59 – 20. Could it be real?
“I never said perfect! At least though! Just enough to not listen to what others say! Take care of your conduct, I told you so!”
I didn’t mean to say that.
From a certain moment, just looking at Kariel’s face made me say things like this.
Even though I know I shouldn’t be like this even after I said it.
For some reason, there are words that are said in hopes of saying good things about regret and sadness.
For some reason, everything comes out like irritation.
Even right after he said it, even though he knew he shouldn’t be like this.
… I was afraid that if I behaved awkwardly here, the child would become distorted.
Oyaoya More than I decided not to raise.
… She, Ermina, had to suppress her bitterness inside.
I hate to say that, dear.
But… Shouldn’t I raise you right?
Oops, me too… I’m not comfortable.
Why don’t you know that?
If you do, you can do everything.
Why don’t you listen?
Why do I just try to listen to everything, ignore it, and turn away?
“Please stop.”
“What?”
But today was different.
It was the same when he lowered his gaze, but he looked different from the way he tried to recklessly endure it like before.
A low-pitched tone, a blazing voice as if resentful.
The distorted eyes and eyes reflected through the raised head.
At that hostile attitude, Ermina, momentarily at a loss for words, asked again.
“What… Did you? Me now….”
“Please do it in moderation! How long are you going to listen to that nagging? I’m working hard too! I mean you’re doing your best! Have you ever tried to get to know me properly? If something goes wrong, it’s my fault! Others have never done anything wrong! Am I the only one who is wrong?!”
“You, you now….”
“Have you ever experienced what a warrior’s child is?! Compare with you no matter what! If you do anything, say that you are worse than you, slander, ridicule, and criticize! But nagging you until you get home! Listen to the resentment! Dad goes out and takes care of others! If you hear that you are coming at best, be good to you! It’s up to you! It’s because I’m weak! Make an effort! Effort! That effort! Do you think I didn’t?! What am I yours?! Are you a tool? He wouldn’t even manage the sword he uses! If your clothes get dirty, wash and dry them! If a sword is damaged, it can even be repaired! I’m just a sword! Just one tool! Not even clothes! Is that a story?!”
“Ka, Carl? You… why… suddenly….”
“How long are you going to put up with it? Doesn’t the tool also take care of the minimum? Am I not good enough for the trees and plants in the yard over there? Why! One compliment didn’t want to do that? Did you have a hard time? Outgoing, like a saint, she did all kinds of kindness and everything! On the outside, while pretending to be in trouble and being generous! Why do you only come home! I couldn’t kill myself, so I couldn’t wait! Are you tired of not being able to handle the garbage? Where do you try to answer! Mother!”
Even after that, Kariel, as if she had exploded for a long time, poured out her accumulated dissatisfaction.
It’s as if he doesn’t think or consider the future.
“Anyway, then I can just leave the house! Whatever you do, I will change your name!”
“You, you! You! How could you do this to me-!”
“Shut up!”
Ermina, who was shocked by the verbal abuse, was unable to continue her words for a while.
That’s it.
Is it because the heightened emotions have subsided to some extent?
Kariel took her breath away.
And then, towards Ermina, who was speechless and her chin was blocked.
He delivered the final sentence.
“Thank you so much, Miss Ermina. As of today, I will leave the Brendiar family, and I will change my first and last name. Fortunately, I have achievements in the past, and I also have the title of Baron Lutia, so I will live well with it.”
Sure.
“Now, don’t look at my face again and buy it. Thanks to me, you seem to have had a lot of emotional exhaustion, but I will relieve you of that worry.”
With that said, Kariel turned her back and was about to leave the living room without even taking a basic courtesy.
Ermina held onto it.
“… What are you doing?”
“Why… Are you saying that? I just… I wanted you to become a person who is not ashamed of anyone. I just….”
“Are you still trying to make excuses?”
There, Ermina tightly closed her eyes.
Water was leaking from her blackened eyes before she knew it.
“Right. Your words… That’s all right. Sorry. It’s all my fault Because if we show loopholes, it will hurt you. And if you show any flaws, they will try to disparage you just as we do. I didn’t want to become their prey. However… That’s what I mean by worry… You have become criticized and criticized before you know it. Nagging for you… That wasn’t my intention….”
“… ….”
Kariel only looked at Ermina with her cold eyes.
“I’m sorry. Don’t do this to you again I was all wrong. So, he’s not my son… When she said she was leaving the house… Please don’t do it Such a sad word… Now don’t even compliment me. Encouragement, no matter what others say, I will stand by your side more than anyone else and protect you….”
So please, please….
“Don’t leave me. As far as saying you’re leaving us… Please don’t.”
“… ….”
Nevertheless.
It seemed to shake a little, but Kariel quickly shook her hand.
“A knife?!”
“… Whether that’s really the case, time will tell. It’s already been confirmed that I’m leaving here. I will come out with the system so that it does not become a nuisance, so please dispel rumors on your own.”
“Karl! Hey, are you?!”
“When I asked you to trust me the other day, did you guys trust me?”
I am.
“I had to bear the sins I did not commit because of you, and even lower my head because of the sins I did not do. And when they lashed out at me, when they finally found out that it was all a misunderstanding and a malicious false accusation, what did you guys say?”
“… ….”
“Since everyone apologized, should I take it boldly? When did you apologize? Is that a sincere apology, just formally looking at your face at a banquet hall and burying it? You did it for you, didn’t you do it for me? Didn’t you just bury it like that because you noticed and not to give any excuse?”
