630 – 8. Will (4)
“If I have to use an analogy, it’s a state similar to a game of ‘cutting out pieces’.”
Patriarch Eindel was so lucky. It was to respond to my request for a detailed explanation.
In front of him were wooden blocks trimmed into rectangles. They were stacked one by one to form a tower, which was one of the common games on the continent.
The person who takes out those pieces one by one in order and eventually destroys the tower loses.
It was a simple rule, but since it involved my life, I felt cold for nothing.
“Now, a tower with all its pieces in is very stable. This stability would not be greatly compromised by the removal of a few pieces.”
Of course, there are exceptions.
I did not bother to inquire into the meaning of the addition. If you remove the wooden block located at the bottom of the tower, the balance will be upset in an instant.
Anyway, it was a story that had nothing to do with it now.
Patriarch Eindel didn’t seem to want to spend much time on this either. He merely took out the wooden blocks that made up the tower one by one with calm gestures.
“All power comes with a price. In particular, skills such as ‘vision’ are like the essence of a person’s life, and of course, in order to learn them, part of the imagery must be removed.”
“You mean that ‘part’ is a piece of wood?”
“Is this too cheap a metaphor? Well, coincidentally, there was a ‘cutting out game’ here, so I compared it to it, but there are many similar examples. For example, an alchemy cauldron filled with powerful magic ingredients at random…….”
“Could you continue the main topic?”
The old priest nodded obediently to my request. He was also a priest, and of course he must have watched over and over again the feelings of terminally ill patients.
The old man conveyed plain facts without even a word of complaint.
“Ian, your images already contain too many visions. In other words, it can be said that most of the wooden blocks are missing, and it is a tower that only maintains a sparse shape.”
“However, I haven’t had any problems so far… ….”
“Nobody knows how the tower will fall. Until the tower collapses.”
Warrr.
The tips, which had been snatched away one by one, eventually collapsed. Looking at the disorganized piece of wood, I had to feel an indescribable sensation.
Should I say chilly or cold?
Patriarch Eindel continued his words in a grave voice.
“A being who has reached the level of a high expert or archmage is strongly influenced by imagery. It’s similar to how the master’s body soon becomes the same as the image. So when the imagery collapses, your physical body also collapses. While vomiting blood.”
“You mean the price of reaching high expert?”
“To be more precise, it is because I learned too many visions. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have reached High Expert in the first place.”
That’s right.
There has never been a case where my skills have grown in a short period of time like mine. It must be because I borrowed too much power from ‘I’ from the future.
Now is just the time to pay the price.
As I swallowed my saliva and leaned against the back of my chair, Patriarch Eindel explained further.
“So no matter how much you fix it, the body will inevitably collapse again.”
“Wouldn’t it be possible to prolong life if you continue to treat yourself?”
“Impossible. It’s too late.”
Meanwhile, Patriarch Eindel piled up the wooden blocks again with his wrinkled hands.
Unlike the first time, he clumsily created an empty seat.
The end was obvious.
Rush and collapse again.
“The collapse of the tower, which has already begun to shake, is inevitable. No matter how many times the treatment is repeated, no one can help when the image completely collapses and the body dies.”
“The deadline is about… ….”
“About a month. If you look at your body now, yes.”
The old priest’s attitude about my death was calm.
To the point where I can’t feel even a hint of hope.
With a sigh, I covered my face with both hands. If I said I wasn’t afraid of death, I’d be lying, of course.
More than that, I was afraid of what would happen after I died.
Who the hell can stop the Dark Church?
Even I, who knew the future, had to make countless sacrifices to stop the Dark Church. A world where the variable ‘I’ did not exist could never stop the Dark Church.
Aren’t the results the scenery I’ve seen in my dreams?
A land where blood and corpses clump together, a world where all sorts of monsters devour human flesh and lose laws and ethics.
Suddenly, the portraits of bleeding women flashed through my brain like lightning.
Will my precious people die like that? I just can’t accept such a future.
