685 – 8. Last Words (59)
Recall the memories of a friend you have shared throughout your life.
No, I don’t remember it. So many memories were digging into my brain like an awl. It was as if I was looking at the light of a friend who had fallen in front of me.
Huh, hahahaha.
I want to say something, but language has not been established. I just looked at Leto’s face with a devastated gaze, like an animal that had lost its mother.
The look on the face as the flame of life fades away.
A trembling hand touched Leto’s wrist. It was cold, and the pulse was faint. The throbbing was becoming increasingly faint. I was now being punished.
“Ian.”
With his eyes unfocused, Leto let out such a calm tone.
“As I said, the contract is unfinished. I couldn’t bear to offer you in return… If that happens, their will will be done.”
Okay, I grit my teeth. I applied so much strength to my jaw joint that it seemed like blood was sprouting. My clenched fist is shaking.
My eyes became watery and my vision became blurry. Before I knew it, I was just shaking with my eyes tightly closed.
Even though I wiped away my tears, there was no end to my tears.
Is this heavenly punishment?
“So, let me go instead.”
“No…” ….”
The voice that finally came out was close to an earnest appeal. It was a very weak sound, but Leto smiled faintly when he heard my cry.
Is it bluff or comfort?
It was probably both. Because the ‘Leto’ I knew was that kind of man.
You can never watch something go out of shape. Yet, in the end, he is a man who cannot abandon the last weak part of himself as a human being.
That’s why he became an indispensable friend to me.
“No, no…” It’s not over yet. “There might be a way.”
The possibilities that were thrown out without any reason did not contain any reason. It was natural that the idea of having to go through rational thinking was impossible.
Just, I wanted to hold on to something.
“Ian… ….”
“Lucia!”
Leto tried to scold me, but my cries were faster than his.
The saint silently folded her hands and said her prayers. I couldn’t understand the meaning of the way she crossed herself from time to time, but I didn’t even have time to worry about it.
“Right now, somehow…” Treatment…… !”
“No.”
It was a firm yet watery voice.
The saint shook her head with her eyes closed, as if it was difficult for her to make eye contact with me. Blurry dew sparkles around her eyes.
“It’s impossible, Ian…” The price due to the ‘contract’ is never… ….”
“Somehow!”
Thump.
Unable to overcome my emotions, I hit the ground and a sound like a cracking sound was heard from the white of my eye. I begged, glaring at her saint with bloodshot eyes.
“Somehow, somehow…” Can’t you just do it! “Because she’s a saint!”
“Ian… ….”
Letting out a faint sigh, the saint avoided my gaze. As if she couldn’t bear to see me suffering anymore.
“If you can’t…” Whoever… how should… Leto…… !”
“I’m sorry.”
The words of apology finally uttered while bursting into tears.
I chewed my lips hard. Even though blood oozed out, nothing changed.
“No, no…” Ugh, I’m sorry… Ian, I tried my best, but… I can’t… ….”
That can’t be possible.
There is no way Leto could die like this. I felt like I wanted to write something evil.
Leto is dying? To save me?
It shouldn’t have been like this.
I lived my whole life being irritable like a child. Leto was a friend who always criticized my stubbornness, but eventually sighed and made my stubbornness a reality.
But does this mean that I will die because of my stubbornness until the end?
Because of that vain greed of not losing anything!
That was so cruel. I felt guilty, and I hated myself.
Just before I let out the emotions that were swirling like a typhoon.
“Stop.”
A low voice dissuaded me.
I flinched, stopped, and turned my head towards the fallen man again. Leto’s body was suddenly stained dark red in various places, and was scattering like ash.
As if announcing the end.
“Stop it, Ian…” There’s nothing to blame. “Because I chose it.”
“But…… !”
“That’s the price of having an ugly friend who is always motivated.”
I ended up keeping my mouth shut due to the same harsh words as always.
I had nothing to say. The feeling of having nowhere to go only turned into a punch that left me helpless on the ground.
Huh, I said.
Leto confessed while taking a hard breath.
“Ian, I hated you.”
I didn’t say anything in response to the sudden confession. Because my friendship with Leto was not so light that I was shocked by just saying a few words.
“The place that suited me was a place like a workshop or a library. The narrow corner of the room was my world… But one day I met you. You are truly helpless and stupid, and after doing something…….”
“…… Stop.”
Slumping down, I let out a vague plea.
Even though I was holding my face, the tears did not stop. The same goes for crying.
Why did I want to dissuade Leto?
