106. Cohabitation (4)
1.
I thought I must be sick.
After experiencing that crazy situation just a while ago, lying on the bed like this started to make my mind go crazy again.
Somewhere in a daze, the feeling of sinking into the bed.
My eyes closed on their own, probably because I was so tired.
Even in the midst of that, the sensation from just before remained clear.
What the hell did I do to high school students?
Of course, I thought I would live like a high school student from now on, but even so, is it right to make a woman do that?
I didn’t force you to do anything bad, but….
Since it is a reverse world, the standard may be a little different….
Still.
No, I don’t know anymore.
A sense of shame is also a sense of shame, but I can’t forget the excitement at that time.
A cold hand wrapped around it, thin fingers.
I couldn’t understand what he was thinking.
Maybe it’s fortunate that I’m tired right now.
Because it’s obvious that if I was sober, I wouldn’t have slept and just thought about it.
It is the first time in my life for a woman to hold that place, so the shock was not normal.
I thought I was a person with no libido, did I just endure it?
… ….
I don’t know.
Isn’t that right?
It’s not even important now.
Anyway. After going through today’s events, I felt like something between us was gone.
My attitude toward Min Ah-rin was also different from before.
A feeling as if a certain line in my heart had disappeared that even Min Ah-rin, who was closest to me, could not overcome.
Feeling like a line opened that even her best friend wouldn’t allow.
It’s hard to say exactly what, but I’ve never felt this comfortable with anyone before.
Min Ah-rin’s attitude was also somewhat different.
Unlike usual, she doesn’t feel intimidated, doesn’t get caught up in my actions, and pushes things the way she wants.
In the beginning, there may have been the power of the right to wish, but this change will not be only because of that.
Min Ah-rin I don’t know what kind of change of heart she had because I don’t have the power or ability to judge her own feelings.
Anyway, I think something has changed.
I yawned at that thought, then closed my eyes again.
One thing is for sure, I am comfortable and happy right now.
2.
The shower wasn’t easy.
It was difficult to wipe off the sticky things I spilled while taking a shower with Seung-gi, but it was even more difficult because the scars I hadn’t felt before were stinging.
I predicted there wouldn’t be any major scars, but the scars from the garbage washed away in the water were more painful than I expected.
Anyway, after taking a shower, I had to feel hopeless again.
Come to think of it, since I helped Seung-gi take a shower earlier, I’ve been walking around wearing only my underwear. I left my clothes and underwear in the room and left.
I couldn’t even wear the things I had worn before.
It was the underwear that had fallen into the dirty water, and the panties in particular were in even more dire condition….
I was thinking about various things… , Walked near the door with no clothes on.
“Seung-gi…?”
I opened the door very slightly and called my name, but there was no answer.
After trying one or two more times, I checked the room with only my head sticking out, and Seung-gi was lying quietly, as if he had already fallen asleep.
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It was fortunate.
I just need to go in quietly in this gap and quickly pack my clothes and come out.
I had to check the condition of Seung-gi, and if the blanket was disheveled, I had to cover it again… , You can’t do that naked.
“I’ll just pack my clothes…”
I wanted to be sure, so I talked to Seung-gi, who was already sleeping, and walked into the room.
It is quite dark inside, even though the lights are turned off and the blackout curtains are drawn. Maybe it’s because of the weather.
I looked down at Seung-gi lying on the bed as I walked toward the closet.
A sleepy look with a comfortable expression.
Considering the sound of the rain, which is much stronger than before, I can say with confidence that bringing Seung-gi home was the best choice.
My plan was to get dressed and leave as soon as possible, but I decided to see his face a little longer.
Before, we were making embarrassing expressions on each other, but seeing them lying down like this now was new again.
Seunggi must have been talking in his sleep, and he was asleep with the part covering his legs aside.
A guy who usually sleeps without much movement is cute because he looks like this.
Originally, I was going to wear clothes to make the futon…. To be honest, if you sleep this deeply, you won’t wake up. It takes time again to change clothes, and leaving it out in the cold like this.
