120 – 53. Mother (1)
I could only watch Letitia silently shedding tears.
I never imagined that she would offer comfort and concern. The secret hidden within the Ashley family was so shocking that it froze Ian.
“To have your lifespan shortened when you give birth. Such an absurd curse.”
Normally, he would brush it off as a lie. But now, he couldn’t take it lightly.
In reality, Letitia fell ill with an unknown disease. Even the high-ranking priests of Edenria couldn’t cure her.
If her lifespan had been drastically reduced, it would be natural that they couldn’t find a cure.
Even if she recovered with the blessing of the goddess, they couldn’t extend the lifespan granted by the gods.
“If such a curse existed, have you ever thought about finding a cure? Or is there a way now?”
“… No, there is no need for that.”
She held Ian’s hand tightly and shook her head.
The meaning of her words was not that she would refuse treatment. She had already tried every possible way. It could be concluded that there was no viable solution.
Certainly, the Ashley family, being nobles, must have tried to lift the curse.
They must have tried every possible means.
“Mylarus, who is famous for curse magic. Maybe even resorting to forbidden magic, even reaching out to Edenria.”
If Letitia was lying in bed despite all that, there was only one reason.
The Ashley family had not found a way to lift the curse that had befallen them.
If they couldn’t find a solution soon, Letitia might close her eyes forever.
“I don’t think it will have a great effect. But it’s better to try regeneration for now, even if it’s a small gain.”
It wouldn’t be easy to expect a significant effect from using regeneration when it wasn’t just an injury or illness, but a reduction in lifespan.
Still, they couldn’t just stand by and watch.
First of all, it might be better to try something.
‘Waking up Nathalion, who is still asleep, is a bit awkward, but…’
It’s inevitable to borrow the power of her authority. I should either speed up the regeneration quickly and put him to sleep again.
While thinking like that, it was the moment when Ian tried to call Nathalion within his body.
Swoosh!
“Hmm? Do you have something to say?”
The sudden moment when Letitia started stroking his hand and their eyes met.
She didn’t respond to Ian’s words.
Just lightly lowered her head and firmly held the touching hands.
However, Ian could immediately understand what his mother wanted to say.
“Getting treatment… wouldn’t it be better?”
“It’s okay. I’ve already accepted the end of my fate.”
“But if you let go like this, it will become uncontrollable.”
Death. When it comes, everything ends.
Seeing the face of Killian, who had hoped to be together since the academy days and had formed a bond of marriage.
Also, seeing the face of the fruit of love they had between them.
Above all, the opportunity to regret and apologize for the actions that persecuted their son in his early years would also come to an end.
“Death will come.”
Honestly, it was scary. Who would want to die?
If life is bleak and difficult, one might think so. But now, after losing the shaman and everything has calmed down, the world she will live in from now on promises a peaceful life without any twists.
In a world where everyone dreams, she found herself alone. Where could there be anything more frightening than this?
Yet, for Letitia, it had been a long realization that the future was something she couldn’t enjoy.
“Before you came, I had many conversations with your husband. From our childhood. Until the days at the academy.”
“…”
“And as time passed, the topic of our conversations shifted to when you were born. Kilian said something quietly. He couldn’t say it out loud. But he felt like the gods were playing with him.”
“The gods… playing with him.”
Ian’s face twisted uncontrollably at her words.
The emotion Kilian felt was not just a simple sentiment.
‘In a way, it’s true that the gods played with him. Ian Volkanov shouldn’t have existed in this world.’
It wasn’t a direct command to hate Ian from the goddess herself.
But Gaia considered the one who should have died and came back to life as a strange and impure being.
Feeling that discomfort was the same for those living inside Gaia.
Kilian realized it, and Letitia didn’t. The reason was probably his intuition that rose dramatically when he took the position of Mana Master.
Facing her son, who had solidified in an endlessly firm manner, Letitia forced a reassuring smile, wondering if she had needlessly worried him.
“I’m fine. Death doesn’t bother me at all.”
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“Frightened. How can I not be scared?”
But there was something even scarier than that.
“However, there was a time when I thought this. Instead of living forever without seeing the consequences of doing something unforgivable as a parent. Wouldn’t it be better to die once and feel relieved at the end?”
Without uttering an apology, closing her eyes.
Letitia thanked the gods for the dreadful event not happening and looked into Ian’s eyes.
“Ian, I won’t apologize or ask for forgiveness. What I did is unforgivable.”
Tears flowed from her swollen eyes without a chance to wipe them away. She continued speaking.
