105 – How to fight and win against monsters (33) – Sorry.
“The density of the past will continue to increase and you will become more and more immersed in it. Then, at some point, you will forget who you are.”
“…..”
“Is this real or a fake world, and what should I do? That’s the first step in this ordeal.”
“…Who are you? And me.”
“Are you already starting to mistake reality? Try it carefully. Depending on your choice, you might be able to pass.”
“What nonsense are you talking about? Who are you? Answer me quickly!!”
“That’s all I have to say. I wish you luck. Let’s show ‘human will’ for once. This is ultimately a reconstruction of the ‘past’.”
Something unknown whispered something to me and then disappeared. Human will? What kind of cringe is that? Most humans have little will.
Lazy things that like to play and eat and don’t put in any effort.
I hit my head with my fist.
“Now it looks like everything is in vain.”
There is no time for this. For some reason, I feel like I need to do something quickly. My body was shaking wildly.
I thought the woman in front of me was saying something with a thoughtful expression, but I couldn’t hear it clearly.
“..S! Dyers! Latina’s body temperature is dropping!! If this goes on, she’ll die..!”
Dyers.
“Yes. My name is Dyers. My nickname is…”
That’s right. My name was Dyers. As soon as I realized that fact, my cheeks began to sting and my neck turned.
The woman in front of me, no, Kirshen, slapped me in the face.
“What kind of bullsh*t are you talking about? You’re a Howlan family wizard…! You even gave this kid a kidney… So do something…!”
Kirshen, who had been talking so loudly, lowered her head to check the Latina’s heart rate.
Howlan.
That’s right. My last name was Howlan. As soon as I heard those words, my memories came back little by little.
Grand Duke Howlan. My father A father who loved his mother more than anyone else. My mother loved my father more than anyone else.
When I was very young, a group of powerful monsters and tribal alliances were rampant in the North.
They suddenly attacked the territory, and my mother and I were attacked by the enemy and were separated.
When I was young, I did not understand the fact that I was separated from my mother. All she could think was that she had to save her mother.
I ran as fast as I could, shaking off the servants who were forcibly holding me. When I was out of breath and my legs started to hurt, I was able to meet my mother.
I shouldn’t have gone.
I should have followed the instructions of adults.
I had no power or ability to save my mother who was in battle. Rather, her mother saved her when she was in crisis. Her mother held me and ran endlessly.
My mother, who had barely brought me to safety, collapsed.
He was cursed by a powerful shaman. My mother still hasn’t woken up since then.
It’s all because of me.
My mother was a very strong person. If she hadn’t been attacked unexpectedly because she was taking care of me, or rather, if I hadn’t gone there in the first place, she would have definitely won.
I shouldn’t have gone.
I shouldn’t have gone.
My father, or rather Grand Duke Howlan, has not smiled once since the day my mother collapsed. I also didn’t laugh once.
My father told me with an expressionless face that he was fine. It’s not your fault. It is natural for children to want to see their parents.
However, I know my father’s sincerity. I still vividly remember what he said while drunk and grabbing me by the collar.
‘It would be better if you had never been born. My wife would have lived.’
At those words, I could only bow my head.
‘…I’m sorry.’
‘If you had never been born, my wife and I would have been happy for the rest of our lives.’
‘…I’m sorry. Sorry, sorry.’
‘You are the biggest curse my wife left me. Every time I see you, I think of my wife and it drives me crazy. Would it be better if I went crazy? Why, why did you go to your mother that day? Why!!’
‘I’m sorry…I’m really, really sorry.’
My father lost his mother because of me. These words were a natural reprimand. I completely accepted my father’s true feelings without saying a word. Because everything happened because of my fault.
If I keep going like this and lose my father… I won’t be able to live any longer.
‘Why didn’t you come to me instead? No, it would have been better for me to have stayed in my room that day. If that wasn’t the case, I would have just stayed in my room that day. ‘Shouldn’t you have just been born?’
After relieving all his emotions, the father falls asleep again. I carried my father to the bed and covered him with a blanket.
‘It would be good for your health to drink a little bit of alcohol…’
I was worried about my father and had no choice but to stop. Because I found a photo.
My mother’s photo was still hanging in the bedroom. When I looked at that picture, everything my father said seemed right.
That’s right, father.
Why was I born?
The person who was most precious to you was taken away, so what right do you have to still shamelessly pretend to be your son and worry about your health?
Father.
I want to go back.
Father.
It may be a trashy thought from a trashy guy, but I want to go back to the days when my family was in harmony again.
It is not a cowardly desire to be loved again. I just want to see my mother and father’s smiling faces.
I thought so while looking at my mother’s photo. ‘I’ was not included in the family I would return to. To my father, I am not a son but a curse.
But my mother is different. If only I had my mother, my father would be happy again.
