Omniscient First-Person’s Viewpoint chapter 469

469 – The Possible Father of Mine

Hmm. Confessing here that her mother was a geisha. This will only lead to degradation no matter how it’s said. I carefully expressed my words.

“So your family chose the profession of selling love. Your father must have been so happy with all the love he received.”

“Yes. I’m really… happy to have gotten to meet my father because of that.”

“What nonsense. I’ve never been to such a place, nor do I have the power to keep a geisha as my plaything! I even had to work at a host bar because I didn’t have money!”

Instead, I was the one being sold. …Oh well. Wasn’t it not the time to disrespect geishas? It was like spitting while lying down.

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“Your father came not as a customer but as a clerk…. He went to run a business targeting women, but he ended up falling in love with a geisha.”

“And now you’ve come up with that setting?”

“Thanks to that, ‘I’… got the best father.”

I have my professional ethics too. Even in the military host bar, I didn’t mess with people directly related to work. Hilder’s setting is a groundless slander.

But… I think I now understand why Hilder insists on calling me father.

“It seems that the audiences for Hilder’s performances were fathers. Was it to make sure that I looked good to the fathers, who changed every time?”

“… Yes. The customers of Lu came to meet my mother. ‘I’ was a mark left by the former customers of my mother, so the fathers disliked ‘me’. For my mother, ‘my’ existence was a flaw that tarnished her reputation and status.”

“They give birth and then act like they’re strange.”

“In the Empire and the After Empire, if a child is born, they must be given birth. It’s the same for Geira. Thanks to that, ‘I’ was born, but… for the child to survive, ‘I’ had to conform to other people’s desires.”

Hilder mumbled, recalling a past that she hardly remembers.

“The first father hated ‘me’ at first sight. Every time he saw me, he made a face asking me to go away. I didn’t know it back then, but looking back now, it was probably because of the sense of defeat of not being able to have my mother. When that person smiled at ‘me’… it was the only time ‘I’ called that person father. It was a distorted smile that seemed to be intoxicated with victory….”

“hahahaha. It seems like the first Spring Palace Minister really cherished his wife.”

“If you say you don’t want to bring the flowers that someone else picked into your house, then you haven’t given up until the end, have you?”

“Damn it. Because there are many parents, anything I say becomes a personal attack. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

It feels like walking through a minefield. I have become someone who listens to Hillde’s words without any movement.

“…The mere existence of ‘me’ is a flaw of my mother. Because of ‘me,’ the value of the guests who come to find my mother has decreased and diminished. I wish I could hide, but the stigma attached to being a concubine never disappears. As the number of influential people decreases, my mother gets angrier. She blames it on ‘me’.”

“Hmm. If I were to say it’s just because time has passed and depreciated… that would be rude, right?”

I must have been a little rude. Hillde pinched her side with her hand. She didn’t use any martial arts, but even without it, the pinch hurt.

“The only kind thing for me was the fathers who came to see my mother. Those fathers who tried to maintain their dignity used ‘me’ as a device to show their own judgment. I tried my best to please them. At least, while they were there, I could pretend to have a family.”

“So, did Hillde’s acting start from there?”

“…That’s right. If it can be called acting. Or maybe it should be called acting. I had to act so that I wouldn’t be abandoned by my father and not become someone to my mother. To the authoritarian fathers, I became a good and obedient ‘me.’ To the ambitious fathers, I became a clever and capable ‘me.’ To the old father, I became a playful ‘me.'”

“You called yourself a concubine and now an ideal daughter? That means it’s not a flaw, it’s an option.”

It was an attempt to lighten the mood, but Hillde murmured self-consciously.

“It was a normal process for the daughter of a concubine to become a concubine herself. If I had stayed there, I might have sold love like my mother.”

“That’s fortunate. Ah, it doesn’t mean that being a nun is a job that must always be avoided.”

“It’s much better and freer to work at the extremes than to be bound by a geisha.”

“Which side should I choose?”

Hillde muttered towards me, who was grumbling, with a slight smile.

“…I thought so too, but as my father said, ‘I’ just needed an audience. It’s meaningless no matter how much talent and skills I acquire if there are no appreciative spectators. Unlike other humans, ‘I’ was not made up of myself. I always needed someone to define ‘me.'”

Hillde’s acting is her past self. She consciously forgets everything she has experienced since she started acting and forcibly summons her former self. When she was chased after an accident while acting, when she listened to the heavens and acted as the Holy Sword, when she was summoned by the Saint and made an oath as the Holy Grail. Hillde, who returned to the time when she forgot the previous roles and was more innocent, stood at the starting point and whispered to me.

“If my father could become that person… if my father claims ‘me.’ I will become my father’s only daughter. It’s not about possessing my father, but my father will possess ‘me.'”

