#8
Rubia cannot gossip or gossip about anyone.
Usually, my classmates sit around the desk and quietly listen to the backstory of how bad someone’s boyfriend is, that a girl in the next class keeps coming out, and that they don’t like it.
Empathy was an important part of fostering group bonds and increasing trust among members, but Rubia was never able to participate in gossip.
Rather, if you want to say something too harsh, you smile awkwardly and say, ‘It probably wasn’t meant to be like that… ‘ He also defends the subject of the gossip. Even though it’s someone else who has absolutely nothing to do with you.
I know the feeling of hating people.
Rubia was also a person, and because of that, she hates someone who has done something wrong in her heart.
but… … Even the fragments of that hateful feeling are not taken out of it.
Because if you do, your opponent will get hurt.
It was in that context that I did not participate in gossip. If their conversation spreads from somewhere and even gets heard by the subject, that person may be seriously hurt.
Rubia’s nature was like that.
It has unshakable innocence, but that’s why it is so vulnerable to the weakness of the human heart.
I hate being hurt.
I hate hurting anyone even more.
Because of this, no matter how hateful he is, Rubia can’t even say a word of cursing towards him.
Even though he was really angry, even the word ‘bad guy’ was a harsh insult that was nothing more than a curse to Rubia.
“… … you. You were Ezio’s junior, weren’t you?”
therefore.
Rubia hates Mew.
I hate it, but I can’t make tea.
Shaking her knees, she sits helplessly on the bench, and mutters to Mew, who looks down at her with a dry face with tears in her eyes.
“I did hear about it. There is a huge swordsmanship genius among the freshmen… Also, when I graduated, I heard the news that I was graduating early.”
“… … ”
“… … I know you and Ezio were friendly. Ezio’s news… I hear it sometimes. For being friendly with Ezio instead of me… … I thought a lot about thank you.”
Mew didn’t want to talk to Rubia. But I was listening. At that point, he quietly whispers to him, quieting his shallow anger.
… … What are you thankful for Ezio-senpai and think of Margo instead? On the subject of kicking a senior. As if nothing could be helped, as if the situation was difficult, being swept around like that, naturally estranged from seniors… …
Meanwhile, Rubia gently strokes her pale pink hair, which has fallen gently on her white thighs, with her hands.
“… I don’t blame you for not telling Ezio’s whereabouts back then. Maybe you haven’t been able to find it either. Because Ezio didn’t want us to find him… … ”
“… … ”
Come visit yourself, who was preparing to leave the dormitory.
I remember Rubia’s shady face, who took a deep breath and asked where Ezio-senpai was.
That was the first and last conversation between Rubia and Mew.
“But today, I finally… It was nice to see Ezio again. I was so happy that I cried, but… … I still haven’t properly apologized to Ezio. If I could be forgiven, I would.”
It was the same with Mu.
But Ezio-senpai didn’t seem to want to forgive them.
It’s not because the fire in my heart doesn’t go out.
It was too late for that.
By now, the meaning of the act of forgiveness has already been lost. The changed Ezio-senpai didn’t seem to want anything from them.
that’s the most… … It was sad.
Mu asks Rubia.
“senior… What if Ezio doesn’t want forgiveness?”
“… … Still, I have to apologize. Ezio must have been the most precious friend to me… I hurt a friend like that the most.”
This was also the case with Mu. Mu gave too much pain to the senior he loved more than anyone else. He made abhorrently selfish words and actions, and mistakes that were never undone.
The more he recognizes that fact, the more he realizes that Mu himself has no right to hate Rubia.
But I can’t help but hate it.
When you see with your own eyes the way the person you love has fallen so horribly, you will resent all the causes that made your seniors that way.
Mew opens her mouth softly.
“… … Why did you reject Ezio in the first place?”
“… … ? What is that, ah… ”
Rubia realizes what Mew asked.
He answered blankly with a slightly lost gaze.
“… … Ezio told you that too. ugh, what Of course… ”
Mu felt a little plasticity. Aside from that, my senior told me a lot about Rubia.
Tap the tip of the scabbard and open your mouth.
“What about Ezio you didn’t like, so you turned it down? When we were young, the two of us were very happy. He said that he enjoyed being with Ezio the most. … … But why did he say that Ezio and Ezio couldn’t develop into a lover even though he was happy just to be with him because he lacked something?”
“… … ”
at that point.
Rubia felt like her chest was pounding.
In a still gloomy situation, it wasn’t enough to touch his own painful wounds, and he didn’t like Mew, who must have been only Ezio’s close friend, asking Ezio and his own deep feelings as if they were shooting at him.
If it had been a regular Rubia, it would have ended here.
It was very difficult for Rubia, who had a round nature, to have an upright attitude.
But, why?
For this junior… Am I saying something a little disliked?
“… … What are you, Ezio?”
“under?”
