77 – Yujeong Lee
What did you do with your parents when you were young when you caught a person walking down the street..?
If you ask such a question, ninety-nine out of a hundred would go to an amusement park with dad and see giraffes – or make pancakes with her mom and it was fun.
I did a play in kindergarten – I played the role of a dwarf.
Still, my parents took a lot of pictures of me, etc… I’m sure there will be words like that.
In my case, what happened when I was with my parents when I was young..? When you think about it in your head, it wasn’t normal.
Brilliant lighting and immaculate cigarette smoke.
Bottles filled with a brown, glistening liquid.
The older sisters are wearing dresses that are so short that you can see all their underwear if you bend down a little. And the most gorgeously decorated mother among them.
Around the beginning of elementary school. I instinctively know that our house is different from other houses.
Exploring careers.
When I went to kindergarten.
Once, holding the teacher’s hand, some parents gave their consent and went on a field trip to the places where they work.
At that time, I was shocked.
Until now, I usually thought that all the grown-ups I saw were wearing pretty makeup and wearing tight-fitting clothes, but that wasn’t the case.
The bald men always seemed to be just-yelling at the table while screaming like monkeys… I thought all adults lived like that.
So wouldn’t kindergarten teachers and directors play like that with their friends every night when they go home after work..?
There was a time when I thought of the director running around on the table by myself and giggling.
Originally, that’s how people live-
As long as you entertain the men sitting on the sofa with a smile on your face, you will naturally make money.
I knew that until now… But during the field trip that day, I realized that it wasn’t so.
An architect who builds tall skyscrapers- And… An office worker who makes the cell phones we use.
From city hall to the civil servants and teachers who help our residents with their work- there were people with various occupations in the world, and all of them looked brilliant to me.
It is because of these people that I can live at home, play games on my cell phone, and also- I have access to electricity and running water.
…Now that I think about it, the people we saw during the field trip that day.
Obviously… I must have said that I could come to the field trip without any pressure because I had a good job to brag about to others.
While working there, I was a sanitation worker and a sewage treatment plant worker. Again- I’ve never seen a person like a lady who scrubs the bathroom.
The things we saw in the field trip were beautifully crafted and like presents in neat wrapping paper.
Because now I know that, where in the world is there anyone who lives like that..? I was able to look at them crookedly, saying that they were all scams or fabrications, but
At the time, I had no tolerance for such things.
Culture shock.
Back at home, I imagined taking my friends to the store where her mother worked.
-Jung Yoo, why is your mother dancing in front of people like that..?
-Your mother is wearing clothes that look like rabbits..?! Amazing!
-My mother told me not to go up to her table, but Yu-jeong’s mother goes up to her table..? Strange!
I was ashamed. I was just ashamed of everything.
I really hated the way home that day.
A neighborhood full of leaflets full of naked women with their heads down, covering the asphalt on the road.
I lived in such a neighborhood.
All the uncles and aunties I saw at the field trip I saw today had lively faces and seemed very confident.
The adults in this town have never seen anything like it.
It was full of people who had faces that looked like they were going to die during the day, but at night, they woke up, fixed their pale complexions with colorful makeup, and worked with forced smiles.
My childhood was gloomy.
When I came home, my mother was sleeping, and there was cold rice, side dishes, and soup on her table. Or just one ten thousand won bill.
It’s the same whether you eat at a nearby restaurant with money or what’s on the table.
Anyway, it’s the difference between just eating at the store or having it delivered.
My mom never cooked for me.
My mother was very young. And it was pretty. One day while watching my mom go to work with her makeup on, I thought nothing of it.
“I think my mom is the prettiest in the world!”
“…What…? Don’t take it for granted? If you weren’t there, I’d still hear college students! Do you think people like me are common on this floor?”
And smiled and accepted what I had to say. It was then that I saw my mother’s smiling face for the first time.
My mom heard that she had an accident when she was about 20 years old and she gave birth to me.
Mom never said a word about her father.
“… My mother said that when she was young – she was very good at studies, and also – she was good at sports…”
Sometimes he would get drunk and lament his life at me.
“…”
Now that I think about it, my mother did such a thing, so I had a sense of responsibility.
