33 – Harassment
“…Seonah Yoo! What do you think of me?”
“…I… I…”
“You still think we don’t get along..?”
“I think we can get along…”
I’ll be friendly
It’s okay to be friendly.
I don’t like pain and suffering anymore.
I only had the courage to speak honestly about my thoughts.
You and I don’t get along.
So I’m not sure what meaning Lee Jin-ah accepted when saying, “I want you to hug me from now on.”
To be honest, I don’t think I did anything wrong enough to get my hand pierced with a fork and suffer unreasonable bullying.
For whatever reason… It’s wrong to hit, stab, and harass people like this.
“Lie, I can tell what Yoo Seon is thinking”
Jina Lee bends her knees and tries to make eye contact with me and her. Bright lighting. And me, dripping her body blood with a fork stuck in the back of her hand.
And Lee Jin-ah looking at it. Nothing is normal here.
I couldn’t look up at her and look at her.
…It seems like they’re looking into everything I’m thinking.
…Actually yes. No matter what, there’s no way I could be friends with a kid like this.
There is an overwhelming gap
That alone is incredibly burdensome.
You can get along with a kid who has no qualms about stabbing the back of his hand with a fork and wielding violent methods there…?
I’d rather believe the words that sheep and wolves are living happily in a small pen. But how do you say that
“…No..I… I…! I’m really friendly with you…”
“You can’t even look me in the eye and I think there’s no point in telling lies like that. Yoo Seon-ah, I could do anything for Yoo Seon-i.
Every day, Yoo Seon-ie eats his favorite food together, just takes classes together, and also- chats with each other every day. Even with that alone, I was satisfied.
Because we’re friends, because we like each other. Because I love Yoo Seon-i – I really want to do anything for you. I want to sacrifice everything, but you pushed me away.
I’m going to live my life the way I want to. Yoo Seon also doesn’t think about me and always does what he wants to do, so why can’t I do that?
I won’t care what Seon Yoo thinks anymore. It doesn’t matter if you hate me, and even if you hate me, I’ll ignore you. Even if you tear me apart and grind me thousands of times inside.
I never mind. Because Yoo Seon thinks so on the inside, but on the outside…”
Jina Lee holds out her hand. What should I do…? She looked at the hand for a moment, then she said—and put her head on it.
“…That’s right, Yoo Seon-ah. If you treat me well on the outside, there’s no problem. Just do what I tell you to do, just do what I tell you to do.
Why didn’t you try to do that…? I feed them, give them clothes, and make space for them to sleep. There’s no reason to refuse.
If you had been so kind to me as soon as you came up to high school, there would have been no problem. Rather, I wish it was treated better than it is now.
I don’t think it was that bad. ….Yoo Seon-ah, you’ve been uselessly proud of yourself since the old days. I didn’t want to listen to what other people were saying.”
-Ssukseuk.
Lee Jin-ah strokes my hair.
“But, that’s another charm of Yoo Seon-ah. Yoo Seon-ah. From now on, school life will be really fun.”
2)
I woke up. She quickly got up, made her bedding, and went outside.
I still feel a sting in the hand pierced by Lee Jin-ah. Still, she bandages and sterilizes me on time. Her wounds did not heal and she healed quickly.
She goes to the bathroom, uses her uninjured hand to wash her face, and looks in her mirror. The swelling that she got when she got hit in the men’s dorm or something has subsided a lot now.
“…Did you sleep well?”
Lee Jin-ah, who said that, was probably still tired, so she yawned and sat down in her chair.
Lee Jin-ah, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, was sitting at her table and waiting for me.
“Wait a little longer…”
“No, Yoo Seon-ah, I woke up too early, so I just couldn’t prepare breakfast. That’s just how you say it. You don’t have to be too polite.
Or is it Yoo Seon-ah, am I still having a hard time?”
…!
The nightmare of last night came to mind. It’s been about a week since she’s been living in the same house as Lee Jin-ah. A series of thin ice plates.
Depending on what I did and how I reacted, Jina Lee’s attitude changed dramatically.
She must have been looking at me with her sharp eyes.
I was beaten dozens of times in the thigh with a cane that day for sitting in a chair that looked too stiff the other day.
-I want Yoo Seon to think of this space as her own home, not hers.
-Yoo Seon-ah. You sit like that at the nursery school too..? Are you uncomfortable here…? You and I are friends, but why are you sitting like that?