Rubia’s hand, which was tying her hair, stopped suddenly.
weird. One side of her chest was strangely hot.
It’s an unfamiliar feeling.
However, Rubia didn’t want to hide her feelings deep in her heart again, as she had always done.
Somehow… … It seemed that this frustration would be resolved if I had to say what I wanted to say to Mew.
Whoops.
Rubia, who had her head bowed like a criminal, slowly raised her head.
Before long, he asks Mew with an extremely subtly annoyed face that no one but Ezio would notice.
“Weren’t we just close friends? As far as I know, he used to be very close with Ezio… … Are you closer than Ezio and I? No. Are we even going to ask about that sort of thing, are we?”
“… … ”
Mu was in a state of a little startled.
… … Are you angry right now? this sister?
In the words of the senior, he was a person who knew how to sit and cry, but did not know how to make others cry.
Mu, who had stalked Rubia for a few days out of curiosity, had no choice but to agree with that statement.
Because of that, she is objectively kind and pretty.
I was thinking about that.
It seemed that the evaluation had to be revised a little.
… … Oh, yes.
It was like that.
Mew soon draws a thin smile in her mind.
This sister doesn’t know.
The fact that he was dating Ezio-senpai.
“ex-girlfriend.”
“… … What?”
“It’s my girlfriend. I dated Ezio.”
next moment.
Mew saw Rubia’s eyes, which had just had a sharp anticipation, gradually lose their light.
“… … ”
The word ex-girlfriend would never mean a good thing for Mew… …
For some reason, I felt refreshed now.
“I’m… girl friend… … ?”
Rubia looks away from Mew. It took about thirty seconds or so to accept Mew’s words. The water in the emerald-colored pond in Rubia’s eyes, which had lost direction and began to shake, quickly dried up.
“Ha, but… Those words to me, Ezio… never did… … ”
“What-? Why does Ezio have to talk to him?”
“… … ”
“Should I go to my childhood friend who dumped me and say that I have a girlfriend? So when I hear congratulations, is it just the end? No. Would Ezio have been more miserable? If you say that you have a girlfriend and just say congratulations without any emotion… … ”
“… … I don’t have feelings, I… … ?”
Rubia was confused.
If it had been, my head would not have been shaking like this after hearing Mew’s shocking remarks now. It seemed as if the world had vibrated loudly a couple of times. The strange heat that had risen in my heart until recently cooled down in an instant.
Instead, a new fire broke out.
“… … I know. That I have no qualifications. Because I rejected Ezio like that. … … I’m still here, but just because I kicked it, I started liking other people… I can’t say anything about dating you… … ”
“If you know—”
“That’s right, Ezio… girlfriend… yes. I dated you… … certainly… would you have been happy Neither you nor Ezio are bad children… … ”
Mew looked down at Rubia with cold eyes.
I was happy
… If it wasn’t for you, I might have been happy all the time.
Rubia mumbled with a helpless smile.
“… … Ahaha, I’m so selfish… I knew I was close with Ezio, but… Speaking of dating, I guess you know a lot of Ezio that I didn’t know… … It doesn’t feel so good… … ”
“… … ”
“… … Since when?”
Mu replied without hesitation.
“December 23 of the previous year.”
“… … ”
Rubia realizes that Mew’s words are not a lie. At the same time, even the precious feeling that Mew is very special to Ezio is clearly felt.
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December 23rd.
What did Rubia do that day?
I can’t remember because it was last winter, but something… …
oh
… … That was then.
Rubia’s heart is getting more and more painful.
“Isn’t this enough to qualify me to ask? … … I mean, anyone who’s been watching Ezio for a really long time can’t help but love Ezio. Not as a friend, but as a member of the opposite s*x.”
“… … ”
Mew liked everything about Ezio.
Because I really liked him, I loved everything about him.
Ezio and the male protagonist of the romance novel that Mew usually reads were completely opposite types.
Nevertheless, Mew passionately loved Ezio.
more than anyone else in the world.
“… … ”
Rubia was feeling several emotions at once.
The inside of my chest was stuffy, I felt like crying, I felt longing, and I felt a stinging sense of self-blame.
An indescribable kind of tingling filled my throat, and even if I wanted to vomit it, I had to hold back and swallow it.
“… … You like Ezio… No, did you love me?”
“It is still the same. I am not qualified.”
“… … I see.”
Rubia suddenly felt envious of Mew.
It seems that he is in love with Ezio. Love is a formless heart, so it should be invisible, but you can feel that Mu truly loves Ezio from your words and actions.
What Rubia didn’t have, Mew had.
I’m not talking about love for Ezio.
It was the heart of loving someone.
“… … Actually, I still don’t know.”
Rubia slowly opens her mouth as if confessing her sins under the auspicious statue.
“Until now, I thought that love was an extension of happiness. But when I think of being in love with someone I like, I just… … I was just afraid.”
