206 – The Sincerity of Arwin (3)
In the dead of night, a knocking noise woke me up.
-Thud, thud, thud, thud.
Oddly enough, the sound wasn’t unfamiliar.
The sudden situation didn’t surprise me.
Perhaps because I was always on edge.
Although the situation was tiring…I could somehow respond.
I opened my eyes, sitting next to Ner.
I hadn’t gone to bed with her tonight.
Ner wanted me to, but her body was burning with fever.
As she got healthier, her body seemed to be fighting.
She still needed peace and quiet.
So I just held her hand instead.
Until she gains back her strength, it felt like this situation would continue.
I sighed and got up.
“…Sigh.”
I wondered what had happened this time.
This position still wasn’t right for me.
I didn’t want to live in such tension every moment.
But of course, for now, I had no choice but to perform the task at hand.
Ner lay oblivious to the commotion, her eyes closed, the fever unbated.
She was breathing slightly heavily, in and out, in repetition.
I studied her pallor closely, pressed my lips to her forehead, and rose from my seat.
As I left the room, Arwin was watching me from the darkness.
He observed me awkwardly departing Neru’s room.
“…”
I had already told Arwin to leave these grounds.
Stuckpin was currently waiting for an impending threat.
There was no reason for her, who valued her life more than anything, to be here.
She didn’t even truly love me anymore.
I stared at Arwin in the same way.
She had yet to inform me of any decision she’d made.
The atmosphere was palpably awkward.
Nonetheless, I brushed past her and opened the front door of the house.
Baran was standing there.
“…Baran. What happened.”
“Your honor.”
As always, Baran delivered difficult news in the middle of the night.
Despite being in a tough spot, I always appreciated him.
I felt bad, as if I was constantly asking him for unpleasant favors.
“…Refugees have entered the village. They are lizardmen from the Sasarin family’s domain.”
“…”
I quickly understood the current state of events.
The Sasarin family’s domain was a territory one must pass through unconditionally before arriving at Stuckpin.
Hence, I easily deduced that the residents who had taken refuge here were avoiding Krund.
“…They’re asking for help.”
“…”
Selfishly, I thought about the state of our village first.
Even though they must have been desperate when they asked for our help… we were not exactly in an abundant situation.
I asked Baran.
“…how many.”
“Approximately fifty.”
“…Sigh.”
I stood frozen, exhaling a weary sigh.
What should I do with them?
If they were a band of thieves, it would be easier to drive them away.
However, it was not so easy to dismiss the refugees.
“…Bergh.”
Then, from behind, Arwin grabbed my arm.
Looking at her, Arwin spoke to me with a troubled expression.
“…We were short of hands anyway, weren’t we?”
“…?”
“…Wouldn’t it be better to bring in the refugees… and supplement our labor force for a while?”
Indeed, as she said, we were still short of hands.
There were many sick people, and thieves lurked around.
Weed-pulling was a daily task.
“…Also, regarding our reputation…”
“…”
Perhaps it would be better to take in the refugees than not.
As Arwin mentioned, we also needed to pay attention to our reputation.
She seemed to be aware that one of my main concerns was the will of my elder brother, Adam.
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“…”
As the Leiker family came to represent the human race, we must behave more properly.
I didn’t have to think long.
There was nothing that would change by thinking about it for a long time.
In the end, I nodded and said to Baron.
“…Let them in.”
“…Yes.”
“Baron, there’s no other place for the refugees to rest.”
We already used much of the space in the village for treating patients.
Baron nodded in reply.
“I understand. They simply hoped to be allowed into the village.”
I nodded my head and asked,
“…Do you have children too?”
I always used to think about children often, but ever since my child, Cien, was born, I’ve become more attentive.
Baran affirmed my words,
“They are there.”
Then I told him,
“….If the kids are hungry, give them some food.”
“Of course, Captain.”
After commanding Baran, I briefly nodded my head and left him.
Baran also bowed his head and left.
I turned around after closing the gate.
Arwen was still standing there.
“…It was a good choice.”
She said.
I, too, could only hope that her words were right.
****
The next day, I received a letter from the royal family.
Feeling something was rapidly changing, from last night’s refugees to this morning’s letter.
Arwen, surprised by the news of receiving a letter from the royal family, was with me too.
It seemed she thought the king was about to require something of me.
But, surprisingly, the letter from the king was more pleasant.
A recommendation, not a command.
Moreover, it was for our benefit,
“The Firebrand must retreat to the capital for safety.”
