87. School trip (5)
1.
I thought it was time to accept it.
Still, I wanted to postpone the conclusion as much as possible.
Now, people around me are urging me to come to a conclusion quickly.
To be honest, I was noticing it to some extent.
If you ask me since when did you notice…… I don’t know exactly.
It could have been during a stressful period, or it could have been before or after.
Well, that doesn’t mean I realized exactly that I like Min Arin. I felt that her feelings for her were close to her love.
I, who don’t feel much fun in life, always had fun when I was with Min Ah-rin.
I didn’t have much affection for her school, but there were times when her weekends were boring, and there were times when I wanted to go to school and chat with her.
Mina Lin wasn’t very smart about her, but she found her clumsy consideration fun, and I was grateful that she thought of me as much as she did.
At some point, I thought that he was cute all the time.
I’ve always thought that although her appearance is bloody, she is definitely pretty. Looking cute no matter what you do and feeling positive no matter what you do is a slightly different story.
There are many other things to say, but there is only one conclusion.
The feelings I have for Min Ah-rin are not the feelings I would ever have for her friend.
Like I just said, it’s a feeling a little closer to love than being her friend.
I have a bit of an idiot in my personality, but I have the ability to understand my emotions.
Of course, until this morning, I was denying all of that fact.
No, rather than denying it, it would be more accurate to say that I pretended not to know. My thoughts were a bit ambiguous to pretend to know.
Those things were probably influenced by my personality.
It must have been the influence of his family circumstances, and it must have been the influence of his thoughts accumulated over the past 26 years.
Because it wasn’t very pleasant for me to realize that feeling.
When living a poor life, problems in real life are surprisingly not difficult. It is, of course, a comparative problem.
Anyway, I don’t know anyone nearby, so I’ll explain it with my life…….
The most difficult thing in living this kind of life was the problem in human relationships.
Can you make friends or not? My friend is leaving. There are problems of this level, but what I want to talk about is a little deeper.
I wasn’t a person who put a lot of importance on making friends, but at least I was a person who had a lot of affection for those I already became friends with, especially those I was close to.
I always wanted to maintain a good relationship with my close friends, and I also had the thought of wanting to do something more.
I also wanted to make my friends happy with my abilities.
It was a very simple mindset.
It was also a mindset that anyone could have.
It was not a desire for great luxury, nor was it a physical desire to eat a side dish of meat.
Isn’t that a very basic idea that social animals have?
By the way, poverty has a character that does not allow even such simple things.
I couldn’t go somewhere with my friends.
I also had to study. Even if I didn’t study, I couldn’t choose a destination comfortably like those friends.
At that time, I was obsessed with my friends’ wealth, and my friends also didn’t see it as such a big deal.
But that’s only once or twice.
The direct reason I became distant from my friends was about the existence of my parents, which I didn’t normally tell about…….
For me, who always makes me open someone’s wallet, good looks didn’t come from a certain moment.
I wasn’t comfortable with myself.
That said, I couldn’t match my friends’ standards to me.
It wasn’t a very good thing to tell people living ordinary or above lives to play by poor man’s standards.
Also, I also wanted to give something away.
I wanted to treat myself at least once in my life, and on my friend’s birthday, I wanted to give her a proper present.
I wanted to convey something distinct, rather than saying thank you all the time.
I didn’t get anything right.
If there was something like that, they wouldn’t have left.
I also wanted to treat my precious people with respect.
I would have been able to satisfy that desire if I had a family, but that wasn’t the case either.
Anyway, that’s how my unique obsession with money grew. My interest in the opposite s*x had faded just like that.
What kind of girlfriend is a guy who can’t handle even a single friendship properly? It’s obvious that the sense of bewilderment will only increase anyway.
It can be said that Min Ah-rin was a very unusual case.
She got into me more deeply than I thought, and her heart tended to loosen up a bit with her.
The reason…… Well. It’s not convincing to just say that.
If I had to find the reason, it might have been because I was under extreme stress after falling into the reverse world.
Because the first year before entering high school was pretty terrible.
Well, that’s not that important.
She had long been accustomed to treating her as her friend.
Having a crush on her was a different story.
I didn’t have the confidence to be nice to the person I like.
The date would be a mess, and there would be no satisfying event. I want to do it, but the situation is like this.
It was a luxury to chat at a cafe, and I hated playing according to my financial situation. I didn’t want to bring someone I liked into a poor man’s world.
It was for that reason that I kept pretending not to know this feeling.
I wouldn’t be able to handle it even if I went out with a normal person, so hanging out with such an upper class?
Say something that makes sense.
If you’re next to a guy who’s tired of this kind of depression, you’re bound to get gloomy together. It is only natural that there is no joy around a guy who always talks about money.
I didn’t want to make Min Ah-rin like that.
It must have been her subconscious thought, but I didn’t want to let her into my life anyway.
A friend is enough. In fact, friends are too much.
