#5
“… sorry. Did I just disturb you?”
“What is the obstruction? Good timing.”
After Leilin, who became pale, left.
Me and Mew stood still for a moment.
‘… … Really, are you sure you want to talk to me next time?’
‘Yes, if not now, anytime later.’
‘yes… I believe… … See you next time, Ezio.’
I wondered if Raylin would withdraw a little after facing the vicious momentum, but in the end, she fought back without giving in and bravely resisted Mew by saying not to disturb me because she was having an important conversation with me—— I will listen to you later, not now In the end, he shrugged his shoulders and returned to the turrets.
He said he was upset because he didn’t listen to him, but unfortunately he couldn’t pay attention to that. It’s true that you hold onto people you don’t like.
When that shockingly terrifying intimacy was wielded as a weapon, people like me could only feel tired rather than happy… …
“… … ”
“… … ”
Mew and I haven’t talked to each other since we met at the medical center.
Because the last words I had with her were, um, the kind of words that suddenly made the atmosphere awkward.
We were cut off from talking because of that, and we only looked at the fountain in the middle of the park, not each other’s eyes.
Mew’s eyes moistened with moisture in an instant. His eyes, as if drawing a distant place, immediately turned to me. Mew smiled slightly.
“… … I’ll go. Enjoy your meal.”
— evil.
“Wait a minute.”
“… … uh?”
He turned his back and stopped Mew, who was about to walk.
She grabbed her arm and sleeve, and Mew turned around in surprise.
Mew’s face was really pretty, shining in the sunset.
… … At that time, Mew called me first. I had an appointment. In the end, we made an appointment, but it seems that we never met in the cafe.
And Mew said he was at the scene of the incident.
Since the time of occurrence was said to be around 11 pm, almost half a day had passed since the time we had promised.
‘Can I wait here?’
At the stop of District 4 Seria class.
I remember Mew sitting on a bench looking up at me and smiling brightly.
I was purely glad that I had the opportunity to talk to you. He must have waited for me with such a swollen heart.
Even though I knew I wasn’t coming sooner, I stayed in District 4 until 11 pm when the incident occurred.
The wait was well over 13 hours long.
I open my mouth carefully.
“On Saturday… I’m sorry I couldn’t go to the cafe.”
“… … ”
blankly.
Mew looked at my face.
It was as if he had heard something completely unexpected. After standing there for a while with blank eyes, he closed his eyes with a light smile and shook his head slowly.
“I’m sorry. Ezio doesn’t have to do that at all. Rather, it’s something I have to apologize for. Had I known I was in danger, I wouldn’t have stayed there… … ”
“… … ”
Objectively, it was not something that Mew was willing to offer an apology to. However, there was no need for me to apologize to Mew from a completely objective standpoint. All had good reasons. for both of us.
However, the exchange of emotions does not only flow through common sense and reason.
If a person always maintains a sober mind and pursues only the highest efficiency, it is more like a mechanical engineering machine than a person.
We were not living the life of a machine. Even at this moment, I am rationally apologizing for something that I do not need to be sorry for.
Whatever the reason, if you did something wrong. If you unintentionally hurt someone you don’t want to hurt. You come to have a sense of guilt and responsibility that you do not have to have. Just like right now.
broke the flow of silence.
“So that’s it, Mew.”
Mew rolled her eyes slightly.
I said.
“What I couldn’t do then, can I do it today?”
“… … ”
Once again, blankly.
This time it was a little shorter.
I smile softly again.
“… … sorry. Do it later. Today is… I have other work to do.”
“… … I see.”
“… … yes.”
I never thought I would be rejected. Still, I have personal affairs. It’s unavoidable. I nodded my head quietly.
“Then see you later. Let me know when you have time.”
“… yea, I got it. Enjoy your meal.”
Mew didn’t seem to be eating.
because there is work.
… … bruises, bruises.
After a brief greeting, we turned our backs on each other.
I go to the restaurant, and Mew to the dormitory.
So, we each walked a different path.
… … Given that we’re still not good at lying, we’re probably thinking the same thing.
#6
The room was terribly dark.
All the lights in the 3rd grade 1st year gym were turned off. A vast space dyed black because all light is blocked by the blackout.
Blood—
In a corner of the dance hall where even shadowy monsters could naturally be created, a short crackling sound occurred and at the same time a whitish blue afterimage scattered a soft light.
In an instant, the surroundings light up.
The flow of magical energy that used to radiate light as it flowed through the sharp blade ceased.
The gymnasium was again immersed in pitch-black darkness.
Immediately after a certain period of time, hyeok-. A slightly louder noise than just before echoed through the air.
Once again, the surrounding area of the sword shines softly. Then, a simple line of training clothes was revealed.
Only the moment the sword strikes, it contains magical power. It was a kind of training to reduce useless waste of mana.