Not the Riker family, but ‘Firebrand.’
The fact that he wanted us to use our power was clear from the terminology referring to us.
Just as the rumors said, he was preparing an army.
Arwen sighed in relief at the fact that it wasn’t a message to go out and fight with Krund.
“…Thank God for that.”
Gale also agreed with the story.
“The king certainly isn’t without thought, surely. It’s more likely to win fighting together, than fighting alone.”
They both seemed to positively consider the King’s offer with a sigh of relief.
Only I still couldn’t make a decision.
“…”
Whether it was Gale who offered it, or the King, the outcome would not change.
We still had many critically ill patients, and we didn’t have the means to transport them.
If we leave, next year will also be worrisome. We might have to abandon our buried comrades.
Is this the right thing to do?
I still couldn’t arrive at a decision.
Arwen, unaware of my thoughts, spoke.
“…Berg. It seems to be the better choice.”
“…”
I couldn’t respond to her.
I found myself gripping the letter for a long time.
“…Berg?”
But she seemed surprised by my indecision.
As if I had not chosen the obvious option.
-Awkward.
Arwen grabbed my arm.
As if urging, blinking her eyes, she suggested to me.
“…Berg. You’ve got to run away. You’ve said how Splinter was dangerous … we have to leave.”
“…”
“…Let’s leave together. Let’s go to the capital… ask for strength to defeat Krund. We’ll also take the refugees. The king is suggesting it, right?…”
“…”
As I stayed silent, Gale whispered to me.
“Berg. Still haven’t… made a decision?”
Arwen, surprised, asked at that comment.
“…What?”
“…”
“So…you’re saying there are other options?”
I closed my eyes and put down the letter.
And then I sighed and moved m feet.
The more the pressure intensified, the more time I needed.
Could it have been such a simple choice?
Why couldn’t I choose escape as easily as saying it?
If I ran, I might be able to save my life.
But would that be all?
Would life simply go on if I survived?
Do I abandon our comrades, buried in this land, and leave our homeland behind?
Was I odd, or was our race different in thinking?
However, one thing is certain, the option of running away felt like the wrong choice.
****
Arwin had been following Berg from a distance.
Keeping a certain distance, he looked at Berg, who was sighing and walking.
He already knew Berg was struggling.
But the more Berg struggled, the more nervous Arwin felt.
What was he pondering so deeply about?
If they remained here, they would only meet their deaths.
That was a very certain fact.
No one was prepared for war at the moment.
No one expected Crund to appear so suddenly and disrupt everything.
While Crund may not have the power to overthrow the entire kingdom, he could certainly inflict a fatal wound on certain territories.
And their village, Stockpin, was a target for Crund.
Of course, Arwin knew.
He knew how hard it would be for Berg to leave this land.
How painful it would be to make that choice.
Yet, everything was better than losing their lives.
Berg moved his feet and found his way to the grave of Commander Adam.
It was a place he sought whenever he had to make a tough decision.
For two years, Arwin had been watching him through Parangsa, and he knew that fact better than anyone else.
Berg sighed and brushed off the pollen that had settled on Adam’s gravestone.
Berg still seemed unable to let go of Adam’s memory, unable to even fill in his gravestone properly.
“…What should we do, brother?”
Berg whispered to Adam in such a manner.
Arwin couldn’t help himself and approached Berg.
He felt like he had to convince him somehow.
Arwin wanted to share centuries of time with Berg in any way he could.
Any trouble in this place would disrupt all their plans.
“…”
Arwin simply wished for Berg’s safety.
He thought it might be better for Berg to escape to some quiet life hidden away in the woods.
He wanted to avoid conflicts and fights with anyone.
Wasn’t it already hard enough like this?
“…Berg.”
Arwin spoke to Berg, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“…Let’s run away, the two of us.”
“…”
“…We’re not ready at all.”
Berg didn’t respond; he just sat there in silence.
The more he remained silent, the more frustrated Arwin became, and he began to question Berg.
“…Why can’t you make the obvious choice? Go to the capital and join the royal family—”
“—Leaving our comrades behind?”
Berg interjected, cutting off Arwin.
There was an unfathomable depth in his voice.
“…”
Arwin was reminded of a story Silfrien once told him.
Felix was a coward, but… he was faced with a trial that required courage.
Silfrien himself disliked conflicts, but he had to maintain harmony amidst the chaos.
Cienna, who had once been a saint, had to suppress her feelings even if there was someone she liked…
…The Lone Ranger may long for the company of his comrades, but he might as well be tasting perpetual farewells.
