14. End of lingering – 14
Often, we talk about it like this.
All creatures in the world cannot help but be afraid of their own death that will come one day.
That is why, even though they know full well that it is foolish, humans pursue the foolish and vain dream of immortality.
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Maybe, it might be a matter of course. As a life, there is no way anyone can easily accept the fact that they are ending. No, rather, not harboring any fear of one’s own death must be a clear indicator that something is missing as a living being.
…However, immortality is not as comfortable and good as what humans seek and desire.
Kyrie el Denaris knew that fact better than anyone else in the world.
Because she must be the living being closest to the concept of immortality in this world.
In the human world, it is known that elves live for about a thousand years, but that is not true.
Looking at the actual lifespan of elves, they can certainly live for about a thousand years, but it is safe to say that there are virtually no elves who live a full thousand years among them.
The reasons are varied. Sometimes you get sick and die, and sometimes you die early without luck.
The majority of elves choose death on their own because they cannot bear the boredom that inevitably comes from a long life. Of course, rather than expressing death, it would be more appropriate to say that he made the choice to assimilate with the World Tree.
Elves are half-fairy, so they have a very different view of the world from humans, but it is safe to say that the sense of time felt by elves and humans is virtually the same.
Just as a hundred years feels long to humans, elves also perceive a hundred years as a long time.
For the first hundred years, it is manageable. However, from the year 200, life gradually begins to become boring. By four hundred or five hundred years, the elves too were fed up with their own lives.
By that time, you will slowly realize. Today is the same as yesterday, tomorrow is the same as today, there is no meaning.
Life shines because there is an end that will come someday. Because the end exists, we gain the strength to move forward toward a tomorrow that will be alive even for a moment.
However, the life they have been through so far and the life that remains to come is so long that elves who cannot properly determine where they will end end up losing their hopes for their lives like a candle with a burnt out wick.
And in the case of Kyrie, who was cursed with the name of immortality even though she did not wish for it, there was nothing more to say.
Unlike other elves who aged slowly as they got older, Kirie’s body stopped aging the moment she was appointed as the guardian of the World Tree.
So, she could say it. Immortality is truly miserable.
Everything in the world is moving forward, but it seems that only you are left alone in the flow of time.
A primal fear that everything that made up oneself is worn out after fading.
After realizing that even if I leave footprints on the pure white snowfield, all my actions become meaningless in the end, just as the endlessly falling snow covers my tracks.
Eventually, she lost all will to live.
After enduring such a life for a thousand years, Kirie realized that immortality was really just nonsense.
Even if the body was made of steel, wear and tear could not be avoided, much less the fragile mind was not worth mentioning.
In the end, Kyrie el Denaris was really tired.
Even so, a woman named Kyrie was not allowed to rest. To her, death was like a dream she shouldn’t have. Because she was currently taking on the role of representing the goddesses who had abandoned this land and disappeared.
The once noble oath turned into a worn-out duty, and soon fell into oblivion.
Happiness, anger, sadness, and joy all turned into meaningless things in the flow of time.
What are you living for, what are you living your life for?
In the midst of endlessly repeating life like a hamster wheel, I forgot everything.
It felt like walking on a long journey with no exit in sight.
I didn’t even know myself. When will the responsibilities imposed on me come to an end, where will my journey end, when will the end of this pitiful life come?
And she, at the end of her life, faced a certain man.
A man as foolish as a moth, advancing unhesitatingly toward his own destruction.
Cain von Estel.
At first, I thought it was just an interesting toy, but before I knew it, my lovely companion took away all my eyes, ears, and heart.
Are you really the kind of person who will walk through hell with me?
Or is he the only man who can get me out of this infernal hell?
Do you know, Cain, that it makes my heart pound?
****
It was a very beautiful moonlit night that day.
In the scene where only the bright moonlight remained and calmly lit up the darkness, Sarah was standing quietly in the back garden behind the Duke of Estelle.
“…..”
The reason she was standing here was simply to meet someone at the support, but as she stood here alone, she realized that her heart was pounding for some reason.
It wasn’t like that because I was standing alone in the middle of the night in a backyard where no one was there.
It might just be a coincidence, but it was because the place where she was standing now was the place where Cain and Sarah first met each other in the past.
