619 – 7.5 The season is autumn (8)
First love is always affectionate.
Most first experiences in life are quickly forgotten. It was because it was done in childhood so hard to remember, or because the emotions of the day became dull in the flow of many years.
But only one.
As much as ‘love’ was different. Whoever said that a man cannot forget his first love even after his whole life.
The man was no exception.
He still remembered.
“From now on, you will have to devote yourself to training for several years, sharing the joys and sorrows.”
Cigarette smoke wafting into the air.
From the damp smell unique to the jungle, to the soft, damp soil and the heat of the scorching sun heating up the skin.
That day, the man met the girl for the first time.
A woman who wore a cone-shaped hat the size of her head and did not hide her rugged face.
The white skin did not go well with the blazing southern sun. Her blue eyes seemed to have been created from the water droplets of the lake as jewels, and her elaborate features led the viewers to say, “Lovely.”
Perhaps the expression ‘like a doll’ was prepared for this day.
The master said.
“First.”
“Yes, yes? Ah yes.”
The distraught man finally came to his senses. When she first met, she was staring at her partner for a long time.
There was no rudeness like this.
However, the only person who cared about that fact in this place was her man.
“This is the second child. So, she becomes your sister-in-law… It will be difficult for her to accept her unborn child as her family now, but I hope you will try.”
“Yes, yes… ….”
Even after answering that, she couldn’t shake the man’s bewildered feeling.
She said she had never heard of it.
The fighting dog of the academy, the little demon of the Rainella family.
In a space where a piece of youth was dedicated, she was known as an existence that should not be touched. If she went out of her way for nothing, she wasn’t even weird with Satan.
She was that much of a person of interest.
Even her man, who was a year her junior, had never met and talked with a woman one-on-one. Not just her man, but most of the students.
Why should I have a conversation with this notorious girl?
So it was unfamiliar.
The fact that she was meeting a woman at close range like this, and the fact that no matter how closely she looked, she did not look like the protagonist of that vicious rumor.
This sentiment was soon shattered.
“…… Hey.”
From the moment I held hands with the girl.
“Don’t try to match me? I’m Elsie Rainella. Compared to a lower aristocrat like you, qualitatively… Kyaaagh!”
A single bolt of lightning struck straight down as if he had guessed.
The girl immediately screamed, and her man, who had been lost for a moment, let out a deep sigh.
That’s right.
There were already days before her eyes where she would suffer from heartache.
I thought so.
Even after that day, the man had a hard time enduring the girl’s spirit as she was stepped on in her eyes. Perhaps it was pitiful for her to be ostracized among her pupils because of her angular personality.
She has the eyes of the Archwitch, so she couldn’t do shady bullying.
It’s just that everyone in her was reluctant to stay away from her.
It is self-employed.
She thought so, and if her man thought so too, it would have been the end. Even so, why?
“…… What.”
The sound of the pattering rain was cool. Beneath the heavy rain beating the leaves, the man put an umbrella over the woman’s head, who was sitting in silence.
There was no one around. The sky overcast with dark clouds is darker than usual, and the season is summer.
It was the rainy season.
“I want to get wet in the rain after a long time.”
“Then why would you put an umbrella over someone else’s head and f*ck?”
“You’re right, Cheongseung. If you are alone in the rain.”
Then the girl giggled at her and jerked her head away.
According to rumors, it wouldn’t be strange if he got angry right away and rushed at it.
The Great Forest with heavy rain created a dreamy landscape. Dim lighting, raindrops that cause clear death, ripples spread in the puddles, and all life holds its breath.
We admired a landscape painting for a while in silence.
A few seconds, a few minutes. How much for that
“Do saemae also feel lonely?”
I raised a topic out of the blue.
I couldn’t figure out why. Perhaps it was because the girl squatting alone in the rain looked very lonely.
At last, the brusque tone returned as usual.
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“Then am I not even human? And not sister-in-law, senior…… !”