“…”
Of course, Arwin didn’t want to think of Verg as the Lone Ranger.
He didn’t want to think that.
Most Lone Rangers met their end after the war had concluded.
And if Verg were to be called the Lone Ranger.
If Krund were still leading the war.
…Verg might meet his end.
With such a crazy assumption, Arwin might not even realize that he was forcibly arguing that Verg was not the Lone Ranger.
But every time Verg refused to avoid the fight, this anxiety grew.
It was a fact that combining the Drago family and their power would increase the chances of survival.
Nevertheless, Verg did not run away for the reason that he could not leave his comrades.
“…”
Arwin, with a firm look at Verg’s response, asked.
“…Is there anything more important than life?”
“…”
“Verg, there are so many beautiful things in the world. When you die, you won’t… experience any of them. Why do you keep forgetting that fact?”
Arwin silently observed Verg’s retreating figure, who remained without a response.
His presence, like a flower, was as beautiful as it had bloomed, but it seemed like it could be abandoned at any moment.
He didn’t even know he might be more captivated by that brilliance.
“…No, Arwin.”
“…Yes?”
“I mean… I’m doing this to protect.”
A response that was so typical of Verg.
The more he responded in that way, the more Arwin desired him, beyond his reach.
He felt more anxious about his beauty.
He was afraid of not being able to live with him.
“…Arwin, as I said, you should leave Stoppin first. It won’t be entirely safe, as you’ve said.”
Berg spoke to her.
Arwin couldn’t utter a word about it.
There was no pretense.
“…”
If it hadn’t been for Krund, Arwin might have left silently.
No matter how much more time it would take, he would have loitered around him and waited for the next.
But maybe… there was no time?
Was there a guarantee that this wouldn’t be the last chance?
Arwin’s heart flowed out at his concern.
It was a request that he had wanted to save for the perfect moment… but maybe, he too might have changed his mind after hearing it.
Arwin blinked his eyes quietly and spoke.
“…Berg. The request I was going to make once the saplings grow in the fields… I’ll tell you now.”
“…”
Arwin swallowed saliva.
It was the most critical moment.
He also had a heart that couldn’t bear to look at Berg with Ner.
It was hard to push himself away and embrace Ner.
It was a reality he’d wanted to endure… but it wasn’t as simple as that.
At the words of the request, Berg also looked at Arwin.
As if he too was looking to pay for everything Arwin had done for him.
Arwin looked at Berg’s eyes and whispered.
“…I will give you a gift.”
“…?”
“And… I would like for you to treasure this gift more than anything else. Because it is the greatest gift I can give…”
Berg asked Arwin.
“…What is it?”
Arwin looked straight at Berg after making his resolution.
It was something that he had wanted to gift from two years ago.
“Life.”
At Arwin’s words, Berg was taken aback.
He seemed to doubt his own ears.
“…Lifespan?”
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He repeated the word.
“… Without time, there’s no experience or emotion one can feel. I will give you my time. I will give you the ability to have endlessly new experiences.”
“…Arwin.”
Berg tried to interrupt, but Arwin continued, preventing him from speaking.
“Please, continue living as you are right now. With Sien, or Ner …and the child that will be born. Live happily with them. Never forget that you’re carrying my lifespan. Don’t forget that you, Berg, have become a long-living species…Please, cherish your life. No more dangerous things. If you live like this, enjoying all happiness…and when the time of a short-lived species comes to an end…”
She clenched her mouth shut.
I couldn’t easily say the words ‘live with me then’.
However, seeing Berg’s expression, it seemed he already anticipated what she was going to say next.
Arwin approached Berg’s side and kneel next to him, sitting.
She grabbed his hand, which started shaking since she began her proposal.
“…So please, escape now. Your survival is more important to me than anything.”
Berg frowned as if he did not understand Arwin’s words.
And then asked in a quiet voice.
Before any other questions, he asked a fundamental one.
“Why are you trying so hard…?”
“…You really don’t know?”
Arwin retorted.
“….”
There was a pause in Berg’s expression.
Seeing that expression, Arwin revealed her feelings that she had managed to hold back till now.
“I’m sorry I hid it. But you…you must have suspected to some extent.”
“…But you….”
She interrupted Berg’s words and answered.
“Did you believe such words…?”
“…”
To the shocked Berg, Arwin whispered more clearly than ever before.
She tells him her deepest feelings at the most unwanted moment.
“…How could I …give up my feelings for you…”
Arwin 😭😭