58 – Anxiety: Episode 58
Maybe I was a bit arrogant.
We always stuck together and studied together.
Unbeknownst to me, I thought that Han Kyul and I would be facing each other in a similar place.
I thought that if I maintained my current grades, I would definitely be able to attend the same university as Hankyul.
“Eunha. What do you think?”
“Huh? Nothing.”
It’s something to celebrate and be proud of.
I had to cheer them on so they could do better.
However, I cannot forget the feeling that bloomed in my heart in an instant.
I hated myself just for having that heart.
I was relieved that Han Kyul was weak in Korean.
My heart became calm knowing that Han Kyul might not be able to fly high.
I couldn’t honestly tell Han Kyul about these feelings.
Even I think about it, it’s a disillusioned feeling.
No matter how kind Kil-gyeol is, he won’t be able to accept my feelings like this.
If your girlfriend thought this, she might get goosebumps.
If the situation had been the other way around, Han Kyul would have congratulated me wholeheartedly.
Rather, it would have supported me more so that I could fly higher.
Knowing that made me hate myself even more.
I also think of myself as I open up Han Kyul’s heart like this.
“Hangyeol-ah. What will Han-kyul do if I go to study abroad?”
The footsteps of Han Kyul, who were walking together in the hallway, stopped.
And she said to me, startled.
“Are you going to study abroad?! Where? When are you going and when are you coming?!”
“Oh no! I’m asking what it would be like if I went to study abroad.”
“I want to follow you too…but realistically, isn’t it?”
“Yes. What if I go to study abroad alone?”
I’m trying to float with something like this.
I really hated myself like this.
“How can I not see you?”
“About a year…?”
“Um- I have to go.”
“Really? If Han Kyul tells her not to go, she might not go?”
“Eunha is going to study, how can I?”
As expected, Han Kyul said without hesitation.
Such a kind Han Kyul and my heart were in great contrast.
I guess I’m still a child.
“I see. I just asked you once.”
“This is an unusual question. What’s going on?”
“No. No. I must have been nervous because I had a consultation with the teacher.”
“Ah- Eunha today, right? Then i will be tomorrow I am a little nervous.”
Counseling was conducted every lunchtime based on the results of the mock test and midterm test in March.
I, number 17, was today, and Hankyul, who was number 18, was tomorrow.
“Yes. You have to go right now.”
“Yes. Then I’ll go to class first. Get well and come.”
“Yes. I go first~”
After parting with Hangyul in the hallway, I went into the teachers’ room.
“Ah- did you come to the galaxy? Sit here.”
The teacher pushed me a small stall chair.
As I sat down on the chair, the teacher checked my March mock test report and midterm test scores.
“Galaxy is… Yes. I’ve been steadily managing my grades since freshman year, but I said I made a little mistake in the mock test in March, right?”
“Yeah… After watching math, my mental breakdown was a little bit, so I think other subjects were also slightly affected.”
“Um- I see. Even if you haven’t taken other subjects in the CSAT, you should quickly forget about it and come to your senses. Got it?”
“Yes, yes.”
The teacher didn’t say much about grades.
“Are you going to write most of the application documents as a synthesis of student records?”
“I plan to write half of the general and half of the curriculum.”
“I think I can get the lowest rating. Don’t you have any thoughts on thesis?”
“Ah… From the beginning, I thought about general and subject, so I don’t know much about essay writing.”
“Yes. I think the student record management is good enough. However, it would have been nice if the video department had made the club a broadcasting department… That’s a bit unfortunate.”
“That… I applied, but it fell apart.”
“Ah- I see. Sorry. Still, it’s related to libraries, so there’s a lot of video-related stuff. Good job. Let’s prepare well for the mock exam in June and talk again. Do you have any other questions?”
I don’t know if it’s okay to ask such a question, but I carefully brought up the story.
“Hey… Can I go to the same university as Han-gyeol?”
“Hmm? All the same? Do you want to go to the same college as your boyfriend?”
“Ah…! That… I’m just asking, but…! How about this?”
The teacher answered my question with a smile.
“Hmm- I can’t give you the details, but it seems a bit upward for Eunha.”
“I see. Ah- no more questions.”
