54
Two weeks had passed since the high school entrance ceremony.
Starting with the unexpected reunion with Akanishi-san and ending with the terrible encounter with Mio, who had changed so much, the first day of school had been so full of ups and downs that it could only be described as tumultuous.
I tried to forget everything by wrapping myself in my futon, but all I saw when I drifted off to sleep was a nightmare from the past.
I woke up in a cold sweat, as if fleeing from Mio’s cold stare, and the unpleasant sensation of it lingered on my forehead.
After repeating this over and over, I finally managed to get some sleep, but I woke up the next morning feeling terrible, both physically and mentally.
However, I couldn’t skip school so early in the term, so I dragged my tired body to school, and my face must have looked awful.
No one spoke to the obviously ill-humored boy.
Perhaps because of what had happened the day before, Mihara kept glancing at me awkwardly, and Akanishi-san seemed flustered as other girls spoke to her during break time.
Of course, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone, and I didn’t even have the energy to stand up.
So I spent the whole day on my desk, oblivious to the hustle and bustle around me, and before I knew it, it was the end of the school day.
…Well, I’ve been talking for a long time, but I think you can probably guess what’s coming.
The period after admission is a very valuable and important time when everyone is excited and eager to make friends.
Even those who aren’t usually good at talking tend to try to join a group at first, don’t they?
Well, of course. Not many people would choose to isolate themselves on purpose.
The existence of school events makes it difficult to think that you’ll be fine on your own for three years.
Being alone can sometimes lead to being forced to do unpleasant things, so making friends can also be a form of self-defense.
It is sometimes said that school is a microcosm of society, and I think that’s why forming a community is so important.
Because that’s what all normal people do.
Well, if you’re being reasonable.
In other words, those who can’t even do that are outcasts.
So, which category do I belong to?…It goes without saying.
To cut to the chase, I messed up.
I stumbled badly at the starting line.
I couldn’t move during that valuable time. I spent it doing nothing.
In short, I brought this on myself. I sowed the seeds. I can’t blame anyone else.
No one wants to be left alone.
Failure is unreasonable, and it’s extremely difficult to catch up.
Two weeks after entering school, it became clear who got along with whom in the class, and groups started to form to some extent.
Groups of only boys. Groups of only girls.
Mixed-gender popular groups. They may have breaks had different characteristics, but what they had in common was that you would often see them spending their together.
I heard somewhere that once a group is formed, it tends to become more exclusive as the community deepens.
In other words, it means becoming exclusive towards others.
To break in, you would need excellent communication skills or a lot of courage and guts to talk to them.
For me, who had neither of those, making friends was extremely difficult…or so I thought.
“Oi Tsujimura, what are you spacing out for?”
As I was getting caught up in my thoughts, I noticed someone calling out to me, and when I looked up, the face of a boy sitting in front of me came into view.
“Ah, sorry. What were you talking about again?”
“Jeez…Listen to people when they’re talking. Anyway, your chopsticks have stopped moving.”
“Ah, yeah. Right. Thanks.”
I hurriedly started moving my chopsticks as instructed and stuffed my mouth with food.
My friend—at least that’s what I think he is—Eiji Totsuka, glanced at me with a look of exasperation as he bit into his convenience store lunch bread.
“Tsujimura, you’re always lost in thought. Is something bothering you?”
“Well…”
I can’t say no. Rather, there’s too much.
But it’s too heavy for me to talk about, and I can’t easily confide in someone I’ve only just met.
Even if I did talk about it, I don’t think it would make me feel any better, and it’s not like it would solve anything.
“…Well, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I don’t want things to get all gloomy. But listen to this. I recently bought a new game, and it’s become a huge pain. “
Sensing my hesitation, Totsuka changed the subject.
“Oh, what kind?”
“What kind? I was looking forward to the game itself, but my older and younger sisters are being so annoying. They’re always nagging me about how I’m so into it. It’s driving me nuts.”
From Noble mtl dot com
He has the same ordinary appearance as me, the kind you could find anywhere.
But there’s something light about his demeanor, and he sighs in exasperation.
“Hmm. Sounds tough.”
“Tough? You’re making it sound like it’s someone else’s problem…Don’t you have any siblings, Tsujimura?”
“No, I don’t. I’m an only child, so I can’t really relate to what you’re saying. I’ve never had anyone nagging me like that…”
I no, though I hesitate slightly.
“I’m so jealous…I wish I was an only child too. I mean, brothers are fine, but sisters are the worst. When I broke my leg, she even followed me into the bath. It was so annoying. ..”
Totsuka says, looking into the distance.
As for me, there are some parts that I was saved by that fracture, so I couldn’t really say anything about it, so I had no choice but to laugh wryly.
“Ahahahaha…It must have been tough…”
“I couldn’t fall behind in my studies, so they ended up taking away my games too. My older and younger sisters were studying together until the other day. I still don’t get why I had to do something like that just because I was a week late for school…”
Tozuka sighs heavily again.
This friend of mine, who normally talks to other people, is now having lunch with me in the classroom during lunchtime, because as he said earlier, he was late for school – in other words, he was late for the starting dash.
Apparently, he had an accident before entering school, broke his leg, and it took a long time to heal.
I had wondered why the seat behind me was empty, but if that was the case, I guess it couldn’t be helped.
However, for a new student who had just entered school, that one week was a fatal loss of time.
By the time he came to school, groups had already started to form to some extent, so it must have been difficult for him to fit in.
It might have been inevitable that Tozuka, who happened to be sitting behind me and happened not to be talking to anyone, spoke to me.
After that, we started spending our breaks together as a matter of course, and that’s how we got to where we are now.
“But thanks to that, you were able to keep up with your classes smoothly, weren’t you?”
“Yeah, but…I don’t want to thank them honestly. I still get forced to spend time with them when I get home, and they even come to pick me up…How overprotective can you be?”
“…Yeah, that would be annoying.”
I laughed wryly at Tozuka’s complaints, but I agreed with him.
It might be hard to imagine for the old me.
I used to prefer a closed-off world, but talking to someone I had just met – that was tantamount to interacting with others, which was what I hated the most.
“Right!? Right!? I’m a high school student now, so they should let me be more free!!”
Unaware of my feelings, my cheerful friend leaned forward, excited.
His face suddenly came closer, so I reflexively leaned back to avoid it.
“Whoa, your face is too close! And your voice is too loud!”
“I want a girlfriend too! I think my sisters will give me some space if I do. And I just really want to go on a date!”
Tozuka seemed excited, and his nostrils were flaring.
I thought that if he was so eager, he wouldn’t be popular, but I was afraid to point it out.
“Well, I don’t know your sisters well, but do you think they’ll back off?”
“It’ll be fine. Who doesn’t want their family to be happy? They’ll read the atmosphere!”
Tozuka insisted.
There was no basis for it, but he was strangely confident.
Somehow, I envisaged that.
(Happiness, huh…)
I know that there are people who don’t want it.
It’s probably a happy thing not to know that such people exist.
No, rather, is it strange that I know that I am someone who is not wanted?
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Right!?”
Talking to him like this made me realize how distorted I am as a person.
Tozuka is someone who has lived a straightforward life, and I feel like I’m being shown that I’m a fool who has strayed from the right path.
(Even so…)
Even if I can’t be happy. Even if I can’t be happy.
(Not everything, everything Mio wishes for…I…)
“So, Tsujimura! Let’s find girlfriends together!”
A faint feeling had begun to sprout.
As if to extinguish it, his boisterous voice made my body stiffen.