Strength naturally went into the hand that was sweeping the skin. As if he wanted to leave fingernail marks on his face.
I couldn’t give up my last hope, and my lips darted on their own.
“If you still look for a way… ….”
“Impossible. Didn’t I tell you that the body collapses no matter how much you treat it? Besides, isn’t it Saint Lucia who healed Ian before?”
Yes. Before Patriarch Eindel, the person who personally healed the body that had become a rag was a saintess.
She was the woman who made her conjugal love in front of the heavenly deity.
Of course, he must have been sincere in treating me. Nonetheless, my body collapsed again.
An overly clear conclusion burrows into the brain.
“If in doubt, send a message to St. Lucia…….”
“Enough.”
I held out my palm without hesitation and rejected Eindel’s proposal.
The old priest huffed and narrowed his eyes and shut his mouth. It’s like you’re giving me the right to speak.
“How many people know about this?”
“First of all, I put a message in the imperial family. And the heads of state will soon find out. Because your existence is that special.”
That was a fair claim. Even the death of a special existence had to be special.
In order to consider the impact it would have on the continent, the heads of state needed to know about my death. Judging from Bishop Aindel’s reaction, it seems that he hasn’t informed the saintess yet.
My head is cluttered.
What if this was known?
I had no idea what kind of chaos would arise. Especially if my lovers hear this, what the hell.
The dismembered question came to an end around that time. Thinking about it won’t give you an answer.
I just thought about Patriarch Eindel.
He was one of the particularly suspicious figures. First of all, Leoric’s will was about to be careful of him, so it would be right to be wary of him.
But it didn’t seem like he was lying now.
He was an old politician who had spent decades in the political arena of the Holy Kingdom. According to common sense, he couldn’t have lied to me as soon as he was found out.
Immediately, the imperial family will try to confirm the facts.
Anguish, conflict, anguish.
In an instant, my brain overheated and I felt a slight headache. No matter how much I worry, I can’t find a way out.
I got up first.
I have to go somewhere. Then you will see the way.
As always.
It was around the time I turned my back with such faint expectations.
“…… Is it okay if I don’t tell you?”
At the question of the old priest who grabbed me again, my eyes glanced back.
The old man was looking at me with deep blue eyes. In fact, he had no image reflected in his retina.
It was not a pleasant feeling as if that strange gaze was digging into my innermost being.
“Death is not an event that can be handled alone. Of course, you get caught up in the people around you. Shouldn’t we share our concerns with them and organize the remaining time?”
Theory.
There was no such thing as a gap to dig into. At least the old man must have been thinking about how to deal with death for a long time than I did.
Rationally, it was an understandable story. Even so, for some reason, I kept repeating my lips.
Soon, he mercilessly turned his head away.
“I will do it myself.”
Keuk kuk, doing it.
It was then that the old priest burst into laughter for the first time. Even if I didn’t do that, my heart was complicated, so the moment I turned my head again out of anger.
I saw a cold flame. Whether it should be called passion or vitality, it was nestled in the old man’s pupils before he knew it.
“Ian Perkus, you mean… ….”
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And the corner of the old priest’s mouth slightly bent.
A gentle smile appeared on his face before he knew it. As if the image I had just seen could be a lie.
“You are arrogant.”
Arrogant?
It wasn’t even worth answering. Eventually, I turned around and started walking. I don’t know where to go, but wherever my feet can reach.
For now, yes.
It was my turn to look for Celine.
*
So, in front of me was a one-eyed man who had lost one of his limbs.
A woman who is looking at documents in her temporary office has a smile of absurdity on her lips. The lady of Alpenhauser, with her silvery hair and silvery pupils, questioned me again in disbelief.
“What?”
“I told you to be the bait. Senior Siene.”
Sirene-senpai was silent for a while at my unhindered reply.
I put the quill I was holding on the pen stand and looked at me with eyes that I couldn’t understand with my arms folded for a while.
Soon, she put a plain word into her mouth.
“Crazy bastard.”
It was a criticism I hadn’t heard in a long time.