699 – 8. Will (73)
“No, then you tricked Leoric…” … !”
“I don’t know.”
Along with the rattling noise made when closing the lid of the canteen, the woman gave such a blunt answer.
It was a short answer that was difficult to even guess its meaning. Naturally, my frown narrowed, and before I could even ask what he was talking about.
“I don’t know. ‘Unknowing’… I mean, I don’t know. “Who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?”
“No, then what I said to Leoric…… !”
“Have you ever heard of ‘confirmation bias’? Basically, people are weaker when it comes to stories they want to believe… If you’re about to die, there’s no need to say anything. “Even though it was the last time, I let you go with peace of mind.”
There was no hint of reflection or guilt in the answers he gave without hesitation. At that cynical attitude, I once again felt heat rising to my uvula.
“Then it’s a lie…… !”
“No.”
Already the third time.
It was an assertion that pierced my eardrums even before the question was finished. However, like the first time I heard it, it was difficult to understand its meaning.
I was speechless. Then the woman put her canteen back on her belt and spoke again.
“It wasn’t a lie.”
“No… Does that make sense? Just now, you said you didn’t know whether you would go to heaven or not!”
“I don’t know.”
“But how…?” … !”
“Because I believe it.”
I wanted to retort, but no words came out.
Maybe it’s because the light pink eyes that look at me have suddenly become serious again.
“Because I believe in it. “That will happen.”
It was a confidence that did not show even a single flaw.
It was a belief so strong that I could not even imagine, a feeling that had been refined over a long period of time to the extent that I did not dare to open my mouth even though I had only glimpsed a small part of it.
“If you don’t know and can’t do it… All that’s left is faith. “It’s a natural conclusion, right?”
“Have you ever regretted it?”
It was a question that came out of nowhere.
Even I didn’t know why I asked this question, so I couldn’t hide my confusion.
“Was that belief right or wrong?” You don’t know, right? “It may have been a vain belief.”
“That’s right.”
“Don’t you also know that not everyone can go to heaven? “It’s impossible for that belief to come true!”
“I guess so.”
“But how!”
“You.”
My image is reflected on the retina of the saint who stands crookedly, looking at me with her arms crossed. A young child who is restless and unable to hide his embarrassment and cannot make proper eye contact.
Is this me?
“Have you never trusted anyone?”
That can’t be possible.
“Or, have you ever received trust from someone?”
After hesitating and thinking for a long time.
Soon, I turned my head slightly and let out an uncertain voice.
“…… Doesn’t exist.”
“Lie.”
A woman tilts the canteen once again, smiling.
“If not… “That person.”
Her light pink eyes looked towards Leoric as he faced her death with a smile, and then with a faint exclamation, she touched my mouth with her sleeve.
“And there is no way I would have appeared in front of you.”
“That’s… ….”
“This is the path you came to, right?”
My eyes suddenly turn to my hands. There, before I knew it, a jet black stick was being held in my hand.
It was like that.
I was hoping to reach this place. I ran like crazy and somehow arrived at this place.
Why on earth?
The question was not long.
“Now, go.”
The woman’s fingers point to the side. The sprouts that had bloomed on the ground where the snowstorm had cleared were leading a new path.
“Because the memory you have been searching for so long is at the end.”
I stared at the place the finger was pointing in silence for a while.
I began to walk slowly again. Then, as I passed by Leoric’s body, my eyes suddenly fell on the man who was once my enemy.
It was then that another word struck my eardrums.
“Do you still think that way?”
My eyes glance back. There, standing there, was a saint looking at me, holding a canteen filled with alcohol.
“The path you walked had no meaning… “It was just the result of vain stubbornness.”
At least, it was something I had never revealed to a saint.
But, that’s right. Because this was in my subconscious. It wasn’t strange no matter how impossible things were.
My eyes turn to Leoric again.
Why did he look at me and look like he was saved? And how was he able to close his eyes with such a peaceful expression?
I didn’t know. It may be a riddle, a problem I can’t solve in the first place.
“…… No.”
I answered that and walked away. Walk and walk, to the edge of the land where there is no snow.
It wasn’t that far. I was able to reach it with only a few dozen steps at best.
I could see that it was getting closer. The fact that the empty space in front of you is particularly unstable.
