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“Really? You like that author too, Akanishi?”
“Yes. The psychological depiction is delicate, and the expressions are beautiful, so she’s one of my favorite authors. Her compositions are also very clever, so when I finish reading and feel a sense of satisfaction, I realize that there were clues hidden in the beginning, and I end up reading it a second time.”
“Oh, I know what you mean. She’s really good at that. Like, in the series she’s been putting out, I noticed the foreshadowing for Love Kaiser in the second volume, and I couldn’t help but groan.”
Akanishi and I were getting into a lively conversation.
It started with a review of the novel that was the trigger, and now the discussion has expanded to the author.
Thanks to meeting someone with similar interests after such a long time, my excitement is beyond compare to what it was before. It seems that Akanishi feels the same way, as her cheeks seem to have turned a little red.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this much joy in having a conversation.
However, if there is a problem, it’s that…
“…Ahem! You two, have you forgotten about us?”
“”Ah…””
That’s right, we’re in the middle of a group conversation right now.
We weren’t just talking face-to-face, but we ended up getting carried away and talking just the two of us, ignoring the others.
It was clear that this was an incredibly insensitive thing to do.
“S-sorry! It just…”
“It was such a good story, one of the best I’ve read recently… S-sorry.”
We both hurriedly apologized, but I couldn’t help but feel that there was a hint of disapproval in the eyes of the three people looking at us.
The excitement I had felt just a moment ago cooled rapidly, and I naturally cowered.
The feeling of being out of place perfectly describes our current state. I couldn’t bear it.
“Haah… Well, whatever. You two seemed to be having fun? So much so that we couldn’t get a word in edgewise.”
“Tsujimura. When you were talking, you were speaking really fast. It was obvious that your excitement was getting the better of you.”
“Uuu…”
I had no response to Matsush*ta-san and Tozuka’s sarcastic remarks.
This must be what they mean by being on pins and needles. But it couldn’t be helped. We were really having fun.
From Noble mtl dot com
(The last time I had a conversation like this was with Mio…)
Just then, as if she had seen through my thoughts, Mihara smiled at me.
“Tsujimura-kun, you really did seem to be having fun.”
“Um, sorry… I got carried away…”
“No, it’s okay. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Tsujimura-kun smile like that. Maybe not since middle school. Yeah, it might have been the last time you were with Mio.”
The moment that name was uttered, I felt my heart skip a beat.
“Mihara-san, Mio is…?”
“Tsujimura-kun’s ex-girlfriend. You haven’t heard of Misaka Mio from Class F?”
“Wha!? That girl!? Misaka Mio is supposed to be the prettiest girl in our grade!?”
Matsush*ta latched onto Mihara’s words.
The fact that my past was unfolding before my very eyes made my chest ache.
My breath felt heavy.
Hearing Mio’s name from someone else was more than enough to tighten my heart.
— I can’t escape from Mio
It was such an obvious fact, but the feeling of being forced to face it was something I couldn’t get used to.
Is this how trauma is created?
I knew in my head that interacting with others meant being known by them.
Even so, I had made up my mind, but my heart was already creaking.
“Eh, Tsujimura had a girlfriend…? Seriously? No way…”
Tozuka looked at me.
There was no malice in his eyes, and it was clear that he was just surprised, but even being looked at was a burden to me.
I wish I could just say, “Stop it.” In this situation, where all I had to do was utter those words, I still couldn’t bring myself to speak up.
I had just apologized earlier, and I was afraid that if I said anything more, I would completely ruin the atmosphere.
“…Ahahahaha.”
That’s why all I could do was force a wry smile to cover it up.
I didn’t deny it. But my heart was still too weak to give a clear affirmation.
At the end of the day, my true nature was that of a coward who feared being disliked by others.