After thinking that, I leaned over and grabbed the blanket.
I turned my head to the side and met eyes with Seung-gi, who was looking at me.
“Uh…”
“…….”
“Seung-gi, this is not something you misunderstand…”
But before I could finish my words, a smile escaped Seunggi’s mouth.
“Is it Seunggi?”
“It’s not like we’re misunderstanding something like that…?”
“Ugh, huh?”
“Hurry up and get dressed. It rained a lot, so you’ll catch a cold.”
“Ah…, Yes…”
The face of Seung-gi who said that was also stained red.
It was dark, but that much could be seen even in dim light.
I changed my clothes after covering the blanket properly again. I sat on the warm floor next to the bed and looked at him. Seung-gi’s eyes met again.
By the way… , I’m not going to misunderstand something like that.
Then what should we define?
No matter how you look at it, they weren’t friends, and since they were lovers, there was no such thing as a confession.
More than that. Does Seung-gi like me?
It’s definitely not something that you simply consider as a friend. It definitely didn’t feel like that between us.
The actions between us didn’t feel that way either.
Even if I said yes to helping a man take a shower, if we were just normal friends, Seunggi would have put on an expression of shame and displeasure.
No, what is that expression? If it was a normal relationship, I would have expressed my bad mood with everything, starting with a sigh.
No matter what it was, at least I wouldn’t feel joy, pleasure, or even excitement in that situation like Seung-gi did earlier.
It was too s*xual to even call it a shower.
In that situation, we were all feeling excited.
I was happy and full of heart. Victory would have been the same. Just looking at it, it looked like that.
I wonder if Seunggi likes me?
Maybe we have feelings for each other?
Of course, there were other thoughts that came to me whenever I thought about that.
If you had such a mind for no reason and confessed, if you made an irreversible choice with groundless conviction.
If there is such an unfortunate conclusion. I feel like I can’t stand it.
However, today we have taken it one step further.
I had a belief, not a belief, that the other person should confess only when he had feelings for me.
I hated the pain of failure, and I hated the anxiety of breaking up.
As always, it was a mother’s delusion.
By the way… The word came to mind.
It also made no sense that a lover could only come from such a confession.
It was strange that the other person had to like me too.
In the old days, there were quite a few cases of confessing to someone who didn’t have a crush, and today’s confession is said to be a little different from that.
If the other person has a coy heart towards you, isn’t confession a good choice?
Still…. I think Seung-gi has enough of a soft heart for me….
I’m not sure what I like because of my anxiety, but I think I have a little heart….
… ….
Once. First of all, today is not the time to think about confession or anything.
It is not the time to think of this kind of heart.
I got up after telling Seung-gi that I would bring a wet towel.
It’s not too late to do that after the victory has improved.
3.
What I suddenly felt today is that my feelings for Min Ah-rin are very serious.
I suddenly feel s*xual desire, I lean on others, and laugh like an idiot.
When I was sick, I thought that Min Ah-rin was by my side, so I didn’t feel the hardships.
Thank you and I was happy.
I’ve never been nursed by anyone in my life, but I don’t feel that way simply because she takes care of me.
If I had been a nurse for someone other than Min Ah-rin, I don’t think I would have had much of a heart.
In my life, I’ve never thought of wanting to completely rely on someone, or being able to completely trust and lean on someone. It was different with Min Ah-rin.
The house is now gone.
In the past, I would have been looking for a way to get away from Min Ah-rin.
In the old days, I wouldn’t have wanted to lean on someone I liked, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be a nuisance.
Breaking out in poverty and leaning on shattered pride, I must have thought that Min Ah-rin was someone I didn’t get along with.
But now it’s money. You don’t even care about that, do you?
Didn’t you just feel the pleasure of being with her and wish that this time would last?
It hasn’t been long since I realized my feelings for Min Ah-rin, but people have changed a lot.
The word confession came and went in my head.
I didn’t mean to confess right away or later.
Just. That word lingered in my head.
My mind was strange.