in her head as a goddess.
However, at the temple of the goddess, who was forced to visit at the hands of Cain, Arya witnessed something that would remain forever as a fire mark in her heart.
On the ceiling of the chapel of the temple, magnificent sacred paintings were painted with threads that expressed anecdotes about the goddess’ mercy and grace, starting with the creation of the world. It was to the point where it felt as if there was something in the ceiling painting that the artisans who had a taste of an era had painted with their souls over the course of decades, truly containing the spirit and divinity of the goddess itself.
Even Aria, who was feeling displeased with the goddess of spring, felt an unknown holiness while looking at the ceiling painting.
…And now, the scene unfolding in front of Arya’s eyes was like that too. Everything was just the same as the feelings she felt at the time. either in a good sense or in a bad sense.
There was only darkness all around. A small lamp lit near the terrace was the only light illuminating the surroundings. There was only a pair of men and women entwined like snakes, wrapped in darkness against a small, soft light background.
Both men and women were passionate. And even greedy. Two lips that want each other’s breath cross. As if the man was trying to covet everything of the woman, he covered every corner of her body, not just her lips.
The flesh of men and women overlaps into one. The strong knight’s flesh and the snow-white and thin flesh overlapped and overlapped, and I could no longer tell who it belonged to. They become each other’s desires and want to become one, it was so ugly, but I could feel the sacredness somewhere.
…okay. Like the magnificent ceiling painting of a temple she once saw.
They were ugly, but they looked beautiful at the same time. At least, it seemed that way in her eyes.
“…..”
Breathing, choking, choking. At this moment, Arya just stared blankly at their affair, forgetting why she came here and what she had to do.
…my head spins around. Legs lose strength. Had she been standing on the ground, she would have collapsed to the ground. It feels like everything that makes up the earth has collapsed, and it feels empty.
“…Ha, evil…!”
Something rose from the depths of his throat. But inside, she felt nothing but pain. No, she didn’t know that maybe she was just spitting out the pain itself. Because Arya was just feeling this pain right now.
“…Ahh…”
…Ah, I don’t know. Really, I don’t know. I couldn’t figure out anything. I couldn’t tell what was beautiful and what was ugly. I didn’t like it. Now, I hated everything. I wanted to run away. If it wasn’t for this place, it seemed like I could go anywhere else.
It seemed like my head was in a mess. I feel like my brain, which contained the truth of the world itself, is leaking out. After my whole body has been shattered into pieces, I feel miserable as if I have been reduced to nothing more than stones rolling on the street.
…Why did he just silently watch their ugly yet beautiful scene? why-
“…Huh, haang…!”
Iris El Devhart was panting. No, it wasn’t just panting. Not even caring about the surroundings, only the sticky voices that were uttered in joy filled this space. In other words, the groans that resonated in the relationship between a man and a woman were disturbing Aria’s ears.
The same woman who had lived her entire life as a sword and always showed only a lofty spirit in front of others, was begging for pleasure with a female face as she lay under the man. I was only looking for love. I was only looking for love.
Yes. Iris El Devhart was delighted. She was greedy for pleasure while being placed under a man of her own will, and was proud of herself being turned into a woman by his hand.
“…!”
…that’s when I realized. The reason why they look ugly but at the same time divine.
They were now connected as one. They were fully feeling each other through bodily sympathy. It wasn’t something someone forced me to do. In their actions, there was only love for each other.
Beyond the finiteness of the body, beyond everything that defines the difference between each other, pure love that just wants the other person for itself.
Something that he, who was just born perfect, could not have and couldn’t reach in the end.
“…Woo-wook-!”
Nausea had intensified. It wasn’t because their actions were disgusting. Looking at their love for only the other person and only for each other, it is because I am so miserable that I suddenly thought that I was truly ‘envious’ towards them-
‘no.’
I knew. About the fact that there are already many other women besides Cain by his side, and that he is already in love with some of them. Even if I wanted to know, I couldn’t possibly know. A crazy woman named Bianca del Castana used to proudly brag that she had already intertwined with Cain, as if she had no shame.
‘…no.’
…but, still, I thought it was okay. I thought it didn’t matter. He thought that he was prepared to do nothing even if he had sex with any other woman. Because, he was also proud that he was already in touch with him. For that reason, I thought it would be okay to sacrifice anything.
‘…No.’