…Ah- what is that…? When I sit next to you like this, it feels like my whole body just goes numb..? Is that so? Yoo Seon-ah. I really hate it and I hate it, so I’m going crazy.
But I told you to just think about it inside and not let it show on the outside. I can’t. Yoo Seon-ah. Roll up your pants
It still seems like blood is pouring out little by little from Lee Jin-ah’s thigh.
“…No, that can’t be… I’m so happy”
“Yes!
Lee Jin-ah said that she hoped that I would have a natural reaction while living in this house.
“Again, I almost felt bad knowing that Yoo Seon-i was uncomfortable..! Yoo Seon-ah, dry my hair before eating.”
I got up and stood behind Jinah Lee with a hair dryer and comb.
Brown hair, small head. Thin arms and legs, thin torso. If I put my mind to it, I think I can suppress it with all my might, take it down, and take it back as much as I did.
As much as I suffered. I want to crush Lee Jin-ah, pull her hair, and make her whole body covered with blue bruises.
Even now, thinking of the bodyguards protecting Lee Jin-ah like satellites somewhere invisible, my body didn’t listen.
On her first day, Jinah Lee asked her to comb her hair, and while she was combing her hair, her hair got tangled slightly, and she pulled it a little too hard, and then she pulled it out of Jinah Lee’s mouth.
-Ah.
As soon as the sound came out, I was able to share a hot kiss with the floor.
-It’s not like that, so don’t press the wire. Yoo Seon-i too… I hope she only thinks about that and doesn’t really put it into practice. You know because you’ve experienced it once, right?
Even if it looks like the two of you are alone like this. From that day on, I could never touch Lee Jin-ah.
Seriously, if I ever touch Jinah Lee, even the tip of her hair, it won’t end with a fork pierced through the back of her hand.
“Yoo Seon-ah, are you nervous?”
“…Uh…?”
“Your hands seem to be shaking.”
“I.. That.. No.. So.. Please”
“Don’t think too hard, that’s right. Yoo Seon-ah, just do it normally- normally. You did it a lot in the past. You did it when you were very young, so why can’t you do it now, bigger than then..?
I don’t want to be angry in the morning either. Therefore. I hope Yoo Seon-i doesn’t feel pressured and does well.”
“…Thank you…”
“That..?”
“Thank you. Thank you..!”
“I’m not using honorifics between friends. Yoo Seon-i is really clumsy today. … No, I’m fine-I want her to comb her hair quickly.”
Today’s Lee Jin-ah was more generous than usual. Because, as usual, she just skipped over the parts that would have been pointed out.
Slowly stroke Lee Jin-ah’s hair with a comb. I usually take good care of it, so when I combed it, her hair was smooth and well undone.
Dry her hair slowly with a hair dryer.
Perhaps, if it’s too hot… Lee Jin-ah might not like it. With the lukewarm wind as much as possible… Slowly. I was slowly drying her wet hair.
“…Yoo Seon-ah, what’s for breakfast this morning?”
“…That toast… And some fruit”
“Really..? I thought Yoo Seon-i wouldn’t like that”
“No.. I like it too”
“By the way, why do you always eat ramen in the morning, or do you starve? Aren’t you lying again? Be honest.”
“That… Actually, because you like it. That’s why I chose the menu Jina likes. Jina should eat what she wants too..! Because I can’t always eat what I want.”
“Ahahahaha- Yoo Seon-ah. Thank you, Yoo Seon-ah. No matter how I say it, I can only say such pretty things..? Even empty words feel good.”
There were days when I went out to eat lunch and dinner, and there were days when Lee Jin-ah prepared ‘breakfast’ for breakfast, and there were also times when I ordered it.
I decided to make this morning. …Actually… Toast, I only know strawberry toast and jam toast at food stalls, and I’m not good at peeling fruit.
I made this for now.
That… Continues these days. Because she made a lot of mistakes, Jina punished her a lot. So I really feel like I’m going to die, so if I make breakfast or something, Jin-ah won’t feel good?
With that in mind, I made a suggestion to Jina in the evening.
With a bright smile on his face, I couldn’t believe he was the one who hit my thigh with a cane just a while ago.
– Great! I’ll be looking forward to it!
Isn’t that what you mean by
?
From noble mtl dot com
“Yoo Seon-ah. This time, Yoo Seon-i is doing something she’s trying for the first time, so I let her do it…!?
At that time, do you really think you will be scolded twice as much? Got it…? I hope you will think carefully in the future.”
“…Yeah”