102 – The past you want to erase
Lucia Prien. 15 years old.
At the age of 15, she was going through a period of turbulence… a time when she was going through what is commonly called puberty, but Lucia did not have any strong feelings of rebellion, nor did she cross the line and become a juvenile delinquent.
However, I experienced confusion about my identity.
‘Who am I?’
Although 15 years had passed since she was reincarnated, Lucia thought about this sometimes. She also realized that she has been increasingly concerned about self-reflection these days. Even when I was barely old enough to walk and look in the mirror, I experienced confusion about my identity. As the belated confusion returns, I find myself feeling absurd.
However, I had a rough guess as to what the reason was.
Every morning and evening, when I take a shower to clean my body, I look at a large mirror even when I don’t want to.
His red hair and golden eyes were different from his previous life. The swollen breasts and increasingly curved body were no different from my previous life, but
Still, Lucia was dissatisfied.
‘Small.’
The word ‘small’ meant nothing more than ‘short stature’. When I held my chest from the bottom up, I could feel its weight, and it was definitely bigger than the average size of children of the same age that I saw in the locker room one day.
but,
It was definitely smaller than when Lucia was in her previous life, Kylie.
Not only was he short, he was short in everything. Arms, legs, height, even chest.
‘Could it be…isn’t it bigger here?’
Lucia felt a little regret. Men may not know this, but most women stop growing around this time. In other words, 15 years old was the age when people would get married and have children. It’s not like that these days, but it was like that 500 years ago.
‘Rebirth…’
I never dreamed that I would realize that I was reincarnated in this way, but it seems inevitable that I would feel dissatisfied.
Being short was uncomfortable in many ways. Moreover, since Lucia was a member of the library committee, she often had to face uncomfortable situations.
When I took out a tall book, I had to not only stand up but use a makeshift ladder, and I thought that maybe the reason I was ignored by naughty kids was because of my short height.
however,
Lucia was happy now. What if you are short? I was finally able to enjoy a normal life.
500 years ago, Kylie, a warrior who rose up with great intentions to subdue the demon god, died.
Even when she thought about it herself, Lucia thought that her footsteps in the past were noble and great. But it was a huge sacrifice. Many people died, many cities burned down, and Kylie’s life was completely blown away.
It was alive, but not alive.
‘I don’t want to do it again.’
For that reason, Lucia did not have much of an idea about the reason or cause of her reincarnation.
When I was toddling around and being kidnapped by a red-haired man, I had deep philosophical thoughts, but as my peaceful life continued day by day, I realized that worrying about it was of no help.
‘This life is compensation for the last life.’
To that extent, living as Lucia Prien was satisfying enough.
Even though my mother passed away at a young age and I faced a family that openly pretended to be their descendant, I was really happy to have a family that I could rely on, a well-fed stomach and a well-behaved sister.
family.
And lack of love.
Lucia felt like the hole in her heart was gradually being filled.
‘Because my past life was painful and difficult. ‘It’s okay to be a little happy in this life, right?’
Because of that mindset, Lucia decided to enroll in the academy.
I wanted to study the things I couldn’t accomplish in my previous life, hang out with kids my age, and sing about youth.
And, since I was far away, I decided to sleep in Siron’s room, where I only occasionally sent a few letters.
Siron’s room was well ventilated and had good lighting as it faced south. It was the same in Lucia’s room, but somehow I seemed to sleep better when I slept in Siron’s room.
Crucially, I stopped having the nightmares I had shortly after Siron left.
It was a bizarre nightmare.
The dream of myself as an adult stabbing a knife into the chest of Siron, an adult, gives me goosebumps because he is not even an adult yet. Doesn’t this seem like a precognitive dream?
Lucia in the dream was extremely irritated, frowned, and cursed as she raised her dull sword and stabbed Siron in the chest.
A voice filled with anger.
An appeal full of sorrow.
Lucia in the dream seemed to hate Siron very much.
‘It’s a ridiculous dream. No matter how much I hate you, how can I…’
Lucia did not hate Siron.
In fact, I even feel grateful. Siron never showed the prophecy that the world would be destroyed or the possibly real holy sword in front of Lucia. Lucia understood it as consideration.
For several years, Lucia lived in Siron’s room. But today is the last day.
Siron was listed in the immigration record that Siriel showed, but Siron did not return even after 12 midnight.
So, just for today, until today, let’s sleep in Siron’s room. If you have a useless nightmare, you’ll feel bad. I thought so…
“Why are you here? Wasn’t this my room?”
“Uh… uh… what is it…”
Lucia could not say anything to Siron, who returned after a long time.