The moment I tightened my grip on the jet-black stick.
“True.”
With a voice that was faintly drunk, the woman stopped my steps.
“I asked you if you ever regretted it?”
“…… ?”
Wasn’t that question and answer already over?
With that question in mind, I looked back and saw a woman holding a canteen smiling bitterly. In a somewhat withdrawn posture.
“There is. “Just once.”
It was before I even asked what was happening.
“Once upon a time, I dated an idiot. No, well… In fact, he was the only man I dated in my life. Anyway! Because that person is a fool, a fool… ….”
The drunkard’s tongue begins to twist, and his words become gibberish.
Nevertheless, the face of the woman telling the story of the ‘fool’ looks unusually bright and warm.
I almost wondered if she was the same woman who had been snapping at me. No matter how oblivious she was, anyone who saw her would have been bound to notice.
I am in love with you.
“I sent it to you to live well… “She was doing something naughty.”
Soon, the canteen tilts again.
The woman who poured out the last drop of water in her mouth smiled extremely bitterly.
“Pain, regret, miss.”
She huffed, but then burst into laughter and tried to act calm.
Even her sad expression could not be hidden from her young face.
“I wish that weren’t the case… “Then, I became a boring man who lost all emotions.”
“Why do you do that to me?”
“It looks a lot like you.”
I burst out laughing.
Me? With that guy?
No matter how much I thought about it, it was an unsuitable combination. That must have been the reason why I went along with the drunkard’s nonsense.
“Aren’t you mistaken? That human has no blood or tears, so he doesn’t suffer or shed tears like me…….”
“No. “It looks similar.”
But again, in that confident tone of voice.
I kept quiet for a moment. The eyes of the woman who said that looked so painful.
“You probably want to cry even now. It might be painful. Only… “I just pretend it’s not like that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m scared.”
The light pink gaze staring at me was heavy. As if she had something to say not only to him, but also to me.
“You’re pretending not to know that it hurts. “The moment you look back at your own wounds, you will have to face again the things you abandoned and lost.”
“How can you be sure of that?”
“Because it’s me.”
Unwavering faith again.
The line floating around the woman’s mouth looks particularly sad.
“Because I loved that man more than anyone else.”
I was silent for a while.
I turned my gaze straight ahead again. As I grabbed the jet black stick, I felt even more confident.
This is the front.
Before I left, I had a Q&A that would probably be my last.
“Is there anything you want to say?”
“…… ?”
“To that person.”
The woman, who was silent with her eyes wide open, burst into laughter only after some time had passed.
Hmm, sounds like he is struggling.
There was no need to wait long.
“First of all… “When I meet you, I’ll give you a hit with Seongguk Jujutsu!”
Swish, swish.
The voice of the woman punching the air was particularly excited. In fact, the content was close to impossible.
Do you know how strong that person has become?
That was when I said, “Huh,” And smiled helplessly.
“Don’t do anything stupid anymore, just ‘obey’! After saying that…….”
The once energetic woman’s body gradually loses strength. The side of her face with a faint smile is so lonely.
I deliberately avoided eye contact.
Everyone has something they want to hide from everyone.
“I love you… send it. “More than anyone else in this world.”
That’s the end.
From Noble mtl dot com
As the jet-black bar splits the air, an unfamiliar landscape is revealed. There was no reason to hesitate anymore.
Gilford told me that there was a ‘promise’ he had forgotten.
Uren laughed at me for having lost my way, and Reynold declared that I was a person who had the courage to choose the right path.
Why?
Now, I take steps forward carrying the life that Leoric told me. I walked and walked like that, and ended up here.
As I come out of the crack, a familiar landscape welcomes me.
Village, fire, blizzard.
My hometown that I miss.
Heh, heh. An inexplicable laugh escaped my lips.
Yes, it should be like this.
How could I have suffered only one loss?
Trudge, trudge. I took heavy and difficult steps and sat down on my knees like a criminal.
In front of the bloody boy.
“Master… ….”
My young friend, who believed in me and followed me more than anyone else.
She begged me to teach her how to use a sword to protect her younger sister, and she also said that she would become a great knight like me someday.
The person I could not protect.
“Ned.”
My muffled voice chanted the boy’s name.
This is another will.