However, since it was a technique that required very detailed and sophisticated mana sensitivity and a correspondingly high level of concentration, when training this technique, he puts his thoughts into a single sword and falls into selflessness without a single thought.
For Mew, who had been wielding his sword continuously for an hour earlier, this training was more necessary than ever.
He slashed non-existent targets countless times. Training dolls were useless. So, from when on, Mu’s training partner became Mu himself.
I couldn’t even find a decent matchup opponent in the Epic class. Abel Lioner, one of the Imperial Seven Swords (三劍), testified that there was no swordsman who could become Mu’s rival among the freshmen.
At least, it seemed like it would be worthwhile to join the Epic Class 3rd grader with a special talent for swords.
Even he said that he had a high win rate for Mu, so he had no choice but to train by himself right now.
Awesome—— Tak!
At the end of the swinging sword, something touched.
It was the floor of the dance floor.
The blue afterimage soon permeated the air like mist.
A considerable amount of sweat was dripping into the tracksuit Mew was wearing.
When I lowered the zipper near my neck for a moment with the tip of my sword pointed toward the floor, a sultry heat rose.
“… … ha ha.”
I tried to erase the clutter as much as possible.
Eventually it failed.
Close your eyes and brush your bangs. The hair under the ears, which was wet with sweat, was also fixed behind the ears.
Then, after arranging the disturbed breathing for a while, I tried to start training again.
‘I couldn’t talk about it then, can I do it today?’
“… … ”
The heart that had been grasped quickly returned to its original state.
In the end, he let go of the sword.
Mew’s sword fell to the floor with a chirping sound.
Mew, who lowered his posture and sat with his buttocks on the floor of the gym, pulled the zipper that he had loosened slightly all the way down to the end.
The white Nasity, drenched in sweat, shone faintly in the darkness. Due to the nature of Mew, who is good in the heat, it was likely to be unpleasant, but I was already used to it.
In the stillness, Mu thinks quietly.
Actually, there was nothing else.
That’s a lie.
Ezio probably knew that too. As he nodded in agreement, he could see that his inexperienced lie had been exposed.
But Ezio didn’t say anything. So we parted naturally in the middle of the park.
Mew didn’t mean he didn’t want to talk to Ezio. If it were, I wouldn’t have spoken to you first at the Seria class stop on Saturday in the first place.
So, for Mew, it was like a golden opportunity he had been longing for, but in the end he ran away to this place until he refused with a lie.
I wanted to talk to him.
couldn’t
… … No way, I didn’t have the courage.
The resolutions I’ve had in my heart since that day on November 19th last year, collapsed like a sandcastle in front of a huge fear that I couldn’t resist.
I think of myself as being terrifying. Wasn’t your decision just that much? He was a pathetic and weak human being.
… … But, what about the scary thing?
Ezio lost his memory. It was clear that he had lost all the memories that made him sick, including November 19th.
He had seriously asked if we had broken up, so he must have forgotten all the contents of the letter he had sent to him.
okay.
No matter what happened after school, Ezio Cranil stayed in the time when he was in love with Mew.
… … Good thing, I thought it wasn’t.
Not at all, not at all.
Rather, it was closer to a curse.
A terrible curse in which the Haeju method has been lost forever.
When Ezio, who had woken up in the hospital room, patted the back of his hand in a familiar tone one day, he couldn’t stand it for a moment, and his throat choked with tears. Tears flowed naturally.
The image of the senior I loved, which I thought I would never see in the future, was seen in the changed face of the senior.
I felt so guilty.
My heart was pounding like it was going to break.
The painful fact that he was able to smile brightly at himself only after he had forgotten all those painful memories was so sinful and sad.
It was nice that the senior smiled at me. I was happy to be stroking the back of my hand. A thrill that I thought I would never feel again pounded my heart that had stopped.
It would be a lie if I said I didn’t see hope.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy at all.
With the overwhelming feeling that my senior remembers me as the mew of that time, I cried and laughed as I wanted.
but… …
It was a fantasy that had to be broken.
The more you fall into the hallucinations of sweet dreams, the more the sense of loss and emptiness that will come upon waking up from the dream doubles.
So, Mew did not act hastily.
Even if he wanted to jump into Ezio’s arms with a smile on the face of everything that happened, that would never have happened.
One day, Ezio will learn the truth again. When that time came, it would become even more irreversible… …
So it was.
A future where Ezio realizes the truth.
… I was so afraid.
When I talked to Ezio, I had to tell him.
everything.
The inside story of everything Mu himself knows… … I had to say everything without making a single mistake.
can it still be Can I just say it like this? If I do that, will Ezio forgive me?
I never asked for forgiveness before. I just wanted to apologize more.
Because I left an indelible wound on my beloved senior. By what qualification are you seeking forgiveness? It was such a feeling.