Just. It’s going to fall off next year anyway, so it’s stuck like this.
I responded moderately to the stares of the men gathered around me.
Did you ask if anyone was interested?
Why not? The body is 17 years old, and the mental age is in the mid-20s.
“I can’t think of anyone in particular…”
I didn’t believe it at all.
In the first place, the question itself must have been asked with the correct answer already decided.
A rough angle comes out.
“That… Is Arin…?”
From noble mtl dot com
“What about Arin… She’s just a friend.”
Hearing that answer, they just laughed.
I wish I could finish it in moderation, but I wonder if I’m going to hear the answer within today.
If you do something wrong, there will be a fight.
But in the middle of that, my cell phone rang.
It was a notification that went off in the midst of silence, so everyone seemed to have heard the vibration.
I immediately checked my phone.
I was talking to everyone, but I wanted to escape a bit.
And.
… ….
What is this?
Min Ah-rin: Seung ㅇㅇㅇㅇ
Min Arin: I’m late right now at Jungwoo, behind the hotel.
Min Ah-rin: Where are the breasts??,,)
That sounds like the garden behind the hotel. I guess I’m asking where did that go?
… ….
These crazy high school boys. No, high schoolers. Where else do young people get alcohol to make a child drunk?
How did Min Ah-rin end up there? Teachers must be managing it.
When I saw the KakaoTalk message, I sighed and stood up.
The guys who had been focusing on me all along seemed taken aback by my sudden action.
“I’ll go out for a while. If someone comes in…, Please give me an appropriate answer.”
“Huh? Where? The teachers must be in the hallway?”
“It’s just… personal.”
You can’t even say you’re picking up drunk kids.
So I came out into the hallway of the hotel and walked to the elevator.
The teacher who was spending time nearby seemed to have faith in me and just let me go.
Anyway. It’s a bit awkward going to see Min Ah-rin because I’ve been thinking only of gloomy thoughts.
… ….
I can’t just leave that alone.
2.
I am happy. Fun.
That sky seems to be like that too.
Aren’t they spinning around and looking at me like that?
Hmm……. It is perfect.
You can almost call it Min Ah-rin, a literary girl.
Alcohol was surprisingly fun.
My friends were not originally assigned to the same room, but we were able to get together in one room because we switched the number of people in each room appropriately.
One of the friends brought soju in a 1.5L plastic bottle that had cider in it…….
Those weak b*tches collapsed in an instant, and out of curiosity, I drank all the remaining soju.
Then, the day seemed too hot, so I went outside for a short walk, taking advantage of the teacher’s absence.
After looking around the garden for a while, my head was so dizzy that I lay down on a bench for a while, and after that…….
I can’t remember what I did.
Still. According to the calculations of my super-brain, I must have fallen asleep there.
It is a well-known fact that there is no memory of the moment you fall asleep.
Everybody knows that the sky doesn’t spin around like that.
Since a while ago, I’ve been repeating my moods of being happy and then feeling sad, and the ups and downs of these strange emotions are very suspicious.
Wow.
Are you really a genius?
Perfect reasoning ability. There was no room for objection.
This is true. It’s my first time having a lucid dream again.
Oh, and I’ve heard that before.
Dreams are the manifestation of one’s unconscious, so it is said that the desires that one usually had often appear.
I was able to prove this right away.
Since I was lying on the bench, Seung-gi appeared in front of me.
It’s so sudden because it’s a dream.
Why is Seunggi suddenly popping out?
“No… how much alcohol did you drink?”
“Wow… This is so amazing.”
I got up and sat down on the bench, and pressed my finger on the cheek of Seung-gi, who was looking at me.
The texture is so realistic, but what Seunggi says is nonsensical, so it’s amazing.
How do you know I’ve been drinking? It’s a dream, so it must be like that.
I put my hand down and took Seung-gi’s hand.
As I touched Seung-gi’s hand with both hands, I grabbed the long fingers and the soft palm.
It was something I would never have dared to do in real life, but in the end, this is only the truth that only I know.
Doesn’t everything disappear when you wake up from a dream?
When I looked up, I saw Seung-gi with a complicated expression on his face.
Seunggi makes a lot of facial expressions, but whenever I see him, I just think he’s cute.
How could someone be so handsome? Why is your body so good? Why is your personality so cute?
I took Seung-gi’s hand and sniffed it.
The scent of shampoo and soap came through my nose.
It was the first scent I had ever smelled, but I thought it might be so, and I started fiddling with it again.
Should I restrain myself a little?
I have heard that when you have a dirty dream, you wake up if you get too excited.
I’m already feeling a certain level of excitement, and if I go out too fast, I think I’ll wake up in an instant.
… ….
I don’t know. My head doesn’t seem to be turning well either.
Isn’t it just a matter of enjoying this moment?
I put Seung-gi’s hand on my cheek.
It’s a dream you’ll wake up from soon anyway. You should enjoy it when you are dreaming.