I’m Not a Hero Like You chapter 20

7. Fool’s Sword.(2)

The maid, Sylphia, who was anxiously pacing in front of the door, was restless.

‘Are you awake? Oh, or today… .’

How long had it been since he hesitated with just one knock?

As much as possible, I want to not go against Kariel’s planting.

You’re already having a hard time and being sensitive, but if you’re having a hard time because of yourself… .

It’s only for one day, but it’s not such a good sign to completely stop eating and drinking during the growing season.

Kariel ate very little, and most of the time she couldn’t sleep well at night.

At least, I was hoping it would get a little better lately… .

‘Since you missed school one day, you’re sure to hear me nagging because of that… .’

However, this time, it was difficult for Ermina and Kariel to face each other.

As if to prove that, didn’t even Ermina head to church with her swollen belly hugged?

It’s always a thing, but today it was quite early.

It was exactly yesterday, early morning.

She heard some, if not all, of what Rueld was saying to Kariel outside the door, which made Sylphia even more worried.

Obviously Rueld-sama said to apologize to his wife, but not doing so… Because there was plenty of room to think that I was rebellious or stubborn.

‘You don’t even know your heart… .’

Even when it’s at a party or when the older sister and the youngster fight out of nowhere… At first, I thought it was part of training or sparring.

However, the conversation they were having was unusual, and even Sylphia could clearly see that her emotions were too intense for training.

So I quickly reported the fact to Ermina and his wife.

She assumed that Patina might have thoughts, and at first seemed to be trying to get over it.

Then at some point

His complexion turned pale, and he hurriedly left the room.

What I witnessed while following was quite a shocking sight.

If by any chance your wife was absent… .

The master’s hands and arms… .

‘Why did he go so far?’

When I think of the scene at that time, I get dizzy and close my eyes tightly.

“ha.”

What should I do.

No matter how much I think and think about it.

No sharp solution came to mind at all.

Although the feeling of helplessness made me feel depressed.

‘no.’

What if I get depressed too!

At least to always smile at him.

I don’t think I can be of any help!

It was a car that I had been clearing my mind and capturing my expression for a while.

I was shocked, and when the door opened, I instantly gasped! Sylphia swallowed a groan.

“Why are you doing that there?”

“Uh, that… .”

Sylphia’s hair went white for a moment at the sudden incident, but she was determined again.

“Bae, aren’t you hungry? Didn’t you starve all day?”

“… … day?”

Kariel tilted her head.

“day. I mean a day.”

“Uh, something… Anything wrong?”

“No, nothing.”

by the way.

“Looking at the time zone, it seems to be early in the morning, right?”

“Yes. Right.”

“… I will hear you.”

Are you talking about skipping the academy?

Or did you disobey Rueld’s words?

Still, something was strange.

“young master?”

“why?”

“I think you’ve changed a little bit.”

“… how?”

“Well, I’m not sure what to say… .”

After a long time, I squeezed out the unfortunate vocabulary and came to the conclusion.

“I think you’ve become a bit more mature.”

“It can’t happen overnight, can it?”

“That, right? haha… I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

… … ?

It’s strange.

I can’t pinpoint what to say.

… You seem to be more mature than before, is it because of your mood?

—-

-Do you think this is real air for the first time in years?

“… … .”

If there is an awareness that it is a dream between one night.

As if I had fallen into it endlessly, if I closed my eyes, the penance that seemed like eternity naturally came to mind day by day.

It doesn’t come to mind through imagination, through painting, or through the visual dimension, but rather it tickles my body.

“It’s more unnatural that I didn’t hold anything in my hand.”

– The words have become too rigid. Would you like to grease your tongue?

… is it?

-As time goes by, resentment and anger tend to subside. How about that?

“I didn’t think of anything else until I started talking.”

By the way.

“Now that I can see them, I am thinking about it all over again.

When the prince’s gang appears, the feet stop automatically, and the body, including the shoulders, stiffens.

I don’t know what the consciousness is, but the vigilance engraved in the body works reflexively.

“Does it feel good to be lazy? You must have become your sister’s fiancée, so you can’t see anything anymore?”

“… … .”

red eyes.

Even though it was a decent appearance, and it was a look that would be liked by the first impression itself.

For some reason, the more I look at it, the more disgusting it becomes.

If there is a mortal enemy who cannot live with the same sky, what would it be like?

In a way, it’s a relationship where you don’t need to hold a grudge on either side or this side.

‘It’s pitiful.’

That child is also pathetic.

Kariel herself, who was lethargic and in pain because of that bastard’s behavior, was also pathetic.

“ha.”

“… … ?”

The prince in front of you.

The faces of the guys around him also rotted.

only.

I only took one breath.

And as expected, the prince raised his face as if he were grabbing his collar with his eyes wide open.

his two burning eyes.

Add that fierce expression, and just look at the momentum, I’ll burn a person to death.

“You don’t know how good you are, are you always like that?”

“… … .”

If Seras had been here, would he have listened to dissuade this situation?

I remember having little expectations like that in the past.

At that time, I took it for granted.

… If you hold on and hold on, you think it will end eventually, and you have endured all along.

That’s why I hated facing reality, it was uncomfortable, and I hated it.

Why did I wait for the sun to set and the moon to rise?

… Maybe it was because at least for that moment the freedom to take a breath was guaranteed.

Well, thanks to my mother who gave me instructions to keep me awake at night, there were a lot of difficulties.

