100. Tobacco (6)
1.
As night fell, the weather started to get cloudy again.
It didn’t rain, but it wouldn’t be strange if it rained right away. It was also the weather that represented my heart.
I returned home after meeting Seung-gi and locked myself in my room, skipping dinner.
My parents said they were leaving for an overseas business trip from tonight, so it would have been nice to have a meal while looking at their faces today, but I wasn’t in the mood to do that.
I was shocked at first.
I have always thought that among students who smoke, there is no normal person.
I also had a considerable degree of dislike for such students, and I had no desire to be friendly with those kinds of people at all.
That’s why the victory was even better.
I have always thought that Seung-gi, who has a gentle appearance and a good personality, is not a bad person even though he may have a peculiar side.
It is said that people cannot be divided into dichotomy, but I have always thought that Seung-gi was a good person.
The Seung-gi I saw earlier had a look I had never imagined before.
He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other, as expected. He had never thought that he would ever see him like that.
It was beyond my imagination.
Doubt about Seung-gi bloomed.
I know that it is like elementary school students to think that just because they smoke, they are unconditionally bad people. I understand.
Still, the prejudice deeply rooted in the heart was stronger than I thought.
I wondered if he was actually a completely different person from what I had thought and felt.
Seunggi always lived by saying that he wasn’t such a nice person.
And I have never been able to agree with that statement until now.
Sometimes he has a cynical side, and there are many times when he shows a dry appearance in front of me. Aside from that, I’ve always thought that there is no one like Seung-gi anywhere.
A lot of thoughts came and went.
But the thought that came to my mind the most was… Whatever it is, the feeling of winning has not disappeared at all.
Even if it was Seung-gi who had been hiding himself until now, his heart that he had fallen for once did not change.
To be able to feel that kind of emotion. This time, I started to feel embarrassed about myself.
I can confidently say that I was the closest to Seung-gi this year.
I’ve spent a lot of time with Seung-gi, and I’m closer than any other friend I’ve ever made.
But why do I not believe in Seung-gi?
From noble mtl dot com
Why do you doubt the person I’ve seen named Han Seung-gi?
The Seunggi I’ve seen so far was a very colorful person.
He had a completely different personality from normal men, and many things were different, starting with his values.
Maybe that’s why, I didn’t seem to get along well with other boys. I felt like I was reluctant to hang out with them.
If you ask if it’s only for men, it wasn’t like that again.
Seunggi tried not to open his heart to most people.
Sung Yu-ri, who said he knew a man’s heart so well, was only a hindrance to him.
Always treat people with a smile, and always act with a lot of consideration.
However, the sincerity contained in it was different.
That was an act of drawing a line, not wanting to come closer to him.
Seung-gi was a lonely person.
It’s just my judgment, but in my eyes, he looked more lonely than anyone else.
By the way. If being lonely was his characteristic, that wasn’t it either.
He was the one who had a cute and fun side when you dig into it.
Seunggi likes sports. Among them, he is most interested in baseball.
Basically, he secretly prefers to use his body, so he tends to eat a lot.
You might ask if it’s because he doesn’t usually eat to his heart’s content, but anyway, it’s true that Seunggi eats a lot.
He really likes bulgogi.
I usually don’t pay much attention to side dishes, and I have a habit of going to the cafeteria late to eat a lot. On days when Bulgogi is served, he often leaves early for the cafeteria.
He hates loud songs.
He enjoys listening to piano pieces and new age music.
He likes beautiful scenery.
He especially likes meadows and the night sky. He also stores photos on his cell phone.
He also secretly likes games.
He used to say things like he didn’t think much of it, but I can feel the atmosphere changing when we play mobile games together.
As for subjects, I especially like mathematics, and I am not very interested in liberal arts subjects.
He could tell that his concentration was different even in class.
Aside from that, if you dig into it, you can find out various characteristics.
This was a win.
It’s not what I think of Seung-gi. He was a person who subconsciously lived with those characteristics.
I felt very sorry for Seung-gi.
What are you doubting?
What does it mean to be different from the Seunggi I used to know, and what does it mean to say that Seunggi has been hiding himself?
Do you smoke?
You just need to insert it into the features I just mentioned.
The same goes for alcohol.
All of those things are just what makes up a person called Seung-gi, and it is meaningless for me to make any value judgments.
But why did I think that way?
Expecting alone, disappointed alone.
