I Was Banished From the Hero Party I Raised chapter 41

9. Silvia (4)

-I love you.

Arya’s voice flowed from Aria’s tent that Ian had entered late at night.

The tailing Sylvie froze when she heard that.

Ian didn’t answer.

-I want you.

Sylvie heard only that far and ran away.

If I heard more, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

*

Ian reflected on what he had just heard.

Did you hear me wrong?

Did Arya say something wrong?

However, Arya’s expression was unpretentious.

“… What are we going to do? Call me for a massage.”

“Sylvia said so. I tried it, how is it?”

“I didn’t know you had a bad taste for eavesdropping. If that’s the case, I’ll just go.”

“Don’t go.”

Arya asked calmly.

It was difficult for Ian to follow this flow.

He vaguely knew that Sylvie liked him.

However, the other three are not at all.

Kylie basically hates Ian, who is much weaker than herself.

Beatrice was bothered that she was following because it would benefit her.

Arya has no feelings at all.

So Ian never approached the three more than necessary.

Nicknames are just shortened names to make it easier to call them, except for Sylvie.

In the first place, Arya does not even treat all humans as beings equal to herself.

In her way of thinking, humans are equal to things.

An object with some ‘feature’.

A bowl contains food, and food has the function of giving a feeling of fullness.

Some men stand guard, some carry burdens, some rule the world.

That’s Arya’s point of view.

To Arya, Ian was just a functional person who gave money and fame.

That, in turn, also applies to Arya herself.

To Ian, Arya is one of the humans who will perform the ‘function’ of killing the demon king.

“Are you kidding me? It’s not a very funny prank.”

“It’s no joke. To be honest, I don’t even love you.”

“Leah, tell me so I can understand what you mean.”

“Um… .”

Aria stumbled with her braided legs and pondered briefly.

Then she stared at Ian with her eyes shining innocently.

“I want to have someone named Ian.”

I realized it when I met his eyes.

She entered the target of greed that Arya had set.

Arya was a person who wanted a lot.

At the same time, he was also a person who didn’t try because he knew he couldn’t have it all.

Ian promised her more than hard work, and let her have everything she wanted.

The target was usually a rare object, the admiration of an unspecified number of people, or someone’s approval.

I’ve never pinpointed an individual and wanted that in itself.

After all, what she wants from people is function.

Even the admiration and recognition she desired were merely functional means.

She declared that she was greedy for Ian himself.

“… I am not a thing.”

“I know. So I want more. Because it’s the first time I want to have a person.”

“I have no intention of being possessed, but I am curious because it is so out of the blue. Why?”

“Because I realized I couldn’t have it.”

To Arya, Ian wasn’t even a target of interest.

However, I realized the moment I overheard their conversation with Sylvia.

That he couldn’t have Ian no matter what he did.

It was a truly selfish idea.

I don’t need it, I don’t want it, but I wanted to have it because I confirmed the rarity that I couldn’t have it.

Ian laughed out loud because he was so ridiculous.

“I thought Kylie was the most insane, but you won.”

“So, will you?”

“no.”

Ian cast his gaze somewhere and said firmly.

“I already have someone who promised me.”

“is that so… .”

“And it doesn’t matter if no one promised. I have to say something that makes sense.”

farther away

The chances of getting it are even lower.

So, I wanted more.

A greater desire reminds us of the opposite.

‘If I can never have it, what should I do then… .’

*

“I won’t.”

“uh?”

“I’m not a warrior. I don’t know why Whether the demon king dies or not.”

“Sylvie. Why all of a sudden···.”

“I don’t know, I just don’t want to do it. I’d rather just die. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because there are Aria and other members besides me.”

Ian grasped his intentions in the last words.

“Is it because you were with Aria yesterday?”

“not really?”

“her… .”

When I say no, it shows on my face.

From time to time, Sylvie would reveal her exclusive desire for herself.

At that time, I was just in trouble and soothed it.

It was strange that he felt that Sylvie was cute today.

“That’s because nothing happened. How far have you heard?”

“I heard everything.”

“You are lying.”

“I don’t know, I won’t.”

Ian pondered for a moment how to calm her down.

The relationship between the two has already crossed a certain line to be subtle.

Didn’t you ask me to wait until I killed the demon king?

It was no different than showing each other’s hearts.

If that was the case, Ian had no intention of stepping down.

“What should I do to make our Sylvie feel better?”

“… Hug me for now.”

Ian did as he requested.

“and?”

“Don’t talk to Arya from now on. And Mercy and Katy.”

“… Sylvie. That is practically impossible.”

“why? You can do it.”

