10. Dull and Genius (5)
Helena had a dream.
A dream in which a family dies, is beaten by Salome, abandoned by Rachel, and then meets a man with a light.
The light emanating from him was not even a halo.
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Just, as if he were the light, there was a light in his center.
But soon the light goes out.
Because, Helena, you don’t even deserve the light to shine on you.
Helena couldn’t catch him walking away.
I know very well that I don’t deserve it and I don’t deserve it.
‘Yes, this suits me… .’
I know, but I don’t want to go.
There are many things I want to say, but I don’t know what to say.
So just call me by name
“Ian… .”
“yes?”
“… uh?”
Helena opened her eyes.
A familiar landscape, Ian’s room.
And Ian, sitting in a chair next to him, was looking down at Helena.
“I-Ian… ? Here, uh, how could I… .”
A headache cracked my head, injecting me with forgotten memories.
It reminded me of the past where I passed out after running too hard, unable to overcome my inferiority complex.
Helena was seized with fear.
“I, I, I, I’m sorry… . This is what it is, I’m sorry… . I give my lungs to Ian… .”
Helena trembled and stood up.
I made a mistake.
Wrong.
Then, it is natural to get scolded.
You will be scolded, your evaluation will be cut, your value will fall, and you will be turned away.
Beyond betraying Ian’s expectations, he caused concern by behaving at his own pace.
It’s a nuisance in itself.
It was clear that I would be turned away, but I didn’t want to be turned away.
‘scared… .’
Helena couldn’t bear to look at Ian anymore, and muttered with her head down.
“Sorry, sorry… . Please, please don’t abandon me… .”
“what the.”
Ian burst out laughing, then pressed Helena’s forehead gently and gently laid her down.
“Ian… ?”
Ian smiled bitterly at Helena.
It was not meant to be reprimanded.
Ian said quietly.
“Were you very anxious?”
“… … .”
after a moment of silence.
Tears flowed from Helena’s eyes.
she wasn’t conscious of it.
Ian looked at it and said.
“I know what you mean. Vivian and comparable. Compared to Vivian, Helena now… Yes, to be honest, it’s still lacking. But I said Rest is also training.”
“… … .”
“I know you are anxious, and I know that telling you not to be anxious will not make it go away. I know, but there is no need to be afraid.”
Acknowledge the unavoidable anxiety.
However, he denies the fear that comes from it.
“You said you wanted to see what I saw with Helena, right?”
“Yes… .”
“I still have a long way to go to see that. But, I can definitely show you. That’s what I bet. So let’s not be afraid, us. Anxiety can be a motivator, but fear only breaks the will.”
“… … .”
“And, I won’t throw away the person I picked.”
I don’t know if I was abandoned first.
He swallowed the words behind him.
“I, I, I… . I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… !”
Helena pulled herself under the covers and swallowed her tears as if hiccupping.
I don’t know how long it’s been since I cried like this in front of anyone.
“Oh… ! Awesome… !”
It’s so embarrassing, but Chimi can’t stop crying.
Tears welled up incessantly, as if a piled up dam had collapsed.
After waiting for it to subside for a while, Ian said playfully.
“Did you forget I said I was hooked? Even though I used it in front of other people.”
“… I remember.”
“… I can honestly forget about it. Anyway, let’s get some rest until tomorrow and start with sand again.”
“Yes… . I wonder how… .”
“It’s time to fall down after sunset, and soon the sun will rise again.”
“Then Ian… .”
Does that mean you’ve been sitting next to me and taking care of me?
Helena couldn’t bear to say that.
If that happened, I felt so sorry and guilty that I was about to collapse.
Ian shrugged and said it didn’t matter.
“That’s what I do.”
“… … .”
“Since Vivian is asleep, you can just sleep here today. Don’t go and wake me up.”
“sorry… .”
Helena was about to say something, but kept her mouth shut.
This feeling, this kind of treatment, this kind of comfort.
never, never experienced
Something else rises in my heart again.