Maybe I was projecting what I wanted onto Seung-gi.
If that’s the case, I’ll make a character myself and go out with it, so what’s the point of being disappointed with the little Seung-gi?
I made up my mind.
In the meantime, I had a very childlike heart.
I like Seung-gi, and to be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever change my mind.
It is certain that you will never meet such a person even if you live your whole life.
You may not have fully grasped everything about him, but what does that matter? I have plenty of good reasons to like Seung-gi.
Whether you like cigarettes or alcohol.
It’s highly unlikely, but whether his personality is bad or not.
What else is there to judge people with such fragmented information?
On the contrary, I was too young to think that Seunggi only expressed his hatred for smoking while not knowing what he might like or dislike.
I was too lazy to run away after seeing Seung-gi like that.
My feelings for Seung-gi were still the same.
I didn’t even care about cigarettes or anything.
I have to make an appointment with Seunggi tomorrow.
You have to show that you don’t care about the little things like that.
2.
The sky, which had become gloomy again since last night, was the same in the morning.
Fortunately, it didn’t rain until we got to school, but the visuals didn’t look strange no matter when it rained.
Things that looked thicker than the dark clouds I had seen on Jeju Island were spread out in the sky.
Still, I didn’t let those things sway my mind.
I didn’t want to make any mistakes with Seung-gi today.
Now, it was time to properly apologize and go back to being close friends.
However, even when the morning assembly was over, Seunggi did not go to school.
Even when the first period started or when the first period came to an end, they did not appear.
Cheon Se-jun asked me about Seung-gi, but I didn’t know anything either.
And then, when half of the break time for the first period had passed. Finally, Seunggi appeared in the classroom.
Something seemed very strange.
Unlike usual, he had a rather groggy figure and a tired figure.
I didn’t look well yesterday, but I wonder if I got sick.
He looked weak and haggard.
The atmosphere seemed to be about to collapse.
I saw him putting down his bag, and after making up my mind, I opened my mouth.
Either apologize or say hello. First of all, it was a priority to be able to speak well.
“That… It’s Seunggi.”
“…Hold on… Let’s talk later…”
By the way, after Seung-gi refused to talk like that, he went through his bag, took out a home communication, and left the classroom.
I was worried and sorry.
I was worried about a helpless figure I had never seen before.
The fact that I always did strange things, and even accumulated mental fatigue from Seung-gi, who was already having a hard time. I’m so sorry.
Seung-gi, who entered the classroom after the second period started, couldn’t overcome the fatigue and fell asleep.
He never got a chance to talk.
3.
How much do I sleep now?
Seeing that my back was sore and my mind was hazy, I must have slept quite a bit.
I woke up, but I decided to lie down a little longer.
Yesterday my illness got worse, and it was difficult to sleep.
I didn’t even want to move my body right now, probably because the fatigue had piled up endlessly.
I was really tired.
I didn’t even carry out the plan to clear the drainage ditches near the house, so I said it all.
The weather is bad today, so please get out of the way for a day.
I could feel the presence of a person next to me.
It must be Min Ah-rin.
She felt sorry for her.
Tobacco… Because of getting caught, I had quite a lot of worries about this and that. It was separate from that now.
Min Ah-rin seemed to want to talk to me.
I think it’s been a while since we properly talked. Probably, I remember that it was like this ever since the shower incident.
I didn’t put a lot of meaning into it, but even after that I was sick or caught smoking. Incidents that would make things awkward between them continued to overlap.
It must have been because of that that Min Ah-rin tried to talk.
I didn’t even fight, but I can’t go on like this forever.
Actually, it would have been a good choice for me to speak first, but…… , Because of the condition.
I couldn’t possibly have a conversation right now.
I don’t know if the words will come out properly, and my head is completely blank.
How much time has passed like that?
I started to hear strange noises in my ears.
No, it seems to have been heard like white noise from earlier.
I must have heard this sound ever since I woke up.
It was the distinct sound of rain.
It was a strange and unfamiliar sound of rain.
I felt uneasy and looked up.
I was tired, and the fact that I could hear the sound of rain itself was not good.
As I averted my eyes like that, I was able to figure out why I heard this strange sound through the window right next to me.
In my eyes, Min Ah-rin, who was looking at me, came in, and then the raindrops outside the window came in.
It was too thick, too many.
Heavy rain was falling for the first time in my life.