“I swear I have no feelings for those three. But all three of them are people who form a party, and I am in a position to gather and coordinate opinions among them.”

“If I don’t want to do it, just don’t do it.”

“Sylvie.”

Obviously, the two confirmed each other’s feelings, but it wasn’t that it wasn’t.

“Separate public and life.”

“So you want to talk to them? Is it not enough for me? It’s okay, I’m not going to do it.”

“Sylvie… .”

“I don’t know, annoying.”

Sylvie pushed Ian and left.

There was a slight crack in the rib.

“I can’t control my strength… .”

Sylvie’s complaints and anxiety, which she thought would stop for a while, got worse day by day.

Knowing that Ian was terminally ill was one of the reasons.

While I was not confident, the delusion that Ian might die suddenly kept rising.

At the time, Ian was away a lot, and Sylvie was the same.

There wasn’t much time for the two of them to be together.

At such times, Sylvie could not overcome her anxiety and often caused trouble to those around her.

The target was mainly Kati.

“Where is Ian?”

“He went away from the trade street of the upper tier, where he used to trade food, and went to look for other suppliers.”

“Bring it. You can talk to Ian here, or you can follow right away.”

“Master is busy.”

“Why do you keep calling Ian your master? Why is Ian your master?”

“… … .”

“Why do you have that ring… . On the subject of Mine… .”

Kati was silent, expressionless.

There was nothing else to say.

Because he knew that Sylvia was more important than himself.

Secretly moving the ring to her ring finger, then returning it to her index finger whenever Sylvia or Ian saw her was all she could do to resist.

“Ian, why did you come back so late?”

“yes? Came back earlier than expected… .”

“late! It’s late! How long have I waited! Who were you with? Were there any women?”

“They were all men.”

“Do not lie. There must have been a lady-in-waiting.”

“To say that I was with the people carrying food… .”

“And he said that there are many men who lust after the same man among nobles.”

“Why do you remember such strange things so well?”

Until then, Ian thought it was because Sylvie was not good at expressing her feelings.

I believed it would get better with time.

However, Sylvie’s anxiety symptoms did not improve.

Doesn’t it break out on the way to the dungeon and find Ian, or doesn’t it completely collapse the dungeon no matter what the surrounding village or terrain is?

“Ian! Here it is?!”

He even openly invaded the meeting between Ian and the national executives.

After knocking out all the soldiers standing in the way.

“… Sylvie? Why aren’t you on the wire… .”

“Why is there a woman here?”

The woman sitting in the seat of honor recognized Sylvie and stood up hesitantly.

Before the regent could introduce herself, Sylvie tried to take Ian out.

“for a moment! what are you doing now… .”

“Why are you with a girl? What were you two talking about?”

Ian looked around before answering.

Everyone was distracted by the sudden appearance of Sylvie.

I can’t talk here, so Ian apologized and briefly left the meeting room with Sylvie.

“Why are you here?”

“Answer me.”

“… It wasn’t just two, it was 10 people. And nine of them were men.”

“It doesn’t matter! Why are you not with me and with another woman!”

“Sylvie, this border country needs to be managed well as a supply route near the frontline and as one of the 2nd line of defense… .”

“Is that more important than me?”

The story keeps going wrong.

Sylvie wanted to be the only thing in the world to Ian.

I wanted nothing but myself.

“Ian. don’t you believe me Why are other things important to killing the Demon King? just stay with me don’t go anywhere huh? I will protect you. I will kill the demon king too. I’ll do it all. Stay with me, okay?”

“Sylvie… . You’re not quite there yet.”

“Then watch me grow stronger.”

“And you said war would come. What about other people… .”

“Are they more important than me?!”

“You know it isn’t. And, you are not like this. It’s disrespectful behavior.”

“Why should I be polite to them?”

“you… . Whoa, go with me and apologize for now.”

“why me?”

“Sylvie. It’s a place where many people gather to discuss important issues. You shouldn’t come in or go out like this.”

Ian spoke like a child.

Sylvie wanted to refuse, but when she saw Ian’s stern gaze, she lowered her tail.

“okay… .”

I apologized, but only then.

I couldn’t calm Sylvie’s anxiety.

I had to force my affection on Ian without a break.

“I am having a hard time. I just won’t.”

“Am I precious? It doesn’t seem like it these days.”

“How much do you like me? Which of us do you like best? in the world?”

“Ian didn’t want to see me, did he? It seemed so.”

Whenever that happened, Ian, at least when he was the only victim, tried to please Sylvie as much as possible.

Sylvie was boosted with a tingling sense of conquest every time she saw him at a loss.

It was such a pleasure to see how important he was to Ian.

Sylvie was unobstructed.