Perhaps it was because Leto’s tone as he reminisced was so calm. I feel like the memories that are as precious to me as they were to him will remain as scars forever.
I tried my best to suppress my sobs. It was as foolish as standing on a cracked embankment.
“I think I was jealous of you.”
It was a calm statement.
At this time, I decided to just stay by Leto’s side until the end. There was only so much I could do for him.
Snow is falling from the midwinter sky.
“Because I have always been the type to calculate first. There were more times than not when I was measuring this and that and then gave up. But, you were always clear about what you wanted to do… “Once I made up my mind, there was no hesitation.”
“How can I do it without you?”
I asked that question in an extremely empty voice.
“When I behaved recklessly, you accepted everything. Making plans, interfering from the side… That’s how I lived my life stubbornly. But how… Without you, how…… “
In the end, there was no end to the question. While I was trying to force out a voice that wasn’t even coming out of my throat, I had to wipe my eyes with my sleeve because I didn’t want to show tears.
I just let out mangled sobs.
“How could I…” Huh? How on earth…… !”
“Somehow.”
It was an incredibly irresponsible remark that Leto uttered. Nevertheless, the tone seemed so reassuring.
I had to stare blankly at my friend’s vaguely smiling face.
“As always… You can do it, Ian. I’m finally done being your babysitter… Cough!”
“Leto!”
Seeing Leto coughing up black blood without even speaking, I unconsciously tried to support him.
If only Leto hadn’t stopped me with a glance.
It meant that it had no meaning. I gritted my teeth again.
“Ian… “There are many people like me in the world.”
“You are the only friend I have.”
“Yeah, I guess dedicated nerds like me are rare.”
hehehe, I let out a sound that I couldn’t tell if I was laughing or crying. It was the same with Leto.
“But… “People like you are really rare.”
“It’s not the only one.”
“You are the only one among my friends.”
hehehehe, hahahaha, ugh…….
Conventionally, laughter and crying are mixed. I slammed both fists on the ground and buried my head in the dirt. The saintess still turned her gaze away from me.
The tears flowing down resembled raindrops.
“Ian, have I ever told you why I gamble?”
“…… No.”
“You can calculate any number of cases. If you repeat it over and over again, the probability of losing in gambling becomes extremely low… But, I wanted to believe.”
I didn’t ask what.
More than half of Leto’s body had already faded. Because the rising black smoke was gradually taking away his existence.
There was no time.
“Extremely low probability, a number of reversals that should never be aimed for if judged rationally.”
“Leto, please…” ….”
“This is my last gamble.”
Neither laugh nor cry.
Leto quietly closed his eyes. I had doubts until the very end.
Why can you look so calm?
Without any doubt, the gambler’s eyelids close.
“I’m betting on you.”
While sobbing and panting, I prayed earnestly.
“Don’t go…” ….”
But my friend’s body is only becoming more and more blurred.
A person who could not give up, a person who accepted the end.
A child and an adult were crossing each other.
The man gave his final testimony while panting.
“It’s going to be nothing but sh*t from now on. The world is not a kind place for children… But, Ian. Because you are not me… Yeah, because I’m not an adult. I’m asking you a favor. So this world, no…….”
Light disappears from the eyes. It was a clear sign that the flame of life was dying out.
“Celine.”
It would be absolutely impossible for me, but even as Leto added that, I couldn’t stop crying.
Leto’s body had already faded to the point where it was difficult to distinguish.
“No, no…” Leto, you bastard!”
“Please do me a favor.”
From Noble mtl dot com
That’s the end.
I cried and held it in a mess, but not even a single piece of my old friend’s body remained in my hands.
A friend’s body turns into ashes and scatters into the sky.
I fell down on that empty seat, panting and laughing for a long time.
“Heh, heh… “You idiot.”
I couldn’t hold it in until the end and I ended up shedding tears. While chanting with a throat that was already rested.
“You always lost when you gambled… “You bastard!”
Even though he clenched his fists.
“Hmm, ah… hehehe, ahahahaha…….”
Even if I hit the ground with a bang.
“hehehehe, hehehe, ah… Ah… ….”
Nothing comes back. Since I couldn’t grasp anything, there was only one sound I could squeeze out.
Scream.
“aaah!”
Screams do not reach the sky.
The snow continued to fall, and the ash that was once my friend only scattered like small fires.
With a woman crying and praying in the background.
I lost my friend, and my friend asked me for the world.
That was the will.
Excruciatingly, that is.
Oh…