7. Jealousy is my strength (16)
The fields were barren.
The man’s unconscious has always been like this. A desolate and dry scenery that doesn’t even feel gloomy or gloomy.
In the middle of it, golden eyes were shining alone.
It was a look that didn’t even feel the emotion.
It was to the extent that the expression that he became skinny because he was dry was appropriate. Even a dry towel will be more moist than this.
But I knew
Now the man’s heart was tattered like a rag, but there was a time when it beat as hotly as the sun made of flesh and blood.
He was a man who resented God, fate, and the world.
I couldn’t have endured it without being broken like this.
Of course, there was no way that man would ask for my pity.
Sitting on a rock left alone in the wasteland, he only uttered another chilling question.
“I asked what your intention was.”
It was a tone full of deep fatigue.
It was as if I had disturbed the man’s oblivion. All day long, I was stuck in the depths of my unconscious mind, reminiscing about the past.
Although he was closer than before, he was still a difficult man to face.
Involuntarily, blunt words escaped from my mouth.
“What do you mean?”
“Otherwise, there is no way you would come here. I don’t know what else I did wrong… … ..”
Gently crossing his arms, the man declared in a heavy voice.
“I’m not a good-hearted priest, kid… I’m not the kind of person who listens to you whenever you want to whine.”
It was absurd.
I couldn’t stand my tearful heart and had to spit out a rebuttal.
“What, when did I whine… … !”
“Lately.”
I was speechless at that sharp point.
Then I saw it.
As the man said, wasn’t it just a while ago?
“Didn’t you cry and beg? What did you say, you want to quit now?”
“No, that… … !”
There were waves of memories crashing through my brain.
At the Court on the Mount, I experienced hundreds of deaths. The word was ‘hundreds of times’, and it was like repeating the pain that no one could only experience once.
Of course, I didn’t have the jaw to stay sane.
There were memories of me crying and crying when I reached my limits.
But isn’t that too petty?
It was a situation that no one could bear. How dare you bring out the days when you were in a corner and embarrass yourself.
As for me, I had no choice but to take off the pretense.
“… … Then, then!”
Heh, the snoring sound pierced my heart painfully.
He was a man who even laughed dryly. I finally cleared my throat in embarrassment and had to change the topic.
The man was right.
Because I didn’t have the hobby of deliberately inhaling anesthetics and passing out.
Such exceptional behavior was usually accompanied by good reasons.
The man began to draw out his reasoning one by one.
“Did you need my power?”
“No, not yet.”
“Or do you have any memories to peek at?”
“Not even that.”
“Then what?”
Without erasing the cold complexion, the man asked indifferently.
“I don’t remember we ever getting close enough to chat.”
“I have a question for you.”
Hmmm, a moan escaped from the man’s mouth.
He clearly had a strange look in his eyes.
“Did you forget? The information I can give is limited. And the more crucial clues you give, the less room there is for me to intervene.”
“I know you saved a lot from last time.”
“Yes, it is. But it’s not good enough to fly aimlessly.”
It was a knife-like refusal.
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Just by looking at that firm tone, there seemed to be no room for negotiation. The man slightly averted his gaze and expressed indifference.
“The clues have already been given. After that, it’s up to you… … .”
“Is there any way to bring back those who have been attacked by vampires?”
Maybe it was because it was an unexpected question?
The man’s uninterrupted speech was interrupted. The curious gaze turned to me again.
“Are you really not there? I can give you future information if needed.”
The man did not answer for a long time.
I just kept my mouth shut and quietly looked at my face. how much for that
Finally, an annoyed sigh leaked from the man’s open lips.
“… … You’re out of town again.”
“It’s a problem that will have a significant impact on solving the case.”
“Would you mind?”
While dismissing my argument, the man gave advice with a serious expression.
“My sincere advice, you’d better find the ‘vampire’ while you’re looking for such means. Because it is the only way to reduce the number of victims.”
“Memories of your training in the Great Forest.”
My reply made the man speechless again.
As if to see what he would say, the man remained silent and glared at me.
“You mean the woman you called ‘Samae’ back then, senior Elsie, right?”
“then?”
“That ‘samae’ possessed senior Elsie.”
It was a fact that you may already know.
Subtly, the man often knew what I was doing. It was to the extent that he offered to lend me his strength while fighting the saint last time.
However, it didn’t seem to have been the last few days.
It was understandable just by looking at the cracks in the man’s face. The man was lost in thought for a while, his face distorted.
It didn’t take long to come to a potential conclusion.
He put a hand on his forehead and let out a painful sigh.
“… … That’s why I should have listened to Leto’s story.”
“That Elsie senior seemed to know something.”
The man still hesitated and did not answer.