Anyway, if Ian is not confident, he will become weak and cannot kill the demon king.

So no matter what Sylvie said, Ian realized that he had no choice but to adapt to himself.

Ian also knew that her words were not sincere but grievous, so he accepted them even though it was difficult.

There was also a sense of responsibility that he had already begun to accept her love.

Also, I felt guilty for telling the truth too late.

If Sylvie could be satisfied with that emotional abuse, even for a moment, she could handle it.

Then one day.

“Um, this… .”

A woman came to Ian and handed him a letter.

“Ah yes. … No sender name? Where are you from?”

“I-I wrote it.”

“… yes?”

Ian looked at the shy woman.

It’s not the first time this has happened, but honestly, it’s annoying as I have to check important correspondence every time.

“You shouldn’t come here for something like this… .”

– Creepy.

The instinct accumulated over a long period of time screamed.

Without thinking, Ian threw himself at the woman.

Immediately after, a sharp ice flower bloomed in the place where the two left.

“Ian… . What are you doing? Why are you hugging her?”

“Sylvie, now you… . What are you doing?”

“You tried to approach Ian recklessly. So I… .”

“Please, you want to kill people for that reason… .”

As Ian spoke, he realized that the woman was still listening.

At this rate, bad reviews about the first party might circulate.

“I’m sorry that friend has been having a hard time lately. Come back at once. Talk to the elf outside and I’ll give you a decent reward.”

“Are you siding with that bitch?”

“Sylvie… . It’s not like that. Do you know what you were about to do?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it’s important. You were about to kill someone.”

“… Why, why are you scolding me? did i do something wrong? I, I… .”

“You are right.”

“Why, why me… .”

Sylvie whined and tried to hug Ian, but Ian didn’t hug her right away.

“Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“Otherwise it can be… .”

“And go and apologize to that person.”

After promising several times with a teary face, Ian was able to hug her.

In the end, I couldn’t beat Sylvie.

Even if it was unintentional, he is a child who was encouraged, turned away, and stimulated.

He himself had a great responsibility.

Sylvie realized something different.

Even if he does bad things, Ian doesn’t hate himself.

That’s because Ian loves himself that much.

So, it boils down to the logic that the more evil you do, the more you can realize Ian’s love.

“I hate this. do something else.”

Sylvie threw the food Ian prepared on the floor and spat out.

Ian followed the instructions without a word.

Sylvie deliberately pushed Ian away.

I wished it would hang a little longer.

I hoped for more of myself, and wanted to show my liking.

Otherwise, I’m too anxious.

“Ian… . You’re really weak, you’re weak. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why you want to kill the demon king. So what if I can’t do it? Am I the only one?”

“Ian, I don’t know what you’re doing. Shouldn’t it be just me? I’ll admit at least the other kids in the first party. To be honest, you won’t be of much help in killing the demon lord. So don’t go anywhere, just stay with me.”

In front of Ian, he treated him openly.

Still, Ian hid his displeasure and hit Sylvie.

Now she didn’t raid Ian’s public seat.

Instead, he started beating him upon his return.

“Ouch, it hurts man.”

There was a clear intention and power in the fists and kicks that he wielded as if grumbling.

“I was more sick.”

that was right

Because Ian made me sick.

Also, because of Ian in the past, it was so hard and hurt.

He believed that he had the right to bully Ian that much.

And if it was Ian, he had no doubt that he would love even himself.

Ian should be.

It was the right thing to do because there was a mistake I had done to myself.

On the other hand, he wanted to see Ian sighing at himself like before, again.

Then he could drive Ian even more.

It’ll stimulate Ian’s guilt, and he’ll be able to tie it to himself more.

The intensity of violence gradually increased.

Originally, Ian was not the type to show off his pain, but especially in front of Sylvie.

He endured even when his bones were broken, and healed himself with potions at night.

He thought that Sylvie’s heart was the price of a sin she hadn’t recognized earlier.

Kati was heartbroken whenever she saw him unable to sleep due to potion addiction.

I know that he is partly responsible for Sylvie’s distortion.

But, is it still necessary to do this?

Is it right to give this kind of dignity?

Of the four members of the first party, the one Kati recognized was Sylvia.

Although jealous, compared to the other three, she treats Ian as a person.

But lately, Kati has hated Sylvia the most.

It was a problem between the two of them, so I couldn’t intervene.

Because of Sylvia, she hadn’t even gotten close to Ian lately.

Instead, every time Ian struggled to sleep, Kati couldn’t fall asleep either.

It was normal for Sylvie to quarrel here and there, but that was not the case with the other 1st party members.

It couldn’t be.

‘Because you’ll need it to kill the Demon King… .’