No crying this time.
The warm feelings that had to be buried because they could not be seen by others rise above the soil.
This is also scary, and it seems difficult to handle, but it is so precious that I cannot refuse it.
The words I wanted to say to Ian I couldn’t find in my nightmare.
finally realized that
not an apology
Helena now.
“… thank you.”
I was so grateful to Ian that I even felt holy.
The name Ian was added to the faith that had been cut off, and it began to take on a new look.
“Sleep more. Or would you like some water?”
“Yeah, sore throat… .”
Helena gulped down the water Ian had given her and sat there for a while.
Ian watched her quietly from the side, in case she wanted anything more.
I was a little ashamed of that extreme sincerity.
“I, then, I will go to sleep… .”
“Sleep well.”
“Ian-nim, aren’t you sleeping… ?”
“I can’t sleep now. Stop talking and go to sleep.”
“crime… thank you.”
Helena quickly fell asleep.
Thanks to the sound sleep, the face and lips are back to life.
Looking at the fresh orange, Ian felt a strange sense of identity.
The past where I overworked my body to the point of gnawing away my lifespan because all I could do was work hard.
Now he has already surpassed that level, but at one time Ian was like that too.
He looked down at Helena and smiled.
There is no separate petting area.
[master.]
‘… You said I was sleeping earlier.’
[…] … .]
‘Why did you call me?’
[Is Helena okay?]
‘okay. I just woke up, talked well, and went back to sleep. If I send it there, Vivian and Mercy will break, so I’m going to put it here today. Those two?’
[Mercy fell asleep early, and Vivian fell asleep a little late while worrying.]
‘If the nun suddenly found out, I’d be very sorry. Why aren’t you sleeping?’
[…] … .]
‘You go to sleep too. Everything is fine now.’
[…] Okay. Master, please sleep too.]
‘okay.’
Ian knows what Kati is worried about.
There was a time when the 1st party members also pushed themselves to do well by themselves.
Of course, they were monsters among monsters, so they didn’t faint like Helena.
Rather than anxiety, it was because of the competitive spirit that he always had to be the best, so his motivation was different from Helena.
Kati is worried about that.
I’m afraid that Helena’s inferiority complex will turn into hostility towards Ian or the disintegration of the entire party.
‘That’s a matter for me to take care of, not for you to care… .’
It wasn’t that he didn’t know that feeling, so Ian felt sorry and thankful for nothing.
[master.]
‘Why aren’t you sleeping?’
[good night.]
‘Okay, sleep well too.’
The sky outside the window gradually brightened, and the sun rose.
Even then, Ian was sitting next to Helena.
‘After recovering, I’ll look at Helena’s condition and find out about the next dungeon. It would be nice if it was a place where I could get at least one hidden piece that would be useful for the two of us.’
Coincidentally, an artifact that could be obtained around this time was subject to memory correction.
‘Automatic Interceptor Summoning Ring.’
A ring that allows you to summon a magical body that fires stored magic at the enemy in response to the wearer’s will or hostility towards the wearer.
There is a cooldown between launches, but if stored, it is an artifact that draws the wearer’s mana and fires it without casting.
Its destructive power is limited, so its value is lowered in high-level dungeons.
‘That also varies slightly depending on the user’s responsiveness and suitability, but even so, it’s an item with clear limits.’
Even taking that into account, it suits Vivian, who is still a beginner and lacks the means to defend herself.
‘I’ll have to check Helena’s condition to know, but the difficulty of the dungeon with the hidden piece seems to be suitable for the two of us right now.’
Then, for a moment, strawberries came to mind.
I think I forgot something… .
‘… oh You haven’t bought the magic book yet. I’ll have to buy Vivian a book before Helena recovers. I’ll need magic to use when cooperating.’
*
Vivian is in trouble these days.
‘Helena… .’
It doesn’t matter that Helena lags behind him.