“I’m sorry for everything. For locking you in the room because I couldn’t stand seeing you cry, for pretending the storage room was your room, for all the favoritism towards Ariel. For not saying a word of love to my son as a mother.”
When death approaches, people tend to reflect on their lives. Letitia, too, examined her past during moments of solitude.
Her cold treatment towards her son, who asked for praise for getting a perfect score.
Her silence against the gods who ignored her son’s pain and even joined them instead of reprimanding.
She was aware of her son suffering from conflicting emotions but turned a blind eye and deaf ear.
There were surely other wrongs as well.
Not helping her son with extraordinary talent to flourish but trampling on it.
Scolding him for not eating seafood without knowing he couldn’t eat them until he became an adult.
And finally,
“I couldn’t say ‘I love you’ properly. I’m truly sorry.”
“…”
“I know it’s inappropriate and I’m not fit to be a mother, but still, I wanted to say this at least once.”
She poured out almost all the emotions in her heart.
Now, there was only one thing left.
“I have one last request, Ian. Can you grant it?”
“What request is it?”
“I know I’m not worthy. But if you could just call me ‘Mother’ one more time, would you?”
With just that one sentence, Leticia had the confidence to peacefully close her eyes, overcoming the fear of death.
It was her dying mother’s final request.
There was only one answer that Ian could give to that.
“Well… it seems difficult.”
“Yeah…”
“I remember reading something like this in an old book. It said that when a person dies… based on the sins they committed in their lifetime, they go to either heaven or hell.”
“…”
“Those who go to hell receive punishment for the sins they committed. And if they endure all the punishment, they can live a new life as a human again.”
“Ian… what you’re saying.”
Ian, bowing his head deeply, continued the conversation silently despite Leticia’s question.
“At that time… so if there’s a chance to clear all sins and start a new life. Then, please be good to your children. In that case, I might be able to forgive.”
With tears on the verge of bursting, Ian abruptly stood up without continuing the conversation.
Leticia, unable to close her mouth as if struck dumb by her son’s words, silently watched Ian heading towards the door.
Now, he will leave. If he steps out of that door, seeing Ian in this life will probably be the last.
At least, that’s how Leticia felt, and it was a moment when she desperately wished not to miss even a single second of her son’s final moments.
“Oh. There’s one more thing I haven’t mentioned.”
“What…”
“The bond of family is said to be stronger than anything in this world, not easily severed. Even death can’t cut them apart. Perhaps that’s why those who become family once are likely to become family again in the next life. There’s also a saying that when children die, the parents who passed away first come to welcome them. I really like this story.”
“….Son.”
“I will… eagerly await that day. Please close your eyes and rest.”
Leticia knew the meaning behind Ian’s words without a doubt.
She nodded silently with a faint smile.
“Thank you for being born as my son.”
Without looking back, Ian began to leave the room.
From Noble mtl dot com
Leticia bid him a relieved farewell.
“I… am also waiting for that moment.”
At that moment, death could not frighten her.
I kinda can understand Ian not forgiving his mother. Even knowing that she was also a victim of the goddess plan to save the world, all the pain and sorrow Ian suffered his entire life was still a real thing, and that is something no one would be able to easily forget. Because of that, it’s understandable he not being able to mend his relationship with his mother, BUT, considering she is dying, considering how obvious her regret is because of the guilty she is feeling, Ian could at least try to alleviate her guilty, telling her that all that happened was her fault. Knowing she was also a victim of the circumstances, letting her die carrying all that guilty was way too cruel, and Ian never showed himself as someone cruel as that.
*Wasn’t her fault.
Damn I don’t know bro.. but that’s extremely cold to me, I mean you could’ve just fulfilled her final request even if you don’t really mean it. A little White lie wouldn’t hurt.
She didn’t deserve it
Yeah I mean… She didn’t even apologize to the real Ian. So why should MC fulfill that wish? What he said instead was actually pretty cool though. That she should wait to welcome Ian in her next life. At least that’s how I interpreted it.
uuhhh, there’s not such a thing as real Ian. It’s only him since the beginning. If you said real Ian, then it will refer to the dead baby in womb before Lee Hyun-wook soul being put into that baby
In a sense, there is indeed a real Ian, the original one, cuz the Ian from the present, the who’s soul transmigrated from Korea, who defeated Lucifer, isnt the same Ian from the past, who was born from Leticia and regressed a thousand times. When his soul couldnt endure the burden of the countless regression and faded away, the goddess brought Hyunwoo souls to take its place, so, a different person.