775 – 9. There is not a single day when this does not happen (24)
Starlight rises like fog in the dark pond.
On a night when the sound of insects chirping quietly resonated in my eardrums, I visited the ‘Pond of Forgetting’ as usual. For meditation, or to find an old relationship that is troubling.
As I walked along the stretching blades of grass, I saw a familiar face.
Gray hair standing on the mysterious border between black and white, pure white skin meekly accepting the moonlight. Even though it is not clearly visible, the facial expression shows a slight sense of fatigue.
There was no need to ask for permission.
I walked over and sat down next to the girl. The view of the pond from leaning against the wooden pillar was wonderful.
It was a romantic place. So much so that when a man and a woman stay alone, her heart naturally feels tickled.
However, there was another reason why I came here.
“Why here?”
It was a question asked to open the conversation. I didn’t really expect an answer, and the woman also remained silent.
It wasn’t his intention to ignore me. It was just that I was confused and was asked a question that wasn’t clear. I don’t know what to answer.
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So I added a more specific question.
“If you want to meditate, there are many places. There will be your own room too… “But why do you come here every day?”
It was a reasonable curiosity.
All practitioners in ‘Sword Circle’ practice meditation. It was to realize the essence of ‘jin (盡)’. However, out of hundreds of disciples of Heavenly Sword Mountain, only one meditates every day in the ‘Pond of Forgetting’.
I can only guess that there must be some reason.
Even the ‘Pond of Forgetting’ itself was a place bound by tradition and customs. It was a place where those who entered the ‘Sword Circle’ threw away their worldly attachments that they could not get rid of along with their precious belongings.
Seria was still silent. She was pretty good. Am I the one who is disturbing the woman in her meditation?
How long has it been since I listened to the courtship song of a grass bug?
“…… Well.”
That was the answer that finally came back.
I couldn’t find the answer on my own, so my tone was vague.
“I think there was a reason before, but I’m not sure anymore.”
“But it’s only been a few months.”
“Can’t we do that?”
Seria’s attitude when asking that question was unusually proactive. The sparring with senior Delphine may have brought about some change in his heart.
The tone was still calm, though.
“It’s only been a few months, so it may be even harder to know.”
I sighed and looked straight ahead.
The pondside, illuminated by the moon and stars, was quiet. But how many things might be sleeping at the bottom?
Furthermore, I wonder how many people stood here with what kind of determination.
I just couldn’t figure it out. In a way, I think Seria feels the same way.
The surface of the water only reflects the sky. Isn’t it often difficult for even oneself to guess the truth that lies beneath?
Before we knew it, Seria was lowering her head with a sullen expression.
“I know. The fact that I’m clumsy…….”
Gloomy waves crash inside the deep blue pupils. Looking at that, I thought of a junior I met a long time ago.
The girl was pretending to be strong even then. Lonely and scared. She lived her life trying to hide her cold, hard shell.
I suddenly became curious.
“Do you remember the story we told you before?”
“…… ?”
At the sudden question, puzzled eyes turned to me. It was exactly the reaction I expected, so there was no hesitation in my voice.
“I told you there was a junior who disappeared without saying a word. I liked dolls…….”
Only then did Seria let out a faint exclamation. It was only a few days ago at most, so of course it was.
It was the first day I fell into meditation.
At that time, I had the opportunity to find out about Seria’s inner thoughts. Although I had to present a skit that was not about ‘Instructor Gong’ but about my junior who suddenly disappeared.
This should have been enough for today.
It was probably already confusing enough, but I didn’t want to shock it any further. I just wanted to know why Seria was trying so hard to clear her name.
Why on earth is it so unreasonable?
“Why did it disappear?”
Then the girl slowly looks away.
The scenery that Seria and I saw finally overlapped. Our pupils will be filled with the blue light of the pond.
“…… “Didn’t you tell me then?”
“I want to hear more details.”
I didn’t give up and asked again, but Seria’s cheeks turned slightly red as she avoided my gaze. Now that her spirit had subsided, she seemed to have become a little more docile.
I had no intention of forcing it. Seria’s concerns must not be light enough for me to interfere carelessly.
At least until you ask me for help.
However, I decided to push Seria’s back one last time.
“There is no one who resembles my junior as much as you.”
It was true. It was ‘Seria Jurdina’ herself, and there is no one who resembles my junior more than the girl sitting next to me.
The silence was surprisingly not long.
The girl, with a silent and gloomy expression, soon began to purse her lips.
“Because existence itself can be a sin.”
It was a confession I heard last time too. At that time, did she say that ‘existence itself is wrong’?
I had no choice but to use a strong tone due to the absurdity of the statement.