Today’s Ezio… … I do not know.
You can’t predict what the reaction will be.
That was also scary.
However, after all, even if Ezio said that he would forgive himself for divulging all the truth, it was only a false forgiveness.
Now, even if I said a sincere apology to him, it meant nothing.
He must ask for forgiveness, but the object for which he asks for forgiveness has vanished in vain.
In the end, all that was left was an illusion.
is in a bad state Mew twisted his lips.
I don’t think I deserve to love Ezio at all. It has been a constant thought since that day.
But just like before, when I saw another woman standing next to Ezio, my hands still trembled slightly and my heart was suffocating, but I hated and hated myself for not being able to do anything.
If it hadn’t seemed like Ezio was really in trouble then, he wouldn’t have even found a way to intervene.
In other words, there was no room for him to intervene in the relationship that Ezio really wanted. Now I have nothing to offer… … Because we just became classmates.
Mew bit her lips at the stinging sensation that stabbed her dry heart. A small drop of blood formed on his lower lip.
… … I thought I had forgotten all the sadness and joy. No way. Looking at Ezio still brings a smile from the corner of my heart. After reuniting with Ezio, Mew was only able to regain his original self.
The gaze of Ezio, who has lost his memory, looking at me. Warm eyes mixed with kindness and pity rather than hostility and indifference. It was so addicting that I couldn’t resist.
The feeling of love that he longed for more because he had once suffered a loss, no, now, gave him greed.
He was careless, selfish, and that’s why he ended up hurting his seniors, but honestly… I wanted to get along with him again.
This is unavoidable.
In a situation that I thought was full of despair and sorrow, even a glitch of hope could arise, so I had no choice but to pay attention to it.
Even if they are only dreams and vain delusions that will one day disappear like a mirage, but before that, at least once with Ezio———
Mew sneered at himself with his head lowered.
… … It’s foolish, and it’s always like an asshole. There seemed to be no other person in the world as selfish as him.
Even if you really do that?
do you think it will be really?
If you really think that way, you’d better go out and die. I’m going to cut my throat right here with a knife. disgusting year. rubbish year.
Think of Ezio’s broken eyes looking at you. Think of a relationship that has become difficult to treat even as a simple friend.
Who do you think is to blame? It’s all your karma, mu… …
He bit his lips harder. The fishy blood moistened his tongue.
In a disgusting and selfish state of deceiving Ezio, if Ezio regains his memory at any time, he will return to that state again.
The warmth that permeated into his eyes disappears, leaving only the coolness that is dry and dry like winter frost.
And deep inside, a strange heat will rise. Predictably, it was probably the emotion of anger.
Thinking of deceiving Ezio… … He did not take it seriously, and it was no different than an inviolable area that should not be done.
The horse is sometimes the heaviest, coldest, and strongest blade of any sharp weapon.
It is forever locked in the memory and mind of a person other than the body and is never pulled out.
He twisted and thrust such a terrible weapon into the senior he loved more than anyone else over and over again.
Really, it was clear that it was something that should not be done since he was born as a human.
Then mu himself.
Could it be a non-human monster?
“… … ”
Mew, who was fed up with absurd thoughts, rummaged through his arms. I took something out and held it in my hand. Then he stretched out his palms and looked down at what was placed on them in the dark.
Two silver rings in the shape of a small circle shimmered in detail, finely crafted from fine silver mixed with copper.
Over time, it rusted a little. It was a small flaw that was barely noticeable even from a close look, but Mew was always conscious of that flaw.
… … It’s really ugly. why do i still have this It doesn’t make sense to think of it as an amulet of its own. Then why do you carry this ring in your arms every time you go out?
It was to be remembered and not forgotten.
What is the story behind this ring? What did you do to the person who would have been the owner of this ring that day? To remember and to remember, Mew always carried the ring with him somewhere on his body.
Like the earth torn apart by weeping and crying, a dry heart can no longer vomit tears. So only a shallow trembling breath remained.
Mew clasped the silver ring, which was a token of her deep bond with Ezio, in her hand.
Since the relationship has already been broken, I think I should throw it away every time I see it, but in the end, it comes back to its original place every day.
Seeing this always comes to mind.
The countless abusive words poured out on the senior that day are vividly heard. Even if I cover my ears, it pierces the back of my hand like a ghost’s whisper and shakes my head. Mu’s hot breath gradually grew rough.
When he barely raised his trembling head like that, the blood-stained senior smiled with a difficult smile and licked his lips.
———I’m sorry, I said.
The vision of that day seeps into my mind like a nightmare.
“Ahhh… … ”
“… … No.”
“Everyone, everyone… … It’s my fault.”
“I… … sorry. senior… … ”
In the middle of the extinguished dance hall.
The words of apology that Mew, who was crouched down, muttered softly, was repeated for a long time and wandered through the empty air… …