75 – Dreams and Ordinary Mornings
A strange room you see for the first time. I was there.
There, I was wiping the tears of Iris who was crying.
I don’t know why she is crying
It’s so peaceful, I don’t know why I’m crying sadly.
i can’t understand her
I couldn’t understand her, but I wiped her tears.
I keep wiping away her tears, but they don’t lessen. It doesn’t dry out.
It flows down effortlessly.
The endless stream of tears soaked the hem of my clothes, and her hand touched my cheek.
She mumbles something as she cries, but you can’t hear it.
I can’t hear her voice, but it’s not frustrating. Rather calm.
To the point where everything feels numb…
I don’t like that feeling.
As I thought so, her lips touched mine.
Breathing is intertwined.
Breathing entangled, he carefully hugged her.
don’t know what it means It’s just because she likes it.
I can’t understand her liking things like this, but I respect her because she’s my wife and I have to protect her. I followed her will.
That’s the couple’s notice, my duty.
With that thought in mind, as I embraced her, the world began to shake and crumble.
Fragments of a crumbling world fall over her head.
I tried to wrap her up to protect her, but she pushed me.
Pushed by her, he fell through the cracks in the shattered world.
As she fell, the shape of her mouth was slow but clear.
[I love you]
With those words, she disappeared.
It broke my serenity.
Tranquility is broken and torn. It melted.
Fragments of ruined serenity turned into pain and cut me out.
In the pain of being cut out of my life, I fell into darkness.
Read at noblemtl.com
Laughter is heard from beyond the darkness.
Even though the joy is thick, the eerie laugh sound.
The sound of that laugh is familiar for some reason.
I must have heard a voice, but I can’t remember it.
can’t remember The pain of cutting me out doesn’t give me a chance to think of it.
I just struggled in pain and vomited out the pain.
The deep pain became as clear as death, and I opened my eyes.
I felt a warm, peaceful warmth and saw the sleeping Iris.
It was only when I saw her that the reverberations of my dreams dissipated, and fragments of the eerie serenity disappeared.
It was a strange dream. It is a strange dream in which the pain is terribly vivid.
So glad. I’m glad it was a dream.
Thinking so, I drove away the remnants of my dream with her warmth.
The remnants of the dream disappeared, and the energy of sleep completely dissipated.
When I looked around the room after all the energy of sleep was gone, it was a night full of darkness.
It’s time to sleep more, but I’m completely out of sleep, and I don’t feel like sleeping more.
So, after filling my heart with her warmth for a while, I carefully got out of bed.
Fortunately, she didn’t wake up.
Read at noblemtl.com
Leaving her peacefully asleep behind, I headed outside with a disturbed mind.
When you come out, the wind blows.
Summer is coming soon, but the night wind is still cool.
The wind is not pleasant today.
As I walked in such an unwelcome wind, I realized that it was too dark.
Realizing this, I looked up at the sky, and the moon did not rise today.
Read at noblemtl.com
Lonely stars try to light up the dark sky, but it’s not enough.
The weak starlight cannot replace the moonlight that brightens the night.
It’s obvious, but today it feels sad.
Today, in a strangely negative emotion, I moved my steps again.
The aimless steps wandered for a while before heading towards the garden.
The garden he was tending with her felt a little lifeless, perhaps because it was time for spring to leave, or because it couldn’t absorb the moonlight.
I don’t like it.
Thinking so, I strolled through the garden.
As I was walking around the garden, I saw an evening primrose sleeping in the corner of the garden.
The moon is not rising, so the flowers sleeping waiting for the moon look pitiful and sad.
I don’t like it.
I don’t like either one today.
I was happy even before I fell asleep…
Is it because of a dream? Or is it because of lack of sleep?
I don’t know.
I don’t know the reason for this feeling.
I don’t know the cause, but I think this feeling will get worse if it stays like this.
So, to get back to where I should be, I moved on.
On her way back to her room, she noticed a wine cellar.
The place I found in my last life, but I don’t find it now.
After standing in front of it for a while, I took a drink and came out like the old days.
I packed strong drinks and headed to my room in the previous life.