I packed it for that reason, but I was actually afraid.

If you are weaker than Kylie, Beatrice, or Aria.

If the possibility of killing the demon king is the lowest among them.

Might be abandoned by Ian.

In the end, it was Kati and Mercy who took the damage in the absence of Ian.

“Mercy… . Honestly, you know you’re the most useless here, right? I don’t even know how to fight. What do you need to kill the demon lord… . Ian almost died because of you, but shamelessly, they still stick together.”

They didn’t want to worry Ian, so they didn’t tell him.

But there were no eternal secrets.

“I know you’re alive thanks to Ian.”

“… … .”

“By the way, if you want to kill all the demons, you have to kill them later too… .”

“Sylvie… ? What are you doing right now?”

“Ian!”

Sylvie smiled so brightly that it didn’t match what she just said.

However, Ian couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you saying to Kati… .”

“Is that right?”

“What is right?”

“That’s right. He’s a demon.”

“… … .”

Sylvie had absolute justice on her back.

He is a wizard of the 1st Hero Party.

He is loved by Ian, and Ian acknowledges himself no matter what he does.

At the same time, Ian was hurting himself first.

So, no matter what you do, your actions are justice.

“Sylvie, I apologize.”

“… what?”

“Apologize to Kati. Until now he… .”

“Are you siding with me now?”

“uh. That’s right now.”

“Right… ?”

Sylvie’s face turned red in rare cases.

Kati, who was watching the situation, cautiously intervened.

“Master, I’m fine… .”

“Stay still.”

Recently, Sylvie’s behavior has crossed the line.

If it was directed at you, that’s fine.

However, harm to others must be prevented unconditionally.

This is also for silbi.

Sylvie looked at Kati and Ian alternately, then spat out coldly.

“why me?”

“you… .”

“So, are you going to hate me? you won’t love me? Don’t you need me?”

“That is not the crux of the matter now.”

“No, that’s always the point for me.”

They speak the same language, but they are not speaking the same language.

There was no way to have a conversation.

Sylvie glared at Kati with the intent to kill her, then left without a word.

This time, Ian didn’t follow right away.

“Master, I’m really fine.”

“Hey, what are you… . Ah-oh. Aren’t you the first to do this?”

“… … .”

“It varies… .”

Ian’s thoughts soon reached Mercy.

Except for Sylvie and Kati, the person closest to her here.

“Maybe Mercy… .”

“… no.”

“You don’t lie to me. You can see everything.”

Ian walked to Sylvie’s tent.

I could accept complaints against myself, but this wasn’t it.

“Sylvie.”

“Oh, Ian.”

Looking at Ian, who was a little colder than usual, Sylvie was fine today.

She just thought so.

How much does Ian love me?

Even if he behaves as meanly as he does today, he will eventually give in to himself.

It’s out of necessity, but love is probably the bigger reason.

Guilt is also part of love, so it was obvious that Ian really loved himself a lot.

So far, Sylvie has crossed the line little by little.

Do something Ian doesn’t like, and see Ian’s reaction.

If it’s okay, cross the line more.

Ian has never pushed Sylvie away.

How far will you push yourself if you cross the line?

No matter how much I go over, I won’t be able to push it.

“You still have Mercy… .”

“Ian, you know.”

Sylvie cut off her words and asked.

“Do you love me?”

“Don’t avoid answering.”

“I am asking you seriously. If you answer, I will answer too.”

“… … .”

Ian pondered for a moment.

It’s not because I don’t love you.

It’s just that I can’t read Sylvie’s thoughts right now.

Sylvie’s innocent expression calmly demanded an answer.

“Whoa… . that… .”

He put on an expression of embarrassment and discomfort, which he had never shown in his life, even though it didn’t match the situation, and even cleared his throat a few times before answering cautiously.

It was the first word I ever uttered in my entire life.

“… Yes, I love you.”

Sylvie gulped down her saliva and barely held on to her trembling heart.

It’s not just that I finally heard the unconfirmed feelings.

He was going crazy with anticipation of how Ian, who loved him, would react to what he would do from now on.

A snowfield that no one has ever stepped on.

It is the moment when you first set foot on a white field covered with freshly fallen snow.

Sylvie spoke as calmly as possible.

“I see… . But there is.”

Suppressing the quickening of his breath, he exhaled calmly.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Thoughts and words intersect.

‘You need me.’

“I hate you.”

‘You can’t help but love me.’

Sylvia showed a troubled smile, just like the time Ian had hurt her.

‘I’m doing this because I love you too, so please understand.’

By changing the echo of ‘I love you’ to ‘I’m sorry’.

“Sorry.”

‘I love you.’