Fathers, spectators, even the Heavenly Saint. Hillde, who was disappointed by everyone and used them as spectators, now clung to me, the last person she found.

“If it’s an order, I will listen to anything and serve my father with all my body and soul. I will become my father’s Holy Sword.”

Abandoning the country, the Heavenly Saint, and everything, it means using everything for my sake. It’s like having a slave who faithfully and wholeheartedly serves me. And that slave is a first-rate strongman.

Transforming into the appearance I desire, using that tone of voice to act and hide in various places with the Holy Grail.

It was quite a daring temptation. I felt the sincerity behind it, which made it even more tempting. If I were an ordinary person, I might have accepted it without hesitation.

However, unfortunately, I am truly just an ordinary human.

“Is this performance your own will? It was quite impressive.”

My will is enough to move myself alone. I have no intention of becoming a lord who dominates my family like a vampire. That would be a waste of my family’s desires.

I gently pushed Hillde away and said.

“But if you were old enough, it’s time to become independent. Until when will you keep looking for your father? No matter how much your father surrounds you, if you continue to stay until you’re old enough to be independent, I can only look at you with pity.”

A firm refusal. Hillde blinked her eyes from inside the fur. Perhaps it was because she didn’t expect her own proposal to be so easily rejected. She smiled lonesomely and said.

“You’re too much. Can’t you be satisfied with ‘me’?”

“I want to let go because I am satisfied. It wouldn’t be fun if I could control everything according to my will. I love and cherish myself, but I don’t think I’m an interesting and fascinating being. Why would I go to the theater if the actor moves according to my thoughts?”

There seems to be confusion among people because of the name ‘King of Beasts’. The King of Beasts is not a being that rules over beasts. It is a representative being for beasts, a being that is swayed by beasts.

If the representative handles the beasts as they please, it is incitement. In that case, there would be no need for the King of Beasts from the beginning.

In response to my calm answer, Hilde suddenly thought of something and asked.

“Father, you have no intention of becoming the king of a nation, do you?”

Huh?

Suddenly, at this moment… the climax? As I stumbled over my words for a moment, Hilde calmly touched my chest with her hand and murmured.

“I felt it while watching. Father has no desire to rule over anyone else. He just watches and protects. That’s why he has no regrets about anything. He easily leaves behind the kingdom and even Tirkankja.”

“But…”

“Even though you don’t even want to become ‘me’, why would you want to have a country? Your plans were never about that from the beginning.”

Warmth slowly returned to Hilde’s body. Since I rejected Hilde’s new role, she had returned to her former role. Embracing the Holy Sword, the Sacred Treasure, and following the Human King, Hilde pushed me aside. Unlike before, I couldn’t resist her hand gesture filled with martial arts, and I was pushed away.

With a cape hanging over her shoulders, Hilde looked down at me coldly and murmured to herself.

“Father would rather forcefully bring me to the kingdom, even if it means using his strength. He wants me to act according to his will.”

“It’s not exactly like that. I had the intention of going to the kingdom.”

“But… you will never become the king of a nation.”

I couldn’t deny it.

Yeah. If I wanted to become a king, I wouldn’t have come to Eibi or Historia and entrusted it to them. I am content with only being human and deciding the fate of humans.

“It would have been easier if you had lied and said you wanted to have ‘me’.”

“I couldn’t do that because it made me uncomfortable.”

I honestly replied to Hilde, who spoke sadly.

Even if I am rejected by Hilde, I can’t afford to lose a talented actor. It would be a waste to use the treasure of mankind for my own greed.

…

It’s a pity, but I can’t help it. That’s what it means to be the King of Beasts. Unlike what is known to the world, the Human King does not rule over anyone. If only humans could feel like they ruled themselves.

That’s the life of a natural being…

Suddenly, I felt another sense of unfamiliarity. Although I couldn’t clearly distinguish it when I felt it before… I am a solitary sorcerer. I know better than anyone what happens in my mind.

That is my heart.

My heart that I cannot do as I please.

“Anyway, whether it’s you or me, we both have to escape from the kingdom. Whether you like it or not, I can’t do anything but be with you, Father~. Ugh. I hate it.”

I suddenly held back the words that were about to burst out towards the murmuring Hilde.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It only makes me feel more miserable~. Just go to sleep.”

Hilde shot back sulkily and lay down on top of me, just as she was. She climbed on top of me as if my body were a bed, hunched her body and closed her eyes. Before long, I could hear her sniffling breaths.

If you sleep like that, you’ll catch a cold… I was about to say, but I stopped myself. Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m using ki. It’s fine to sleep naked.

Steam was rising from the steam drum heated by the power of lightning. The hot and humid air filled the small tunnel. It seemed like having only one hearth would be fine for me. I, too, slept with my body covered in a blanket.