“There is no such person in the world.”
“There is.”
But the answer that came back was also filled with a lot of confidence.
For now, I tried to retort by just giving him a puzzled look. Seria was still avoiding my gaze.
“It was wrong from the moment she was born. Inheriting the blood of a monster, born with original sin… “A being that has no choice but to harm someone in the end.”
Her low voice was filled with deep emotions. Suddenly, a memory from a few months ago flashes across my retina.
The day I faced a vampire.
Ceria could not overcome her mother’s blood, so she went on a rampage. She was hostile to me and the rest of the group, and after she came to her senses, she went out of her way and never came out.
And then one day she suddenly disappeared.
Of course, I expected that the incident would have had an impact. Nevertheless, the language of self-torture that flows from Seria’s mouth is more intense than you can imagine.
I added hastily.
“It’s not your fault…” ….”
“Still, I still remember.”
Seria’s voice trembled for the first time as she mumbled like that. Slightly trembling shoulders and shaking pupils. The emotions that washed over her like a dark cloud instantly covered her girlish face.
“It was okay if it was for what I wanted. Whether someone is bleeding or screaming…. No, I actually hoped so. Even though I was only imagining it, it felt disgustingly good. “It was like someone was scratching my spinal cord with a knife.”
Anxiety and nervousness.
The name of the wave that hit the girl seemed obvious. It was probably a conclusion he came to after locking himself in his room and repeating it hundreds or thousands of times.
“When I saw that weak arm, I wanted to break it. When I saw a face smiling for no reason, I wanted to scream… If someone fell down, I wanted to kick them and burst their intestines. Because it’s so natural and enjoyable… ….”
“At that time.”
As the confession gradually became more heated, I pursed my lips. If I do that, I think Seria will be able to calm down a little.
“You weren’t in your right mind back then.”
“Do you know what the scariest truth is?”
But it wasn’t.
Despite my poor defense, the fear in Seria’s eyes did not go away easily. When she finally looked back at me, her eyes were filled with deep despair and self-deprecation.
“Actually, that might be close to my essence.”
It was a misunderstanding, I just wanted to brush it off as such and move on.
If only the abyss in her eyes wasn’t so deep.
Can I make rash conclusions? Ceria, she must have suffered thousands of times already.
“You can’t fake blood.”
As she declared, Seria slowly stood up. Would I be mistaken if I thought her back looked particularly lonely?
“He might just be an immature fool. She thought they would never meet again, but somehow she got the chance to meet again… “Because in the future, I may never see you again.”
At that time, her woman stopped speaking once. Since her back was turned, it was difficult for her to guess why.
“Before I knew it, I was making excuses like that. Maybe it’s because of my childish greed, asking you not to forget me…. It’s clumsy, it’s clumsy. Still.”
Just before she left, her eyes met again with Seria, who glanced behind her. A sad blue light forms between the dim moonlight.
“When all the business is done and it’s time to leave… It has to end like that. For you, for us.”
What should I answer? My worries soon lost their meaning.
After quietly nodding, the woman turned around. I quickly realized it was a goodbye.
“…… Maybe that’s what her junior said. “I’m not sure.”
Unusually, Ceria left without meditating. Well, it’s normal if you don’t even feel like that.
A sigh escaped from my mouth as I was left alone. And she thought about Ceria.
A girl born with vampire blood and the fate of a monster.
At one time, I had every right to resent and hate the world. Because her prison without bars, her ‘Yurdina’, was constricting her. That’s why she hated and was jealous of Delphine.
One day, she realized something.
The original sin committed by my mother.
Delphine’s mother was murdered. Also by Seria’s mother.
As much as her childhood nightmares stem from her mother’s absence, Ceria will also know that she hates it. The pain of her blood relatives who lost their mother.
It was a difficult problem to solve. Even if you thought about it and thought about it, there was no guarantee that you would find an answer.
So I closed my eyes. To sink deeper, deeper into the depths of consciousness.
A few seconds later.
I was standing on a snowy field with a sharp wind blowing. Slippery blood overflows, thawing my frozen toes. There were corpses of long-eared demi-humans everywhere.
The eyes of the woman standing in the middle of the snowstorm were shining bright blue. Dark, cold. A star full of scars that has been worn away and only its core remains.
There was no shaking at the tip of the knife aimed at my uvula. The woman spoke calmly and clearly.
“There is a curse.”
I remembered the words of the knight who claimed to be my guide. With hatred and contempt, he addressed the woman as follows:
‘Man-eater’.
“The curse of having to see blood.”
I just burst out laughing. The bloody smell, the biting cold. I guess it was good.
Ghost sword.
The strongest swordsman of this era was a monster in name and reality.