“It ended too soon. I just have to do it today. Can you call Han Kyul for me?”
“Ah- Yes. Okay. Thanked.”
“Yes~”
I nodded and left the office.
When I entered the classroom, Han Kyul was studying in his seat.
I was quietly doing my own thing in a noisy classroom.
I kept feeling sorry for Hangyul.
“Hangyeol-ah.”
“Huh? You came quickly. Did you end well?”
“Yes. It ended smoothly It ended early, so Han Kyul also asked to talk today. Go to the principal’s office now.”
“Oh yeah? Then I’ll go. I am resting.”
“Yes. Go.”
Han Kyul got up and headed to the teacher’s office.
When I sneakily looked around, Han Kyul was studying Korean even in this short amount of time.
It was very cool to have Han Kyul who continued to work hard in the future, but I felt a little distant from me.
I know I have to work hard, but why do I keep having negative thoughts?
At a time like this, I have to study hard like Hangyul, but I couldn’t get my hands on studying.
＜2＞
I wanted to get rid of the lump in my heart as quickly as possible, even for a second.
But I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of it.
“Eunha. I will study separately at home today.”
Kil-gyeol said that he would study separately today.
I thought it would be harder to get these thoughts out if I was alone, but I couldn’t get in the way.
Right now, it was right to focus on rational and objective judgment rather than my emotions.
“Ah- yes. Okay.”
“Still, let’s go home together.”
“Yes. Then let’s go slow. I want to stay with Hanyul a little longer.”
“Yes. Let’s walk slowly.”
Hangyeol smiled and held my hand.
From noble mt dot com
“Hangyeol-ah.”
“Yes. Why?”
“I just called it.”
I mean, Han Kyul just smiled.
Apparently, he noticed that I wasn’t feeling like usual.
Still, it was Hankyul who silently waited without asking.
But I didn’t want to show this emotion.
I was also afraid that I might be hated.
I just decided to quickly organize it myself.
Arriving in front of the house before I knew it, I said goodbye to Hangyul.
“Thank you for taking me there every time.”
“Go in carefully.”
“Yes. Go home and call me~”
After watching Han Kyul’s back as he returned home, I returned home.
I didn’t go into my room and just sat down on the sofa.
I looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh.
“Haa-“
“I thought there was an earthquake?”
“I’m not in the mood to deal with you.”
“Hi-go? When did you deal with him?”
“Can you stop holding the horse by the tail?”
It was my older brother who was eating pizza in the kitchen.
“Why are you looking like the whole world has collapsed?”
“Like my brother said, I guess I’m not that kind of a human being.”
I was still staring at the ceiling.
“Did you know that now?”
That son of a b*tch…But he was right.
“Why did you do deep self-reflection?”
“Brother. Oppa, what do you think it would be like if your girlfriend was really good?”
“Kiya~ Do you think I will meet a woman like that? Do you have eyes to see these days? Yes, I should meet a pretty girl.”
I frowned because I was annoyed.
“Annoyed. I just asked.”
“Haa~ She’s such a proud girlfriend… I haven’t met her yet, but I’m a little nervous, right?”
“Why are you anxious? That girlfriend would really like her brother.”
“Originally, that is how people feel. If you do too well, you might be worried that you will go far away.”
My brother said roughly while watching a movie on his cell phone.
But it was a story that somehow resonated with me.
“Your brother is a human being just like me.”
“What man? Originally, everyone’s heart is like that.”
“But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t cunning.”
“Why do you want to talk philosophy with me? What is the point?”
“No. I’m sorry for saying anything. Enjoy your pizza.”
“How many pieces do you have left?”
“It’s okay.”
I took a few minutes to gather my thoughts and got up from the sofa.
But at that moment, the intercom lit up and the doorbell rang.
“Who are you? Eh?!”
After checking the intercom screen, I hurriedly headed for the front door.
“Hangyeol-ah?”
“Ah…! Hello?”
“What are you doing here, not going home?”
“No. The galaxy seems a little bit in a bad mood.”
“Yeah. Does it look bad?”
“I’ll give you this.”
Han-gyeol carefully took out one of her bouquets from behind, with her face flushed.
KYAAA in depression
-Me