“Knife….”
“I’ve been good since then, but I’m not very good at it, so I’m determined now.”
Cut the front.
“Don’t call me Carl. I’m going to change my name, so please go ahead and call me properly. If the delivery has not been made, please call me Baron Lutia.”
“Karl! Properly speak this mother!”
“You are the one who listens to me! It’s Baron Lutia! Say how many times!”
The evil Kariel.
After that, he breathed heavily as if suppressing his emotions for a while.
I left the place in a hurry.
“… ….”
She sat down as if collapsing in her place, she didn’t think about anything for a while, she just sat there.
… ….
……….
A secluded cabin in a remote mountain, neither a city nor a village.
Ermina was able to find Kariel again after her search.
Despite her cold treatment, she showed her face until the end in Kariel’s cabin.
“Meals… Are you doing it?”
The door did not open.
“Hey, I was wondering if I could do some cleaning.”
The door did not open this time either.
“Well, I brought some food and a few things because the house looks empty.”
Likewise, the door did not open.
She set her luggage down at the door, begging her to keep it, but it would be fine after she was gone.
The next day, they were still there.
She prayed constantly, thought constantly.
Rueld said he would join, but Ermina resolutely refused.
This was, after all, her own fault.
It was the punishment she accumulated.
Even if I didn’t want that kind of result, in the end, that kind of fruit came out.
So, this was the only punishment she had to pay.
How long has it been?
One week two weeks.
“I’m sorry. Mother… How did you not know about the one and only you? I really… I’m so sorry. I’m really, really sorry….”
The door is open.
“… ….”
Looks more devastated than before.
From Kariel’s point of view, as well as from Ermina’s point of view.
The condition of the two was quite serious, and there was a sense of separation from before.
“…… Come in.”
Would it be that hard to get that one word of permission?
Looking down at herself as if on her knees, she couldn’t bear to extend her hand.
Watching Kariel look at herself with her quivering eyes.
“… ….”
Ermina thanked God inwardly, and at the same time she repeatedly thanked Kariel for allowing it.
She couldn’t bear to get the words out of her mouth.
That’s why only tears flow out.
It was cramped inside, but it was enough space for a person to live.
It was embarrassing to even call it tea, but she held onto the wooden cup with difficulty, as if she was deeply moved by the warmth.
“I will never treat you badly again. I won’t nag, criticize or gossip….”
“You are very good at misunderstanding when someone hears it.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“Did I tell you not to point out what I did wrong? Don’t blame mistakes, I never said a single word. Still, don’t you know what’s wrong?”
“Oh no! I understand. Because I was constantly thinking! All just… The words… What to say… Well… I can’t remember….”
“He who speaks so skillfully, why did he become like this?”
Kariel had a really complicated expression.
“I’m sorry… I will respect you from now on. Yes, this is the most… It was necessary.”
From noble mtl dot com
“… ….”
This is not to say that it is a mistake and not to pinpoint and reprimand mistakes.
Nagging? You can do it
Can you hear what I want? Has Kariel herself ever acted like that?
“I am also a human being. Even the plants will wither if they are not watered and exposed to the sun… How long did you think I could last?”
“…… I’m sorry.”
“… ….”
The two stayed that way for a while, without speaking.
It was a long, long time, but even so, Ermina felt that this moment was really precious.
… ….
……… ….
It’s been half a year since I left the academy without permission.
Of course, Kariel was put in a position where she would have to spend another school year, let alone her graduation.
As a result, her rank in the whole school fell even further than before.
“… Sorry.”
“No. It must have been difficult to adapt… I know you are working hard.”
Compared to before, Ermina’s attitude had changed beyond recognition.
“Recently, you’ve been studying all night long. Eating less. It’s a growing period, so shouldn’t it be?”
“… ….”
“Tell me if you are having a hard time. Also, if you really don’t like it, you don’t have to go to the academy.”
Kariel stared up at Ermina.
And then.
As if the heavy burden she had been carrying before had finally been lifted.
With a more relaxed face, he said.
“Thank you.”
“No. Of course it should have been.”
Putting a hand on his shoulder, Ermina calmly smiled.
Yes.
Originally, it should have been like this.
…… It should have been.
Tears flowed.
—-
“b*tch. Did you have a very nice dream?”
“… ….”
When she opened her eyes, Ermina saw a space that was too familiar to her.
Then, as if looking down at herself, she sat down with her buttocks on the chair she brought to the side of her bed.
A young elf with long silver hair.
Those two eyes that were imbued with greenery were tinged with a complex light.
“Geornia… sir.”
“It was really hard to see your husband’s face. Since you’re right after giving birth, it’s during postpartum care… I thought I’d come back after I’ve calmed down as much as possible.”
Because I’m angry inside.
She asked with her wry smile.
“So, what was your dream?”
“… ….”
Ermina, she couldn’t say anything.
Let’s try to remember that.
Because only tears poured out endlessly.
I don’t remember exactly.
Obviously, she went to the end and she stood shoulder to shoulder with the child… ….
I don’t know yet.
Because everyone was worried about her and kept silent.
So, to what extent the situation was entangled. That she was broken
Ermina, she didn’t know yet.
Nevertheless, I had a hunch.
Maybe.
The scene I saw in my dream.
She said that she was no longer allowed to see such a dream-like sight.
Maybe she realized it subconsciously.
Maybe it was.
Tears may flow non-stop.