– Nice to meet you. Princess Estelle.
– …Three, Lady Sernad.
I still remember it vividly. When she was very young, when she visited the Duke of Estelle, wondering what kind of person the boy she would be betrothed to would be, he looked like an idiot who couldn’t even look at his own face properly.
To be honest, the first meeting left her a bit disappointed. At best, the way he fell in love with his own face and couldn’t even raise his head properly wasn’t manly at all.
…Still, it wasn’t that I hated it. It was then that I realized for the first time that the existence of someone who thinks of me as pretty and beautiful is not such a bad thing.
It was one of the many memories Sarah hadn’t taken seriously.
These days, for some reason, each and every memory I had with him felt very precious.
…So close.
If only he had looked at him a little more carefully.
If only I had loved him with my own will rather than merely obeying the family’s will as a doll molded by the family.
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Maybe by now, I might have had a bunch of jewelry-filled memories.
By his side, he might have been loved by him like other women.
But who would you blame?
Everything is self-inflicted.
Losing his trust first, losing his trust first, losing his love first.
Everything is nothing but your own fault.
Thinking such a futile thought, I turned my head a little, and saw that a canola flower was in full bloom right next to her.
Perhaps because it was out of season, unlike the flowers around it, the canola flowers, showing a withered appearance as if they were about to wither at any moment, seemed to project her own image.
It’s been a long time since the season has passed, and now it’s time to leave, but the nasty look of trying to continue life somehow resembles him very closely.
Both you and I are leading a life full of regrets without getting tired of it.
While thinking about that, Sarah was quietly arranging the canola flowers that were on the brink of death-
“You have arrived quite early, Sarah Cernard. It’s still a long way from the appointment time, but you’re already at the meeting place in advance.”
A voice that seemed cold and cold somehow resonated in her ears.
“At such an important moment, I hated being late late.”
I turned my head and looked behind me, leaving my hands that were touching the rapeseed flowers apart.
There, Sarah’s eyes could only see an elf woman standing there, who matched so well with the flowers in full bloom around her.
“What is it that matters? It’s nothing more than a small talk about Cain.”
“If the story is a secret related to the person I have to serve for the rest of my life, I can only express it as important.”
In response to Sarah’s calm answer, Kirie suppressed her voice and giggled.
“Does the meaning that you serve mean that you simply serve him as your lord? Or does it mean that you want to serve him in some other way? Wouldn’t it be better to make this a little clearer? No matter how you look at it, I am also one of the women who promised to marry him.”
Despite Kirie’s words, which seemed to mock her at first glance, Sara’s face didn’t move at all. In the first place, it was a fact that he already knew that Kirie somehow disapproved of him. There is no reason to be hurt by her words now.
“…huh.”
Surprisingly, at Sarah’s calm reaction, Kirie unknowingly clicked her tongue. well, this is fine It’s also not fun if it collapses too easily.
“Sarah, do you know why I brought you to this place?”
“I do not know. I can’t really guess.”
To Kyrie’s question, Sarah just gives an answer in a disinterested manner.
“Oh, I have no idea. It can’t be a remark that Cain will feel quite sad when he hears it. Wasn’t this place the memory of Cain and Sarah’s first encounter?”
Took-
At Kyrie’s words, Sara just looked at Kyrie with a surprised face as if she was at a loss for words.
How on earth did Kyrie know about that? Cain and himself, how could Kyrie remember those memories that only the two of them would remember in the world?
Of course, Kirie had no intention of answering Sara’s question.
“You said you wanted to know the truth, Sarah? The truth that all other women know, but only you do not share?”
yes i will tell you the truth However, I have no intention of explaining it in terms of language at all.
What I’m going to show you from now on is all the emotions that ‘Cain von Estel’ had to feel looking at you in the past.
Grief, sorrow, pain, love-hate-
It’s about all the pain he had to feel after you left him.
“So, once.”
ah, looking forward to it
I can’t wait to see what kind of ugly screams you will let out in front of me, and what kind of lamentations you will let out.
That’s why I deliberately called you to this place.
The place where I first met him, this place where I first made memories with him.
Because it can’t be the best place to stimulate your emotions.
“I want you to feel right.”
The very moment Kyrie’s hand gently touched Sarah’s forehead-
The whole world around her has changed.