When she was young – She would go into the break room at the bar where her mom works and when her older sisters would talk about abortions and all that, she’d never been involved in a conversation like that.
“…That’s only for those who go until they’re gone. Yujeong’s mom told me not to come here..? Really, you’ll get scolded the next time you come here?”
…No, if you’re going to say that, I’ll make you eat, or give you some money. If I had done either of them, I wouldn’t have had to walk all the way here.
I hated coming here too- I want to eat warm tonkatsu or bulgogi rice bowls. Pineapple, melon, and shrimp-flavored snacks, puffed rice-I didn’t want to fill my stomach with stuff like that.
As I was eating pineapples and apples from my sisters in the break room, I wonder if it was because I was at work. My mom, who was wearing heavy makeup, took me home while pulling my cheeks.
Still, I liked that kind of mother. Happy to hold her hand and do something with her mom.
Always my childhood mom is either drunk or asleep, or she has to be – I loved how she came back sober when she scolded me.
2)
Since I was in the 3rd grade of elementary school, my mother did not go to work and was alone in her house, deep in thought.
She doesn’t drink, and she wears just-not a tight-fitting dress, but something like a loose-fitting dress-and didn’t answer when I called.
But I don’t work like that- I’m always curious about what I’ll eat and wear. And it was strange that even a bicycle to ride was coming out of nowhere.
If you look at a traditional fairy tale, things grow in the field – there is such a story, but wouldn’t mother have a mysterious vegetable garden where things grow?
“What do you think it will be like if Yoojung has a father?”
“…Dad…? There’s no daddy…! I don’t need a dad who makes my mom cry!”
“No! …Dad… Dad… So he’s away from us for a while now! I don’t know Yoo-jung because he’s young, but Dad always cares about us, and again- always comes to our house. I’m trying…!”
“…Lies! What has Dad ever done for us?! Mom always works, struggles- I don’t need Dad!”
-Isn’t it..? Maybe he would hate it if he suddenly came to see me…?
Mama avoided her seat, muttering her incomprehensible words to herself.
At the time, I couldn’t understand why my mother asked me such a question.
From noble mtl dot com
But still, something is changing. One thing was certain.
My mother no longer worked at nightclubs like the Korean Pavilion.
Instead, I could see them paying at the super cash register or serving at a restaurant like other aunties.
A few times… I secretly watched my mother work, and it was really awkward.
If I always calculate, the unit of the amount is wrong one by one, I forget a bowl every time I wash the dishes, or… There are many things like food getting hair in it…
Still, my mother did not go back to the Korean Pavilion.
I’m sorry- I was wrong- and I’ll try harder next time. Mama was so apologetic to people that she did her best to try and move on.
She didn’t live like an owl, always sleeping during the day and waking up at night.
As a result, since I go to school in the morning and leave school in the afternoon, and my mother also works in the morning and leaves school in the afternoon, we spend more time together in the evening.
We always have a meeting about what to eat in the evening, and we go to the supermarket to buy groceries. Success or failure, I always try to cook something and eat it…
On the weekends, we walk hand in hand in the park together, or rent a video of my favorite animation and watch it together… Go to the baseball field and watch baseball, and also play soccer in the field.
I had a great time.
She seems to remember that her mother couldn’t play with me because she was busy with work.
But I thought that what happened in the past was okay.
Because now I had a mother who was trying hard to do everything she couldn’t do then.
Then one day.
“…Jung Yoo. There’s someone I can introduce you to!”
My mom suddenly took me to a beef restaurant on the weekend. I ate a lot of pigs, but I couldn’t go several times because beef was expensive… What day is it today?
Why did my mother bring me here?
A man was already sitting where my mother and I were going to sit.
“…Nice to meet you..! I missed you, Yu-Jung-ah…!”
Looking at me, he opened his arms and came! Hugged me
Mom got down on her knees and brought me to eye level with her – then put it in my ear and she said:
“…Yoojung-ah, I have to say hello! Dad- Yes, Dad, Dad. So Yoo-jung, I have to say hello quickly..? Daddy will feel sorry for me..?! Huh?”