Have you been there? Like, it was very difficult, right? Or something. I missed you… Even if it wasn’t the same cringe-inducing words, I wanted to at least throw a welcome party.
But now, in this situation, I had no idea what to say or what to do.
‘Stupid, stupid, idiotic b*tch. ‘I guess I’m really crazy.’
“Oh, it’s been a while. I missed you.”
Lucia recited the lines she had prepared in advance like a golem. I had been worrying all day about what I should say first when faced with the theory, but when the situation turned out like this, instead of being moved, I felt like blood was rushing to my face.
However, in the current situation, all Lucia could do was divert her attention to forget her embarrassment. Lucia said whatever warm words came to her mind.
“Was it difficult to come that long way? It must have been very difficult, but come on. You’ve grown a lot taller. Are you and I siblings?”
“…”
“No matter how different our mothers are, if we look so different on the outside, who would see us as siblings? It’s fascinating.”
“No, don’t talk back and just answer. Is this my room?”
Siron walked closer to Lucia with long strides. Lucia gaped and looked up at Siron. As we got closer, our heads rose into the sky due to the height difference.
Five years may not be a long time for an adult, but it seems to be a long enough time for a child. Siron was much taller and bigger than 5 years ago.
Siron, whose voice became deeper, frowned.
“No way, my room while I was away…”
“Waaah! Waaah!”
Lucia pushed Siron and screamed.
“Everyone, shut up! What, what kind of bullsh*t are you talking about? I just came here because I felt some kind of presence in your room and thought there might be a thief in there? Don’t be a f*cking idiot!”
“…Or you say no. Do you even scream?”
“Ah anyway! Why are you coming through the window? I almost hit you again! Is the door decorative?”
Lucia insisted desperately. I couldn’t bear to find out that I was living in Siron’s room because I didn’t want to have nightmares.
One day, I wanted to reveal to the people around me that I was Kylie’s reincarnation, so I had to create as few embarrassing memories as possible. But the most damn embarrassing experiences kept piling up.
“Hey kid. Aren’t you being too harsh on your brother?”
Then. A woman’s voice was heard from behind Siron.
“Can’t I say something warm to my brother whom I haven’t seen in a long time?”
‘f*ck. ‘What is that b*tch?’
Lucia felt her head go cold. It was a woman’s voice, a very unfamiliar voice at that. The woman was now hidden by Siron’s body and could not be seen. Lucia decided to take Siron aside.
“What are you…”
“Do you know how much your brother has suffered just now?”
“…uh?”
Lucia’s head cooled once more.
Siron’s room.
Behind Siron’s back.
There was a silver-haired elf.
The silver-haired elf was glaring at Lucia with purple eyes.
‘…Seira?’
The elf in front of her looked a lot like the annoying elf in Lucia’s memories.
‘What is that with Seira…’
Lucia froze in place. Silver hair, purple eyes, and a harsh and provocative tone of voice. The elf in front of me was Seira.
I couldn’t deny it. Even if I contrasted it with the memories of my past life stuck in my head, the woman in front of me was actually my old colleague who stood up with me to defeat the demon god.
“You… what are you?”
‘Why are you coming out of there?’
Lucia stared at Seira with a bewildered face, and Seira crossed her arms and made a cocky face.
“Why, should I at least introduce myself? My name is Seira Romer, and I am the greatest and greatest wizard of all time…”
“Sorry.”
Lucia ignored Seira and said while holding Siron’s shoulder.
From noble mtl dot com
“Are you very tired? Quickly wipe your feet and go to sleep.”
“Huh? Uh…”
Siron answered hesitantly. Lucia trudged to the door.
Lucia slowly opened the door and looked behind her. She wasn’t even embarrassed, but rather spoke with a very calm expression.
“I have to wake up early tomorrow.”
Dalkak-
And Lucia ran down the hallway. The sunken face was red enough to be seen even in the dark.
‘what? Is it really Seira? ‘Is it Seira?’
Lucia returned to the room with her heart pounding. And then I locked the door. Lucia leaned against the door and slid down.
‘Why is that bastard with Shiron? The fact that you met that guy wasn’t even mentioned in the letter in the first place, right?’
Memories flashed through Lucia’s head like flashes of light.
The scene where Shiron was beaten and knocked unconscious.
A scene where Siron is bewildered.
The scene where Siron whines for food.
And even the scene where he cries like a child in front of Shiron…
Among them, the most embarrassing thing was the fact that he stayed in Siron’s room for several years while exchanging letters with him. When I thought about it, I also remembered reading Kylie’s children’s books thousands of times.
“Ha…f*ck.”
Strangely enough, I didn’t feel the emotion of the reunion at all. Rather, my mind was filled with thoughts of wanting to bite my tongue and commit suicide.