Since no one was using it, I headed to the terrace of a room with no trace of people.
It was my favorite place to see the scenery.
The scenery is darker and more faded than usual today, but that’s okay.
‘Cause I’m just drinking
With that thought in mind, I drank while pushing away the strange feeling.
As in the old days, I drank alcohol alone.
While doing so, a bitter and poisonous taste filled my mouth like an old memory.
I like the taste, but I don’t like it.
It was good to be able to write a depressed and sick feeling and forget about it for a while with the strong taste.
I hated myself for relying on things like this and trying to forget them.
So I liked it and hated it.
that’s the old me
I drank like that ugly me.
I drank enough to get drunk.
But, like the old days, this feeling will never be forgotten. does not blur
Rather, it becomes clearer and more intense, and I can feel it permeating deeper.
I don’t like it.
Feeling that way, I moved my steps back to where I should have been.
Carefully opened her door and returned.
I see her sleeping just like that.
I did not lie down next to her so that the strong smell of alcohol would not reach her, but looked at her from a chair a little further away.
As I quietly watch her sleeping, a strange feeling fades away.
It fades and fades again and disappears from my mind.
Where it disappears, she permeates.
It permeates thickly and warmly.
A small smile broke out as the warm and happy permeated him so far that he felt like an idiot.
Read at noblemtl.com
Laughter escaped me, and I looked at her to see if she had woken up.
Fortunately, she didn’t wake up.
He stroked her hair, still sleeping soundly.
Perhaps for nothing, she tossed and turned for a moment.
Her hand, which had been tossing and turning, grabbed my arm.
Her warmth runs down my arms and permeates me.
Her hands grew a little stronger, and a hazy voice came out of her mouth.
“I won’t miss it…”
Her voice sinks into me as I fall into a deep sleep.
The words from her dreams permeate, and she becomes warmer and clearer in me.
Feeling it, I answered the dreaming woman.
“I will be by your side for the rest of my life. So don’t worry.”
My small fleeting words dissipated, and a smile crept across her face.
Did my words even reach her dreams? If so, I hope that my words will make her dream warmer.
Thinking of such a foolish thought, he kissed her on the cheek.
I left a faint mark on her cheek and slowly disappeared.
As I looked at it, I filled her more vividly within me.
By the time my insides are filled to burst. With the chirping of birds announcing the end of the night, the twilight of dawn came.
Read at noblemtl.com
Looking at the blue light that signaled a new day, I kissed her on the cheek again.
I also left a faint trace of me on her cheek.
It was slowly disappearing again, and when it was all gone, her eyes slipped open.
Her hazy eyes look at me.
Her gaze met mine, and I smiled.
“Good morning.”
“Good… morning.”
A dream-soaked, hazy voice flowed from her mouth, still unable to get out of sleep.
it is lovely
I kissed her on the forehead.
On her face, which was thick with dreams, the dream faded a little and a smile slowly bloomed.
She smiled like the morning dew and kissed my cheek.
After our morning greetings and the beginning of the day, a dreamy voice flowed from her mouth.
“Since when have you been watching?”
“Not long ago.”
“is it…”
She said and stretched. Then my arm, which had been held still, went up along with it.
She must have sensed it, so she let go of my arm with a surprised expression on her face.
Her warmth left a red trail.
“Have I been holding on?”
“It’s not like that. Not too long ago.”
Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as if she had noticed that she had lied again.
“Did you not sleep because I was holding you?”
Words different from what I thought came out of her mouth, and a shallow laugh escaped.
“Not like that. I just woke up a little early because my dreams were a bit wild.”
“Right. But why did you dream that you were looking at me without sleeping anymore?”
“Well, I don’t remember now.”
He lied to her again. I still remember the dream clearly.
But the pain of that dream is okay because she erased it.
“More than that, what did Iris dream about? You muttered, ‘I won’t miss you’ as you grabbed me earlier.”
“Well, I don’t remember either.”
she said and smiled.
Seeing her like that, I smiled too.
After that, our breath and warmth intertwined for a while, as usual in the morning.
Thus, the happy day that I had been dreaming of began again.