Everyone’s growth is different, and Helena just started training, so it’s natural.
I don’t know why I’m worried about Helena sleeping in Ian’s room after overtraining yesterday, but it’s not like I’m worried.
However, the problem was that one of the causes of Helena’s collapse was herself.
Neither Ian nor Helena told her, but Vivian intuitively recognized that she had fueled Helena’s feelings of inferiority.
‘What should I do… .’
It’s not a problem Vivian can solve, but I wanted to be of some help.
Maybe you can find the answer from your experience.
When a new child enters the orphanage, the existing children naturally start to be territorial or subtly ostracize them.
Time is the answer as we naturally get to know each other while staying together, but Vivian knows how to solve it a little faster.
Let the old children help the new child.
Ironically, if you know that the other person is inferior to you, you can get a little closer to that person.
And vice versa.
If someone who only felt difficult to you helps you, the door to your heart will naturally open.
‘Helena won’t grow much if I help her… .’
It was only natural that Vivian did not teach better than Ian.
However, I have no doubt that just forming a friendship between the two in that way will be of great help to Helena.
How surprised I was when Helena didn’t come in late yesterday and said she passed out.
When I wake up, I want to do better than usual and help.
‘What could be… .’
At the base of this concern is the reason why he is not mature enough for a 25-year-old adult after 5 years of adulthood.
Compared to Vivian, Helena is clearly dull.
Of course, Ian’s attention is bound to be more focused on Helena.
Vivian consciously ignored this inevitable favoritism and resentment she had to know empirically.
‘If Helena gets better and gets along with me, it’ll boost the morale and strength of the whole party, as well as the time and attention Ian will give me… is not very important… If it’s important, maybe it’s important… .’
He was trying to calm down his childlike mind with adult-like behavior.
Compared to Sylvia, who suppressed her so that she couldn’t talk to other people and intentionally tried to monopolize attention while hurting her, it was a unique, productive, and charming response.
‘Exercise… .’
Miracles are not a field that Vivien can be with.
Then, how about giving assistance or assistance in the daily exercise together?
Vivian put her hands on the floor and looked down.
Push-ups are said to strengthen the entire upper body.
I performed the movements while paying attention to the angle of the elbow and the movement of the muscles that Ian told me.
‘Maybe there’s something I can tell you from the standpoint of learning together… .’
– Molkan.
Something hit me before I even got down.
The sportswear Taylor gave me tightly pressed against my chest, but it wasn’t the everyday clothes I’m wearing now.
“… … .”
Even though no one was looking, Vivian woke up with her face flushed.
‘Mmmmm… . Ah, anyway, today Helena said she was getting a good rest. Starting tomorrow, I’ll try to be more active. Because I’m your sister… .’
– Smart smart.
“Vivian, can I come in?”
It was Ian.
“uh? Yes Yes… !”
Vivian hurriedly adjusted her dressing.
Isn’t it time to come?
Isn’t it time to nurse the sleeping Helena?
Ian entered and stared at Vivian’s face.
“why… ?”
Ian had to answer that question, but it was short, but he pondered deeply.
What was he doing, his face so red and he seemed a little out of breath, and he was so flustered that he was tidying up his clothes… .
Let’s not ask.
“Oh, well, that… .”
I try not to think about it, but bad thoughts keep coming to my mind.
Because of that, Ian stuttered without even realizing it.
Vivian tilted her head as she saw him blushing even to her ears.
“Hmm. Well, maybe that… Anything to do now? We are busy… Any?”
It was Ian who was rarely awkward and stuttered.
“Ugh. There is nothing. I was thinking of writing a letter to the kids, but I don’t have to do it now.”
“Um… . Then let’s go out with me.”
“… yes?”
Vivian looked beyond Ian.
There was no Katy, no Mercy, no Helena.
“… Are you two?”
“yes.”
A delusion flared up in Vivian’s head.
The countless stories I’ve overheard gossip or gossip.