“I want you to act like someone who doesn’t know about loneliness.”
The girl caught her surprise closed his lips hesitantly. Again, the eyebrows of the woman who averted her gaze dropped.
“…… Whatever.”
“Can’t you be a little nicer? Everyone is afraid of the sister-in-law.”
“I don’t know. I’ve been like that since I was little… Back then, it was enough to take care of my own people. And I warn you again, I am not your sister-in-law, but a senior…… !”
“Then now?”
The girl is speechless again.
I didn’t bother answering. I was just tilting my umbrella, looking at the raining jungle.
The running water was muddy and seeped into my shoes.
“No more.”
Hesitating, one word I finally spat out.
The crumpled and torn feelings were tattered. Even if you vomit it up with words, it reminds you of rags.
“My people and the people I need to protect… Because I haven’t gotten that strong yet.”
I felt a faint dread in that confession.
I can’t protect anything, and I can’t accept others recklessly for fear of going through the pain of parting again.
How can I not know that heart?
Me too.
So we stayed silent for a while longer.
I could feel the gaze directed at me. At first glance, I saw blue eyes watching my face.
The sound of snoring soon followed.
“Asshole… What if it’s all wet?”
I burst out laughing after hearing Elsie’s sarcastic words.
“It is the same with the sister-in-law.”
“No, how many times have I called you a senior, not a sister-in-law… Hey, do you really want to die?!”
As I looked at the girl who raised her arms and sprinted like that, I was overcome with an unknown emotion.
What was the identity of that emotion?
It wasn’t until several more months passed that I realized it while taking a sweet breath.
It must have been love.
We kissed each other, put our bodies together, giggled and joked with each other.
I also took the girl’s beginning. The next day, walking awkwardly and blushing for no reason was cute.
So naturally, around the time I couldn’t imagine a life without a girl.
“De, I finally saved it…… “
The Great Forest was on fire, and the girl she loved lay leaning against a tree, bleeding.
While spitting out a bloody voice.
“…… My precious person.”
The season is still summer.
And from now on, summer.
The man couldn’t take a single step from the memory of that day.
It’s like falling into a nightmare that repeats itself forever.
*
The man suddenly came to his senses.
I had a very old dream. Maybe it’s because the familiar tone and the way he spoke awakened memories of happy days.
It was a bad joke.
The only person who felt the pain of revisiting memories that could not be recovered was her man. She had experienced it many times before, and hadn’t she promised not to repeat it again?
There was not even a place left to carve new scars on her worn out chest.
So you have to shake it off.
Memories and happiness were like snowmen. It is beautiful when left where it is.
If you take it out at will, it will melt unsightly.
Yes, actually.
The man did not want to show her tattered face. Because the man she loved no longer exists.
It was then.
“I’m tired…… ?”
What should I say?
As soon as the man heard that, she couldn’t open her mouth because of the emotions that rushed up. On the contrary, she has so many things she wants to say.
The golden eyes that couldn’t win her heart turned to her back. There, stood a girl watching her eyes like a dead puppy.
With light moisture around her eyes.
Are you tired?
“Since it has been several years since I died… So, are you tired of that?”
That can’t be.
Looking at the deep blue recording reminded me of that day. Every time the sound of her raindrops hit her eardrums, her man’s chest was wet and painful.
When the summer sun shines down.
“After all, I have a bad personality and a poor body… You, unlike you.”
I used to think of the days we used to share umbrellas. Or the days of sweating together and chopping firewood, or at least the days of bickering, would suddenly pass by in my mind.
Yeah, I’d rather forget.
“Not really, I’m not good at socializing… ….”
Every time I thought of a crying face or a smiling face, it was insanely difficult.
“…… All, of course huh.”
Dew trickled down the cheeks of the depressed girl.
Tuk, thuduk.
One drop, two drops. Why does the sound of falling tears resemble the sound of rain?
“Yeah, but I still wanted to see you one last time. I can see your face, hehehe…….”