Rubia was born and raised in the countryside. That’s why I was able to stay untouched, and that’s why I was so full of fear of the unfamiliar.
“It was the same reason that I turned down Ezio in my freshman year. Because Ezio was like my precious family… … I think I was a little shocked that they thought of me as a woman. therefore… … I was scared. To have a deeper relationship with Ezio. The difference between us in an instant… … ”
It’s scary to hurt
It’s scary to get hurt.
The deeper the relationship between people, the deeper the wounds they inflict on each other.
Just as there is a difference between someone you don’t know insulting you and someone you trust insulting you.
The future like that was terrifying.
But now I know.
That fear was really nothing.
“But now… … I’m more afraid of losing Ezio.”
I still remember
After a week of absence.
Ezio had suddenly dropped out of the academy right before graduation, and then disappeared somewhere without even emptying the luggage in the room he was living in.
When I was working in the same academy, I could feel Ezio’s presence even from afar.
After he disappeared from Rubia’s sight, and… … After realizing all the truth.
Rubia was engulfed in a frenzied anxiety for a while and was unable to die.
Are you living well?
What should I say when I find him?
What kind of apology should I say?
I’m not sure about anything… …
It was a really tough day.
However, now.
Today is the day I reunited with Ezio in Frontier.
Rubia may be the same as before… … I was finally able to smile comfortably.
I grabbed my hand with a slightly sharp bone joint and stretched it out again.
Rubia thinks quietly.
“… … ”
Three years have passed since Ezio’s first confession.
In the meantime, Rubia has met a lot of people and experienced a lot, and gradually matured mentally. This allowed for a more in-depth study.
When she was still in the same room with her male seniors at the academy or her male classmates, Rubia sometimes had a negative impression on the feeling of love.
From Rubia’s point of view.
their wriggling desires.
Their one-sided love… It was just scary.
The comfort and happiness of the feelings of love that he knew were nowhere to be found, and vague fear and discomfort took its place.
… … Rubia liked everyone, but that was all.
No matter how many people of the opposite s*x loved Rubia, for some reason Rubia couldn’t answer her heart.
For Rubia, there was only one person who could be a comfortable haven, except for blood and blood.
But it was he who had hurt him the most.
It was someone else, not himself, who healed that person’s wounds. In the end, the two may have developed a relationship that was deeper than they were.
How much less would Rubia have lost that person.
forever.
It was also his fault.
And, he gave his life for himself.
… … All of these things put together, and Rubia couldn’t figure out the identity of the complexity that is now swirling in her mind.
I am really happy and happy to meet Ezio who has come back alive again, but it was also very sad.
Thinking that I had a closer relationship with someone while I was away from myself, a part of my heart ached a little.
I was wondering why
… … thinking about it.
Ezio was always by his side.
Except for himself, Ezio was always alone.
There was no one of reason.
“… … ”
Rubia realizes that fact blankly.
When I was attending Lawrsen Academy.
There is one senior I was close with.
One day, I heard that the senior had an ex-girlfriend.
I hadn’t thought of anything.
But, now.
The moment he learned that Ezio had a lover named Mew.
… … what.
My heart throbbed.
“… … ah?”
Just as Rubia is about to become aware of something vague in her mind, Mew opens her mouth with an exhilarating voice.
“You mean you rejected Ezio just that much? It’s a reason I’ll never understand.”
“… … ”
“Ezio worked really hard after kicking you. to change I’ve been watching it from the side. Ever since Ezio didn’t know me. After trying so hard, what now… A lot has changed. … … How do you feel about the new Ezio? Do you think you can love a little bit now?”
“… … ”
“Of course, trying to love Ezio only now is useless. Ezio, already both of us. Because no one deserves to like it. What are you going to do now——”
That was then.
“Well, one thing I know for sure.”
“… … !”
“… … !”
Wherever he appeared, Elena, who had her arms crossed between Rubia and Mew, nodded her head and grinned.
“For now, I know that Ezio is a sinful bastard. It’s youth, it’s youth It’s nice to play with fresh love… … If you don’t go now, the banquet will be over? As far as I know, this goes into evaluation. Do you want to forget your attendance score from the first day of admission? ok?”
“Eh, Elena-senpai… Why are you here?”
Taking a slight step backwards, Elena wrinkled her face at Mew who asked. It was truly terrifying.
“What ma? Why here-? Can’t I be in my alma mater? And you said it wouldn’t be in the banquet hall, but didn’t you say that it would only be in the banquet hall? The cubs are gone… … Hurry in!”
“Hey-yak!”
“Eh, Elena-senpai… Me, that dress is torn-!”
While talking, Rubia and Mew, who were sitting on the bench, almost dragged along, and Elena smiled strangely as she recalled the dormitory rules that allowed entry into the dormitory of the opposite s*x if consent was obtained.