The fact that two men and women who have no reason to do so make time for each other alone… .
The fact that the man who is telling it is so embarrassed and embarrassed… !
‘This shouldn’t be like this… . I’m that, a warrior, and Ian is… .’
Vivian replied with a more flushed face.
“Okay… .”
“… Then let’s go.”
Vivian followed Ian as if possessed.
And Ian felt a little sorry.
‘Did I not notice too much… ? This is my first time ever… . Be more careful next time… , But how should I be careful about this… . driving me crazy. even hear… .’
“ha… .”
Ian let out a deep sigh involuntarily.
“yes? What’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing… .”
Looking at Ian, who couldn’t even look at her with her ears red, Vivian’s delusion circuit went back on.
Feeling awkward with each other because of their own misunderstandings, the two left the training center.
*
An extravagant carriage advances toward the open gates of Badenberg.
The cheers of the surrounding crowd pounded the carriage, but those inside did not show their faces.
It’s the day the first party leaves Badenberg and goes to deal with the Class A dungeon Penny instructed.
There was a cold, awkward silence in the carriage.
Even when they kicked out Ian and entered Badenberg, each of the four got into a carriage and greeted the cheers of the people with all their bodies.
Nobody was in the mood for that now.
Even though the cheering was no different from then, it was just annoying today.
Kylie stood still with her arms folded and her eyes closed.
Beatrice rested her chin on her face and looked out with a sullen face.
Arya was staring blankly at her palm.
Sylvia took out a notebook the size of the palm of her hand and scribbled something.
‘What I did wrong and what I should be thankful for… .’
Sylvia was writing the wrong answer notebook she used to use when studying with Ian.
The subject is Ian.
Come to think of it, there were a lot of wrong answers in the behavior I showed on the last visit.
It would be the right thing to apologize first.
So, Sylvia carefully organized the things she would tell if she met Ian again.
Things you should apologize for doing wrong.
Received from Ian, things to be thankful for.
‘And what else… .’
Besides that, I also recorded everything that happened with Ian like a diary.
I paused my pen for a moment and thought about it.
“Sylvia-! You’re the best, Sylvia-! Thank you for saving me!”
Someone shouted to cut their throats.
Sylvia skimmed through the awkward atmosphere of the carriage and looked outside through the small window.
The person who said it could not be identified.
Crowds of people who could not cross a certain distance were densely packed and swayed like grass in a field.
‘Thank you for saving me… .’
Does the present self really deserve to hear such words?
Even if he said that to Ian every day, it wouldn’t be enough.
Feeling complacent, Sylvia glanced out the window.
So many people want their attention, appreciate them, and pin their hopes on them.
It is a landscape that was taken for granted, like everyday life, and was delighted with the natural situation.
Today, the scenery is unfamiliar.
Sylvia’s gaze went far beyond the crowd.
Badenberg is a fairly well-organized city, though not quite as well as Superbia.
Looking at the panoramic view of the city, another memory with Ian came to mind.
Occasionally, on days off, the two of them would take a walk along the promenade or along the river in Superbia.
One of the most memorable was the first time I went to buy a magic book.
It was before he became famous, and it was a time when Ian and Sylvia were alone.
Despite having the goal of killing the demon king, it was a day when I was slowly colored by Ian in a very simple and peaceful daily life.
Even now, if I close my eyes, I feel like I can catch the temperature and smell of the street at that time.
Tears streamed down the corners of Sylvia’s eyes as she looked out the window.
She lowered her head again and wrote down the memories of that day in her notebook.
There are so many things I want to say when I see him again.
But, can it be?
Where are you and what are you doing now?
I’d like to run out of here and trace Ian’s trail, starting with McDerlin’s Abbey, but I know I shouldn’t.
More than anything else, Ian wouldn’t want him.
The cold truth seems to bite the heart.
So Sylvia was engrossed in brooding over the warm memories of the past.
Hoping to see you again someday.
‘Ian, I miss you… .’