At least I was less tired than when the sun was up, and it was less painful.

so even more

Even during the moonlight hours.

Maybe he hoped to stay awake as long as possible.

A weak idea.

Really, it’s sad and pitiful.

But that was my past, la.

At some point, I will get rid of this pitiful and shameful stigma.

Can I be free at all?

“You should do that, Your Highness.”

“What… Called? you now me… .”

“majesty.”

another guy

Thanks to the guy who glanced at the surroundings, the prince snorted briefly.

“Let’s have a little more in-depth conversation later in a place where people are rare. I mean the conversation Conversation.”

I dare to poke this chest with my index finger.

if it was in the past

I must have been swept away by the desire and desire to cut off that finger.

Even so, I was frustrated that I couldn’t do that, and I gave up in despair.

Even in delusion, he couldn’t even allow himself to take revenge on him, considering it childish and distasteful.

… Is it your own intolerance or stubbornness.

I don’t like it in many ways.

if.

What about now?

“Do whatever you feel comfortable with.”

Certainly, as she said, even though I’m in a dream, I seem to have rotted there for a while.

As before, without being caught up in absurdity and losing one’s reason, without forcibly suppressing it and rotting or ruining oneself.

Because now I’m a little calmer than before.

With just that little bit, I feel peace in mind and body.

… How much had I not been able to afford?

“… … .”

After seeing the back of the prince widening his eyes, I also walked toward the school gate.

If you think about it.

… Do you remember the old past when you went to school early so that even the moment you went to school was not noticed by them, or if you were late, you deliberately went to school just barely?

I feel the cruelty of that ugliness all over again.

Disappointment in oneself would be a useless emotion in any mate now.

“I’ll wait. His conversation.”

how well it will be done.

—-

“Kariel. Are you going to just sit and watch this time?”

“… … .”

Kariel blankly looked up at the swordsmanship instructor.

Despite his heavy gaze, I don’t even feel any emotion, let alone shrink.

What is the difference from before?

… Not for any particular reason.

Have you ever seen rocks and trees get angry and react ferociously to being teased by humans?

The heart decision within me had already formed myself by itself, even without me repeating it or whispering it.

so that.

“I have decided to put down the Imperial sword.”

“What?”

I wonder if I was able to say this confidently, unlike before.

“I plan to polish something else instead, is that okay?”

“… Didn’t Lord Rueld teach you a different kind of swordsmanship?”

Even though the words were like that, the expression on the face was blatantly felt.

“It can’t be.”

Doesn’t it make sense?

When I returned the sneer with such a nuance, his complexion was distorted.

“Are you trying to play with me now?”

“… … .”

It didn’t matter if I kept dying.

Somehow, even this bothered me.

If it had been before, I would have screamed at the end at the point of spitting out once.

… Especially since I couldn’t get it out once.

“Don’t give me the perks of paying attention, and give your other classmates equal time.”

“You call that an excuse?”

“Do you see me making excuses?”

something different

Not only the teacher, but also the students who were watching this situation with interest, were all puzzled by his shameless attitude.

“Teacher! You look so confident, how about sparring on the map right away?!”

“Looks like he learned a new swordsmanship and thinks the world belongs to him.”

“Abandon the Imperial Sword? Maybe I misunderstood that it was abandoned by the imperial sword?”

Laughter.

Laugh.

ridicule.

Not all of them were like that, but even if it wasn’t necessarily where the prince was, the prince’s hand extended everywhere.

However.

So what?

“… … .”

even.

Not even Her Highness, the noble princess, was present at this place.

That’s probably why these bastards can be rude.

Unlike me, even if you legally left the academy, you worked hard, worked hard, worried, got things back…

‘No, that’s the wrong kind of anger.’

There’s no need to blame Elhermina.

The reason for blaming is, why did you act the same, but the other side is favored and protected?

Why was I being reprimanded and looked down on, and why did I have to be looked down upon as if I were to be seen every time?

In hindsight, there is a difference.

and.

There was no obligation to find a reason to bet on the princess as the target of comparison.

‘Don’t mistake the comparison target.’

To put it bluntly, it is difficult to misunderstand the target of expressing resentment or hostility.

There is a separate target for sowing malice.

Don’t mistake your opponent.

Don’t be swayed by your emotions and consume them in a distant place.

Boiling emotions is a waste of energy in the end.

Even if you pour that mental strength into training, it won’t be enough.

“If you do, do this.”

Kariel glanced around indifferently.

“Would you like to teach me a lesson yourself?”

As always heartbreaking.

As if showing off, as if boasting, as if struggling to stand out.

As a tool to relieve that pitiful inferiority complex, resentment, and emotions.

Just like it always has been.

“You have to do what the prince wants.”

“… … .”

Pretend you don’t know everything

However, at the point of discussing this openly, the situation reaches an irreversible stage.

so what to do

It’s not on my side that I’m in trouble anyway.

If I’m wrong, I’m dead.

Kill today, kill tomorrow.

“Are you going to do it or not?”

From a certain point on, I couldn’t feel the fear of meaningless things.

However, being bound by the habitual treatment he had been subjected to all along, he continued to be misunderstood.

Should I be afraid because I am helpless and weak?

That’s not it.

my fear in the end.

A nightmare I created.

It is not someone else’s.

… … this.

I feel a bit resentful for realizing it too late… .

… … .

No, not corrected.

a lot… It was unfair.

a lot.

a lot.