The girl who tried to pretend to be calm is choking.
Maybe she didn’t want to show her weak side anymore.
The girl tried to turn her body around and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She just kept her silence without even knowing why the man himself.
What should I do?
She
She thought she knew, but she thought it was over when she coldly turned her back.
“…… Thank god.”
And her woman took her steps.
Is this the end?
Unexpectedly, the inspiration was not great. It’s just a repeat of the breakup that I’ve already been through countless times, so it’d be better to live with the dream of those days, even if it’s just a fantasy.
“Because you forgot me. Because you are no longer sick… So goodbye.”
To be honest, I didn’t even know it was an excuse.
The man has already suffered too many wounds. She never wanted to go through the experience of losing someone dear to her.
It’s going to be a short reunion anyway.
It would be better for her if she brushed it off like this.
Throw away, throw away.
With that thought, her man turned his head again.
‘Then what did you save?’
Suddenly, the question the kid asked one day flashes through my mind.
A nerd.
At that time, the kid was a wreck. It collapses right away, and it’s not strange even if it doesn’t happen again.
The man said the same thing.
If there is a difference, it’s just that the eyes are different.
The golden eyes I saw that day were burning with determination.
‘If you throw away one by one, what the hell is left? Was the world peaceful after that?’
It was enough to laugh at the unspoiled little boy’s question.
I should have done that.
When she came to her senses, her man was gnashing his teeth at her steps. Her outstretched hand grasps the girl’s skirt.
Surprised blue eyes turned to the back. She was the exact opposite of before, and the man was still hesitating.
What should I say?
My calendar hasn’t turned over even once since that day.
The season is still summer, summer, summer.
I forgot. Isn’t it natural how much i loved you
It would have been better if we had broken up with resentment.
With such a smiling face, why did you leave me? There were so many things I wanted to say that my brain was a mess.
The end of a brief silence.
The last word the man wrung out was extremely short.
“…… Sorry.”
In a sound that I don’t know if it’s a sigh, a moan, or self-reproach.
The man apologized.
“Because I can’t forget.”
Now it was the girl’s turn to shut her mouth.
Waves hit the face of the girl who was staring blankly at her man.
The corners of her eyes twitch. She wrinkled her nose, narrowed her eyebrows, and then looked at her man with a pitiful expression on her face.
It only takes a few seconds to fill your eyes with water.
“Huh… ….”
I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.
The girl ran straight into her man’s arms. Although he seemed embarrassed, the man had to hold the petite woman’s body in her arms.
Because of her height difference, her girlish face was only buried near her chest. But as if that was enough for the girl, she just cried profusely as she hugged her man’s body as if she were clinging to it.
“Ba, fool… my, how much I… Ugh, you, I missed you… That, so… Huh? Hey, ignore me… Uh uh uh…… !”
“…… Sorry.”
The man thought.
The girl really hasn’t changed.
If it had been before she started dating, it wouldn’t have been strange if she said something harsher, but at best, ‘stupid’.
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It must be his own aegyo.
So the man had no choice but to carefully embrace the crying woman.
“Why, why is that… Ugh, black… Me, I haven’t seen you in a long time, geuk… How good was it…….”
“Sorry.”
Just repeating a brief apology.
A ripple of light emotion spread across the dry face of the man. Her longed-for satisfaction fills her arms as she hugs her girl, closing her eyes in silence.
A sensation that can only be felt when hugging the woman you love.
She thought she had forgotten.
“Sorry… ….”
Why can’t I forget my first love?
I questioned and asked myself, but there was only one answer.
Because I loved you so much.
A trail of smoke from her cigarette draws a trail ahead of the two men and women hugging each other from a distance.
Now there is no scorching sun. On this day, there is no heavy rain, and a chilly wind blows enough to miss each other’s body heat.
The season is autumn.
Today, the man’s long summer finally came to an end.
Oh, it’s a bit emotional…