My mother is not dead yet. Her doctor said she had a strong body that had to resist the constant curse to survive. To put it simply, it is a vegetative state.
I’m just cursed, but I’m not dead yet.
My father misses my mother.
Only then did it become clear what I had to do.
Let’s break our mother’s curse.
We might not be able to become our original family again, but at least the two of us would be happy. Just imagining that made me feel better.
From that day on, I began to study only curses.
To be more precise, the research focused on ‘how to absorb a curse’ and ‘how to receive a curse instead.’
Research continued even after I entered Beatus Academy. I recorded the simple details in my diary.
.
Before my eyes, the Latina collapsed, just wheezing. Fortunately, he was still conscious.
The once silky platinum-blond hair was completely stained pure white, as if it had been cursed.
Kirshen kept yelling at me. One thing was clear: the situation was urgent.
“Ugh.. My head hurts again..”
I guess it wasn’t enough even after my childhood memories came back.
Other memories became increasingly clearer.
After my mother was cursed, I closed my heart to others.
I kept my distance. This is because there was not enough time to research curses.
There was someone who approached me too.
Ludwig Persia Vivian was the chairman.
‘Are you this new student Dyers? Uh-so handsome! The black hair is really cool too~ Do you want to join the student council? I’m the student council president.’
“It’s a waste of time. Get out.”
‘Hmm-! It’s worth it! But I’m also really stubborn, right? I liked you ‘He is a handsome and gloomy face worthy of our student council, no, he is a talented person.’
‘Since when was it possible for a crazy person to come to Beatus? ‘I guess I didn’t hear you tell me to turn off.’
‘Oh my, you’re so picky. Okay, from now on your name is Magpie! Nickname… Um Dyers?’
‘The Ludwig family has reached the end of its life.’
‘Hmph, is that so? So are you coming in? Our student council always wants talented people like you!’
She was so full of energy that she was like the sun. It’s not so much burdensome as it is uncomfortable.
It was impossible for me to drop out of the academy after entering it with great difficulty.
I avoided her every time she approached me. After a month, it was even possible to activate the radar.
This is not a figurative expression, but in reality, I have placed a magic that makes this emergency bell ring every time Vivian appears.
‘Magpie, I’m here again!’
She didn’t give up chasing me for over a month. She was truly a crazy woman.
‘…Aren’t you the student council president? Is the chairman really such an idle position?!’
‘No? I’m confirmed to work overtime today too?’
Her expression quickly became glum. I was disgusted with myself because I found that look of her slightly, just slightly cute.
‘That’s good. Go quickly and do your job.’
‘That’s why I came to get you! There’s a lot of work to do, so no, I really need a junior… Now, let’s stop pushing and work together~’
President Vivian rubbed her face on my shoulder. She is truly a woman with no trace of her nobility.
Thanks to this performance-art-like behavior, rumors have already spread throughout the academy.
‘They’re really having fun, right?’
‘How do you become so close to a senior?’
‘That bastard, Dyers, is even flirting with the student council president just two months after he came in…!’
‘I’m sure they’re both having fun playing around. If Dyers didn’t like it, he would definitely kick it out. Are you going to play with words like that? He secretly enjoys it because the chairman is like that.’
I deliberately ignored it because it was annoying, but I’m getting such crazy reactions.
Today we have to make a deal. Because I absolutely cannot tolerate interference with my research.
More than anything, this red-haired woman was too loud. What was so happy about her was that she didn’t even like her smiling face every day.
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Even though her appearance is objectively pretty, her actions diminish all of her charm, so there really is no answer.
‘She said it several times. ‘She won’t join the student council.’
‘I see..! Well, I’ll come back tomorrow, bye~. I have to dream of myself when I sleep! A dream of deciphering curses while working overtime in the student council room with me!’
‘What kind of crazy nonsense… Curse?’
‘Yes, a curse. Recently, the curse issue came into my mind. As far as I know, there is only one person in Beatus who can solve this…’
Vivian began to look at me with strange eyes. Such a perverted b*tch.
‘…Don’t look at me with those eyes.’
‘I think there was a student who was so good at deciphering curses that he received an extra point out of perfect score at the entrance ceremony..’
‘….Don’t say things like that. Don’t even come close.’
‘If I solve this, I think my skills will improve even further… Huh? No, it just didn’t mean anything. ‘I’ll just go!’
President Vivian turned around. That damn woman is deliberately turning her body as slow as possible to look at me.
I ended up holding her hand.
I ended up making a mistake again.
‘…..Go.’
‘Huh? I can’t hear well because I work overtime every day~ What?’
‘Student Council, I will do it!’
She shouldn’t have held that hand.
‘hehehehe! Okay you’re mine! Let’s start working today!’
If I had known you were going to die, I would never have held your hand.