He seemed confused about how to react to an unexpected situation. He turned his gaze this way, then that way. In the end, I closed my eyes tightly.
While the man hesitated, I remembered my last conversation with senior Elsie.
How to bring back a victim of a vampire?
Senior Elsie clearly said ‘no’. However, the gap until that answer came out was quite trodden in my heart.
It was a fact that I only realized later.
“You also had the ‘Great Witch’ as your teacher. I have no choice but to know more about the barriers that imprison vampires and the vampires… … .”
“… … Did you look okay?”
End of hesitation.
It was a question that the man barely uttered. The subject was omitted, but I was not unable to grasp the intention.
Didn’t you share memories with the man, even temporarily?
So I had to swallow my growing curiosity and speak.
“yes. There seemed to be no resentment or regret.”
And again silence.
It took a few more minutes before the man’s lips softened.
“… … I have no choice but to know.”
It was the words he spat out without making eye contact with me, as if he wasn’t sure about my decision yet.
There was a complex feeling in his eyes. Even so, it was only a blurry expression, but there was a marked gap from the usual when he acted as if his heart was worn out.
It’s a moment to be surprised at the fact that he still has something that can be called ’emotion’.
“Because it was the subject of research for ‘Samae’.”
At the man’s confession that followed, I just stopped thinking.
The research subject of ‘Samae’.
Doesn’t that mean that Elsie-senpai is hiding something?
Or, literally, hopeless.
*
As I gasped and opened my eyes, a fierce pain hit my skull.
The sparse successive memories carved a hazy scene into the retina and eardrum.
“Then what are the words you left behind? For what purpose did you write them?”
“Useful formulation.”
The man’s voice did not waver.
Despite the sudden summons of his first love, his agitation was short-lived. Before even a few conversations, he had already regained complete composure.
“Maybe it will come in handy someday. never forget.”
It was a word that left a strange aftertaste.
I don’t know if it’ll be useful, but ‘never’ forget it.
It was before I even put that question into my mouth.
In an instant, the world shakes.
With a thump, my vision tilted like a collapsed building. A familiar voice hit my ear with a rupture.
[Ian, Ian… it’s okay?! uh, where… There was some medicine around here… … !]
Everything started shaking like a haze.
Sensing something, I urgently had to put the matter into my mouth.
“… … You ‘Samae’!”
Despite the sudden change, the man’s expression did not change.
He was just staring at me with the same nonchalant gaze as the first time.
I shouted, barely swallowing the nausea that rose up from my throat.
“Your sister-in-law wants to see you.”
It was then.
There was a thump, and once again the world shook as if it had collided with something.
Unable to bear it any longer, my body fell to the ground. I wanted to see the man’s face somehow, but my shaky vision didn’t allow me even the slightest freedom.
The only thing I could hear was the man’s unpredictable voice.
“Well… … .”
A dry tone that wasn’t even a sigh or a sigh.
The man left an answer as cold as his tone.
“I don’t want to see you.”
It was before I even commented on this.
Small cracks soon began to spread out of control. From then until the world shattered like a glass window, it was an instant.
When I came to my senses, I was lying on a bed that smelled of medicine.
It wasn’t long before the image of the weeping Emma formed on my retina. It was only then that a bitter smile came to my lips as I grasped the circumstances.
It was a bit sad, but what can I do?
He did not dare to recite words of resentment in front of the weeping Emma.
I just held Emma in my arms and soothed her for a long time.
Only after consolation, hugs, and kisses did Emma manage to stop crying.
It was around that time that I pulled out a small note.
“Emma.”
“… … Yes?”
As if the shock hadn’t gone away yet, Emma swallowed her whimper and answered like that.
Did I get serious
But it was my friend.
I immediately handed the note to Emma. There, the words the man wrote on the back of the letter were moved.
“By any chance, do you know about this formula? The only expert around me is you… … .”
Dew was still forming around Emma’s eyes.
My index finger stole Emma’s tears instead. Accepting my touch naturally, Emma looked down at the words inside the note without saying a word.
It didn’t take long for Emma’s expression to settle.
As if bewitched, Emma looked down at the words on the note, and her eyes became endlessly serious. How many times did those charming lips swell.
Emma let out a deep moan and opened her mouth.
“I don’t know because it’s such an unfamiliar formula. The ingredients are only very rare, and I also bought the herbs in bulk while buying them a while ago. However, once it’s as I expected… … .”
“As expected?”
Emma responded in a serious tone to the voice that was a little nervous.
“… … Like a drug formula? It’s pretty strong too.”
Hearing that, I closed my eyes tightly.
That it might come in handy someday?
‘He’s fucking.’
Apparently, the future ‘me’ wanted to make me a criminal.