On the day of Ystad’s festival, she felt it. That she loves him so much, and that he also gives her heart. And I was sure. If this world is one story, this time, you are the main character of this story.
That’s why I didn’t care if he looked at other women. Bianca del Castana, Iris El Devhardt, and Ariel Thier are all just protagonists in a story that has already flowed. On the other hand, he himself is building up stories with him-
So, I thought I just had to endure this moment. She is no longer the ‘witch of winter’, but her exclusive maid, ‘Aria’. He is different from those vulgar women. At best, they are panting with lust and do not beg for love. I will remain as a woman of use to him, just adhering modestly to his side.
…I thought that if I did that, it would lead to someday. Even if I can’t reach it at this moment, I thought that there is something left in my heart. I believed that if I stubbornly kept this heart, the day I could laugh with him would come someday.
‘…hurt.’
…But, it hurts. Even if it hurts, it hurts too much. The pain as if her heart was being torn apart ran through her chest. In this place, only her screams, moans, and pain existed.
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My heart is numb. I laughed out loud at the thought that everything might have been my own misunderstanding. Maybe, I was mistaken that I loved him alone, and my heart was connected with him. He used to laugh at the woman who secretly begged him for love, but the truth was.
Who was the foolish clairvoyant who was immersed in illusion without knowing anything?
“…under.”
An inexplicable laugh escaped his lips. I was in so much pain, as if a huge hole had been pierced in the middle of my heart, so much pain, but I couldn’t understand why I was just laughing.
…Perhaps, he had a dream that he did not wish for.
She is the ‘winter witch’. His eternal enemy who has been at odds with him countless times in countless repetitions. It is like the evil demon king who kidnapped the princess, which often appears in fairy tale books.
Being bad is a subject he knows better than anyone else in the world, so what the hell is he doing here?
Did she think that pretending to lose her memory, pretending to be innocent, and pursuing atonement by his side would make any difference?
Did you think that one day, you would be forgiven by him and be able to stand by him with pride? Did he think that he would be able to stay by his side as a single woman, not Aria, the handmaid?
It’s funny indeed. There’s no way a woman like me could have such a good ending.
See, this is my own end, and it is the just end I must meet.
Doesn’t it really fit? In this life, secretly watching the ugly sight of the only man to whom you gave your heart for the first time is entangled like a snake with another woman and indulging in love, and despairing and despairing endlessly is what drove this world into an endless winter in the past. Isn’t it a punishment that is infinitely suitable for the ‘Witch of Winter’?
That’s right, from the beginning, he was a body that shouldn’t have hoped for normal happiness.
“…Ah, uh…”
At this moment, why does my heart hurt so much? why.
When I came to my senses, I saw blood flowing from my hands. He had clenched his fist so tightly that his fingernails had penetrated his skin.
…However, that kind of pain is not even the pain of condemnation. He’d rather have someone stab him in the heart and start all over again.
To that extent, Arya was in pain. Down there, Iris felt happiness and joy, but on the contrary, Arya felt despair and only pain.
Alas, that was it. Love is such a painful thing…
“…Cain, sir…”
His love overflows so much around him, but why does his love for himself not exist? why don’t you look at me Do I really have no qualifications?
Do I have to suffer like this, looking at your love for another woman?
“…so, it was good. I love you…”
“okay. me too i love you Iris. As much as this, it is sincere.”
Two men and women confirming their affection by whispering love to each other after ending their relationship.
…to witness Cain speaking the word ‘love’ to another woman right in front of his eyes.
“…..”
Perhaps, it was the last line where Arya could maintain reason.
I definitely felt it.
That you have crossed a certain line that you can accept. A certain string in my heart, suddenly cut off.
click-
Towards the woman who thought that even if the world collapsed, there would be nothing to contact.
– …What is it, maybe Aria? what the hell is this you contact me first
Because I put down all my pride and asked for help first.
“…shut up, and hurry up with her toward the imperial palace.”
While passing Bianca’s sarcastic voice through one ear, Arya unknowingly held onto the communication magic tool so tightly that it was crushed.
“Because I need your strength, something has happened.”
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My heart hurts, but I had no intention of just sitting on the floor and crying like an idiot.
Yeah, it wasn’t all over yet.
The rest of the night was only long.
“It’s related to Cain-sama.”
Unfortunately, most of the things that happen in the world can be solved with force.
The story isn’t over yet.
No, this was the beginning.